Lies
by ever6
Summary: Seth has second thoughts that lead up to tragedy and some surprising revelations. An unintentional novel. S S SomeR A
1. Default Chapter

~Lies~  
  
Seth shook his head in disgust, grateful that rounding the corner into the hall diminished the deafening noise in the living room. Since he'd arrived at the party, the stereo had been spewing the so-called "music" of Britney Spears and he wasn't sure how much more his emo and indie rock loving, pop music hating soul could take. If it didn't stop soon, it was entirely possible that the house's owner would discover Seth Cohen folded up in a corner of his/her home tomorrow morning, banging his head against the wall and muttering gibberish. He sent a silent plea skyward for better music or silence, well, actually ceiling-ward, if you wanted to get technical, and wondered who lived here anyway. This would be easier, quite possibly fun, if Ryan had come with him, but since Marissa was grounded until shop- lifting became a fashionable thing for the ladies of Newport to do, he decided he needed some "alone time" to just chill. Seth could understand that. The holidays had to be tough on him, even if he'd never admit it. He personally thought that Ryan having a tiny break from Marissa would do him some good. There was obviously something very deep between the two of them - maybe love, and he was happy for both of them, but being Marissa Cooper's boyfriend was - uh - challenging for the guy lately, to say the least.  
  
His covert operation to find Summer without anyone actually knowing he was looking for her had been a resounding failure. He'd just begun subtly questioning Marissa over the phone when she'd cut him off mid-sentence with a half exasperated, half amused sigh and told him Summer might be at a party at this address tonight, then laughingly wished him luck. Apparently his hidden agenda was not hiding, and possibly was jumping up and down while waving at everyone he knew. Stupid agenda. He'd realized then that it didn't really matter who knew his quest; he'd just been trying to save face after his spectacularly idiotic decision regarding the two women in his life anyway. And who was he kidding? There was no face-saving to be had, oh no, not by Seth Cohen. The blonde and the brunette were no longer in his life, and that would be because he was Obviously Mentally Unstable. Summer had called him that once, and he'd disagreed at the time, but her diagnosis fit rather well into this equation. He'd told Marissa a Newport party was about the last place he wanted to be, just ahead of an ABBA concert with Satan as the opening act, and he'd just try to call Summer again tomorrow. But after staring at the wall in his bedroom for two hours feeling like he would explode if he didn't talk to her, he decided he couldn't wait till tomorrow. So here he was in he-had-no-idea-who's bathroom, avoiding the pod- people and the tragedy that was Britney Spears.  
  
Marissa hadn't actually called him a pathetic loser on the phone, but he swore he could actually hear her thinking it. Kind of in a fond way. Right between "Good luck" and "Talk to you later, Seth". And the strangest thing about hearing Marissa's thoughts wasn't the part about hearing her thoughts. It was that he agreed with her.  
  
He'd been ok with the decision, bummed that they didn't WANT to be friends, but still sure that he'd done the only thing that wouldn't leave one of them feeling hurt and rejected. Yes indeed, he'd been sure of it right up to the moment he walked into the pool house the next morning to see if Ryan was up and came face-to-face with the bed that he'd been on. With Summer. He'd turned back and looked at the wall by the door where he'd been shoved and kissed over and over again. By Summer. He'd swung back toward the bed, envisioning her lying on top of him, giggling while they talked and kissing with abandon. Seeing Summer, warm and soft and sweet underneath him, looking up with shy trusting eyes, her happiness at being with him (with HIM!) written all over her face; her hands running all over his back and neck and sides and in the middle of that reverent memory it had hit him like a Hummer2 driven by a blind crack addict.  
  
He'd made a monumental mistake.  
  
In his haste and worry about hurting anyone he'd managed to wound all three of them. The girls had WANTED him to choose and were ready to deal with whatever he said. But he'd lied to one of them and now it was too late to fix it.  
  
He certainly hadn't experienced heart-stabbing pain when confronted with the bed he'd been on with Anna. In fact, he'd read, then slept in it all night without a problem.  
  
He hadn't vowed to join his mom at yogilates so he could kick himself in the head when he'd looked at the spot in his room where he and Captain Oats and Anna had kissed. Nope. Even walked over it several times without a care.  
  
Who had he wanted for 6 years? Summer.  
  
Why had he not chosen her? Because he didn't want to hurt Anna's feelings. She'd liked him from the moment they met, unlike Summer, and had been an extremely good friend. Friend being the operative word. He didn't want to lose that ever. But Anna had known how he felt about Summer since day one, and if she was really a friend she'd sort of understand why his decision didn't go in her favor.  
  
In the midst of this revelation in the pool house Ryan had looked up from his book. "Seth. What are you doing?"  
  
Seth had turned to the chair his friend was lounging in with a stricken expression on his face and uttered something remarkable like "I - I - No you - I can't - It wasn't - Really what was I - She was - See - she - she -"  
  
Ryan had held up a hand to quiet the flow of nothing coming out of his mouth. "I knew this was gonna happen. Just not this soon." At Seth's evident confusion, Ryan had continued. "You're having second thoughts about the girls, right?"  
  
**Seth nodded. "You're wishing you'd have picked ...." Ryan thought hard. "Summer?" Seth closed his eyes briefly and nodded. Ryan gave him a rare look of sympathy and shook his head. "I told you to pick one all along, man. You don't LISTEN." Seth lowered his head and stared at floor. "Look, you want to talk about it?" He was surprised to hear Ryan offering himself as a sounding board, but shook his head no. "You want my advice?" Nodding. Definitely. Ryan stared out the window for a moment, then turned back to him. "Tough one. At this point, your only option is to find her and beg like crazy. If you ever speak again. I gotta tell you, as much as I sometimes wish you'd never talk? This is really disturbing."**  
  
He had shrugged and made his way out of the pool house and up to his room.  
  
Seth sighed and decided to make one more sweep through the party house and back yard, then head home if Summer wasn't here. Just as he opened the bathroom door, Jesus and Moses had mercy and Britney fell silent. He mouthed a "thank you" ceiling-ward and thought he heard a very familiar voice coming from further down the hall. The door to the room was still opened several inches, so he smiled and headed toward it, becoming alarmed and instantly switching to stealth-mode when he heard a male voice. Unmistakable sounds of kissing and making out followed, and Seth figured his chances of being busted were slim, seeing as the two people macking probably weren't paying attention to anything in the hallway. He crept to the door and spied through the crack, immediately squeezing his eyes shut in pain when he saw the couple groping each other on the bed. He forced himself to count to three, open his eyes and look again, just to be certain. The light was dim at best, after all. It could be someone else that kind of looked like her. He watched as she sat up, her hair shimmering and sweet face glowing in a beam of light thrown through the window by the streetlight outside. She peeled off her top in one fluid motion and Seth quickly turned away to rush quietly down the hall, sick and desperate to get out of the house.  
  
**** 


	2. Lies2

~Lies-2~  
  
Seth killed the motor in his driveway and slumped forward, resting his hands and forehead on the steering wheel. He didn't remember much about the drive home and suddenly had a terrifying vision of cars spinning and crashing into other cars that ran off the road and crashed into houses and mailboxes in the Range Rover's wake. It was eerily similar to a scene in a movie but he couldn't remember which one. He lifted his head and watched absently as his hands shook on top of the leather bound wheel. Get a grip, Cohen. Get your shit under control. Now.  
  
He had absolutely no idea what to do. Yes, he did. He needed to talk to Ryan. Glancing at his watch, he realized how late it was. Ryan was surely asleep and he had no business waking him up, right? Even for something as serious as this. He could handle it until tomorrow. Ryan handled stuff, really bad stuff, all the time by himself and hadn't he always wanted to be like Ryan? Now was the time to start. Seth liked to think of himself as a non-aggressive person in every way that didn't include his speech patterns, but at this moment he was experiencing dangerously high levels of sympathy, understanding, and need for Ryan's sometimes violent tendencies. He had no real desire to be like his best friend in that respect, but he sure as hell had a new point of view.  
  
Seth relaxed in the seat and massaged the back of his neck where a tension headache was making its presence known in a very big way. What he really needed to do was calm the hell down, because when you were calm, you could think rationally. According to his mother, anyway. He didn't totally understand the concept, because as he saw it? The facts of this situation were exactly the same whether you were sprawled on the couch with your feet up on the coffee table, or were jumping in front of a beautiful girl in a blind panic when a lunatic pulled a gun at a party. Nothing. Changed. What he had just witnessed in that bedroom.  
  
He got out of the truck and followed the sidewalk around to the back. The gardenias he'd wanted to show Summer still hadn't bloomed. Yeah, yeah, so it was a ploy to keep her out of house. He still would have liked her to see them in bloom. No lights in the pool house. Seth stood there, undecided, for a long minute, then walked quickly to the glass doors, raising a hand to knock. He hesitated, then dropped the fist to his side and spun around, staring up at the sky. Heaving a sigh, he went into the house and scared himself badly by wishing his parents weren't out of town. Right now, he would talk to either one or both if necessary. Unbelievably enough. Or maybe it would be better if he just kept his mouth shut.  
  
He felt acutely small and insignificant as he took the familiar route through the huge house. All the silent empty space around him just intensified his loneliness. His head hurt and he still felt queasy as he dropped his shirt, then jeans while crossing his room to the bed. He grabbed Captain Oats off of his nightstand and fell onto the comforter. Seth stared at the ceiling for hours.  
  
****  
  
"Hey man."  
  
"SETH!"  
  
"Wha-?" Seth struggled to open his eyes as his bed began jiggling beneath him. Ryan came into focus, the same Ryan that was shaking the foot of his bed. "Dude. That is so not right. I'm trying to SLEEP!"  
  
"I've been trying to wake you for 5 minutes."  
  
"Oh." Seth closed his eyes and groaned. "I was up really late. You might even call it early. And why are you daring to disturb my rest at", he turned his head to see the alarm clock, "7 am on a sacred Saturday morning. SATURDAY being a key word and SACRED also because I am not required to be AWAKE THIS EARLY? On Saturday. Of the weekend."  
  
Ryan cocked his head and narrowed his eyes. "What happened last night? You never act like this in the morning."  
  
"Nothing, ummm, happened. I'm just tired. The last time I looked at the clock before finally going to sleep was approximately 1 hour and 15 minutes ago." The last part was true anyway. The first? Not so much.  
  
"You're sure? Everything's ok?"  
  
Ryan actually looked worried and Seth immediately felt like an ass. "Dude, I'm sorry about the yelling. I'm just dead. Maybe I'm coming down with something. Or something."  
  
Ryan watched him for a moment with one of those looks of his that gave you no idea what he was thinking about. Seth had named that look the "poker face" and it always made him feel like an ant under a magnifying glass.  
  
He finally spoke. "Seth, you're lying. If you want to talk about it, I'll, you know, listen. So. Do you need the truck? One of your mom's builders invited me to a site. Then we're going to talk to the architect."  
  
"Cool. Right up your alley, man. Take the truck. But how-?"  
  
"She introduced me to a bunch of people in the business at the Christmas party." Ryan looked both very pleased and embarrassed.  
  
Seth guessed this was something that Ryan had always wanted to do, but never dreamed he'd be able to. He also suspected the introductions alone, which had undoubtedly involved his mom beaming with pride and going on endlessly about the new member of the family's academic record and interest in architecture, had been a ground-breaking experience for his friend. The look on his face right now said volumes. Seth grinned at him. "That is awesome, man. You look so damned excited. Which is - really - a decidedly new look for you."  
  
Ryan picked Seth's jeans up off the floor and threw them at him. "You want to come?"  
  
"No, no, thanks. I'm going to spend some quality time with my bed today. You go and have a good time. The keys are on the hook in the kitchen. Later, man."  
  
Ryan raised a hand and was gone.  
  
Seth realized he was cold. He crawled under the covers and refused to let his thoughts overpower his need for rest. As soon as he got warm, he was sound asleep.  
  
****  
  
In what felt like two minutes later, the phone was ringing. Seth automatically reached for his cell phone, fumbling around till he found it on the nightstand. It wasn't ringing. He threw the covers off violently. "I just want to SLEEP. Why does the rest of the world want TO DENY ME THAT?" He searched under various articles of clothing and books until he found the cordless phone. Still ringing obnoxiously. "Yeah. What?" He collapsed back onto the bed.  
  
"Oh. It's you."  
  
Seth closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was going to be a long day. "Well, Summer. You just dialed my phone number. Who else were you expecting?" The deep breath was supposed to make that come out less harsh. It didn't work very well.  
  
"Maybe someone who's mastered the skill of answering a phone properly," she snapped back at him.  
  
"There are worse things I could have said." He crawled back under the covers.  
  
"Whatever. Let me talk to Ryan." He could hear her nails drumming impatiently in the background.  
  
"Why do you want to talk to Ryan?"  
  
She let out a sharp breath. "Look, Cohen. I don't have time to argue with you. This is important. Do you really think I WANTED to call your house after you dumped me?"  
  
"Summer, I didn't - "  
  
"Save it. Ryan?"  
  
"He's not here. He'll be gone all day." Seth stared at the ceiling. It was so familiar after the previous sleepless night.  
  
"Damn it." There was a long silence. "Then I need to talk to you, Cohen."  
  
He sat straight up in the bed. "What? Me? I don't -"  
  
"Yes. You. Be here in a half hour."  
  
"Ryan has the truck."  
  
Summer was beginning to sound frantic. "FINE. I'll be there in a half hour." She hung up.  
  
Seth stared at the phone in his hand. Had she used Ryan as an excuse to talk to him? It would be a Summer-like thing to do. But she would have to know Ryan was gone. And why would she want to talk to him? God, who knows? He'd find out soon enough. He got out of bed and wearily headed to the shower. 


	3. Lies3

~Lies-3~  
  
The doorbell was ringing before Seth was even dressed. He muttered "Half an hour my ass" as he tried to put on his jeans while walking down the stairs. Somehow managing not to kill himself or break any extremities, he stopped at the bottom of the stairs to zip them up and started with his shirt. The doorbell rang again. Patience had certainly never been one of Summer's virtues. He rolled his eyes and jogged to the door, opening it with only one arm and half of his head in the polo shirt.  
  
Summer looked up and took a step back, surprised but obviously taking notice of his bare chest and stomach. She glanced away quickly as he finally managed to finish dressing. There was an awkward silence. She caught his gaze. "So Cohen. You always did have trouble with your shirts." She smiled hesitantly, just a little.  
  
He had seen a few of those rare, soft smiles of hers he had always liked to think were reserved just for him. Of course they all occurred in that short period of time after she confessed her real feelings for him right up until he had crushed said feelings. He missed them. Seth had a flashback of their time in Ryan's bed on Thanksgiving. "I believe it was you that generally had problems with my clothing." She had given up in frustration yet again, demanding he remove his own shirt and be quick about it when they were on their date. "Come in, Roberts. What is SO important that you would lower yourself to talk to a jerk like me?"  
  
Summer seemed uncertain. "Maybe we should go for a ride. No one can hear this conversation. And I mean NO one."  
  
He left her standing in front of the open door and walked toward the kitchen. "My parents are out of town and I need to eat. Quit standing out there and shut the door behind you."  
  
She followed him into the kitchen and sat at the island. "Look Seth. This doesn't change anything. Between us I mean. I have a major problem and I don't know what to do and you - you're the only one I can think of to talk to right now."  
  
"I'm making breakfast. Do you want some? And does that mean you didn't really want to talk to Ryan?" Seth grabbed bacon and eggs out of the refrigerator and got them going on the stove.  
  
"I - well, kind of. But it's better if I talk to you first, I think. I'll take an egg, thanks." She watched nervously as he flipped the bacon and eggs.  
  
"What about Marissa? Isn't she your -?"  
  
"Damn it Cohen! I can't talk to her! This is serious and I don't know what to do!" She was on the verge of tears and hated admitting that she needed his help.  
  
Seth turned to look at her, worried by her emotional outburst. "Are you ok? Did someone hurt you, Summer?" He quickly put the food on plates and sat down next to her. "What's going on?"  
  
She took a deep breath. "It's not about me. Look, I went to a party last night at Neelander's. I was talking to him and he told me he'd seen something. Something bad. I don't know whether it's just gossip or true but I can't imagine why he'd make it up and I keep going three different directions on how to deal with it." Her words were running together as her voice got louder.  
  
Seth put his hand on her shoulder. "Ok. Take it down a notch. Everything's all right." He got up and poured her a glass of orange juice. "Here. Take a drink and breathe. You're gonna pass out or something equally night-time drama-ish."  
  
She drank and took a couple of deep breaths.  
  
He watched her, concerned. "Better?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Ok. Tell me what Neelander said. No wait. First. Does he by chance live in a tan house right on the beach and have someone in his crew that likes Britney?"  
  
Summer rolled her eyes. "That would be his girlfriend. She's a freshman, and was like so upset when her CD accidentally met a tragic end. And how do you know that, anyway?"  
  
"I was there last night too. What did he tell you?" Seth replied quietly.  
  
Summer's eyes widened in surprise. "You were there?" She took another long breath. "He said - God Seth - He said he saw Jake and Marissa come out of a bedroom together holding hands and sneak out of the house the back way. She was - uh - a mess. He said it was obvious they'd been - they'd been - Oh God! I can't believe this. He's just making it up, right? She and Ryan are like, in love and all that sappy stuff! Right?" She looked up, begging him with her eyes to say something that would make it all a joke. He was so good at that. He could go on one of his rants about anything and make it hilarious. She'd laugh and realize how silly she'd been, and they'd eat their breakfast and go on with the day. But nothing funny was coming out of his mouth.  
  
Seth rubbed his forehead for a moment and got up from the stool. He grabbed her elbow and gently guided her into the den. She sat down and he folded one long leg under himself and faced her on the couch. "It's true, Summer. I saw them."  
  
Her eyes widened. "Oh my God, was Ryan with you? Did he see-?"  
  
He shook his head quickly. "No. I went by myself."  
  
"What were you doing there by yourself? Isn't that kind of like, asking for a fight?"  
  
Seth knew what she doing. She didn't want to process the situation so she was sidetracking. Typical Summer. "Believe it or not, my small amount of time being with you has raised my social worthiness out of the toilet. People pretty much leave me alone instead of the normal instant harassment." He looked at the floor. "And I was there looking for you. But we need to talk about Marissa. I was up all night trying to figure out what to do."  
  
"So was I! It kept going around and around in my head until I felt like screaming. Tell Ryan? Tell Marissa? -"  
  
Seth finished it with her. "- or keep your mouth shut. I know. All night long. I can't figure out what the best thing is to do, and I don't want to screw everything up with the wrong choice." He stretched his legs out in front of him and fell back into the couch.  
  
"You really saw them?" Summer's voice was small and quiet.  
  
He didn't look at her. "Yeah. I couldn't find you so I was basically hiding in the bathroom. It went quiet when I came out into the hall and I heard her talking. She was in a room without the door shut all the way so I thought she was just in there talking with a friend or maybe Ryan. Then I heard a guy and looked in and it was - bad."  
  
"Are you sure it was her? Maybe they were just talking or something." Summer still had hope.  
  
"I don't think grinding on top of someone with your hand up her shirt is considered talking in most of the free world. And then she - she, she sat up to take her shirt off and her face was clearly visible. It was definitely Marissa."  
  
Summer sat back, stunned. Then she began to cry.  
  
Seth averted his eyes, not knowing the proper action to take with one's crying ex-girlfriend that hated you. Somebody needed to write a book with the rules. Should he - do something? It was killing him to see her cry. Would it make her mad if he - ? He couldn't stand it any longer and reached for her, pulling her into him and holding her tightly. She automatically shifted her legs around to lay on the couch and buried her face in his shoulder. "I thought - this is so wrong. Seth, Ryan's so GOOD to her! I thought she was doing better seeing the shrink and all she talks about is how sweet Ryan is and how much he cares and takes care of her and how much she loves him! Why would she do this? And she's grounded! How did she do this?"  
  
He silently shook his head. Summer cried for a while, then finally fell silent. " Do you feel like eating now?" She shook her head against his chest. "Me either."  
  
"I'm so tired, Seth. Can I just - stay here for a while?"  
  
He looked down at her and stroked her hair. Her face was pale and she seemed exhausted after sobbing out her tension and confusion. If her night was anything like his, she'd spent most of it feeling like she'd grabbed onto a live wire. "Of course you can. Here, stretch out and get comfortable." He reached behind them and grabbed a throw from the top of the couch. He was spreading it over her when she said no. "You don't want a cover?"  
  
"No. Yes. I mean .You too. You were up all night too."  
  
Seth hesitated, wondering how good of an idea that was. It would be twice as rough later when she hated him again.  
  
"Please, Seth?"  
  
After the crying there was no way he could resist a plea like that. She was tired and upset and just wanted some comfort. Don't let yourself think it means anything. Take what you can while you can, Cohen, and deal with later when it happens. They shifted around until they were both lying covered with the throw, wrapped around each other. Seth settled in and relaxed, aching inside at how familiar and good it felt to have her warm body against his and her arms around him once again. He stroked her hair and yet again mentally kicked himself for screwing things up so badly. It could have always been like this. He felt infinitely better having someone to share this horrible secret with, anyway. They could figure out what to do later. He felt extremely warm and content and sleepy. Without thinking he brushed kisses across her forehead like he used to do. She murmured something he couldn't quite hear and he fell asleep determined to beg her for another chance when they woke up.  
  
**** 


	4. Lies4

A/N - Thanks for the reviews!  
  
~Lies-4~  
  
Summer sped home wishing she'd never got out of bed and never dialed Seth's number that morning. What was she doing, letting him see her raw emotions like that? God, she'd cried in front of him for starters, then she'd asked to stay with him and practically begged him to snuggle with her! She hated him, right? He dumped her and it had hurt like hell, especially after she'd finally figured out what her feelings for him were. They were huge and it was terrifying that she cared so much. Admitting them to herself and then trusting him with them, well it like being in the tube of a monster wave with the peak hovering over you, knowing it was going to drop and you'd most likely wipe out and drown. Gnarly.  
  
She'd been surprisingly happy hanging out with him and loved their rapid- fire banter, and was excited to get to know him better. He was so funny and smart and he looked at her like no one ever had before and listened to what she had to say instead of just staring at her tits and trying to get her clothes off. With the exception of Anna in the mix, everything had been good and then, of course, he dumped her. He didn't want her. That huge wave had broken and had she ever wiped out. She actually had a week or two where she was convinced she wasn't pretty or fun or anything special at all. Anna was smarter and tinier than her, but Seth wasn't with her either. Summer didn't get that at all. Had he just been playing with both of them? She finally gave up trying to figure it out.  
  
So screw boys. And men. They were all just like her dad, wearing her down until she believed they could be trusted and wouldn't hurt her again. Then they canceled her last 5 special just-the-two-of-them birthday dinners because of 'business'. Or a sudden emergency at 'work' came up and they weren't coming home for yet another 2 weeks, or they dumped you after trying to get your attention and chasing you for 6 years. Whatever. She didn't need any of them.  
  
She blinked hot tears out of her eyes and shuddered at the memory of how she'd clung to Seth and cried all over him. How embarrassing. He was probably laughing right now at how much she needed him when he'd made it perfectly clear he didn't need or want her. It had probably stroked his pathetic little geek-boy ego so much he'd be dialing up Natalie freaking Portman for a date next. She wasn't THAT hot. Just because she was a queen and wore those skintight outfits and long flowy robes and could shoot a laser thingy and kick the bad guy's asses in stupid "Star Wars" movies didn't mean she was cool. And what was all that big-assed crap she wore on her head about anyway? Talk about fashion faux pas. Who cared if she was royalty? NO one should go out in public looking like that. On the other hand, she did get to, like, have her hands all over that Hayden Christensen guy and THAT would totally not suck. Now HE? Was hot. But Queen Portman probably wouldn't get Seth's sense of humor understand his sarcasm and he certainly hadn't liked HER since he was ten, now had he? He didn't name his boat "Natalie's Breeze" either, did he? SHE hadn't helped him bust her suddenly slutty best friend out of the psych ward or lived through TJ with him. Really, Natalie was one impaired bitch if she thought she could get Seth Co-  
  
Summer pulled into her driveway and realized she was breathing the air that crazy people breathed. This is what being around Seth did to her. She was actually having a jealous rant about an actress that Seth would never meet and a fictional character he would only get his hands on in his dreams. God. She needed a drink.  
  
But it didn't mean she still liked him. At all. She hated him. She reasoned it was just because she'd been at his house and it stirred up memories. He'd been sweet and worried about her and grabbed her out of pity when she'd cried. It didn't matter one bit that while she hated him, her body had betrayed her and felt safe when he held her. And had turned traitor by desperately wanting to just go to sleep holding onto him while being smashed up against his lean hard body. It wasn't her fault. She hated him. Definitely.  
  
****  
  
Seth woke up when a pillow landed on his head. He shoved the pillow off and opened his eyes to see Ryan grinning at him from the chair. He looked around quickly. "Where's Summer?"  
  
Ryan sat back in the chair. "What? Was she here?"  
  
Seth fell back on the couch. "No, dude. Must have been a dream or something." He didn't want to tell Ryan she was here because then he'd want to know why and if they were back together and they weren't, and he certainly wasn't going to tell him the reason for her visit and where the hell did she go, anyway?  
  
Ryan stared at him. "Is that why there's two plates of nasty food in the kitchen? Because Summer wasn't here?"  
  
"No, no, actually I - uh - the one egg looked funny and I didn't want it to like, give the other eggs something bad if there WAS something wrong with it, cuz you know as well as I do how things are going around; one day one person's sick then the next day it's 10 more, and the next, on and on - so I put it on a different plate. You know. Just in case."  
  
Ryan nodded slowly. "Right. They're EGGS, Seth, not people."  
  
"I know this. Eggs and people. Not the same. Absolutely." He scratched his head. "You can never be too cautious with one's health. And one's eggs. Learn it, live it."  
  
"Uh huh. So you didn't eat any of them?"  
  
"Tired, you would not believe how tired I was. I thought I was hungry so I cooked but then I had to lie down because I almost fell asleep standing at the stove and oh my god - would THAT have hurt if I'd done a face-plant into the skillet."  
  
Ryan was shaking his head. And obviously not buying it at all. "What's your deal today?"  
  
"Deal? I have no deal. No cards to deal, no deals to make, no big deal."  
  
Ryan raised his eyebrows and stared expectantly.  
  
"All Right! Geez, lower the eyebrows of truth, already. She was here. It didn't go well. It's embarrassing and I'd rather not talk about it." Seth hoped fervently that he'd let it go.  
  
"That's all you had to say. Instead you babble about eggs." Ryan stretched and fell back in the chair. "Did Marissa call today?"  
  
"No. Nobody called. How was the site and architect and stuff? Awesome?" The last thing he wanted to talk about was Marissa.  
  
Ryan's face lit up and he went into detail about the guys and all the stuff they'd showed him and how nice they were to him. They answered every question he asked in detail and let him watch the architect figure and draw up plans and had even let him loose on some plans of his own. Seth had never seen him so excited. The entire time Ryan talked he felt like a traitor for not telling him about Marissa. He would want to know if it was Summer screwing around on him. If they were together, but not the point. His friend looked so happy and stoked, and that pretty much never happened in Ryan's case, and he couldn't bring himself to take that away from him. God knows he hadn't had much to be stoked about the last 16 years.  
  
Ryan turned down a game of Playstation to catch up on some homework, and as soon he left for the pool house, Seth ran upstairs and grabbed his cell phone. Time to call Summer and see which way her mood swing was swinging now. He was guessing she'd freaked and remembered she hated him when she woke up, since she hadn't stuck around. He'd take his chances, though. They had to decide what to do about Marissa.  
  
****  
  
Summer was just unscrewing the top of the vodka bottle when her cell phone rang. Taking a fast look at the caller ID, she shut the ringer off. She stared at the bottle in her hand, then capped it and set it back down behind the bar. Having Coop for a best friend was like living out an after school special. Students of All Ages! Take heed! Drinking away your problems until you're in a coma will result in your friends dumping your ass in the driveway in front of your house. Doing shots at a bar and then discovering your boyfriend vertically dry-humping one of your best friends will result in you downing a bottle of pills, having a near death experience, then coming thisclose to meeting some men in white coats that had a special jacket just for you. It matched the one Lex Luthor had gotten at the end of November sweeps. Whoo, that guy was hot. Wait. So off topic. And of course, don't forget that celebrating the win of that sparkly new crown declaring you "Miss Newport Shoplifter" with a bottle of vodka will result in a drunken scene at a Christmas party, then a near miss at getting your new boyfriend, who incidentally is a good guy that actually cares about you, arrested and sent back to what was it called? She couldn't remember. Um, back to someplace horrible. Where boys were afraid to drop the soap or something. She hoped to God Coop was drunk when she'd decided to do Jake, not because being drunk was an excuse, but because it tied into her after-school special public announcement so well. She loved Coop like a sister, and wanted her to get better and be happy. It was so totally frustrating watching her fall apart and not being able to do anything about it.  
  
The house phone began to ring and she whirled around, watching as the machine picked up.  
  
"Summer, it's Seth. I really need your help with that - that one thing. We need to talk. I hope you're ok. I was kind of - I thought - uh - I was worried when I woke up and you were gone. Call me."  
  
He sounded kind of sad and she had an urge to call him, but then pushed it away. Ryan had probably just kicked his ass at some stupid Playstation game or he'd spilled his milk on one of his beloved comics. She bet he'd cry like an eight year old over either one of those things.  
  
She was painting her toenails twenty minutes later when Seth knocked, then walked through her door.  
  
**** 


	5. Lies5

~Lies-5~  
  
"Cohen! Do you have a death wish?!"  
  
She leveled a glare at him he could feel a blast of heat from. "Summer, just simmer down now. Spontaneous combustion is not a myth, and I'd hate to see that sweet Barcalounger go up in flames."  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing, just walking in like that?!!"  
  
Seth calmly strode across the room and sat down on the couch. "Are you close to a rage blackout, do you think? I read an article about curing a person of sleepwalking by videotaping their actions, and then showing it to them when they wake up. In theory, this should have the same results with your little problem. Do you have a camera handy? Maybe we can cure you. I'm helpful like that."  
  
Through clenched teeth, she hissed at him. "Still. Waiting."  
  
Seth glanced at her curiously. "For a blackout?" When her hands began to shake, he decided to back off. Maybe he could disarm her. "Oh, you mean why did I just waltz through your door? Not that I was waltzing. That's just for Cotillion although I must say I am pretty good at it. Well, here's the thing, Summer. You didn't answer your phones, and I knew if I waited politely on the porch for you to open the door, Armageddon would happen first. Not the movie, the Bible version, although the movie version would work in this case if you edited out the whole saving the world part. Obviously. And Good. Lord. Liv Tyler is hot. She reminds me of you. Or you remind me of her. So. Back to Armageddon. You want to know what my first clue was? Waking up. Alone. Which meant your brief but lovely cruise on the "I-need-to-talk!-even-Cohen-will-do-and-hey!-while-we're-here-let's-take-a- nap-together" ship had titanic-ed and you swam back to the island of "SethSucksAss". I don't know if you can swim, but I'm sure it was a short enough distance that you could wade. However, regardless of your, by the way, justified feelings about me right now, you and I need to discuss the problem between our respective best friends and decide a plan of action."  
  
Summer clenched her fists and tried to decide if duct tape or SuperGlue was a better option for his mouth. Did she have either in the house? "Why doesn't a genius like you get that I don't want to SEE YOU? And by the way, have you noticed the epidemic of people passing out from boredom when you talk? The only thing keeping me awake is the fact that if I move I'll mess up my toenail polish."  
  
"And we would have to declare a nation wide state of emergency, no doubt. But, my dear Summer, you weren't paying attention. I am aware you don't want to see me, which is why I gave you no choice in the matter. By walking into your house. Remember that? I did knock first, though."  
  
"No, Seth, YOU weren't paying attention. I don't want to talk to you or see you and I mean about ANYTHING. That overrules any interest I had in deciding whether to rat out my best friend. I'm staying out of it. Do whatever you want. Now get out of my house."  
  
Seth sat back on the couch and watched her thoughtfully. "Something's going on. Even an ice queen like you can't go from crying about it to not caring in a couple of hours' time. And I know you care about Marissa and Ryan because you were so upset you called ME and came over to talk about it. What's the story?"  
  
Summer snapped and she sprang out of the chair. "GET OUT, Cohen! OUT!"  
  
He obstinately shook his head at her. "Something's up. What is it?"  
  
"FINE! Sit there then. I'll just go somewhere else!" She whirled around and headed through the kitchen for the stairs.  
  
Seth was off the couch and right behind her in a flash. "Summer, you were all torn up about this. Why don't you want to be involved now?"  
  
She stopped on a step and turned to face him, still shouting. "She's my best friend!"  
  
Seth lost his temper. "Yeah, I know! YOUR best friend that's SCREWING around on MY best friend, and I know you think HE'S the best thing that ever HAPPENED to her!"  
  
She stood a few steps above him and was as tall as him now. They were in each other's faces, so close a fraction of an inch movement would result in a kiss. "COHEN, I DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS!"  
  
"Why not! You did THIS MORNING!" She was so ridiculously stubborn it pissed him off to no end. He just had to fall for the feisty, challenging one, didn't he?  
  
"I CHANGED MY MIND!" She burst into tears then. She didn't want to be there, anywhere in the world would be better than here, screaming at Seth and having the favor returned. Being near him and feeling so safe, so incredibly good in his arms today had ripped the lids off wounds she'd convinced herself were packed away in neat tidy boxes. She didn't want to look at him anymore; it hurt too badly. She refused to tell him that, though. She'd already made a complete fool of herself earlier. "You DON'T CARE WHAT I THINK ANYWAY!"  
  
Normally Summer in tears would have him on an instant guilt trip, even if it wasn't his fault. His intense frustration with her and their own drama, plus the entire Marissa mess forced him far beyond that point. "IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK? I CARE A HELL OF A LOT, SUMMER! WHY DO THINK I WAS AT THAT PARTY ANYWAY? I went to find YOU and found YOUR BEST FRIEND getting LAID instead! I wish I'd never GONE now!"  
  
"So tell me then, Seth, WHY DID you go? WHY were you looking for ME? I wasn't GOOD ENOUGH, you don't WANT ME and YOU DUMPED ME, REMEMBER?"  
  
"DAMN IT, SUMMER! That ISN'T WHAT HAPPENED! I wanted -I made a HUGE MISTAKE, I should have picked YOU and I was looking for YOU TO ASK YOU FOR ANOTHER CHANCE!" There was silence as all the heated words cooled and settled around them. He continued very softly. "Begging and groveling were planned; on my knees a totally viable option." Summer's brown eyes were huge and still misty with tears as she stared at him. He'd done that. God, he'd made her cry. He couldn't believe he'd given Ryan shit about girls liking excessive violence. Because the way to a girl's heart was clearly by pissing her off with an unannounced appearance in her living room, following her when she's already mad at you, then screaming at her until you reduce her to tears. Yep. Gotta write THAT one down for the masses. He felt sick and wanted to cry now, too. His eyes were burning with the need.  
  
Seth looked everywhere but at her. "Yeah. So - so that wasn't exactly how I wanted to start that conversation. But it's quite apparent what your answer would have been." He finally caught her eyes. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. And I hate that I made you cry." His hand went to her face and he wiped away a tear with his thumb. "I'm so sorry. I'm - I'm just gonna go."  
  
He went down the stairs as if in slow motion and she watched until he turned a corner and was out of view. Summer heard the front door close, and she sat down on the step, dropping her head into her hands.  
  
****  
  
Seth once again found himself in the driveway not knowing what to do next. He still had no idea how to approach the Marissa situation, and he had a definite urge to avoid Ryan until he came up with something. Which sucked completely. Ryan had offered to listen if he wanted to talk, and Seth wanted nothing more than to unload his devastation and self-loathing regarding Summer on the only person he trusted with it.  
  
Trust. Now there was a fitting word. He'd worked hard to gain his friend's trust and get the emotionally withdrawn guy to open up to him. Was he destroying the thing he valued most in the world, his brotherly bond with Ryan, by keeping quiet about what he'd seen? He would inevitably find out about his girlfriend at some point, if TV and movies were anything to consider as a source of information. Well, for that matter, this was Newport. Every day you heard about somebody doing someone else's wife or husband, somebody doing someone's wife AND husband, or somebody's dad doing their business partner. Ryan would definitely find out and then never speak to Seth again when he learned that his new "brother" knew all along and hadn't said anything.  
  
But was he sure that was the right thing to do? Maybe Marissa had some wildly unimaginable good excuse. People got out of murder convictions by pleading temporary insanity, after all. It wasn't like she'd been making many sane decisions lately anyway. Not that insanity made it ok or was something he thought she'd use as a reason. Besides, she was sane enough to sneak out the back of the house after her copulation collaboration with Jake. If not insanity, could there be another GOOD explanation NOT in the vein of "Sorry Ryan, I fell and Jake caught me with his dick"?  
  
And then there was Summer. Even Jesus and Moses couldn't help him now. He'd really screwed this up and coherent thought vanished as pain flooded him and spilled over, trickling down his cheeks. He leaned his forehead against the steering wheel and let it go.  
  
When it subsided, he remembered the last time he'd cried. Really cried. He'd been, what? 8? 10? Luke and his ever-present goons had just knocked him around and called him names in front of everyone at recess. For the first time, he'd sat up from his position sprawled in the gravel, clothing torn, most of him bruised and bleeding, and looked around through his sobs.  
  
**Usually he would keep his head down as he limped or staggered to the nurse's office, but not this time. Most of the kids were staring at him, smirking at his humiliation; others were ignoring him and most likely hadn't been interested enough in his beating to even watch. Their reactions confused him and hurt as much as Luke's fists, although he might have expected it. After all no one had ever tried to help him the other times this happened. But why? He had never done anything mean to any of them. It made him cry even harder. That was the first time he'd thought that he wasn't like them. He was different and that's why everyone hated him. As he continued scanning the playground, he came to a little girl sitting at the bottom of the slide. She hadn't turned away and wasn't smirking. She was the only one. Her hand was over her mouth and her brown eyes were sad and he thought he could see tears shining in them. She was looking right back at him. Her hand moved from her mouth to catch the long strands of dark hair the wind had scattered across her face. She pulled her hair back behind her ear and smiled at him. A sad little hesitant smile that was FOR him, not making fun of him. He hiccupped one last sob and stopped crying, rubbing the tears out of his eyes. He was right before. He wasn't like the other kids. He didn't want to be like them any more, either. They were all mean and he wanted to be like the brown-haired girl. Someone who was nice to a kid that was beat up and hurting inside too. He wanted to smile at her, but the Playground Supervisor grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet, blocking his view, then drug him along behind her to the nurse. He looked back over his shoulder, trying to see the little girl and smile back at her, but the slide was empty now.**  
  
Seth's cell phone rang and startled him out of his memories.  
  
**** 


	6. Lies6

A/N - Thanks again to those reading and reviewing. Even if you aren't reviewing, thanks for taking the time to read. A/N2 - To Reviewer "kelly" - Dude. You crack me up!! Thanks for all your reviews and I appreciate your suggestions. ( Also, "but hey! O.C.!" and "Death to Anna!!" won my endless respect and love. You rock.  
  
~Lies-6~  
  
I let you get back under my skin, I let you break me down again. I let you get close, way too close But I see through it.  
  
You gave me that smile and I gave in And you knew that I would. Time and time again you pulled me in Just to give me up, give me up again.  
  
~Jonny Lang~  
  
Seth ignored the phone. It was probably Ryan, not knowing he was sitting 30 feet from the house in the driveway for some unknown reason. Well, there was a reason - he was thinking, but mostly he didn't want Ryan to see his unmanly display of tears. He wondered if Ryan ever let loose and cried when he was sure no one was around. No one could blame him, that was for sure, since Ryan's entire life was worth throwing a lay-on-the- floor, kicking legs and flailing arms tantrum over. You're sniveling over a girl and a decision that has to be made. It involved Ryan's happiness, yes, but it wasn't life or death. So suck it up, Cohen. Get over yourself.  
  
The phone had stopped ringing. He scanned the Caller ID. Yep. Ryan. He set it on the seat beside him and it began chirping at him again. He sighed and picked it up. "Hey Ryan. I'm right out -"  
  
"Seth?" A very quiet voice, almost timid.  
  
"Yeah, speaking. - Summer?" He barely recognized her. She sounded strange. His heart twisted inside him like it was trying to escape her voice.  
  
"It's me."  
  
There was an awkward pause. Seth took a deep breath and kept his voice soft. " I'm really sorry about that whole scene. The last thing I wanted to do was fight with you. And I won't do it again, if that's what you're -"  
  
"I don't want to fight. I - I just talked to Coop. You were right. We have to do something, and I can't...by myself. I can come there."  
  
Her voice was still so quiet and lacked emotion. Her normal singsong delivery had vanished. He didn't remember ever hearing her use that tone. "No, Ryan's here. You really want to do this now?"  
  
"Yes. If you don't mind. I know I shouldn't even ask after, you know... but after talking with her, it's killing me. Busting her might actually help her somehow. You know? All the stuff she's been doing? I'm really worried about her."  
  
Seth nodded, then realized that was useless, since she couldn't see him. "Yeah. Me too. I'll be by in a little while."  
  
"Thanks." She hung up.  
  
He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the seat. This was going to be awkward and probably quite painful, since he'd so handily outed his feelings for her at the top of his lungs less than an hour ago. Feelings that she clearly didn't return. He had no one to blame but himself. He sighed and realized seeing her now couldn't be that bad. After all, THIS scenario he was kind of comfortable with - it was exactly how it had been between he and Summer since he was ten, barring a few recent weeks. Just like riding a bike. He'd probably never forget how to do it.  
  
****  
  
Summer slowly washed her face and then ran cold water over the cloth, covering her eyes with it. She was strangely numb inside. While walking through the house to the bathroom she'd felt like she was running on autopilot, not actually processing what she was doing. She sat down in a chair outside the bathroom and let her head fall back, feeling the cold cloth sooth her burning eyes. Two images kept coming to her. One would flow into the other and back again, over and over. Seth wrapped warmly around her on his couch, stroking her hair. Seth standing in front of her, his face red, dark eyes angry and voice raised in a way she'd never heard before. How could one scene turn into the other like that? How did that happen between two people? And how exactly, could a guy that was so pissed off blurt out, still shouting, that he'd made a mistake and wanted her after all? Shouldn't that sort of thing happen in a soft voice when you're tangled up together on a couch, so comfortable with each other you can fall dead asleep in two minutes? It didn't make any sense. It also meant believing what he'd said was an enormous risk.  
  
While denial was something she'd gone pro at early in life, even Summer had to admit now that it would be pretty dumb to keep telling herself she was over Seth and hated him. Clearly that wasn't true since all it took was a phone conversation and seeing him open his stupid front door for the ache to start up inside her gut all over again. When she woke up on the couch today, her hand had traced over his back and shoulder, feeling him beneath her fingers, warm and solid and incredibly comforting. Real. Her head was against his chest and she could hear his heart beating. She was half asleep and blissfully happy until reality hit like a fist to her stomach. He didn't really want to be there with her. He was only doing this out of pity. He wasn't hers any more and what in the hell was she doing? The gnawing ache had erupted into anguish racing through her like wildfire. She could not get that close to Seth. Apparently she hadn't learned anything from her stupid, miserable Thanksgiving and Christmas. She'd fled his house in a panic.  
  
Summer took the cloth from her eyes and proceeded up to her room to put on some makeup. She sat at the vanity and while rummaging through drawers looking for a particular eye shadow she found a date book she'd been given as a gift. Each page had an "Inspirational Passage To Guide You In Love and Life". Whatever. She'd tried to use it but lost interest back in May, never seeing the purpose since she knew precisely where she had to be and what she had to do without reminding herself by writing it down. She'd decided date books must be for old forgetful people who couldn't figure out a handheld PDA, and had shoved it in a drawer. She applied just a little makeup; what did it matter? Seth had seen her at her worst more than once now. On a whim, she took the book out, turning to today's date. A little inspiration and guidance could never hurt on a day as jacked up as this one had been.  
  
"To truly love is to give all of yourself."  
  
Her first thought was; to give all of yourself? Sounded like what folks politely called "putting out" a hundred years ago. Ha. Must have been a man that wrote that one; it was like the original "if you REALLY loved me, you'd do me" manipulation line. Or not, since she was aware a lot of people weren't as jaded as she was for some reason. So, maybe it meant - to keep trying? Give all your love, like be nice all the time? Don't hold back your left pinkie finger or knee? Whatever. She didn't find herself suddenly inspired or guided. She was pretty much tired as hell and had a headache though, if that counted for anything.  
  
There was a knock on the door and she wondered why he could never ring the bell like the rest of humanity? When asked, he'd said he was "making his own statement". Summer rolled her eyes now at the memory just like she had when he'd said it. The world according to Cohen. God help us all. Heading for the front room, she half expected to meet him in the hallway, but no, this time he'd waited outside.  
  
Summer was suddenly nervous as she opened the door, and stifled the urge to say something harsh to cover it. He was doing her a favor by coming back over. She flashed him a small smile instead. "I expected to find you sprawled out on the couch by the time I got down here."  
  
Seth looked up quickly, not sure if her words were a challenge, and very obviously relaxed in relief when he saw her smile. "No, I only break and enter when possessed by evil and forced to do Satan's bidding. And hey, you know what? I have no memory of what occurs while possessed. Isn't that the strangest thing? So. Summer. I haven't seen you since you fell asleep on my couch earlier. I woke up and you were gone, and I just decided that since we fell asleep instead of eating you must be hungry, because me? I'm pretty starved so I brought Chinese. Shrimp fried rice?"  
  
She had to laugh and waved him through the door. Seth put the food on the coffee table. "You are hungry, right?"  
  
"Starved. I was just dreaming about Chinese food. You must be psychic, Cohen." She watched as his face lit up at her words and felt a tug inside. It felt so good to get a reaction like that. Until he pissed her off again, of course.  
  
He looked at her carefully. "You're really tired, aren't you? Park it and I'll get forks and stuff."  
  
She started to protest but he was already in the hallway. And she WAS tired. Why did he have to be so sweet?  
  
He came back with forks, napkins, two cans of Sprite, and a bottle of Tylenol balanced against his chest. He placed it all on the table, opened her can and shook two tablets out of the bottle, handing them to her. "Here. Take these and eat and you'll feel better."  
  
Summer raised an eyebrow and tried not to smile. "What are you, my mom now?"  
  
Seth looked down at himself, turning this way and that, then raised his eyes back up to hers. "Uh, Summer? Unless I'm missing something, and for the love of God tell me if I am, I have no features or um - parts that would suggest I am, ever have been, or ever could be anyone's mother. And the very least of all, yours. SO not what I was going for. Damn."  
  
She got out "What exactly were you going for?" before a giggle erupted.  
  
"Definitely more of a concerned friend thing. A very manly - concerned friend. Type thing. Way to give a guy a complex." He shot her an accusing stare, then sat down.  
  
She took her pills, then smiled at him. He caught her glance and grinned back. Her smile faded. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Dude, it was a joke." He shook his head, still smiling, and dug into his carton of Chinese.  
  
"I'm talking about before." He swallowed, but didn't look at her. "It wasn't ALL your fault. That - fight."  
  
He looked kind of sideways at her and she thought immediately of Ryan. They were picking up each other's habits now. The thought made her smile for some reason; until she thought of how Ryan would take this news they'd been sitting on.  
  
"Summer, I just didn't -"  
  
"I know. I came to you to talk about Coop and then I didn't want to talk anymore. I couldn't, um, I - uh. Look, Cohen. Let's just figure out Coop's deal, ok?" She didn't want to talk about them or her feelings or how much she liked him joking around with her in the living room.  
  
Seth turned to face her. "Please don't get upset when I ask you this. I'm not trying to make you say anything you don't want to here. Don't answer if you don't, you know, want to answer, but you didn't finish something there. You said you didn't want to talk about it anymore, then you couldn't - what? What couldn't you do? Can you tell me?"  
  
Summer scanned his features, so full of guarded concern and curiosity. Ryan had a face you could read like a book, but only if he wanted you to. Seth had the sweetest eyes she'd ever seen. So trusting still, after all of his years of torment, with intelligence you could see a mile away. While not puppy-like, unless he was working it to get his own way, of course, they were just so warm and expressive. Soulful was a good word for his hazel eyes, singing out his every emotion whether he wanted them to or not. The way he'd worded his question didn't make her feel threatened, and she wanted to just fall in there, in those warm sweet eyes and tell him everything he wanted to know. Lay it all out. To her amazement, she actually tried to but it was like her tongue was in a vice. The harder she tried, the more it upset her. She was suddenly tearing up again, eyes stinging, so she drug her gaze away from his. "I can't," she choked out.  
  
She felt his hand on her shoulder, lightly. "You don't have to, Summer. It's ok."  
  
She nodded without looking at him.  
  
"Hey. I believe I gave you a direct order not to get upset, missy. You're not over there leaking, are you? The dam didn't break, did it, or the bridge wash out? Ok. Listen. This is a little known secret men are sworn to keep from women for life, but a girl crying can give a guy a split personality if you're not careful, what with his urge to flee and the urge to hug coexisting in the same space at full throttle. Don't tell a soul I told you that. It could be ugly if anyone finds out I told a female. Let's go ahead and name my other personality before he shows up, ok? Less confusion for you and all. How do you feel about Aragorn? If you don't like that, Legolas would totally work me. Er, for him. Bob? What do you think?"  
  
Summer burst out laughing. "Bob?!! You've completely lost it, Cohen."  
  
"Hey. Look at me, Summer." She turned to him and found a very serious Seth. "Aragorn or Legolas?"  
  
She giggled again at his grave expression. Only Seth. "Which one is which again?"  
  
He sadly shook his head at her apparent lack of obsession. "Aragorn - Human. Kick-ass warrior, fated to claim the throne of Gondor. Legolas - Elf. Another kick-ass warrior. Prince of - "  
  
"The elf. Legolas."  
  
"Just like that? You'd choose an elf prince over a human king?" Seth was astonished.  
  
"In a Rivendell second, baby. That is one HOT-assed elf."  
  
"Well. I am completely heartened by your well thought out and informed decision regarding their strengths and weaknesses, character, and choice of weapons."  
  
She rolled her eyes at him. "Do I need to cry again to get Legolas to show up? I really want him to teach me Elvish. And I'm dying to find out if elf sex if better than human sex. It would have to be, don't you think? Just look at him, I mean. Those sexy ears and that hair and the way he rides his horse. Oh yeah. I'll bet elves do it better."  
  
Seth sucked in an exaggeratedly large breath. "You would just sleep with him? Just like that? Without knowing what his favorite cookies are or who his favorite super hero is?"  
  
Summer cocked her head to one side and regarded him as if he were an extremely slow eight year-old. "Seth. He's so obviously an Oreo man and Gandalf? Duh! Like you wouldn't kick it with Arwen if she so much as breathed your direction, no questions asked."  
  
He lifted his chin and looked away in mock indignation. "I most certainly would not."  
  
Summer snorted. "Riiight. Everyone knows about your Liv Tyler lust."  
  
"Granted, ARWEN is gorgeous. But she's a little too laid back for my taste. Now Eowyn? Feisty, sword-swinging babe? Yeah, I'd be all over that. Definitely."  
  
She leaned over and poked him in the chest with a finger. "Hah! So don't be passing judgment on my elf desire then, dork."  
  
"Deal. Dorkette. I had no idea you were so knowledgeable about "The Rings". I'm impressed beyond words." He admired her, grinning.  
  
She blushed a little. "You don't know everything about me, Cohen." She checked her watch and lost her smile. "I suppose we should deal with the icky stuff. It's getting late."  
  
He sighed heavily. "You're right. Finish eating, then we'll decide what to do."  
  
**** 


	7. Lies7

A/N - Many thanks to "sammy11" for always reading and reviewing. You make my day!  
  
~ Lies-7 ~  
  
Summer fell back against the couch. She was full and the pull of sleep was almost overwhelming now. She forced herself to stand and started cleaning up the leftovers and empty cans.  
  
Seth jumped up. "I can do that. Why don't you sit down?"  
  
"Because if I don't move I'll be asleep again and we'll get nothing accomplished. Again." She realized how sharp her tone was and softened it. "Really, Seth. Relax. You brought dinner. The least I can do is clean up."  
  
"Then I'll help. I'm about to pass out too." They quickly carried everything to the kitchen. Seth leaned against the counter and watched as she put silverware into the dishwasher. "What did Marissa say when you called her?"  
  
Summer gave a short laugh. "I didn't call her, she called me and kept going on and on about how boring it was not being able to leave the apartment."  
  
Seth snorted. "Really? Well, unless "bored" has suddenly become new slang for moaning and gasp - Ooooooh. Ouch. There's that mental picture again. Um, "bored" is not the word I would use to describe how she sounded last night." He noted Summer's lip curled in disgust. "Not that I would know that much about um, sounds, that uh - between two people - well. You think I should stop talking now, don't you? Yes. I think I should too." He was quiet for a moment. "But if it has nothing to do with sounds, can I talk?"  
  
"Yes, Cohen. Come on. I need to sit down." He followed her back into the front room.  
  
"Did you talk to her yesterday?"  
  
Summer arranged herself on the couch, then answered. "Yeah. We talked in the afternoon. Why?"  
  
"Did she know for sure you were going to the party? When I called her she just said you might be there." Seth leaned forward in the chair, elbows on his knees.  
  
"You called her - ? Oh." Of course. Seth had called Coop to find out where she was. Because he'd gone to the party looking for her. Moving on. "Let me think. No, I told her I might go." She looked up at him, understanding flooding her eyes. "But that it would be pretty late if I did. Did you tell her you were going?"  
  
He slowly shook his head. "I told her I wasn't. I changed my mind later on."  
  
"So she thought the party was safe as long as she left before I got there. She showed up, hung out and drank for a while, met Jake in a room later, and. And." She couldn't finish the thought.  
  
He smoothed it over for her. "Yeah. Then that happened. Did she ask what you were doing tonight, by chance?"  
  
"Yeah, she asked if I had plans. I told her I was tired and staying in tonight. Do you think she's going out again?" Summer was getting increasingly worried.  
  
"Well, it sounds like it to me. We can always go find out, if you want." He shrugged.  
  
Summer heaved a sigh. "But how? I don't know of anything going on. Do you?"  
  
He smiled wryly. "No. I'm not on the social list that "hears" about things going on. But, we can check her place and see if she's home."  
  
"Oh. Yeah." Summer got up to get her bag. "Ok. I'll drive."  
  
Seth shook his head. "We should take mine. It's stealthier."  
  
Summer rolled her eyes. "It's as big as a house and this is not one of your covert operations, Cohen."  
  
He stood up too. "Summer. Think about it. Mine is black. Yours is red. Mine fades into the night. Yours? One can see the glow from 2 blocks away and it might as well have a PA system shouting " Hi! I'm Summer's car. Want to go shopping?"  
  
"Ha. So amusing. Except not. Although I have to admit having the only red classic Corvette in the county does sort of give me away."  
  
He nodded very solemnly. "Sort of. Mine then?"  
  
"Whatev. I'm too tired to argue. Let's go, already." She headed for the door.  
  
As they left the house, Seth threw a fist in the air in victory. "Yes! I've cheated death once again!"  
  
She turned and glared. He self-consciously lowered his arm as he opened the passenger side door for her.  
  
"You have a problem with my driving, Cohen?"  
  
He shut her door and got in his side. "Of course not. I have no problem with it as long as I'm not in the vehicle. Or on the same stretch of road as you." She reached across and hit him. "Ow! Back to your side and buckle up, violent girl. Need I remind you what happened last time you argued with the driver of this truck?"  
  
"No need. But we're not moving right now so it's perfectly safe for me to beat the crap out of you." She smiled sweetly at him.  
  
"Do you know how disturbing that is? Do you? That you look like an angel while threatening me with violence? How's a guy supposed to sleep at night?" He started the truck and pulled out.  
  
She was quiet so he glanced over to make sure she wasn't advancing for the kill. He had to do a double take. She was staring at him wide eyed, tears brimming. He pulled the truck over to the side of the road and stopped. "What? Summer, what happened? Did I say something wrong? It was a joke!"  
  
She shook her head and looked away, embarrassed. "You didn't. Just drive, Seth. I'm really tired and a little over-emotional today." He started to say something and she talked over him. "Please. Let's just go. I'm fine."  
  
Shrugging, he pulled out again.  
  
Summer closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The only other person that had ever said she was an angel was her now usually absent father. She'd been little but never forgot it. After being punished for stomping her foot and yelling back at her nanny, her father had come home and found her sobbing in her room. He'd wiped her tears and, always aware of her looks even then, she'd asked if she looked ugly after crying. He'd smiled down at her. "No, no, no. You look like an angel, Summer." She'd sat up on the bed and told him that nanny always called her a "little devil". Her daddy had crouched down in front of her. "She might see a little devil, but I'll always see the angel in you." Little Summer had hung on to those words for a long time, until it became obvious that her father didn't really see her at all anymore. She was like a ghost in the house to him, even on the rare occasions that he was home.  
  
That was just like Seth though. He didn't think twice about what he said. While she felt the need to keep things inside, he would just say what he was thinking, good or bad. She envied him.  
  
They turned down the Cooper's street and Seth slowed as he came to their apartment building. "I don't see any lights, but then we can only see the one room from here."  
  
Summer sat up. "Go around to the parking lot and see if her Jeep is there."  
  
They drove around the building and cruised the lot. No Jeep. "Maybe her dad has it?"  
  
She shook her head. "His car isn't here either. Pull in somewhere. I want to go look in a window."  
  
"Well now we know how she's getting out. There's no one babysitting. Wait. Did you just say you wanted to invade someone's privacy by being a peeping tom?" Seth pulled into a parking space and shut off the truck, dimming the lights.  
  
"No, Seth. I'm just going to go look in my best friends' window to see if she's home. Now wait here."  
  
"Sounds a lot cooler my way. More dangerous." He took the keys out of the ignition. "I'm coming with." She shot him a look that made him jerk his hand away from the door handle like it was on fire. "Or not."  
  
"I'll be right back. Don't move." She opened the door and got out while he muttered about being the stealthy one that had lots of practice.  
  
True to her word, she was back very quickly. "There's no one there. No lights, no TV. Maybe she's with Ryan." She had a hopeful tone in her voice.  
  
Seth didn't think so, but it wouldn't hurt to make sure. "We'll go by the house. Summer, you know it doesn't make anything better if she is with him tonight, right?"  
  
"Yeah," she replied sadly. "But in my head it might mean she hasn't completely lost it."  
  
He turned back onto the main street. "Do you think anyone else knows? Did Neelander tell you in front of everyone, or say everyone had seen them?"  
  
"No. He actually pulled me away from the crowd. He thought he was the only one that saw them because almost everyone had gone out to the bonfire on the beach. I don't think he'd tell everyone either. He had a huge crush on Coop a while back and still likes her. I got the impression he's worried about her too."  
  
Seth ran his hand through his hair. " All right. I was kind of scared someone else would tell Ryan."  
  
"Is that what you want to do, then? Tell him?"  
  
He quickly thought of her feelings toward Marissa. "What do you want to do? Would you rather talk to her first? I just can't pretend like it didn't happen. Sounds like the easiest thing, but I can't do it."  
  
"I know. I can't either." There was a pause. "I think Ryan needs to know." She looked sadly out the window. It hurt like hell to say that out loud.  
  
He reached across and grabbed her hand. His words were soft. "Are you sure? You don't want to talk to her first?"  
  
She watched the beach race by in the moonlight. "No. It wouldn't do any good. She straight up lied to me. She even told me what movie she was watching tonight while stuck at home." Turning to Seth, she wiped away a stray tear. "Did you know I knew she liked Ryan more than Luke all along? She told me everything going through her mind when she was deciding between the two of them. I know more about Luke and Ryan than anyone, I'll bet. We used to tell each other everything about everything."  
  
He squeezed her hand. "It's going to be ok, Summer. She just needs a little more help than everyone thought, and then she'll be back to her old self again."  
  
She tried to smile. "I hope so."  
  
They pulled into Seth's driveway. Marissa's Jeep wasn't there. "Let's see if Ryan's here. Maybe he went with her somewhere."  
  
They got out and she followed him into the house. Seth quickly walked through, and with no sign of Ryan , he looked out the windows of the sunroom at the pool house. No lights. He turned to her. "I'm going to go see if he's asleep. He was up really early this morning to meet some of the guys that work for mom. Summer, if he's here, I'm going to tell him. Ok?"  
  
"I'll come with you. You don't have to do this by yourself."  
  
He nodded, grateful for her support. This was not going to be easy at all.  
  
They walked outside and he tapped lightly on the glass door. He opened it and stuck his head inside. "Ryan? You here?" He tried to see through the dark if there was anyone in the bed and jumped when a voice came from another direction.  
  
"I'm here." Ryan sounded exhausted.  
  
Seth followed the voice and found his friend. He was sitting in a chair, outlined against the soft light reflecting off the pool.  
  
"Seth, if you don't mind, I don't really feel like talking right now."  
  
"Everything all right? You ok, dude? Look, I really kind of need to talk to you." Something was wrong here.  
  
Ryan sighed. "I'm fine, man. Everything's good. Really. I've just got a lot on my mind and need to think. We'll catch up tomorrow, I promise."  
  
His tone of voice left no room for discussion, so Seth backed out slowly. "Totally cool. G'nite."  
  
He shut the door and followed Summer along the sidewalk to the driveway. They got in the Range Rover, and he headed back to Summer's house. "So that was weird."  
  
"Do you think he already knows about Coop?"  
  
Seth shook his head. "Ryan wouldn't lie to me. If something that bad happened, he would at least tell me things were screwed up, even if he didn't want to talk about it. He knows I wouldn't pressure him."  
  
Summer watched him drive thoughtfully. "You guys are really close friends, aren't you?"  
  
He shook his head. "More. In my head I'm aware someone other than my mother gave birth to him, but the rest of me doesn't feel it. He's my brother in every way. I'd do anything for him." He glanced over at her quickly before returning his eyes to the road. "That probably sounds stupid, but that's how it is. I can't explain it."  
  
She smiled softly at him. "It doesn't sound stupid at all. It sounds really great. I'm glad for you. And him."  
  
"Thanks." He pulled into her driveway and looked over to her. "Are you going to be ok?"  
  
"As soon as I get some sleep. I do feel better now that we made a decision, though. That was kind of haunting me." She gave him a half smile. "So would you call me tomorrow before you tell him? I want to - I think I - I should be there too." For you. Why couldn't she just say that? Seth, I want to support you because I know how hard this will be for you and that it's probably going to kill you to break his heart. Say it!  
  
He looked surprised. "Summer, you don't have to."  
  
"I know. I just want - " Damn it! Why couldn't she say it? "Call me, ok? Before. I'll come over." He seemed to understand. She hoped.  
  
"If you insist. What time will you be getting up? I don't want to wake you."  
  
"Don't worry about it. Just whenever you're ready. And thanks for dinner. And coming back over." She smiled and got out.  
  
He watched until she got inside and locked her door, moderately shocked. She must be awfully tired. She'd just thanked him, twice, and told him not to worry about waking her up. Waking Summer up was punishable by death, even when they'd been dating.  
  
****  
  
Summer reached her bedroom and flipped on the light. She caught a glimpse of herself in the vanity, and crossed the room to sit down, staring intently at the dark haired girl in the mirror. What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she say what was on her mind to him? That was something she'd always admired about Seth. He was so open, willing to put it all out there, not caring if it made her mad. His refusal to let her always have her way when they were together had made her respect him. His not allowing her to take advantage of his feelings for her own purposes had intrigued her. He was so different from the idiots that would kiss her ass in hopes of getting a piece of it.  
  
But yet he was able to give compliments and show how sweet he was and how he cared. He had no problem at all talking about how much Ryan meant to him. And even tonight after that horrible fight they'd had he'd been kind and thoughtful with her. She bet he slept easily at night, never tossing and turning because unsaid thoughts and emotions were clashing violently in his head with the ones that had actually come out of his mouth. She could express only the bad. Talking about the good feelings was usually beyond her.  
  
Then there was her polar opposite, Coop. She would never confront anything bad that was bothering her, instead glossing over her problems with big smiles and "I'm ok. Nothing's wrong." Along with gallons of vodka. She'd rather be miserable in silence than argue with someone or stand up for herself. Look where that had gotten her now.  
  
Was she headed down the same road as her best friend? The thought sent fingers of ice through her heart.  
  
"To truly love is to give all of yourself."  
  
The date book was still open where'd she left it. That quote made perfect sense to her now.  
  
She had really WANTED to tell him it hurt too much to wake up with him, and that was why she ran away and suddenly didn't want to talk about Coop, but couldn't get it out. She wanted to be there when he broke the news to Ryan. She hadn't been able to tell him she was worried about him.  
  
And the reason was: Summer, you are scared to death. It will HURT if you are rejected again. He got the first real chance you gave anyone after your father betrayed you. Even though he told you he wants you back now, you don't want him to know that you still care. Easy enough to figure that out. So what to do about it? Just because the reason was a conscious thought in her head now didn't mean she would be able to miraculously say everything she felt in beautiful, eloquent words. That only happened in Disney cartoons and soap operas.  
  
The empty page of the date book lay before her, blank and unused. She looked longingly from it to her bed. She might as well try it; she probably couldn't sleep anyway. The only time she'd slept well lately had been - with Seth. Maybe writing it all out would help somehow. She picked up a pen.  
  
**** 


	8. Lies8

~ Lies-8 ~  
  
Somebody ought to take you in, Try to make you love again. Try to make you like the way they feel When they're under your skin.  
  
From what I've seen You're just one more hand me down Cause no one's tried to give you what you need. So lay all your troubles down I am with you now.  
  
~ matchbox twenty ~  
  
Seth's head was about to explode he was so confused. Ryan knew how to pull his chaotic thoughts together into something resembling a logical outlook on things. He was used to having him to talk to, and they'd barely spoken at all today. And what a weird day it had been. Summer had called him out of the blue and somehow he'd ended up going to sleep happily in her arms. He'd gone to her house and made her cry, left, and she'd called him back again. There had been no mention of "them", even after his "announcement" on the stairs in the middle of a screaming match. He rolled over and took up his usual position, staring at the ceiling. But she'd been pretty nice and they even had a few "moments" tonight. What did that mean? Anything? Nothing? This was all about Marissa, right? Or was Summer softening towards him?  
  
And how was he going to tell Ryan that Marissa was doing someone else? Well, for starters, NOT in those words. The guy was just getting his feet underneath him after a horrible summer, starting to open up and think about a life beyond what he'd been limited to by his own family. How was this going to affect him? Seth was sure telling him was the right thing to do, he just didn't know how to do it. Maybe it would be best to simply tell him what he'd seen at the party. And then run, in case Ryan wanted to kill the messenger.  
  
He sat up and took off his t-shirt, knocking Captain Oats off the nightstand. Reaching over the edge of the bed, he picked him up, apologized, and turned on his side. To make up for the horse abuse, the Captain got to share the pillow. This was the same position he'd fallen asleep in on the couch today. Maybe it would work now, too. He lay there a moment and it became clear that the plastic horse looking indifferently at him from the pillow was absolutely not going to work as a replacement for a warm, soft, curvy, clinging armful of sweet, sassy, gorgeous girl. Not even close.  
  
****  
  
Seth woke up and looked around, disoriented. He'd slept so hard he wasn't sure where he was for a minute. When he got his bearings back, he glanced over at the clock, shocked to find it was noon already. He got up and padded down the stairs in his robe and was almost to the kitchen when a voice stopped him in his tracks.  
  
"Nice hair, Cohen. I like the robe, too."  
  
"Hey. M - Marissa! Sitting on my couch. Huh. How about that? Marissa's here." While looking around quickly for Ryan, he pulled his robe closed and tied it, since he was only wearing boxers. She was smiling impishly at him, obviously in good spirits. He probably would be too, though, if he'd gotten as much play as she had this weekend. "Begging your pardon, because it's always lovely to see you, but aren't you - like, grounded?"  
  
"Oh, my dad sent me on some errands, so I thought I'd come by and surprise Ryan."  
  
"Indeed. How thoughtful of you. Where is the boy wonder, anyway?" Ryan was nowhere to be found.  
  
"He's out in the pool house, taking a shower. I came in to watch TV. He should be here in a minute."  
  
"I see. Well. A shower is next on my list also. Can I get you anything before I go? Soda? Orange juice?" A scarlet M to wear on your chest?  
  
"No thanks, Seth. I'm fine." She turned back to the TV and he fled up the stairs.  
  
Grabbing some clothes from the bedroom, he went to get cleaned up. While in the shower, he wondered what to do now. He'd planned on calling Summer, and as soon as she showed up, having the dreaded conversation with Ryan. He wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. Marissa showing up put a serious crimp in his plans. He let out a sigh. He'd just have to wait until she left. He finished in the shower and put on his jeans, then started with his shirt as he went back to his room. With his shirt half on and half off, he felt for the doorknob, closing the door as he went through. He pulled his shirt down as he crossed his room, stopping in his tracks once again. Summer was sitting on his bed. Smirking.  
  
"Don't tell me the problem with your clothing was all mine, Cohen."  
  
He went to the window and looked out. "Is there a blinking neon sign in the front yard that invites all passing by to wander in and make themselves comfortable? Did I miss that?"  
  
"Ryan let me in. Now quit whining and at least say hi." She had her impatient face on.  
  
Seth shook his head. "You magically appeared in my room. You say hi first." He waited for her to snap at him. Instead she looked pleased. He backed away from her a little.  
  
"I suppose I do owe you an explanation. Oh yeah. Hi Seth!" She was smiling and bubbly. He waved two fingers at her and wondered if stress had turned her brain a little bit jell-o-ish.  
  
She patted the bed next to her. "Come sit down and I'll tell you the deal."  
  
He walked over and sat, watching her warily. "Did you get any sleep? Are you feeling ok?"  
  
"Yes I did. I slept till ten. I feel so much better today. How about you?" She smiled at him again.  
  
"I just got up actually. I tripped over Marissa downstairs, came up and took a shower, and here we are." Since when did she care how he slept?  
  
"Ok. Here's the deal. I got up and kept waiting for you to call, and when you didn't, I was worried that you were going to talk to him by yourself, or that whatever he was upset about last night was really bad. So I decided to just come over and see what was going on. I wanted - uh, yeah." She suddenly seemed a little unsure.  
  
"I was going to call you, I just slept in. Then Marissa was downstairs." He watched her thoughtfully. "It's really nice of you to be so concerned about Ryan."  
  
She dropped her eyes to the floor. "Yeah. It's going to be tough on - um, him." She continued without looking at him. "Oh hey, by the way, when I saw Coop's car, I wasn't going to stop, but Ryan was out by your truck and saw me. And I had to make something up to explain me being here so Itoldhimwe'rebacktogether."  
  
Seth turned his head in an attempt to get his ear closer and hear better. "I'm sorry. What did you just say?"  
  
"I told Ryan we werebacktogether." The painting of a boat on the wall was suddenly fascinating to her.  
  
"Oh-kay. And Marissa?" Seth wouldn't let the smile tugging at his lips appear. "What did you tell her?"  
  
Summer looked down and out of the corner of her eye at him. "I didn't want to be stuck down there with them, so I sorta growled on the way through saying you were supposed to call me earlier and didn't and now you were up to your ass in trouble."  
  
He nodded, pressing his lips together to keep from cracking a smile. "My ass, huh? That's interesting."  
  
"Shut it, Cohen. You seem to be enjoying this a little too much." She frowned at him.  
  
He grabbed her hand and pulled her up off the bed. "Summer, Summer, Summer. I haven't begun to enjoy it yet." They got out into the hall, and she dug her heels into the carpet.  
  
"What the hell are you doing? I thought we could just stay in your room till she left!"  
  
He put his hand over her mouth quickly. "Shhhhhh. You don't want them to hear, do you?" She glared at him. "Summer darling, I am so thirsty. We need to get a drink from the kitchen, don't you think?" He whispered in her ear. "Now play nice when we get downstairs."  
  
He tugged her down to the living room, where she plastered on a smile and followed him willingly into the kitchen. Ryan and Coop looked up from their conversation and she waved halfheartedly at them. Seth led her to the refrigerator and opened it. "What would you like, Summer?"  
  
She jerked her hand out of his. "My HAND back!" she hissed at him.  
  
He pulled her into a hug and talked quietly in her ear. "I don't know why you're so mad. YOU told them we were back together."  
  
She whispered back. "Just to get in the house, you idiot. I planned on not coming out of your room till Coop left." His smirk infuriated her and she stomped on his foot.  
  
He closed his eyes and let out a strangled "ouch", but didn't let go of her. When he opened his eyes again, she was returning his smirk.  
  
"I told them you're in trouble. We're supposed to be fighting, remember?" She whispered, trying to pull away from him.  
  
"Yes, actually I did, but I was hoping you wouldn't." His eyes flicked from her face up over her shoulder and suddenly he was kissing her, holding her closer. Her first instinct was to pull away, but then she heard someone coming into the kitchen behind her and one of Seth's hands was in her hair and she was dizzy and confused. She instinctively leaned into him and her arms went up around his neck. She relaxed into it, kissing him back, and she didn't care if anyone else was in the room, she didn't care if they were on stage in front 10,000 people; she'd forgotten how his lips felt on hers, and how the muscles in his back felt under her hands, and how his fingers tracing across her back sent shivers streaking through her. How could she ever have forgotten? Their tongues met and explored and someone moaned very softly, probably only loud enough for them to hear.  
  
There was a cough behind them, and Seth pulled away, glaring at Ryan over her shoulder. She dropped her forehead against his chest, dazed, just like those girls she always made fun of in those books.  
  
Ryan spoke softly. "I'm REALLY sorry, man, but - " He gestured at the refrigerator, and Seth looked around at it. The door was still open, and they were standing directly in front of it, blocking all access.  
  
"Oh. Sorry dude." He led Summer through the kitchen to the family room on the far side of the house.  
  
He turned back to her, bending to kiss her and twining the fingers of both hands into hers as their palms met. He broke the kiss and backed up, their eyes locked on each other, bringing her with him to the couch. He sat and pulled her down next to him. His arms went around her and he kissed her again, gently lowering her back onto the cushions. He slid on top of her and buried his face in her shoulder.  
  
Summer couldn't think. She didn't want to. She was lost in his eyes and his hands and his mouth, and the feelings of sweet tension and utter peace swirling through her. He slid on top of her and she held his head to her shoulder, running her hand across his dark curls and tracing patterns on his back with the other.  
  
His voice was low. "God, I've missed you."  
  
His words snapped her out of her dream world and back to reality. She tensed up. "What are we doing? You don't have to pretend, they can't see us now!"  
  
He raised himself on one elbow and looked down at her, confused. "Summer, calm down. I'm not pretending. I told you I wanted you back, and that's as real as it gets. I thought - when you kissed me back - I thought you wanted that too."  
  
This time she let herself fall into his warm, sweet eyes. She relaxed under him and took a deep breath. "I do, but -" The words wouldn't come.  
  
His eyes flooded with relief. "You do? Really?"  
  
She nodded. "But I -"  
  
His eyes went flat. "But you can't?"  
  
There was shouting and a scream, then they heard a door slam loudly in the house. They looked at each other, equally freaked, and ran for the living room.  
  
No one was there and Seth quickly spotted Ryan in the hall, leaning against the door to the bathroom, his eyes closed. Summer saw him then, and they both hurried toward him.  
  
"What's goin' on, man?"  
  
Instead of answering, Ryan turned and knocked on the door. "Come on, Marissa! Open the door and we'll talk! We have to talk about it!"  
  
She didn't answer, and Summer stepped up to the door. "Hey, Coop! Why don't you let me in and we'll talk. You can tell me what's going on and we'll figure it out." She shot a questioning look at Ryan and mouthed "What happened?"  
  
Seth whispered to her to keep talking to Marissa. She did, and he pulled Ryan away from the door and down the hall. "What happened? C'mon Ryan. Is she all right?" For just a second, he could see the stricken expression in Ryan's eyes before he looked down.  
  
"I don't know. She flipped. I didn't want this to happen. I thought she was better. I didn't think she'd lose it like that." He raised his eyes to Seth. "I didn't know."  
  
"Ok, buddy. I believe you. We all thought she was better. Now why did she flip? What happened?"  
  
Guilt filled Ryan's face. "We broke up. I - I broke up with her. She started saying all these things and now I wish I hadn't. I never dreamed she'd -" he raised a hand toward the bathroom "- act like this."  
  
"What things? What was she saying?" Seth grabbed his arm to get his attention again.  
  
"That I never loved her, and it was all just a competition with Luke, and I just used her. She said now that I'm used to being here, I don't need her anymore. That I just used her to pave my way into Newport society. I didn't do that, did I, Seth?"  
  
Seth had never seen Ryan so torn up. When his mom had left, everyone knew he was falling apart, but you rarely if ever saw it. Over time he'd opened up, and he showed his feelings sometimes. But never like this.  
  
Seth was doing a slow burn, and it was quickly becoming too hot to handle. The bitch had a lot of nerve laying a guilt trip on Ryan after what she'd been doing. He took a deep breath and reminded himself she was ill. It didn't help much.  
  
"Here's a news flash for you, Ry. I know you love her, it wasn't a competition, you never used her. And neither one of us are "into Newport Society". They don't accept us, just sometimes tolerate us." He grabbed Ryan by both arms. "Listen to me, dude. You haven't done anything wrong. She's trying to make you feel guilty, and it's working. Don't let it happen. Anyone would have dumped her after what she did." Seth started down the hall. Summer was still trying to talk Marissa into opening the door.  
  
Ryan nodded, staring absently at the wall. He suddenly focused, and he grabbed Seth's arm. "What do you mean, what she did?"  
  
His eyes got wide. "W-What she did? Why, exactly did you break up with her again, Ryan? Why?" Oh God. What just happened? Seth was horrified.  
  
Ryan's face was stone. "She lied to me today. Again. And because I've been thinking about a future. Mine. She's better, but she still reminds me of my mom. She'll lean on me as long as I let her, and she'll never get completely well. I want to concentrate on my future, not take care of her. Not until she learns how to do it herself. I DO love her, but, I can't do this." His voice broke, and he looked away.  
  
"And what did she lie about?"  
  
"I thought about breaking up all last night. I still wasn't sure, and then she showed up here today, saying her dad had sent her to run errands. That was the end for me."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Jimmy's out of town until tomorrow. Sandy told me. He's been gone all weekend and she never said a word. I didn't think too much about it. I just figured she was doing her time, still grounded whether he was home or not. Now. What were you talking about?"  
  
"She - she didn't tell you about the party?" Ryan stared at him. "Right. She didn't tell you." Seth put a hand on his arm. "Maybe we should go sit down. I think that's a good idea."  
  
"Damn it, Seth, I don't want to sit down! Just tell me!"  
  
Ryan was about to explode. Seth thought fast. How was he going to do this? He'd had it all worked out. "Ok, buddy. Remember when I wanted to talk to you last night? And you didn't want to talk? Well, this was going to be the topic. You know I went to that party to look for Summer. To beg for another chance like you told me to?"  
  
"Get to the point, Seth."  
  
Seth thought he might throw up. He closed his eyes. "I saw her there. With another guy." He opened his eyes to see how Ryan was taking it. Nothing had changed. Still stone.  
  
Ryan shook his head. "It could have been someone that looks like her."  
  
Seth's voice was soft. "I'm sorry, man. I made sure. It was Marissa." Still no change on Ryan's face.  
  
He looked down, then back up at Seth. "Doing what? With who?"  
  
Seth shook his head. "Dude, it doesn't matter."  
  
"It does to me. You're my brother. Please." Very softly.  
  
Things got blurry as his eyes filled. He blinked until they cleared, holding Ryan's gaze with his own. He felt someone take his hand. Summer. "Ryan." He swallowed hard. "She was in bed with Jake."  
  
"You saw this?"  
  
Seth nodded slowly. "I saw it. I'm so sorry."  
  
**** 


	9. Lies9

A/N - Some rough language in this chapter.  
  
~ Lies-9 ~  
  
It was quiet. Seth swore he could hear the ticking of a clock that was four rooms away. He felt acutely ill and just wanted to take it all back, turn back time and erase everything he'd done since Friday afternoon, starting with going to that party. He was even willing to lose the maybe-reconciliation with Summer, if turning the clock back would take that haunted look out of Ryan's eyes. He wasn't really focusing on anything, and Seth had an uneasy feeling, really more of a psychic intuition that Ryan was reliving a lifetime of betrayals and abandonment. And tacking a fresh ending onto his mental film clip.  
  
Summer squeezed his hand, and they glanced at each other. Her eyes were misting, and just then Ryan leaned back against the wall and slid down it.  
  
Summer knelt next to him, and he let her hold him. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. Come here, baby. Come here." Ryan's eyes focused on the here and now finally, and he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her waist. She hugged him and he swallowed hard, then embraced her tightly.  
  
Seth was shocked that he'd accept any comfort, but glad to see it happen. Maybe it meant something since it was coming from Marissa's best friend. After a long moment, Ryan gently pushed Summer away and stood up. Seth put a hand on his arm. "Are you ok? I know, outrageously stupid question, but for now anyway?"  
  
Ryan shook his head slowly. Seth looked down and saw his shaking hands clench into fists. Not good. He started talking fast. "You know, I'm not sure - um, Ryan, you know Marissa hasn't been making such good decisions lately. Maybe, maybe this doesn't really have a whole lot to do with you. You know what I mean? Like, she loves you but she's kinda messed up in the head right now?"  
  
"Seth. Don't. Bad decisions and fucking around are very different things." His voice was low and flat, and Seth could see the muscle in his jaw clenching.  
  
"Just try to calm down, ok? Ryan? Ryan. Listen to me. Shoplifting and vodka as the newest handbag accessory were bad decisions. That's probably what this was, too. In the sense that she's, she's just kinda losing it, you know? " Ryan had the same expression on his face as right before he hit Luke the last 6 times, and Seth was getting that sinking feeling that things were about to get ugly.  
  
"All the other shit she's done has been to get her parents attention, and I've been there for her. Every time. This? Is directed at me." Ryan's voice broke in the last sentence and he struggled for control again, running a hand through his light hair.  
  
Ryan was right, in Seth's opinion. Cheating on the person that saved you time and time again, put up with your crap and still loved you made a very different statement than the other stunts she'd pulled. And from what Seth had seen and heard, she knew exactly what she was doing in that bedroom at Neelander's house. He wasn't sure what to say next. "Maybe not, dude. Look, I'm just trying to keep you from swinging. Ok? You're not gonna, like - "  
  
"I'm not hitting anyone. Or anything." He breathed in deeply. "I need some air." He turned and walked up the hall.  
  
Summer hugged Seth as they watched him turn the corner. "Oh my God, this is so awful. He'll be ok, won't he?"  
  
Seth held on to her tight, still feeling guilty for causing his friend even more pain. "Someday. He's dying inside, but that minute there was probably all we'll see of it. On the plus side, he's getting better at controlling his anger. Three months ago he would have used his fists to ventilate the wall by now. I did the right thing, didn't I? Telling him, I mean? They're not together now, anyway, maybe I shouldn't have. The look on his face; I might as well have Buffy'ed a stake through his heart. I feel so bad."  
  
"Wait. They broke up? Just now? She told him about Jake?"  
  
Seth let out a bitter laugh. "No. I thought that too, but he ended it for other reasons. That's what set her off. Ryan thought she was well enough to handle it. Obviously, she's not."  
  
"Oh my God." She reached up and placed a hand on the side of his face. His head angled slightly and he pressed his cheek into her fingers, then kissed her palm. "Coop caused this, Seth, not you. You had to tell him; he had a right to know. Put yourself in his position. Wouldn't you feel worse if your best friend knew and didn't tell you?"  
  
"Yes. And definitely yes. " He sighed heavily. "Let's go see if Marissa will come out." They walked down the hall toward the bathroom, breaking into a run as they saw the open door.  
  
Summer slid around the doorjamb into the room. "Coop? Coop!" She pulled the shower curtain back and looked behind it, feeling like she was in a horror movie. "Seth, she's gone!"  
  
"She must have run out the other way while we were talking to Ryan." Seth saw Summer was very near panic and tried to calm her. "Look, maybe she calmed down. She could be just fine now. She can't leave anyway; your car is blocking hers."  
  
They faintly heard a car start up and looked at each other, wide-eyed. "Summer, that sounds like -" " - My car! Seth, she knows where the hide-a-key is!" They both took off at a dead run for the front of the house.  
  
Summer fell out the door directly behind Seth, and ran into him when he suddenly slid to a halt in front of her. They both caught their balance and she followed his gaze. "Oh no. Oh God. OhGodohGodohGod!! Seth!?!" She started to run and he just managed to catch her arm.  
  
"Stay here! Summer wait a minute!" Absolute panic DID seem like the most appropriate response right now, but he had to stay calm for her sake. Ryan was at the end of the driveway, directly behind Summer's car. Marissa was gunning the motor and shrieking out the driver's side window at him, and he couldn't understand much of it through her sobs. All he caught was "out of the way!" and something about Jake. Ryan was shouting that he wasn't letting her leave while she was so upset, and to get out of the car.  
  
"We can't just STAND here!" Summer kept fighting to get away from him.  
  
"Calm. Down. I know we can't." He pulled her back against his chest and spoke evenly in her ear. "But we can't go jetting out there, either. It might freak her out even more. Take a deep breath for me... One more. Good girl. Ok. Walk up to the car and try to talk to her, but do NOT get too close. Don't get anywhere near the front or the back of the car. I don't want you hurt. You understand? Can you do that?" She nodded quickly and walked toward the end of the driveway. Seth wanted to follow but thought his presence might confuse Marissa even more. Summer had a better chance of getting through to her by herself.  
  
Summer had no idea what to say to the out-of-control girl. What DID one say to your best friend who was completely losing her shit in front of your eyes? Yo Coop! Got my nails done. New color with sparklies, wanna see? Or maybe this. Hey Coop! Guess what? I really really really like Seth, but my head is so messed up I'm terrified to be with him. Uh huh. Either of THOSE would convince Marissa to not flatten Ryan like a pancake. Right. And SO not the best time for messed-up-in-the-head conversations. "Coop! Hey what's going on, sweetie? Look over here and talk to me for a minute." The passenger side window was up and Summer wasn't sure if she'd heard her.  
  
Marissa started backing up in short bursts, causing Ryan to jump back to avoid being hit each time.  
  
"Coop! Hey! Come on now. You don't want to do that! You might hurt him! Now isn't the best time for a drive. Turn the car off and we'll talk about stuff!" Ryan and the back bumper of the car were almost to the stone pillars at the end of the driveway now.  
  
Seth had begun yelling at Ryan, telling him to get out of the way. Summer crossed in front of the Corvette. She needed to get to the driver's side to make sure Coop could hear her, but not make any sudden moves near the window. Her friend was crying and talking to herself, wiping away tears. She was clearly not all there anymore. "Hey Coop. You don't want to leave. You really don't. Just turn the car off and we'll go somewhere quiet. Come on, Marissa. That's it. Look at me. We should go talk. I really need to tell you something. I need a girl-to- girl talk and you're the only one I can do it with."  
  
Seth was about to have a heart attack, fidgeting around, not knowing what to do. He had a horrible feeling of impending disaster. Ryan was behind the car, and now Summer was way too close on the other side. She kept talking to the distressed girl, and finally Marissa looked up and seemed to see her. She didn't appear to answer, he couldn't hear, but Summer smiled and talked some more, slowly inching closer to the driver's side.  
  
Ryan took action while Marissa was distracted by Summer, running to the driver's side window and reaching across her to grab the key out of the ignition. He fumbled, couldn't find it and Marissa bit his arm viciously and floored the gas pedal. The car shot back into the street and she turned the wheel just in time to avoid the ditch on the other side. Summer and Ryan both sprinted after it in a panic as Seth stood frozen, watching in horror. Marissa shifted from reverse into first gear, popped the clutch and killed the motor. Ryan sped to the passenger side and ripped open the door just as she got the car started again. Summer got to the driver's window and hysterically pleaded with her friend to stop as Ryan slid into the seat, trying again to reach the key in the ignition.  
  
Marissa jammed the gearshift into first and floored it again. Tires squealed and the car fishtailed; the rear end shooting off to one side and striking Summer. She was thrown back to the side of the road and slammed into one of the stone pillars, bouncing off of it and dropping like a rag doll. Marissa corrected the slide and just barely got the car under control, roaring off down the street.  
  
Seth was suddenly running in slow motion. It was only a short distance to the end of the drive, but it felt like miles. That couldn't have just happened. No. Not possible. But yet she was crumpled in a heap near the base of the pillar. Motionless. So still and pale. It was eerily quiet right here, in this spot at the edge of the road. He wondered idly if there was a little circle of silence around Summer, and the birds were still singing everywhere else in the world. No, that didn't seem right. The birds were heartbroken and wouldn't sing anymore. That's why it was so silent here. He couldn't breathe, and everything was shimmering around him; he could see waves and ripples in the air as a slight breeze touched him and danced by. All he could do was stare at her through the wavering air; she was so beautiful and broken. He told himself to wake up. This had to be a nightmare. He shut his eyes tightly, and opened them again hoping to God that he'd be in his room and it was Sunday morning and time to call Summer. No bedroom. Still at the side of the road. Not a dream. Phone. Need to call for help. His brain clicked back into gear. He reached for his cell phone, swearing as he remembered he hadn't picked it up off his nightstand before they came downstairs. It seemed like a lifetime ago he'd been holding her in the kitchen feeling her warm body pressed against his, soft curves under his fingers; his heart filled with hope by her sweet response to his kisses. He kneeled and reached out to brush long dark strands of hair out of her face, then felt carefully for a pulse, releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding when he found she had one. He hated to leave her there, but moving her was out of the question and he had to get to the phone now. He apologized to her and promised he'd be right back.  
  
He ran inside and dialed 911 in the kitchen. It seemed to take forever as he blankly gave them details of Summer's condition and the address, and then remembered to give them a head's up on Marissa's state of mind and the car she was driving. God, Ryan was in the car. Seth started praying that the cops could stop them before another disaster happened. The entire time he was on the phone his stomach was churning, picturing Summer outside all alone and hurt. What if she woke up while he was in here? She'd be so frightened. He didn't even want to try to picture where Ryan might be. Could Marissa drive safely while having a breakdown? Rodney Road Ranger would say the outlook was grim. Was Ryan all right? Could he talk sense into Marissa? The dispatcher finally let him off the phone and he raced into the living room, grabbed the throw off the back of the couch, then sprinted back outside to Summer.  
  
She wasn't awake. She looked paler. He made sure she had a pulse again, covered her with the blanket and lay down next to her in the street, trying desperately to remember if there was something else he could do for her. He knew he could hurt her worse if he moved any part of her body. From what he could see, there weren't any obvious cuts or heavy bleeding, so he thought maybe that was a good thing. She was lying partly on her side, and one of her arms seemed to be twisted unnaturally beneath her, so it was a safe bet it was broken. He was mostly worried about internal bleeding and head trauma. He realized he was going to make himself crazy going down the let's-pretend-I'm-a- doctor road, and vowed to never watch ER again. She could be fine, just - knocked out. That happened to football players all the time, right? No big deal. A little concussion, three days off and all's right with the world. She'll be fine. Ryan's fine. The two people he cared about most in the world besides his parents were fine.  
  
What time was it? Why wasn't the ambulance here yet? He checked his watch. He'd called three minutes ago. Why did it feel like three hours? It HAD to be longer than three minutes. His mom and dad should be home any time now. They'd probably think he was insane laying in the street. No matter, he wasn't moving. She was in the street, so he would be too. He was protecting her from passing cars and he needed to be there with her, at her level. He wanted so badly to hold her, or at least cradle her head on his leg. His beautiful girl should not be lying on a warm asphalt road; the sight was obscene to him. The urge to touch her overwhelmed him and he very gently stroked her cheek. Her skin was so soft. He'd read that many people heard doctors and family members talking to them while unconscious. And didn't Emily hear Nikolas talking to her while she was in a coma on General Hospital? Maybe he should talk to Summer, in case she was scared and thought she was all alone.  
  
"Summer? You're going to be ok. Help is on the way. Some things might hurt when you wake up, but it'll be all right cuz they'll give you drugs that will make your step-mom green with envy. But I promise you're going to be fine. I'm going to stay right here with you. Everything's going to be good. Can you hear me? Maybe you can. God, how did this happen?!. I never want to see you hurt again, you hear that, missy? I - I can't take it, seeing you like this. Next time let ME get hit by the car, ok? It's my turn and I insist. God, I don't know where Ryan is or if he and Marissa are ok." Surely it wouldn't hurt to take her hand as long as he didn't move her arm. He sat up and gently held her free hand in both of his. "I'm right here with you, Summer. I'm not going anywhere." His voice broke and dropped to a whisper. "Please wake up. I need you." He was quiet for a moment as he dried tears on the shoulders of his shirt. "You have to wake up because we have to finish our conversation. Remember on the couch? We were in the middle of getting back together when this happened. I'm pretty sure. You said you did, but - something. You were letting me kiss you, and I'm taking that as an immensely positive sign. Anyway, you have to know that I lied to you when I said I just wanted to be friends. If you don't know, then I'm telling you right now. I want so much more than friendship with you. And in case you're wondering, only you. Please forgive me? I know I've hurt you, but I swear it won't happen again. Wake up. Please wake up. Even if you just want to be friends. We'll argue and bicker, all right? You can call me a dork and I'll call you a princess. You have to be ok. Please? I'm so scared, Summer." He raised his head and searched the blue sky above. "God, please let her be ok. Please let Ryan be ok, and Marissa."  
  
The ambulance finally rolled to a stop beside them and he got to his feet. A police car followed a minute later. The police questioned him about the accident while the EMT's checked Summer over. The cop had no information about the red Corvette. They transferred Summer into the ambulance and made Seth get in the front next to the driver. He spent the ride to the hospital twisting to look back between the two front seats, watching anxiously as the medic took care of her.  
  
**** 


	10. Lies10

A/N - I'm sorry I teased you all with the quick updates before. I had 2 days off for Christmas and was able to knock out chapters pretty quickly. Please be patient with me. And thank you all for commenting. I love hearing what you think.  
  
A/N - I have no knowledge of any medical personnel behaving in the manner I've written in this chapter. I mean no disrespect and am not implying that any would break the rules, if in fact, these actions are wrong. It's fiction, people.  
  
~Lies-10~  
  
One of the EMT's stopped at a door inside the ER, as the gurney carrying Summer and the emergency team following it continued on. "Sorry, Seth. End of the line. You can't go in here with her. I know it sucks, but that's the way it is."  
  
The ambulance driver always attempted to distract ride-alongs on the drive to the hospital. He had tried to ease the lanky kid's tension by getting him to talk about the girl and details of their relationship. Seth never took his eyes off of her or the medic treating her, but when pressed, he'd haltingly delivered the short version of his long romantic pursuit, then loss, and latest attempt to win back the injured girl in the back of the van; also describing their friend's breakdown that resulted in her injuries. Seth had unloaded his fears and worry about his missing brother and the troubled girl he was trapped in a car with, and the driver felt awful for the kid. He was 10 years older but still had memories of the horrors of being a teenager. All this to deal with and no parents around. Who said rich kids had it easy?  
  
"Look, just go to the waiting room and try to relax. They'll probably bring you some papers to fill out, since you're the only person here with Summer. It's gonna seem like forever, but the doctor will come out and tell you as soon as they know something about her condition. I'll make sure they know her parents aren't available and neither are yours just yet, so they'll give you the information." He winked at Seth and lowered his voice. "I've got connections here, kid. The doctor on duty is my wife. And I'll keep an ear on my radio. If I hear anything about the red Corvette I'll try to get a message to you. Can you handle it if it's bad news?"  
  
Seth thought for half a second, then nodded. "I want to know, even if it's bad. Thank you so much, Dave. This - all this is really cool of you. Uh - thank you."  
  
"No problem. Now try to relax, everything's gonna work out." A voice came through some static on his radio, and he turned it down a little. His partner came out and told him they had another call. "I gotta go. You take care, Seth."  
  
He nodded and looked around for a pay phone. He spotted them outside the waiting room and headed down the hall to call his parents. He debated a moment, then dialed his father's cell phone. When he answered, Seth determined that they were still on their way home and his father was driving.  
  
"Ok, Dad? I need you to pull over. Get to the side of the road." Seth didn't need any more trauma involving cars today.  
  
"All right, son." Sandy knew by his tone of voice that Seth wasn't playing around. He pulled over, shrugging at Kirsten's questioning look. "The car's stopped, Seth. What's happened?"  
  
"I'm at the hospital with Summer. To make a long story short, Marissa flipped out, and was trying to take off in Summer's car. Ryan got in with her to try to get the key out of the ignition and Marissa took off, hitting Summer. So I don't know where Ryan and Marissa are, or if they're all right. Unstable is too kind of a word for Miss Cooper's state of mind right now."  
  
Sandy's face went white, and Kirsten felt her heart sink. Whatever Seth was saying had to be very bad to put that look on her husband's face.  
  
"She hit her with the car? Is Summer ok?" Sandy was having a hard time processing this.  
  
"I - uh - don't know. When the car hit her, it - it knocked her into one of those pillar things at the end of the drive. She wouldn't wake up... I couldn't wake her up, Dad. She looked so -" Seth swallowed hard and Sandy knew he was trying not to cry. "I'm scared."  
  
"I know, Seth. I am too. We have to think positive thoughts about all three of them. Are Summer's parents aware of what's happened?"  
  
"They're out of the country and I have no idea how to reach them. Can you guys call Marissa's Dad?" Seth didn't think he had the stomach to tell Jimmy what happened. Everyone had believed Marissa was getting well. The guy couldn't catch a break lately.  
  
"We'll take care of it, son. We got a late start, so we're still a few hours from home. We'll come to the hospital as soon as we hit town. Let us know if you get any word on Ryan and Marissa, ok? Hang tough, kid."  
  
"I'll try. See you soon." He hung up and walked to the waiting room. There was only one other person there, a middle aged man staring blankly at the news on the TV. Seth guessed the blank look was because the volume was so low you could barely hear it. He sat down and grabbed a magazine, leafing through the pages and realizing he was seeing nothing on them. He glanced over to the man again in solidarity.  
  
An idea occurred to him and he dropped the magazine, rising and searching the hall for the reception desk. "Excuse me. Has anyone else been brought in recently? My brother is - well, it would have a male and a female both 16, possibly injured in a car accident."  
  
The nurse pulled up a screen on the computer and shook her head. "No, sir. No one of that description has come in."  
  
"Thanks for looking." He was relieved to know they weren't hurt, but still in agony not knowing what had happened to them. He told himself Ryan was strong, and if anyone could get through to Marissa it would be him.  
  
"Are you Mr. Cohen?" At Seth's nod, she continued. "I need you to fill out these forms for Miss Roberts. There may be several things you won't be able to answer, but just do the best you can, then bring them back to me. Ok?"  
  
Seth nodded again and took the clipboard back to the waiting area. Apparently the nurse wasn't aware that six years of unrequited adoration and a few weeks of actual dating left a guy with vast amounts of personal information discovered here and there and committed to memory. As long as they didn't want to know female-ish stuff, like when her last period was, he was pretty sure he had the paperwork under control. A wave of nausea rolled through him and he leaned back in the chair with his eyes closed until it passed. He absolutely could not give into his fear or tension and break down. He had to stay strong for Summer, and whatever happened next with Ryan and Marissa. He continued filling out the forms and when finished, took them back to the desk. "Has there been any word on Summer? Do you know how she is?"  
  
She shook her head and looked at him with pity. "I'm sorry, I don't. The doctor will be out as soon as she can, though."  
  
"Yeah. Thanks." As he headed slowly back to the waiting area again, Seth was thinking the doctor had taken plenty of freaking time and needed to be making an appearance with some news pretty damned soon. The urge to shove his fist into a cement hospital wall was growing with each second that ticked by, and despite the pain he knew that little maneuver would cause him, it STILL sounded like a truly splendid idea. Another revelation he could to relate to Ryan with. He settled in the chair and leaned back against the cool wall again, closing his eyes. Instantly he saw the silent image of Ryan's shoulders and blonde hair disappearing from view as he lowered himself into the Corvette. Just like he'd hit a play button, the image faded into Marissa's terrified uncomprehending face as she pushed the gas pedal to the floor. Unable to stop the inevitable progression, that picture dissipated into one of Summer, the car sliding too quickly for her to even acknowledge it, being struck and flying in slow motion to hit the pillar with sickening force. Summer, lying unmoving and pale as he'd run to her, each step he took bringing him closer to the fact that she may be dead. Beautiful, vibrant, sarcastic, wounded and sweet Summer, gone. Nothing left but her twisted, broken body lying in sharp contrast against the dark asphalt road.  
  
He opened his eyes, trying to rid himself of that image. He leaned forward with his head in his hands and blinked water from his eyes.  
  
"Good Lord, that's a horrible crash. My Mary was just in a car crash too. I've been waiting an hour to get some word on how she is."  
  
Seth looked up quickly at the other man in the room with him, and followed his gaze to the TV. There was a "Breaking News" banner at the bottom of the screen, and shaky video of a wrecked car upside down and on fire, two others scattered nearby with terrible front-end damage . He was across the room in an instant, turning up the volume. The local newscaster informed his TV audience that eyewitnesses told of a red sports car speeding through a red light earlier, at a busy intersection, then being hit in the driver's side by oncoming traffic. Five people had been removed from the scene by ambulance, no word yet on any of their conditions. The newsman gave alternate routes to take as the two roads had been closed, and he would update his audience on the story as details came in.  
  
"Are you all right, son? You don't look so good." The man got up and grabbed Seth's elbow, guiding him back to a chair. "Is that why you're here? You're with someone that was in that wreck?"  
  
Seth was in a daze and slowly shook his head no, staring straight ahead. "M- my girlfriend was hit by the car. I brought her here." He lifted his eyes to the TV screen. "My brother - our friend was driving. Ryan was in that car with her."  
  
"You stay right there. I'll be back with a glass of water for you." The older man ran out of the waiting room as Seth nodded absently.  
  
He was back a few minutes later with a nurse. Seth was staring straight ahead, expressionless with silent tears coursing down his cheeks. The nurse looked back to the man. "What happened?"  
  
"They just showed video of a car crash on the news, and if I understood him correctly, his brother and a friend were in one of the cars that wrecked. And his girlfriend was hit by a car earlier. The girl that just came in?" He pointed down the hall. "He lost all his color and started shaking. Poor kid's having a rough day."  
  
The nurse put a hand on Seth's shoulder. "You've had too many shocks today. Would you like to lie down until you feel better?"  
  
He turned his head, looked at her hand on his shoulder, and his eyes slowly traveled up her arm to her face. He took a deep breath and forced himself to focus. "No, thank you. I'll be ok." Keep it together, Cohen. Be strong for everyone else. You're going to have to tell your parents about the wreck now. Summer might be awake and need you. A bottle of cold water appeared in front of his face, and he took it gratefully. "Thanks." He turned to the nurse. "Do you know of any way I can get details about the accident?"  
  
"I'm sorry. I can't help you with that. Are you sure you wouldn't like to relax for a little while?"  
  
"No. I'm ok now. Thanks, but I'm sure you're needed elsewhere more than here." He was not being truthful; he was far from ok, but he didn't see the point in lying down. Everything would still be the same. She smiled at him and left.  
  
"Mr. Johnson?" A doctor was standing in the doorway. The man he'd been sharing the waiting room with got to his feet. "That's me. Good luck, son. I hope everyone is ok." Seth nodded and watched him leave.  
  
"Seth Cohen?" A stranger was in the doorway now.  
  
"I'm Seth Cohen." He looked up, puzzled.  
  
"This is for you, then." The man stepped in and handed him a folded piece of paper.  
  
He looked at it and back up, thanking the guy but he was gone already. He opened the note.  
  
"Seth - The Corvette was involved in a collision. Your brother will be ok." It was signed "Dave".  
  
Seth let out a long breath. He had forgotten about the ambulance driver, Dave, saying he'd try to let him know if he heard anything. Thank God. Ryan was ok. Actually, the note said he would be ok. Did that mean he was hurt badly, but would live? And did the fact that he didn't mention Marissa mean she wasn't ok? Or wouldn't make it? Stop it. Think positive. Didn't his dad say that? Be grateful for the news about Ryan and don't jump to any conclusions.  
  
"Mr. Cohen?"  
  
Seth looked up again and jumped to his feet. This lady was dressed like the doctor that had just been there, and he was assuming this was Dave's wife. "I'm - uh - Seth. Cohen."  
  
"I'm Dr. Mead. Have any parents arrived yet? Miss Roberts', or yours?" She seemed too young to be a doctor, and was very pretty. Also very serious.  
  
"No, ma'am. Summer's parents are out of the country, and mine are still on their way here. Is she all right?" Seth could barely breathe; he was so worried about what she would say.  
  
"Who is she staying with, then? Does she have a legal guardian?"  
  
"She stays by herself mostly. Her father and step-mom are usually always gone on business. There's a housekeeper during the day I think. No legal guardian."  
  
The doctor shook her head and came into the waiting room. She motioned Seth into a chair and sat next to him. "I'm breaking approximately 643 rules by talking to you instead of a family member or guardian, but these are extenuating circumstances. Miss Roberts will be fine. She's suffered a dislocated shoulder, broken arm, bruised ribs and hip, and a concussion. From what I understand of the accident, she's a very lucky girl. Apparently she absorbed the impact with her arm and shoulder. If she'd hit her head, well, we wouldn't be talking right now."  
  
"Why was she unconscious? I couldn't wake her up."  
  
"She's still not conscious, but none of our tests found anything to indicate that will be a permanent condition. She did hit her head when she fell to the pavement, but that impact wasn't nearly as hard as the one with the pillar. That could be the cause, or it could be that the pain was just too much. The body protects itself by shutting down sometimes in circumstances like these. We need to make her comfortable and she'll wake up when she's ready. Trust me." She smiled at Seth. "Have you heard anything about your brother?"  
  
Seth sat back in the chair. "Yeah. The car he was in wrecked, I saw it on the news. Your husband sent me a message saying Ryan would be ok." He looked down at the floor, then back up at her. "I'm really grateful, to both of you. Thank you."  
  
She stood up and pretended to look bewildered. "Don't thank me. I never told you a thing, right?"  
  
He nodded. "Right. While you're not telling me anything, could you not tell me if I can see Summer now?"  
  
"We set her arm and "relocated" her shoulder, if you will, so she'll be going up to a room as soon as they finish casting her. We'll be keeping her for observation and to make sure there's no internal bleeding. It might not be apparent right now. Someone will come and get you when she goes to a room."  
  
He thanked her again, and she left him with a squeeze on the shoulder. Seth went back to the payphones and dialed his father.  
  
"Dad? Where are you guys now? I've got some news."  
  
"We're almost there, Seth. We've been trying to call you. Where is your cell phone?"  
  
"At home on my nightstand. Look, I heard Marissa wrecked the car, but Ryan's going to be ok. Why are you calling me?"  
  
"That's a helpful place for your phone, son. I was trying to call you because WE heard that Marissa wrecked the car, but Ryan's going to be ok. Ryan changed the emergency contact number in his wallet from his mother to us, so the authorities let us know what's happening. Is Summer ok? Have you heard yet?"  
  
"She's pretty messed up, but she'll be ok. I'm waiting for them to take her up to a room. Did they say anything about Marissa?"  
  
"No, they wouldn't give us that information. They'll call Jimmy and Julie. Jimmy's trying to catch a flight out of Denver, and Julie's in Italy with Caleb, though. How'd you find about Ryan, anyway? Did the ER doctor give you information about Summer?"  
  
"I made a connected friend who has a wife in high places. Are you guys coming here?"  
  
"You WILL be explaining that later. They took Ryan and I'm assuming Marissa to a different hospital. We're waiting for Jimmy to call us. As his attorney, I can be responsible for Marissa until he gets here."  
  
"I got you on that one, Dad. I'm nobody's attorney, but I'm responsible for Summer now. There is no one else."  
  
"Well, I guess you're handling things there, then. I'm proud of you, son. I'll make some calls, and we'll put her under our care too. Are you going to be ok there by yourself for a while?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm good now, except for not knowing about Marissa. Don't worry about us; take care of Ryan and Cooper. Just call me with details about them as soon as you can. I guess they'll page me. I don't know what Summer's room number is yet."  
  
"We'll track you down. Talk to you soon."  
  
Seth hung up and made his way back to the waiting area. He felt infinitely better knowing Summer and Ryan were ok, and as much as he hated to admit it, talking to his father had helped a lot also. It was like connecting to home base after spending a week exploring a completely foreign planet. Or something equally weird, like maybe spending a week underwater talking only to fish. Or spending the day wondering if three people you cared about were dead.  
  
A nurse came in and told him they were transferring Summer to a room now, if he'd like to follow. Seth decided that was a fairly stupid thing to say, since obviously he'd like to follow. Did she think he'd been freaking out in the waiting room for the last two hours because he wasn't interested in seeing her?  
  
He bit his tongue and trailed along after the caravan, thankful when they finally reached a room and wheeled Summer in. He stayed out of the way, against a wall while they slid her onto the bed, fiddled with her IV, and wrote things down on a chart. They showed him how to work the call button and the TV, and he thanked them brightly as they filed out, then collapsed in a chair. He was exhausted and realized he hadn't eaten today. He watched her breathe for a few minutes, torn between the need for food, and his need to be there with her if she woke up. He finally went to the nurse's station, where he was told she would probably sleep through the night. He asked for directions to the cafeteria, and as soon he rounded a corner and could no longer be seen by them, he ran through the hospital. Just in case. She might wake up earlier. And truthfully, he didn't want to be anywhere but with her, whether she was awake or asleep.  
  
He got some food to go, and raced past the gift shop, slid to a halt, and backtracked through the door. He scanned the shop, then moved quickly through it, picking up things and depositing them on the counter. He tapped his foot impatiently while the nice old lady that didn't know any of the prices ambled over to her associate and they discussed it at length. They finally wandered back over, and one rang up his items, while the other bagged them. Seth was proud of his restraint, as he'd wanted nothing more than to jump up on the counter and bellow at the top of his lungs for them to shift their ancient asses into a gear faster than peanut butter's. He thanked them sweetly and sprinted back through the hospital to Summer's room.  
  
He closed the door quietly behind him. She was still asleep. He ate, and when he was done he pulled the chair up next to her bed. She had a scrape on one side of her face, and a bruise was coming through on the cheek. He lifted the sleeve of her gown, and her arm was already a solid purple above the cast. Her other arm was scratched and scraped, and he wondered what her side looked like. The bruised ribs and hip must have been from where the car hit her, if the pillar had broken her arm. It sickened him to see her so damaged; he felt so bad for her, and he quickly reminded himself to be thankful she was alive.  
  
The phone rang, and he answered it quickly, watching to see if it woke her. It didn't. It was his mom, with news about Ryan. He had a broken ankle, was burned on his hand and arm, and a concussion. He had lost consciousness, but not until after he'd pulled Marissa out of the burning car and away from it. He woke up at the hospital and had spoken with she and Sandy briefly before falling asleep. He was worried about Seth, and didn't know Summer had been hit until they told him. The news about Marissa wasn't so good. Two cars had hit her side of the Corvette, and she was in pretty bad shape. She'd been in surgery for hours and they were still waiting for the doctors to come out and talk to them. Would he be all right there for a while longer?  
  
"Mom, I told Dad you guys don't need to worry about us. Stay there and take care of them, they need you there. I'm fine here. I don't want to leave, she still isn't awake, and I don't want her to wake up alone. If they kick me out, I'll sleep in the hall. If Ryan wakes up, tell him I'm glad he's ok and - you know. That I love him. Call me as soon as you know anything about Marissa...I love you guys, too. Bye."  
  
He sat forward in the chair and took her hand, being careful of the IV and her scrapes. "I'm still right here with you, Summer. They're gonna have to drag me out of here to get me to leave you. Ryan's ok, isn't that good news? He's worried about us, can you believe that after what he just went through? We're still waiting to hear about Marissa. They're at another hospital, and Mom and Dad are there with them. It's just you and me, sweetheart. I'm gonna stay here and take care of you. You just sleep, and I'll be right here when you wake up." He was so tired. He lowered his head to rest on the blanket next to her for a minute, and when the nurse came in later to check on Summer, he was asleep, still holding her hand.  
  
**** 


	11. Lies11

A/N - This chapter takes a dark little turn and contains some disturbing subject matter. It's not graphic and it won't be in the future. I hope I don't lose some of you because of it.  
  
A/N - You guys reviewing are the bestest. Thank You!!! Also, passages marked with ** should be in italics, but after trying everything I can think of a million times, I can't get them to transfer from the original document during the upload. [throws hands in air dramatically] I give up.  
  
~Lies-11~  
  
**The black rushed up and swallowed her whole, sucking her transparent body into the void. She fell through stars in peaceful silence; trust reflected back into space from her eyes as it flickered and glowed around her, dancing by so intimately. Touch was forbidden but essential to resist endless freefall. She grasped gently, slowly for it and observed as it slid between her fingers in long drops of doubt. Both naïve hands pursued for a capture between them but it flowed gracefully around her wrists. She offered both again, palms up, and flickering light merged from everywhere into clusters that fused, manifesting in a glowing, radiant ball. It hovered over outstretched fingers, and as it settled into them it dimmed, finally fading again to the black.**  
  
Drifting in this sparkling mist was quietly satisfying to her, and she was saddened when it was fragmented by a dull ache. Mist sailed away in long thin wisps, no longer holding her aloft, and she felt pressure on her back. Indistinctly understanding she was in bed, she opened her eyes to see shadows. She was in a dimly lit place; unfamiliar. Her first languid thought was of a hotel room. She wanted to draw on the notepad by the phone like she did all the other times Daddy took her places with him. She reached for it and the dull ache sharpened. Her eyes lowered and took in a cast on one arm, a flimsy gown covering her, and a rail up on one side of the bed. A part of her knew she should panic, yet it was so tranquil here. Quiet and safe with her hand in his. He'd been watching while she'd been floating. Was that Daddy? She eased her hand from between his and slid her fingers across dark curly hair lying next to her hip. So soft. Not Daddy, Seth, which pleased her immensely. Why was he down there? A distant sense of his chest hard against her cheek, their arms and legs tangled together comfortably slowly spun by her, then was gone. She watched lazily as he lifted his head, looking around to get his bearings. His face turned toward her and she smiled; his eyes sang elegant and enchanting things when they touched hers. They sang only for her, and it moved her to tears.  
  
****  
  
Seth raised his head again. Every little noise woke him and he'd been up and down a hundred times, making sure she was ok, watching the nurse every time she came in, and in general getting very little sleep. He looked up at her, and she was watching him with glazed eyes and a soft smile curving her lips. He held her gaze, so grateful she was awake and overcome by his intense feelings for her. She began to cry, silent drops trailing down, and he sat up in his chair, then rose and pulled a knee up next to her, perching on the edge of the bed. "What? What happened? Do you hurt? Is there pain?"  
  
"It's you." Her tears stopped.  
  
"Yes. Yes it's me. It is I. Is that what made you sad? Do you, uh, want me to go?" Her smile had thrown him, he wasn't expecting that. He assumed she would be in pain and frightened and was oh so very prepared for that. Smiling, THEN crying was not in his mental file folder of possible scenarios for when she woke up. He checked his watch. 4 a.m..  
  
"No! Don't leave me." She began to shake her head and hissed in a breath at the pain it caused. She looked questioningly at herself and then back to him.  
  
He winced with her. "Ooooooh. That stung, didn't it, sweetheart?" Her actions and tone of voice were decidedly childlike. He lifted her small hand from the bed onto his knee and covered it with his own. "You have to be careful and not move very much, ok? You had an accident, Summer. You don't remember?"  
  
"It hurts." she answered softly. "Where else will I hurt, Seth?"  
  
"Do you remember the accident?" He was almost hoping she didn't. She was obviously on a pretty good buzz and the longer that lasted for her, the better.  
  
"No. Where else?" She took his hand and pressed it to her cheek, eyes widening as it came in contact with a purple bruise.  
  
"Well, there for starters. You want me to show you?" If she wasn't going to let it go, he might as well tell her.  
  
She giggled. "I'll show you if you show me." She winked at him, grinning wickedly while sliding his hand down her cheek and closing her lips over his little finger.  
  
Seth blinked several times and swallowed hard, then cleared his throat. "H- How about if I just show you, for now. Where it will hurt, I mean. You know. That." He very carefully pulled his hand back.  
  
Summer considered that. "Ok."  
  
"You'll have a bad headache because you hit your head." His hand passed over to her shoulder. "Here. This shoulder will hurt. It was dislocated." He continued lower, pointing to her arm in the cast. "Right here, also. It's broken." His hand crossed over to the side he was sitting on, and he drew a line in the air from above her hip to under her arm. "All this will be painful too."  
  
"Why there? What happened?" She grabbed his hand with her free one and pulled it to her side. "That doesn't hurt."  
  
It didn't hurt? Good drugs. "Maybe not now, but it will when you move." He would ignore her question about what happened. "Your ribs and hip are bruised."  
  
"Show me."  
  
"Ah - ah - Summer, you know what? I don't think that's a very good idea. Maybe you can look at that later on, ok?" The only way she could see her side was if she pulled the open-backed gown around and up. He tried not to think about the smooth skin under the gown, and the fact that she was wearing nothing else. Holy insensitive, Cohen. She's injured.  
  
"I want to see!" She tried to push the covers down, but the effort to move forward made her inhale sharply. Tears welled up. "Help me? Please, Seth? I want to see."  
  
Seth's head dropped back and he searched the ceiling for some kind of miraculous intervention. A strangled groan escaped him. "A little help here? God? You DO see that this incredibly beautiful girl is so toasted she's flirting with me and begging me to help her remove her clothes, right? You see that happening? This is just cruel if you're doing it on purpose." He looked back to her and now she was crying. He so hated the crying. It turned him to mush. "Summer, please. D - don't do that. Stop now. Everything's cool. No more crying... All right! I'll help you." He muttered under his breath. "And I WILL just look the other way." The gown doesn't have to go that far over, anyway. Just up a little until the hip is visible. No problem.  
  
He pulled the blanket and sheet covering her down to her thighs, being careful not to disturb her arm in the cast too much. She tried to slide the gown from underneath herself, but didn't have the strength. "Let me do it." He grabbed the bottom of it, and began to pull. "Tell me if this hurts and I'll stop, ok?"  
  
She gave a tiny nod and smiled at him. He paused, struck by her innocent, trusting gaze. Turning his attention back to her gown, he continued to pull gently at the bottom until it finally slid from under her leg. Holding the bottom hem down to keep her covered, he ran his other hand up the side, pulling it from under her as he went. "You're all set. Look all you want now." He turned away, his eyes falling on the bags from the gift shop. He needed to get things out for her.  
  
"Oooooh! Pretty colors. Look, Seth. I'm pretty colors!"  
  
He sighed. She wouldn't think that was so awesome tomorrow. He felt her take his hand again, tugging on it with what little strength she had. "No, no, no. I'm not looking. I help, you look - that was the deal. That's just for you to see, Summer... You and the doctor," He added quickly. He would really rather she NOT lift her gown and show everyone in the hospital her pretty colors while heavily medicated. Or anything else. That didn't make him a possessive boyfriend, did it? Hell, were they even back together? And why was he thinking about this, again? It had nothing to do with anything. He decided to blame it on lack of sleep. He was incredibly tired.  
  
All senses went on full alert as her hand firmly guided his to her hipbone, pressing his fingers lightly against it. Against sleek, naked, Summer skin. With no gown covering it. Naked. His brain overrode hormones and won the battle against turning to look. He suddenly couldn't breath, given that his hand, either of them for that matter, had never been this close to that dangerous territory. No, his hands generally stuck to the familiar, routine and acceptable areas of the female anatomy like the back, arms, sides, and once across a flat stomach. And he could count on one hand how many times the others had happened. Whether he breathed again also depended on which direction said hand went next. He knew he should pull away, but was utterly powerless to do so at this moment in time. She was childlike and drugged, but she was still the Summer he'd always known and he likened touching her to drinking from the Holy Grail. He took in a lung full of oxygen as his hand was innocently guided in a northerly direction. She lightly pressed his fingers against her again as they slowly moved up her side. "You shouldn't be doing that. Doesn't that hurt your pretty colors?" He was still looking away, but now closed his eyes.  
  
"No. I like your hands. They make me feel better."  
  
Well, what was a guy supposed to say to THAT? She wanted his hand on her because it made her feel better. Yeah. Who was he to take it away and make her feel bad? His fingers slid slowly across a smooth expanse and changed direction again, being guided up a slope of the softest skin, brushing gently across a hard nub. She moaned softly and he came to his senses, snatching his hand from under hers and coloring with embarrassment. Whoa! Forgot about THAT dangerous territory. He had easily let her convince him he was helping her, and he admittedly loved the feel of her under his touch, but he had not meant to feel - that. He consoled himself with the thought that he hadn't looked, anyway, and hoped she wouldn't remember this. His ass would be so many kinds of kicked if she remembered later. "I need you to pull your gown back over now, ok? Summer?" He felt carefully around for the side of it and pulled it back over her, then turned his head. Oh shit. The look on her face. Sadness, humiliation, confusion and betrayal were all present and accounted for and it broke his heart.  
  
He reached for her and she pressed herself back into the bed like a trapped animal, trying to get as far away as she could. She was frightened. Of him. Her bottom lip was quivering, and a tear spilled down her cheek. Again. The two personalities she was displaying since she woke up did not belong together and it was weirding him out. She was happily childlike but quick to cry like she needed a nap, with a side order of bold seductress. Definitely disturbing.  
  
"You don't like me. I did something wrong." She spit it out like a 7-year- old that knew she was in trouble.  
  
Confusion ruled until he realized what she was upset about. "Nonono, that's not true. I pulled my hand away because I did something wrong. Because I DO like you, and I was wrong. Ok? You understand? I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I didn't mean to. I was wrong, not you."  
  
She eyed him with distrust for a few seconds then she softened. She wiped away a tear with her good hand. "I like you too. I think I don't tell you that very often. I should tell you every day."  
  
His mouth opened, but nothing came out. It snapped shut again. He reminded himself she was drugged and it didn't mean anything, but warmth spread through him anyway. "Can I hug you? I'll be careful, so I won't hurt you." She smiled and he shifted position, leaning over her and sliding an arm around her good side. He kissed dark hair, and whispered into her ear. "You don't have to tell me unless you feel like it. I know you like me now." He pulled back and she was suddenly curious.  
  
"What did you do wrong, Seth?"  
  
He inwardly cheered. If her short-term memory was anything to gauge by, she wouldn't remember the Open Gown Incident at all. He was saved from The Mighty Wrath of Summer. He imagined he could hear thunder in the background whenever he thought or said that. "Um, I shouldn't have touched - you, like that. Remember when you made my hand move? Like that. It was wrong and I'm really sorry. I promised to take care of you, not take advantage of you."  
  
She nodded a little, knowingly. "You're not like Daddy. He never said he was sorry."  
  
Hairs on the back of his neck stood up. "Wha-what? What about Daddy?"  
  
She giggled. "I like you most. You made it ok." She found his hand and happily slid her fingers through his.  
  
Seth spoke very quietly. "What did I make ok, Summer? Tell me."  
  
She looked at him as if he were stupid, rolling her eyes. "The touching."  
  
His stomach lurched. "Daddy touched you and didn't say he was sorry?"  
  
She nodded as much as she could without causing herself pain. "Can we go to the horse show? I love horses so much."  
  
He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. "Of course we can. I'll take you to one as soon as you feel better. How did Daddy touch you, Summer? He just hugged you, right?"  
  
"No. Like you did. Didn't I tell you this the other day?"  
  
Seth shook his head. "No. You didn't."  
  
She was puzzled. "I thought I did. I meant to. I meant to tell you all of it. I'm tired, Seth."  
  
"I know you are. What else were you going to tell me?" His eyes were closed and he was sure he didn't want to know.  
  
"I can't be your girlfriend." She squeezed his hand. "But I want to. I like you even more now. You made it ok."  
  
Now she was going back and forth between present and past. Seth's head was spinning. "You like me more than him?"  
  
"He never did make it ok. I'm a ghost now." She seemed lost in her memory. "But Daddy loved his little angel soooooo much he couldn't help it. He said that every time. I think he could. Help it, you know. He didn't want to." She smiled sadly at him, then brightened. "I'm special to you, though. I see how you look at me." Doubt filled her face. "Aren't I, Seth?"  
  
His brain was still trying to process "Daddy's Little Angel", "couldn't help it", and "he said that every time" but he forced himself to smile at her. "You're more special to me than anything. I love to be with you."  
  
She studied his face. "I believe you, but I don't want to be friends. I might be in love with you. Did you know that? I'm mean to you so you won't find out. You can't find out."  
  
Bittersweet happiness washed over him. Under any other circumstances he might have passed out from that statement. "No, I didn't know that. But if you let me find out, I promise I won't hurt you again. Want to know a secret?"  
  
"Oh yes. I won't tell, either. I'm the best secret keeper ever." Excitement filled her voice.  
  
"Yes. Yes you are. Here's my secret. I might be in love with you too. I was scared to tell you I made a mistake for a long time, because I thought you didn't like me anymore." He felt a hundred pounds lighter after telling her. Even if she wouldn't remember it.  
  
Brown eyes widened in amazement. "For real?"  
  
He nodded. "Yep."  
  
A sad smile came to her. "We're pretty stupid, aren't we? My head hurts."  
  
"It does? You should go back to sleep then. But we are stupid, no doubt about it. Don't be sad, though. Maybe we'll learn to talk to each other about everything, even stuff that's really scary or we think the other won't understand."  
  
She yawned loudly. "Good idea. Remind me to learn that tomorrow. I might forget, and it's very important." Her eyes closed.  
  
"I'll remind you." He stood up and let go of her hand, leaning over her to kiss her softly. "G'night, Summer. Sweet dreams."  
  
He hurried into the tiny bathroom and quietly closed the door, leaving self- control out in the hospital room with her. His hands trembled and he broke out in a sweat, finally dropping to his knees and throwing up in the toilet. Afterward, he ran water in the little sink, cupping his hands to splash his face and rinse his mouth. He dried off on a towel, opened the door and walked to the nurse's station. He must be having a terrible dream within a nightmare. Had to be. He informed them that she'd been awake, and trailed a nurse back down the hall to the room. He watched wearily from the chair, shielding his eyes from the light as she adjusted machines, checked this and that, and wrote notes on the chart.  
  
The nurse started to leave, but stopped and turned to him. "I'm sure the bed would be more comfortable than that chair for sleeping."  
  
"You saw that, huh. I had a long day."  
  
She nodded, suppressing a smile. "I figured." She had a feeling he wouldn't have slept anywhere else anyway. Not until the girl woke up.  
  
He raised his eyebrows in question and looked over at Summer, sleeping peacefully.  
  
"I meant the OTHER bed. This is a private room, no one will be using it." She took it all in as he looked at the injured girl, then across the distance to the other bed, torn by his need to be close to her and his need to sleep comfortably. She sighed and crossed the room. Lord, what she wouldn't give to have a man look at her like that. She bent and flipped a lever on the bed's leg. "It rolls, darlin'."  
  
**** 


	12. Lies12

~ Lies-12 ~  
  
Seth slept soundly for a few hours, due to sheer exhaustion. He'd moved the other bed closer to Summer's, then unpacked all the things he'd bought her in the gift shop. They'd given him a box to carry two floral arrangements in, with room left over for the bags holding magazines, a teddy bear and a stuffed cat, one of those romance novels she continued to claim she never read even after he'd discovered a stack of them in her closet, Godiva chocolates and a few personal things. His mom had said "forget diamonds, chocolate is a girl's best friend", "chocolate makes the world go around", and countless other variations on the theme a billion times while he was growing up so he decided to test her theories. Summer would be his lab rat. Finally he'd crawled onto his bed and passed out.  
  
It was still early morning when he found himself staring at a white ceiling, wondering why he was awake. Images from the last 24 hours crowded into his head, and there was no way he was going back to sleep now. He sat up and stretched, checking on her as he worked the kinks out. Still asleep. Her bruises were showing up in live Technicolor now, on her face and other arm. It looked for all the world like she'd gone a few rounds with Roy Jones, Jr., or maybe The Rock, since he was pretty sure she didn't know how to box. It was probably not a good idea to mention that, though. She could probably STILL kick his ass in her condition. He bet she'd give The Rock a run for his money, though.  
  
He cleaned up in the bathroom, trying to stay in a zombie-like state. He didn't want to think about what had happened at 4am. So all right. Why hadn't anyone called about Cooper? Surely they knew something by now. His head ached and he felt as though he'd been in a state of high tension for the last year, with nerves strung as tightly as violin strings. Back in the room, he took a seat in one of the low windows, looking out at the new morning. He really wished he could see Ryan. He hoped Ryan wasn't upset that he'd stayed here with Summer instead of going to see him.  
  
He heard a noise behind him, and turned to see Summer looking around with widening eyes. "Hey. You're awake! It's about time you joined me in our lavish temporary abode."  
  
Her eyes settled on him, bewildered and frightened. "Seth? What -? Ooooh, everything hurts!"  
  
He sat on the bed next to her and took her hand. "Summer, don't be scared. You're ok. You had an accident and we're in the hospital. Try not to move, all right?"  
  
"I don't remember! What happened? What's wrong with me? Seth?"  
  
Big brown eyes were filling with tears and terror and the urge to punch something flashed through him again. He wished there was someone to blame this on, so he could unload his frustration and horror at her injuries on their face. He pushed his anger down, and leaned in to hug her gently. "It's ok, really. You're going to be fine. There's nothing to be scared of. You don't remember the accident?"  
  
She clung to him as tightly as she could with her good hand around his neck. "No! What accident?"  
  
Her voice kept rising. Distract her. "Take a deep breath for me, Summer... Good. What do you remember? Take deep breaths and think. Do you remember coming to my house? You were waiting for me in my room? " He pulled away to look at her.  
  
"...Yes! I came over...you hadn't called me yet and I was worried...oh. You were going to tell Ryan by yourself about...Coop! She locked herself in the bathroom and then she took my car and Ryan tried to stop her! Right?"  
  
"Absolutely. Good job. That's all you remember?" She was quickly getting it under control again.  
  
She thought for another minute. "I don't remember anything after going outside and seeing Ryan behind the car. Did we get in a car wreck? Oh my God, are they ok? Are you ok?" She raised her hand to his face, wincing a little.  
  
"I'm fine. There was..." The nurse had told him it was all right to tell her what happened, but he knew how upset she'd be about Ryan and Marissa. He took a deep breath. She had to find out sooner or later. Or maybe he'd let her decide. "Ok. Summer. I have something - not at all good to tell you. Do you feel like you want to know, or will it be too much for you right now? We can wait till later, if you'd rather."  
  
"Tell me." She looked wary.  
  
"Are you sure, because - ?"  
  
"Damn it, Cohen, tell me. I'm not some little kid!" Her eyes flickered with anger.  
  
'You were 4 hours ago' popped into his head, but halted before it got to his tongue. This was strong, stubborn Summer with fire in her eyes again, and he was ridiculously happy to see it. "Ok. You were trying to talk Marissa out of leaving and Ryan got in the car to try to get the key out of the ignition. She floored it, Ryan was stuck, and the car's rear end slid around and hit you." He pointed to her side and hip. "It hit you here. Nothing's broken but everything's bruised." There was no light of recognition, so she must not remember him telling her earlier.  
  
She took in a shaky breath. "And my arm?"  
  
"When the car hit you it - knocked you into the stone pillar at the end of our driveway. You took the impact on your shoulder and arm. Your shoulder was dislocated. When you fell -". His eyes filled at the awful image that appeared in his head and he looked quickly away. "- onto the road, you hit your head. Concussion. I'll be right back." He made a quick exit into the bathroom and leaned back against the door, feeling like an idiot. Guys don't cry in front of women. It killed the whole cool factor, not that he'd ever had much of that to begin with, but definitely made one appear to be quite the girly-man. He dried his eyes and went back, settling beside her on the bed again.  
  
She had a strange look on her face. "And where were you, Seth?" she asked softly.  
  
"Standing in the driveway frozen to the spot, of course. It all happened so fast. I'm sorry. I should have -"  
  
"What? What could you have done? Nothing. Don't even start with that, Cohen." Her tone was sharp, but her hand slid over his gently. "I'm guessing the news about Coop and Ryan isn't good, either." She sighed. "Tell me."  
  
"She was speeding and ran a red light. Two cars hit your car; it rolled and caught fire. The last time I talked to Mom, she was still in surgery and they didn't know anything else. Ryan broke his ankle, has a concussion, and some burns on his arm." He watched her carefully. He had no idea how she would react. "Are you ok?"  
  
She closed her eyes for a moment, then her bottom lip started quivering. She shook her head no, gasping at the pain the movement caused. He reached for her and held her as best he could without hurting her while she cried for a while. "I'm so sorry, Summer. This is a lot to take all at once. Do you want me to go get a nurse? She could get you something for the pain."  
  
Her arm tightened on him. "No. Stay." She continued so softly he barely heard her. " Please."  
  
"Whatever you want. I'm not going anywhere." He rubbed her back gently; afraid that would hurt her too. "How much pain are you in? I think they were lowering your dosage of meds in case they were keeping you from waking up."  
  
"I feel like a train hit me and then backed up over me again. Why? How long was I out? And don't even tell me it's 2005 or some crap like that." She pulled away to look at him, worried.  
  
He laughed. "O-hooooo. I could be so cruel right now. But no, the accident was yesterday. You were out maybe 18 hours. It was rather worrisome. I, quite frankly, hated it, and would like to request that from here on out, you NEVER lose consciousness again unless it's normal sleep complete with the whole REM thing happening."  
  
"Fine by me. This is totally bizarre, waking up in a hospital with like, no memory. It's a blonde moment times 1000." She noticed the other bed next to hers. "What's this? Did I need two beds for some reason?"  
  
Seth looked at the floor. "No. I - uh - slept there."  
  
"You did? Why?"  
  
"I sort of didn't want you to wake up alone and be scared. I'm kind of responsible for you, since your Dad's gone." He stole a look at her. She didn't seem to be mad.  
  
Her eyes softened. "Seth! That's so sweet! I would have, you know. Been scared. What am I talking about? I WAS scared. Wait. What do you mean you're responsible for me?" She watched him warily.  
  
"You didn't have anyone to handle things for you while your parents are out of the country, that I knew of, anyway. I rode with you in the ambulance, and took care of your paperwork and the doctor told me your condition. She's really only supposed to tell a family member or legal guardian. Her husband drove the ambulance and kind of told her what was up with your parents and that mine were out of town. He was completely cool. He even listened in on his radio and sent me a note about Ryan, letting me know he was ok. AFTER I had a meltdown seeing the wreck on the news, but still, it was good to know. What were we talking about? Right, responsibility. So it's no big deal. Oh, my dad said he was going to make some calls and have you put under their care."  
  
Summer laughed softly. "So you're like my guardian?"  
  
"Yes. As a matter of fact, I have complete control over you now; so don't even get mouthy with me. I can send you to your room, or take away your telephone and TV, or even send you back upstairs to change your clothes if I think your skirt's too short. Which, by the way, will never happen. You should be extremely nice to me." He crossed his arms and gazed smugly at her.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Whatev, Cohen. In your dreams. I'm surprised you didn't mention spanking me."  
  
A guilty look immediately crossed his face. He tried to hide it, but realized she'd already seen it. "Ok. I admit spanking crossed my mind. But under the circumstances I thought it best to keep that to myself. You're in enough pain right now." He shook his finger at her. "But just you wait until you're feeling better, young lady." He slapped his thigh. "Right over my knee."  
  
She gave him a death glare. "If I didn't know it would hurt me worse than you, I would so punch you in the arm right now." She couldn't continue the game, and broke, smiling at him.  
  
"Ha! You were kidding! I really wasn't, but we can discuss that a later date."  
  
She seemed excited at the prospect. "Discuss spanking? Yeah! Let's do that soon! How about, like - never?" She couldn't find the words to tell him, but she was beyond happy he was there with her. Not just someone, HIM. Plus, this was all so surreal, and it felt good to do something normal. Since last summer, other than when they broke up and didn't see each other, nothing was more normal than sparring with Seth.  
  
He went in for another careful hug. "You have NO idea how awesome it is to hear you threaten me and make me feel completely inadequate as a man again. Well. Yeah. You know what I mean." He gestured at her arm. "Just to illustrate what a nice guy I am, since you're in this unfortunate condition, I will now consider myself punched in the arm. Any time you feel like smacking me, just let me know. I'll say "ouch", "ow" or something else appropriate and appear properly chastened."  
  
"Wow. That's such a - sacrifice for you. It makes me feel all kinds of better. But seriously, Seth?" She tried to hug him back.  
  
"Hey, don't hurt yourself. Yeah?" It was so good to put his arms around her and feel her head on his shoulder. He'd wanted to do this since the second he'd seen her hit the ground yesterday. Last night didn't count. This was the real, aware, non-seductive-child Summer.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
There was a quick knock on the door, and Seth slowly pulled away from her as Dr. Mead entered the room.  
  
"Young lady, are you aware that Mr. Cohen hasn't left your side since you arrived in our emergency room yesterday? Not counting the time we tied him to the chair in the waiting area so we could treat you without his interference."  
  
Summer glanced quickly at Seth while he studied the floor.  
  
She approached the bed with a smile. "I'm Dr. Mead. I was your doctor in the ER and will continue until we can reach your family doctor."  
  
"Hi. It's nice to meet you. Actually? It's not, but - " Realizing how that sounded, Summer became flustered. "I mean - um. You know."  
  
Seth jumped in. "Summer is the queen of tact sometimes. It's just part of her natural charm."  
  
Dr. Mead laughed. "I take no offense. I would rather we met under different circumstances, also." She looked to Seth. "I'm sorry, Mr. Cohen, but I have to kick you out so I can examine your friend. Will you go willingly this time or do I need to call security?"  
  
Seth blushed and turned to Summer, smiling nervously. "She's kidding. Mostly," he whispered. He looked back to the doctor. "No, security's not necessary. I still have rope burns from the ER yesterday. And please, it's Seth. I'll just go call Mom and Dad."  
  
Summer was confused. "Aren't they here?"  
  
"No. Ryan and Marissa were taken to another hospital. They stayed there with them. I'll see you in a little bit." He left the room quickly as she started to ask another question.  
  
He walked to the nurse's station and asked if there was a pay phone on this floor. The nurse smiled at him.  
  
"You can use ours here, Mr. Cohen."  
  
He looked up at her questioningly.  
  
"Oh, all the nurses know who you are. It's so sweet, you staying here for that poor girl without parents. You must be very close. Margaret in the ER said you filled out her paperwork perfectly."  
  
Seth's eyes widened. "She has parents. They're just - gone. And we're - uh - friends. Since we were little." Didn't anyone have jobs to do here? Apparently there was plenty of time for gossip.  
  
She winked at him. "Friends. Of course. You just let us know if there's anything you and Miss Roberts need."  
  
He managed a weak smile and used the phone, but both his mom and his dad's cells were off. He left voice mails, and called home, but no one answered there, either. It gave him a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He thanked the nurse as he left.  
  
Dr. Mead was just leaving Summer's room as he got there, and he stopped her in the hall. "Do you have a minute? I'd like to ask you about something that happened last night, if you don't mind."  
  
"Of course, Seth." She looked curious.  
  
"Summer woke up. She was acting weird, and said a lot of unusual things. She fell back asleep, and when she got up this morning, it's like it never happened. Is it possible that anything she said was true, or was it just nonsense caused by the medication?"  
  
"Well, that depends on different things. She had enough medication that she should have slept through the night. First though, how was she acting specifically?"  
  
"Like a child. Her voice and mannerisms were just like she was a little girl again."  
  
"There have been many cases of unconscious people appearing to wake up and talk. Sometimes they regress to an age when a particular trauma occurred in their lives. When they wake up later, they have no memory of it. In most cases they speak about things they might not be able to say in normal life. Sometimes it's buried in their memories or they've blocked it out for some reason. Occasionally, they're just too frightened of the consequences telling it to someone might bring. In one case, a man told his wife he'd been having an affair, but ended it, and begged for her forgiveness. It's not an uncommon thing at all. Was she completely in the past? Did she know who you were?"  
  
He nodded. "She knew me. She was childlike when she woke up, and I assumed it was because of the drugs. She wanted to know what happened to her, so I told her. I apologized for something, and she said someone in her past had never apologized for the same sort of thing. Later on, she mentioned the two of us. Basically, she was a little girl, but she talked about the past like a memory, and about us like she was aware of a conversation we had yesterday before the accident."  
  
"How fascinating. I'm by no means an expert, but I can give you an informed opinion. Since she mentioned specific things about the two of you that were correct, there's a very high probability that everything she said was fact. Was the incident in the past something you're aware of actually happening?"  
  
"No. I'd - uh - never heard this before." His stomach tuned over again.  
  
"Well, if you could confirm it, that would be more proof that it was all fact. But still, I'll stay with my original conclusion that she most likely was speaking truthfully."  
  
Seth nodded slowly. "Thanks for your time. I'm sure you're really busy, but it was kind of important."  
  
"No problem. I'm sure you wouldn't have asked if you didn't have a very good reason." She smiled and headed down the hall.  
  
Seth shook his head, stunned all over again. So her father most likely had abused her. He'd thought she sounded completely sincere last night, but he hoped there was another explanation for the things she'd said. Of much less importance, but still relevant, she might be in love with him, didn't want him to know, and couldn't be his girlfriend. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel about any of this.  
  
**** 


	13. Lies13

~ Lies-13 ~  
  
Seth leaned against the wall outside Summer's room. He had to figure out how the hell to act normal with her before he went back in. That urge to slam his fist into something was back, but instead of a wall, this time it was a person. His enthusiasm for pounding on Mr. Roberts was running a neck- and-neck race with his desire to be over-protective of her. Follow her everywhere, never let her out of his sight again, and make sure she was always safe. He wanted to smother her with everything good and sweet and pure he could think of to make up for her father's abuse and her lost childhood. But you can't do any of that, so go in there and make her feel better. Act like nothing's different. "Hey. What did the doctor say?"  
  
"Nice job, Cohen." Summer glared at him from the bed, trying to get a comb through her hair with her good arm. Lifting the arm was making her side ache, and she threw down the comb in frustration. "This is such a pain in the ass!"  
  
Seth stifled a smile. "There's my girl. Welcome back." Events in the last two days had given him a new appreciation for bitchy, whiny Summer. He'd take her any way she wanted to be. With a disclaimer, of course, giving him the right to change his mind and gag her if she got too out of hand. "How did the humble servant displease her Highness this time?"  
  
"You could have told me I looked like this! God!"  
  
Seth gave her his best innocent look while agreeing with himself that, yes; she really was back. "Like what? Long dark hair, brown eyes, 5 foot maybe 3, sweet curves, incredibly nice a -?"  
  
"Cohen!!" She closed her eyes and leaned back against the bed. "Ow. Yelling hurts my head. Doing anything hurts my everything." She looked up at him as he sat beside her on the bed. "I'm talking about the fact that you MIGHT have mentioned half my face is black and purple, my eye makeup from yesterday is smeared all over, and my hair is so matted I'm going to have to shave it off and wear a wig for the rest of my life." She picked up the mirror he'd bought her and looked at herself, near tears. "I'm hideous! I look like, like, one of the zombies in "Night of the Living Dead!" she wailed.  
  
Seth picked up the comb and stood, moving up beside her. "You do not. How would you know anyway? You always cover your eyes through most of the movie. Listen, your hair and makeup can be fixed and the bruises are temporary." He grabbed a lock of hair, and starting at the bottom, began gently tugging the tangles out. "I've always thought you were beautiful," he began shyly. He felt awkward, but couldn't stop now. "I was sure you were ... dead yesterday. If it matters, right now, Summer, you have never looked better to me."  
  
He continued combing out her hair, while his words hung in the air for a moment.  
  
Her voice was very soft. "It matters. Thank you." She gave a short laugh. "Way to make me feel shallow, Cohen."  
  
He smiled. "It's a gift."  
  
"Seth? Could you, like, help me get up?"  
  
He put the comb on the table. "Are you supposed to?"  
  
"Yeah, she said I need to move around every so often or it will really hurt later. I can't imagine hurting worse than I do now." She gestured at the bathroom door. "And I need to - uh -"  
  
"Oh, ok." He moved the tray table out of the way, and pulled down the covers. "You want me to pull your legs around to the side, or can you do it?" She tried, and hissed at the pain. "Tell me if I'm hurting you." He grabbed her ankles, and slowly pulled them over to the side of the bed. Sliding one arm behind her, he pushed her forward till her feet touched the ground. "How you doing? You ready for this?" She nodded and he helped her stand up, staying close by. He followed as she shuffled stiffly across the room.  
  
"OhmyGod, Seth. I feel like I've -"  
  
" - been hit by a car?" As soon as he said it he realized she might not find it funny. It just fell out of his mouth, a golden joke opportunity. "Sorry. Probably inappropriate humor."  
  
She laughed. "I was going to say, "aged 70 years", but come to think of it? Yeah, just like I've been hit by a car. Go figure." She reached the door.  
  
"You gonna be able to - uh - handle that by yourself?" He was only joking a little.  
  
"I'll find a way, Cohen." She narrowed an eye at him as she slowly turned to shut the door.  
  
He held up both hands and backed away. "Hey, I'm trying to give aid in your time of need. Sing out if you fall in, can't get up or need some other sort of geriatric help. I'll just be out here installing a 'Clapper' for you."  
  
He heard her as she closed the door. "Keep that up and you're gonna be glad you're already in a hospital."  
  
She came out a few minutes later and he helped her back into bed. "Are you interested in any of this stuff cluttering the room? I think the previous occupant left it all here. Nice flowers, though. You want me to read the card and see whom they were for?"  
  
She stared at him, trying to decide if he was joking. "Yeah, read it."  
  
He picked up the book. "Hey, you have a pile of these in your closet, don't you?"  
  
"Not really. You were going to read the card?"  
  
"Hey look! A kitty and a teddy bear to keep you company." He delivered the stuffed animals to her.  
  
"Aww, they're so cute! Gimme!" She hugged them and arranged them beside her on the bed. "The card? The flowers? Cohen?"  
  
"Oh, all right. Whiner." He went back to the shelf with the flowers and pulled out one of the cards. "You are not going to believe this. The last person in the room was named Summer too! What a coincidence!"  
  
Her eyes lit up. "Bring them here? Please?"  
  
He wanted to tease her a little longer, but found himself carrying flowers to the bed instead. He sighed, resigned to the fact that he probably would only think about it for a second before jumping out the window if she asked. He could deny her nothing when she gave him that look from a hospital bed.  
  
He pulled the table around in front of her, set them down, and went back for the other arrangement. When he turned around again she had her face almost buried in the flowers he'd left in front of her. "Hey! No grazing! Don't they feed you here? I'm going to take them away if you don't stop that."  
  
"Try it and see what happens." She inhaled deeply; wincing at the pain it caused her ribs. "Oh my God. They smell like heaven and they're so beautiful! I LOVE flowers! Did you pick these out by yourself?"  
  
"Ouch. That just hurts. Of course I picked them out by myself. You think I have no taste?"  
  
"In clothing? Yes. In flowers? No. Totally good job." She smirked at him.  
  
He seemed unconcerned. "Ha. This from the girl in the tres fashionable gray- striped open-backed gown. But we'll focus on foliage for now. I am one with the flower spirits, you know. They guide me."  
  
She stared at him and nodded knowingly, pretending to play along. "Like the... comic book spirits?"  
  
He nodded. "Uh huh. Don't forget the Playstation spirits."  
  
"Of course not. They guide you so well." She rolled her eyes.  
  
"Oh hey, did you read the cards?" He motioned for her to look. He'd written them this morning.  
  
She pulled them both out. "Ok. Here's the first one. 'Summer: I'm so sorry about your accident. Get well soon and come over to see me. You were always my favorite, too. Love Forever, Captain Oats.' Awwww. How sweet of him to send flowers. He gets a big horsy kiss when I get out of here."  
  
She picked up the other one. "Summer: I always want to be your friend, whether we're a couple or not. The kind of friend that you talk to about everything, even if it scares you, or you think I could never understand it. Even if you're worried it might make me mad or see you in a different light. In return, from now on I'll think carefully before I make decisions and tell you the truth even if hurts someone else, and even if it hurts you, because everyone deserves honesty. I learned this the hard way: You have to give both the good and the bad to show you really care. I'll also talk to you about everything, even if it scares me, or (See above, for lack of space on tiny card). No matter what, I'll never, ever stop caring about you. And yes, this IS something I'm scared to tell you. Always, Seth P.S. I WILL, however, still tease you mercilessly and fully intend to bicker with you always.'  
  
She'd stopped reading aloud after the first few lines. When she finished the card, she spoke very quietly to herself. "To truly love is to give all of yourself."  
  
Seth was watching her read the card with his stomach in a knot. He didn't care if she couldn't remember their conversation in the middle of the night, he'd told her he would remind her of this today, and these were things he wanted to say. He knew now there might not always be a tomorrow. Sure, he'd taken the easy way out and written it, but it was still nerve- wracking waiting to see if she laughed at him or blew it off. Part of his heart was on that little card.  
  
She looked up with tears in her eyes. "Thank you for telling me that. It means a lot - more than you know. Would you put the flowers back on the shelf for me, please?"  
  
"You're crying. Why are you crying? Should I not have - " He had returned the Captain's card to one arrangement, and reached for the other.  
  
She hid his card with her hand before he could get to it. "Not this one. I want to keep it here." She smiled shyly up at him. "Here's something you need to learn about girls. They cry for lots of reasons, like when they're happy or moved by something, not just when they're like, sad."  
  
"Ok. That's just weird." She gave him a look. "But so - so wonderful! Yes. Sentimental! Making a mental note: Crying can be good. Got it. Check."  
  
**** 


	14. Lies14

~ Lies-14 ~  
  
Seth sat in the chair with his feet up on the low windowsill. He'd finally gotten all the tangles out of her hair, and together they'd managed to wash her face and remove her makeup. She was feeling better after what they'd dubbed a "happy shot" and he was wishing he could have one. He kept going over what she'd said in the middle of the night about her father, trying to decide if he should talk to her about it.  
  
"Hey. What's up over there?" She closed the magazine. "You look sad or something."  
  
"Naw. I'm just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night. Too many nurses flirting with me."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Right."  
  
The phone rang and they both stared at it.  
  
"It's probably mom or dad." She motioned for him to answer and he picked it up. "Robert's castle with a view."  
  
"Hey Seth, it's Dad."  
  
"I thought you guys were going to call earlier! I tried to reach you and nobody's phone was on. What's going on?" His voice was tight with worry.  
  
"I'm sorry, son, we had to turn them off while we were in the helicopter."  
  
Seth swallowed hard and turned away from Summer, lowering his voice. "The - the what? Is it Ryan? Marissa?"  
  
"Ryan is fine. He can go home as long as he stays down. I'll be taking him as soon as his paperwork is done. I'm afraid I don't have very good news about Marissa. She survived surgery, but there were some complications. They needed to operate again, so your grandfather called a friend of his, who happens to be a world-renowned neurosurgeon, who happened to be in LA. So we choppered her there. I guess the facilities in LA are better suited for her type of injuries than here. They're in surgery again now."  
  
"Oh man. I didn't - Oh my God! How's Jimmy doing? Does Ryan know?" As soon as his dad said, "survived surgery" Seth knew it was a lot worse than he'd believed. They'd said she was in bad shape, but nobody said "near death". He just assumed she'd have surgery and everything would be fine. He was numb with shock.  
  
"Aw, kid, Jimmy's not doing so good. I left your mom there with him. Ryan? Well, we told him, and he's just - Ryan. Stoic. He'll talk about anything but Marissa. I think being home will help him. How's Summer? Is she awake yet?"  
  
Seth sucked in a breath. What Ryan must be feeling right now. And poor Jimmy. "She woke up, thank God. She's been in a lot of pain, but she's ok for now. Her "happy shot" just kicked in. Hey Dad? Is Ryan like, upset with me?"  
  
Sandy chuckled. "That's funny, we were just talking about that. He said he knew you'd think that. No, son, he's not. He knows Summer doesn't have anyone else, and he knows how you feel about her. Stop worrying."  
  
He let out a breath. "Good. I wish I could see him. Have him call up here when he gets home, if he feels up to it."  
  
"Will do. And we'll call when we know something about Marissa, then. Give Summer our best."  
  
"Ok. Bye." Seth hung up the phone and turned slowly back to Summer.  
  
She motioned to the bed that was next to hers. "You look so tired. Why don't you move that bed right up against mine and lie down?"  
  
"Summer, I've got some news." He hated having to tell her this.  
  
"I know." Her voice was quiet. She gestured at the other bed again. She knew it wasn't good news by how he'd acted on the phone.  
  
He rolled the table out of the way and pushed his bed against hers. After shutting the door to the hall, he crawled on, lying down on his side as she lowered the head of her bed.  
  
"What is it?" She looked straight up at the ceiling, holding tightly to the covers with her good hand.  
  
"Marissa - made it through surgery last night, but there were some kind of complications and they needed to operate on her again. My grandpa is friends with some famous neurosurgeon, and he's in LA right now, so they took her there in a helicopter."  
  
"So it's really bad? She might not - make it?"  
  
He took her hand. "I'm sorry, Summer. It's very bad."  
  
He watched as her eyes filled, then she took several deep breaths.  
  
"Ok. Mr. Cooper?" Calm, quiet voice.  
  
"Not so good. Mom stayed in LA with him."  
  
"That's so nice of her. Your parents are such good people. Ryan?"  
  
"Won't talk about it. Dad's getting ready to take him home now."  
  
"Ok. I'm so glad he's not hurt worse. Will you turn the light off, please?"  
  
"Sure." He got up and quickly darkened the room, hurrying back to her. "Are you all right?"  
  
"No. But I just had that shot and I think it's helping, plus getting all hysterical doesn't do any good anyway. Doesn't change things." She was still staring at the ceiling.  
  
"It might make you feel better if you let it out." He definitely wished he could score whatever drug she was on now. Fat tears slid from the corners of her eyes. He wasn't sure what to do to help her.  
  
She finally turned brown eyes toward him. "Would you -?"  
  
Not realizing she hadn't ended her sentence, he was confused. "Would I feel better?"  
  
She looked away quickly, embarrassed. "No. Never mind."  
  
"Oh." He sat up and took off his shoes, dropping them to the floor. After pulling the blankets out of the crack between beds and spreading them out, he slid under the covers with her. The teddy bear was moved over and he turned on his side, gently placing an arm across her waist. "Would I do this? I thought you'd never ask. Am I hurting you?"  
  
"No." She smiled weakly at him. "Thanks."  
  
"Don't thank me. It's not like I'm doing something I hate." He shook his head at her.  
  
"I know, but we're not - I can't - forget it. Do you think Coop's gonna be ok?"  
  
"I honestly don't know. I hope so. At least we know she has the best doctor, anyway. That's one good thing." Seth squeezed her very gently. "We're friends, aren't we?" She nodded. "This is some seriously hard news, Summer. There's nothing wrong or embarrassing about asking a friend to help you deal."  
  
She nodded. She was worried he would think she was leading him on, when in truth she had no idea how to feel about anything right now. This was all just too much, but he'd said exactly what she needed to hear. "I know, but everything's so confusing, and I don't want -"  
  
He moved his hand over her mouth for a second. "I know. End of discussion."  
  
She relaxed finally and tugged on his arm so he'd move closer.  
  
He pulled away. "This is your bad side. I don't want to hurt you."  
  
"Oh, don't worry, I'll tell you if I'm in pain. Just - please?" She wanted hide in him, she needed him all around her. He was like the undisturbed air between a hail of bullets.  
  
Seth carefully slid his arm under her pillow and held her tighter with the other as he scooted up against her side. He brought his knee up and laid his leg gently across hers. "Like that?"  
  
"Yes. Exactly like that." She sighed and settled against him. "Ok for you?"  
  
"Mmmmm."  
  
"Were you really up all night?"  
  
"Mmmmhmm. Most of it."  
  
"Do you want to sleep now?"  
  
"Not if you want to talk."  
  
"Ok. A neurosurgeon is what - like a brain surgeon, right?" She felt him nod. "Do you know what's wrong with her?"  
  
He shook his head. "I don't, I'm sorry. Dad didn't go into detail, and I was too shocked to think to ask. From what he told me before, I didn't know it was this serious. I'll call him back." He moved to get up.  
  
She quickly stopped him with a touch on his arm. "No. I don't think I want to know right now. I can't imagine horrible things if I don't know what's wrong." She wiped away a tear. "She had enough problems before this. It just makes me so sad. She has to be ok, Seth. I don't know what I'll do if she isn't."  
  
He hugged her and kissed her forehead. "I know how you feel, sweetheart. And it doesn't seem fair that all these things keep happening to her, does it? We just have to think positive and hope for the best. We'll get through this, I promise." He didn't really know what to say, and hoped his words would help her somehow.  
  
She seemed to accept his promise. "Ok."  
  
They were quiet for a while and he felt himself drifting off to sleep. Her next quiet, hesitant words brought him out of his fog.  
  
"Yesterday. It must have, um, been horrible. For you. Are you ...ok?"  
  
Seth's eyes snapped open. Hers were closed.  
  
"I mean. Is there, like. Anything you want to, uh - talk about?"  
  
He felt a warm rush of emotion go through him. She had never shown concern for him like that. Not even when they dated. "It was an all-time rock bottom on my list of favorite days, yes. But I don't think you really need to hear about it, since it's the reason you're in pain and in a hospital."  
  
"The question wasn't about me." Her voice was still low, but she sounded braver. "Tell me what it was like for you."  
  
"Like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. I even told myself to wake up once; I was so sure it wasn't real." He stopped lost in his memory.  
  
"When?"  
  
He spoke slowly. "When I finally got to you. It was all so - wrong. I couldn't believe the chain of events, and things were all wacky. I closed my eyes, told myself to wake up, and looked again, expecting to see my bedroom. But you were still - lying there. In the street."  
  
She found his hand and slid her fingers through his. "What chain of events? Wacky how?"  
  
"She backed out and started to take off but she killed the motor. You and Ryan ran after her. He went around to the passenger side and got in, trying to get the key while you tried to talk her out of leaving. But Ryan was too late." He swallowed and she felt him shaking against her. "You know the rest."  
  
Summer stroked his arm soothingly. "Tell me about the wacky."  
  
"Well, when I ran down the driveway, it was like slow motion in a movie or something. The car taking off was so loud it hurt my ears, but when I reached you it was completely quiet. I was thinking some weird stuff about how there was a circle of silence just around you, and birds were chirping everywhere else. I thought I could see the air moving around me, like SEE it, colors and everything." He got lost in thought again. "No, the birds were heartbroken. But they can sing now."  
  
"Huh? You lost me at the end there."  
  
"Nothing. Just more weirdness." He was embarrassed.  
  
"Seth, it's called shock. You were in shock, not being weird."  
  
"Oh. Good to know."  
  
"How long was it before you found out what happened to Ryan and Coop? It must have been awful, not knowing."  
  
"It was horrible. We'd been here a while, and I'd finished your paperwork before I saw the wreck on the TV. Dave got the note about Ryan to me soon after that. I didn't hear from Mom and Dad about Cooper until last night. I thought I was going insane, I was so worried about the three of you. I kept seeing those images, like they were on tape in my head. I still do. They won't go away. Ryan disappearing into the car. Marissa's face as she hit the gas. The car smacking you into the pillar, and you dropping in the street." He shivered involuntarily. "And I'm starting to scare myself with my violent urges. I've wanted to shove my fist into things for the last 4 days."  
  
"Those are normal reactions, too. You saw some terrible things happen, people you care about were hurting, and there wasn't anything you could do about it. Frustration and worry can lead to violent thoughts in the best of people."  
  
He lifted his head to look down at her, eyebrows raised in question.  
  
"What? I'm a candy striper. I don't just hand out books and smile vacantly; I watch, listen and learn, too."  
  
He settled back on her pillow. "Ok, Dr. Roberts. Your eyes are glazing over a little. Do you think you can sleep? Wanna take a nap with me?"  
  
"Mmmm. Yes. We nap well together."  
  
"We do indeed, my friend." He was quiet a moment. "Thanks. For, you know, asking. And making me talk about it. I do feel better."  
  
"Don't thank me. It's not like I'm doing something I hate."  
  
He smiled a little. "I know."  
  
**** 


	15. Lies15

~ Lies-15 ~  
  
Seth was already awake when someone tapped on the door. He groaned, hating to leave the warmth and comfort of the bed and Summer. After gently pulling away from her, he got up and answered the door.  
  
"Is this Summer Robert's room?"  
  
Seth didn't recognize the guy at the door. "What can I help you with?"  
  
"I'm delivering flowers for Ms. Roberts." He motioned to a cart around the corner in the hall.  
  
"Oh. Ok." Seth stepped back and opened the door for him. Instead of turning on the light, he went to the windows and opened a blind. He watched carefully as the man brought in 2 vases, then went back for 2 more, arranging them all on the shelves with Seth's flowers.  
  
"That's all for now, sir."  
  
Seth thanked him and glanced over at Summer to see if the noise woke her. She was still sleeping peacefully. He scanned each of the cards included in the arrangements, curious as to who had sent them. The first one was signed "Kirsten", the next was from "Ryan", following that was "Sandy", and the last one was signed "Caleb Nichol and Julie Cooper". He smiled, touched that his family had done this for her. He looked up at another tap on the door. "Dad!" He quickly turned to make sure he hadn't woke her, and held a finger to his mouth. He crossed the room quickly and was crushed in a hug. "I didn't expect to see you!" he whispered as they pulled apart. "Any news yet?"  
  
Sandy shook his head and spoke quietly also. "Not yet. I took Ryan home and he's passed out on the couch, so I thought I'd see how you and Summer were holding up. I just took care of some legal things for her downstairs." He walked closer to the bed to see her. "Aw man, she looks rough. Poor girl, what an awful thing to happen." He shook his head sadly. "Hey, I brought you a change of clothes, your cell phone, and her purse from our house." He'd brought them in a bag and left it on the table. "Did the flowers arrive yet?"  
  
"Yeah, they just got here. That was pretty awesome of you guys to send one from each of you. I know she'll be thrilled. She loves flowers."  
  
Sandy smiled. "Your mother's idea. She was worried Summer wouldn't get many, without family here. That woman is so smart. So son, from what I hear, you're a doing a commendable job handling things here."  
  
"What's that mean - "from what you hear"?" He had a suspicion he already knew.  
  
"Well, you and Summer seem to be the talk of the hospital. I heard about you in admitting, in the legal office, and at the nurses station."  
  
"Don't these people have anything better to do?" He rolled his eyes, embarrassed.  
  
"Oh, give them a break. They see a lot of pain and suffering here. They're just enjoying talking about something nice for a change."  
  
Seth shook his head. "Yeah, I suppose, but I'm just helping someone I care about that has no family. They're talking like it's some romantic love story."  
  
His dad winked at him. "You mean it isn't?"  
  
He colored and averted his eyes. "Well, no. We're not even together, Dad. I screwed that up."  
  
Sandy put a hand on his shoulder. "It doesn't matter if you're together. Those are just words, son. You're both young people, and it says a lot that you've stayed with her and are taking care of her. Everyone here is seeing your actions, and they're seeing a love story."  
  
"Oh." He didn't know what to say to that.  
  
"Look, kiddo, I need to get going. I brought you the truck in case you wanted to get Summer some more comfortable things, or come home. My assistant's waiting downstairs to take me back. I don't want Ryan to think I've abandoned him. Whoa, that was a poor choice of words."  
  
"Dad. I think he knows better than that by now."  
  
"I hope so, son. Your mom and I were beside ourselves until we found out he was ok. He really feels like a son to us." Sandy shook his head.  
  
"I know. I saw the wreck on TV before my friend let me know he was ok. That's when I really lost it for a few minutes."  
  
"But you've been strong for Summer. I'm proud of you, kid. If you two need anything, let me know." He hugged Seth, handed him the keys and left.  
  
"Hey. Where'd you go?" A sleepy voice came from behind him.  
  
Seth closed the door and got back in bed with her. "Hey you. Go back to sleep. We didn't mean to wake you."  
  
She yawned. "S'ok. What's going on?"  
  
He settled in with his arms around her again. "Dad brought the truck, and your flowers reproduced while you were asleep."  
  
She raised her head a little to look. "Cool. Flower sex. I always miss all the fun." She dropped her head back to the pillow.  
  
"Uh, right. How do you feel?"  
  
"Fantastically marvelous! How are you? " She smiled happily at him, eyes glazed.  
  
He snorted. "Not as good as you, my little drug addict. Hey, do you want me to go to your house and get some of your stuff?"  
  
"What kind of stuff?" She looked exaggeratedly confused.  
  
He spoke slowly. "Well, like your own pajamas, and some makeup, not that you ever need any, clothes for when you leave here, you know - stuff."  
  
Her expression cleared as she got what he was saying. "Oh. Would you do that? I do need some stuff." She started naming off things and he finally stopped her to get up and grab the notepad and pen. She finished reeling off her list and he put the paper in his pocket.  
  
"I'm not sure all of this will fit in the truck, but I'll do my best, ok?" He didn't really think she'd be needing six different outfits or eight pairs of heels.  
  
"Hey! Don't go yet! Se-e-eth!"  
  
"I'm right here, Summer." He hadn't moved from the table where he'd been writing.  
  
"No, you're not. Stop lying. You're not right here. You're waaaaay over there. Come here." She crooked a finger and motioned him to come back to bed.  
  
"I am ever your faithful servant, darling." He crawled back on top of the blankets next to her, wondering if she'd ever call him back to bed when not drugged. It was certainly something worth hoping for. "I'm here now, ok?"  
  
"I see you now." She giggled and tried to focus on his face, growing serious. "Have I told you lately that you're the most sweetest guy I've ever met?"  
  
He blinked. His mouth opened but nothing came out for few seconds. "No. You haven't. Ever, actually. But uh - thanks."  
  
"Oops. SO Sorry. Why didn't I? Hmmm. Then did I thank you for taking care of me? Because you are, you know. Doing like, a stellar job. But you don't even have to. I take care of myself good. Besides, no one else would." She closed her eyes and sighed. "But it's ok really, because you know why that is that, that they don't want to?" She raised her head and looked suspiciously from side to side, then back to him, lowering her voice to a whisper. "I don't know if you know this, but sometimes? I can be a bitch. That's why." She nodded knowingly.  
  
He bit his lip to keep from smiling as she watched him through her haze. "You know what, Summer? I like you anyway. I want to take care of you, and I like doing it."  
  
She cocked her head to one side on the pillow. "Awww. See?" She raised an unsteady finger and tapped him on the nose. "THAT'S why you're the sweetest guy in the world. Come here. Closer. I want to tell you something important."  
  
He moved closer to her, lowering his head to hers so he could hear better. With her good hand, she turned his face toward hers and kissed him softly on the lips. She pulled away and smiled. "That? Was ex- extr- VERY important. But wait. Did I ever tell you this?" She kissed him again, pulling him down with a hand around his neck. He was surprised, but quickly responded, kissing her back. After a while, she started giggling through the kisses. He smiled and pulled away. "What now? What's funny, Summer?"  
  
"YOU'RE funny. You didn't see 'Good Will Hunting'? You fell for that just like Matt Damon. Woooo, he's hot! But I like dark hair better. I'd be a "Ben" girl, but not after J.Lo's touched him. Ewwwww!"  
  
He laughed. "I did see it, but I never expected anyone to use that on me. Especially you."  
  
"But you're a GOOD kisser. Why wouldn't I want some of that?" She stared at him, eyes unsteady and confused.  
  
"Never mind, sweetie. Maybe you can answer that after the drugs wear off." He kissed her again, and got up. "I'm going to your house now. Will you be ok?"  
  
She frowned at him and stuck her bottom lip out. "No. You'll hurry, right? I don't LIKE it here without you."  
  
He let himself feel the warmth her words brought him. Drugged or not, it was good to know she needed him. "I'll hurry. Go to sleep and I'll be back before you know it. Ok?"  
  
She yawned again. "Ok. I am sleepy." She settled back closing her eyes, then looked up again. "Wake me up when you get back? So I'll know you're here?"  
  
He smiled softly. "I will."  
  
He went out the door and down the hall, talking to himself. "Mental note: Find out what drug she's on and figure out how to get more for after she gets out of the hospital."  
  
****  
  
Seth unlocked her door and entered the house, feeling like an intruder. He'd been here several times before, but it was different walking in without her. Checking his list, he went upstairs to her bedroom. He got a suitcase out of her closet and started in the bathroom. He grabbed cleanser, moisturizer, and deodorant and went back to her closet. He picked out his favorite pair of her jeans, a little t-shirt and a sweater, then grabbed her pair of Converse tennis shoes. She didn't wear them very often, because she thought she was too short without heels, but he loved them on her. He glanced down at the pair he was wearing, and smiled at his obviousness. He was dressing her just like himself. She'd be very excited, he was sure. Heh. He went to her dresser and found a pair of socks, then took a deep breath and opened the top drawer. His eyes widened at all the silky lacy underthingys folded neatly and organized by color. He closed his eyes and started to just grab something out of the drawer, then realized he was alone and had no reason to be embarrassed. He held up several bra and panty sets and examined them, marveling at all the different styles and colors. He decided on 3 sets he particularly liked and moved down to her pajama drawer. He blew out a long breath after holding up a couple of sheer, barely-there nighties, and his mind went instantly to an altogether different place, imagining her wearing them. He shook the image from his head and forced himself to fold them and put them back in the drawer. Pajamas. He was looking for pajamas. Right. He found them in a different drawer, and after not being able to decide between a classy silk pair and a cute cotton pair with cartoon horses on them, he took both. What next? He checked his list. Makeup. THIS ought to be an adventure.  
  
He went to her vanity and opened a drawer, wondering how he was supposed to know the difference between concealer, eye shadow, and lip-gloss. He thought he had a handle on mascara; he'd seen his mom applying that. He began picking up tubes and containers trying to read the tiny words on them. When that failed, he took the tops off, one at a time, until he found a lip-gloss he thought she wanted. He put the cap back on and laid it on a book that was open on top of the vanity. He glanced at it, noticing Saturday's date at the top, and returned to his search in the drawer. Realizing he'd seen his name on the page, he went quickly back to the book. Saturday. The strange day she'd come to his house, they'd had a horrible fight here, and they'd driven all over trying to find Marissa before he'd brought her home.  
  
He turned the page, flipping through several. She'd written five pages of something. He was trying not to read, not wanting to invade her privacy like that. That wasn't true, he was burning to read it, but wouldn't let himself, thinking of how he'd feel if someone went through his personal things. He turned back to the Saturday page, deciding he'd just find where he'd seen his name. To his amazement, it was on the first line.  
  
"Dear Seth". This was a letter* to him.  
  
*You'll never see this, but maybe I can finally go to sleep if I write it. Today, with you on your couch is only time I've slept well in a long time. You see; I'm so scared I'm going to end up like Coop. We're a lot alike. She can't confront anyone or anything that's bad to her, and I can't express the good I see or feel about anyone. She runs around trying to please everyone except herself so they'll love her, and I push everyone away to avoid the hurt they always, always bring when I let down my guard and care. So I only care about or try to please myself. Maybe that's why we've been best friends forever. We're each the part the other is missing. How long can a person go without letting anyone into their life? How long until I start drinking heavily again and breaking laws in an attempt to get someone's attention, because I can't express myself and am too scared to let anyone care about me the normal way?  
  
"To truly love is to give all of yourself." It's at the top of the page and I didn't understand it until tonight. You give all of yourself. You're not afraid to talk about your love for Ryan and you're also able to tell me off when I'm taking advantage of you or hurting your feelings. You say the good and the bad, and I envy you.  
  
Do you want to know why I came to your house to talk, then left you sleeping on the couch and ran home, suddenly NOT wanting to talk when you followed me? Of course you do, because it made no sense. I've been telling myself and everyone else I'm over you, I hate you, and I don't care that you didn't choose me. Today I found out I'm lying to myself. Seeing you was painful but wonderful, and when I first woke up in your arms on that couch I was happy, so happy until I realized I'd practically forced you to hold me and you didn't really want to, it was just out of pity. It hurt so much to remember that you didn't want me. During that fight, when you told me you were looking for me at the party because you wanted to ask for another chance, I wanted to scream yes and kiss you so badly I thought my insides were ripping apart, but I COULDN'T. Not WOULDN'T - I COULD NOT do it.  
  
Do you know the real reason I want you to call me before you tell Ryan about Coop tomorrow? Yes, I'm worried about Ryan, but I'm more worried about you. I know how hard it will be for you to tell him, knowing it's going to break his heart, and I want to be there for you. As hard as I tried, I couldn't tell you that tonight, though.  
  
So Seth, no matter what I say or how I act around you, I really do care about you. So damn much. I CARE I CARE I CARE!!!! But I'm scared to let you get close again. You're the only one I've given a fighting chance to, I mean for a real relationship with me, but I can't go through it again. I'm damaged, and you deserve better than me anyway.  
  
While I'm confessing, I might as well tell you why I'm damaged goods and why I act like I do. I'm going to tell you about my father....*  
  
He looked up and closed his eyes. She'd just confirmed part of her childlike conversation in the middle of the night. She might be in love with him, but she can't be with him. He was saddened that he hadn't seen her attempts to tell him some of these things. He had point blank asked her to finish a sentence about why she'd left his place and changed her mind about talking, and watched as her struggle to tell him reduced her to tears. His own inferiority complex hadn't allowed him to think it had anything to do with her feelings for him. He sighed. If he continued reading, the letter was going to confirm the other half of their conversation, the horror about her father. How had he been so dense not to tie the two things together? After what her father had done, of course she would have a hard time letting anyone get close to her. Of course she would try to scare off anyone that showed interest in something besides sex. No wonder it was so hard for her to admit her feelings for him, and no wonder it had taken so long. He'd always assumed her hesitance was all about her social standing and his lack of one. While that might have been part of it, now he knew the whole story.  
  
He continued reading, his jaw tightening and hands shaking. Before he finished the letter, his hands were clenched into fists.  
  
Looking up finally, he stared at himself in the mirror, and took several deep breaths to try to calm down. He searched around until he found another of her bags, and dumped most of the makeup in the drawer into it, then tossed it and the date book into the suitcase. After closing it, he headed back to the hospital.  
  
***** 


	16. Lies16

A/N - Thank you all for reading. And again, I love hearing your thoughts.  
  
~Lies16 ~  
  
Seth stood outside the door to her room, not wanting to interrupt the heated conversation going on inside, but also not able to walk away.  
  
"I thought you had come to your senses and gotten rid of that loser. You're obviously just, like using him so you won't be alone, right? But God, Summer, the whole hospital is talking about you two. It's disgusting. I thought you were trying to save your reputation after your little fling with the geek."  
  
"Listen up, you stuck-up whore. He's been with me since the accident because he wants to. He's been helping me because we're friends and he cares, but you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? I didn't have to screw Seth to get his attention, or blow him as a bribe to take me out in public. Ooooooh, THAT hit a nerve, didn't it? And how is Eric? The last time I saw him he looked exhausted. That's SO understandable, though, with his $1000 a week habit, and the ever growing list of cheerleaders that he's banged lately. Her voice lowered, still dripping with venom. "Go ahead, Holly. Tell me again who's with a loser?"  
  
Seth's eyes lowered to the floor, a pleased smile on his face.  
  
"You - you don't - "  
  
"Get out of my room, slut. You give me a headache."  
  
Seth backed up as Holly stormed through the door, red and white striped skirt swishing. He couldn't resist smirking at her.  
  
"So, Summer. Catching up with old friends?"  
  
She glanced up as he entered the room. "Hey! You're back."  
  
He set the suitcase on the rack by the bathroom door. "What did you do to her? She almost melted my clothes off when she blew by me." It was not the best idea to let her know he'd just eavesdropped on their conversation.  
  
"Holly? The twit was running her mouth about things WAY over her bleach- blonde bubblehead. I just gave her a new point of view." She tried to rub the back of her neck, wincing at lifting her arm.  
  
He hesitated a moment. Yesterday he would have been too nervous, but after reading her true feelings in the book it didn't take much to talk himself into helping her.  
  
"Here. Let me." Seth went to her side. "Can you lean up without it hurting?"  
  
She glanced at him, surprised, then moved forward. "It's ok."  
  
"Good." He slid her hair all over one shoulder and gently rubbed her neck. "Your hair's wet."  
  
"Yeah, one of the nurses helped me take a shower. The hot water felt soooo good."  
  
"You know, Summer, I am quite skilled at showering. I learned young and have years of experience. I could have helped you with that, maybe given you some tips. Next time?" He didn't need to see her face to know she was rolling her eyes.  
  
"Cohen?"  
  
"Yes, my pet?"  
  
"Pretend like I just hit you really hard."  
  
"Sure thing. OW! Not so hard! Masseuse abuse is a felony in California! Actually, it should be the masculine "masseur", well, because I'm masculine, but that doesn't rhyme with abuse and consequently isn't nearly as amusing." There was silence. "You're rolling your eyes again, aren't you?"  
  
"So hard they're about to fall out of my head."  
  
"I'll be on the lookout for that, then. Am I hurting you?" He moved down her shoulders, being careful on her damaged side.  
  
"Oh God no. That feels wonderful. I'll be expecting this all the time when I get out of here, you know."  
  
"Not happening. That's when it's my turn. You'll be paying me back by waiting on me hand and foot, feeding me grapes and rubbing my shoulders while I set high scores on the Playstation." He took advantage of the opening in her gown and moved lower, rubbing all along her back.  
  
"MMmmmm. You are so good at that."  
  
His eyes widened in surprise. "I am?"  
  
She laughed at him. "Yes. You are. So what did you bring me? The doctor said I have to go for a walk and I refuse to do it with my ass hanging out in the breeze."  
  
"Such a lady-like phrase, my dear. And a phenomenally enticing mental image. But, moving on, you have your choice of burgundy silk pajamas, or horsy pajamas, which I personally find adorable. What's your preference?"  
  
"Horsies, please."  
  
He went to the suitcase, pulling out the pajamas. Catching sight of the date book, he spoke without looking at her. "Summer, when you get back we need to talk about something important." He held up a pair of panties. "Will these be ok?"  
  
"OhmyGod. Cohen! Put those away!"  
  
He pivoted her direction. "What? I especially liked the light blue ones, but they didn't match your pajamas as well."  
  
"Uh huh. Did you have fun in my nightgown drawer too, Seth?"  
  
He grinned at her. "Now that you mention it? I did, by chance, happen across that drawer, thinking it held your pajamas. A completely innocent mistake, I assure you. Anyway, I'm a little confused about that lavender number, because I'm not sure how those criss-crossy things go, and I think you might need to model it for me. Just for informative purposes of course."  
  
She stared at him.  
  
He nodded. "Right. I should pretend like you hit me. Will a slap across the face work for you?"  
  
She raised a thumb.  
  
"You got it. OW! THAT'S gonna leave a mark." He took the clothing to her. "I'll just be out in the hall while you get dressed."  
  
She sighed heavily. "Actually, just turn around. I might need your help."  
  
Seth spun around, mouthing a "Yes!"  
  
He heard fabric rustling behind him, and his eyes slid all the way to the right, somehow forcing his head to slowly, slowly turn in hopes of getting a glimpse of her over his shoulder. He was almost there when he heard her cuss behind him. Thinking he was caught, his head snapped forward again.  
  
"Dammit! I can't do this! Help me."  
  
He whirled around and went to her, grinning. "I guess it's not just my clothing you have problems with."  
  
"It isn't funny!" She'd managed to get everything else on, but it was too painful to get her arms into the sleeves of her top.  
  
He immediately lost his smile. "Of course not. I'm sorry. It must be very frustrating for you." He tried not to notice the tanned expanse of skin over the hospital gown she was holding against her chest. His eyes traveled over the bruises starting above her right breast and continuing across her shoulder and down the arm to the cast. It was basically one huge purple area. Her other arm was dotted with black and blue spots.  
  
"Stop looking! I'm disgusting!" She turned her head away, embarrassed by her appearance.  
  
Seth picked up her pajama top and slid the sleeve over her bad hand. "Summer." Her eyes cut back to his face warily. Feeling quite secure about it, he bent his head and kissed her injured shoulder. "Stop talking about yourself like that. You are beyond beautiful even with bruises."  
  
The expression in her eyes softened, and they followed him as he pulled the sleeve up. Both arms circled her to get the top across her back, and then he guided her other arm through its sleeve. Glancing up, his eyes caught hers, and she dropped the gown from her chest. Remembering what she'd just said to Holly and using all his will power, he forced himself to continue watching her eyes while he pulled the front of her top together. Sure she was covered, he looked down and began buttoning it up. In the back of his mind he felt like he'd just passed a test of some sort.  
  
"Ok. You're ready. Gentlemen, or ladies in this case, start your engines!" He looked up and she was still watching him with the same tender look in her eyes. "What?"  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Oh hey, it's nothing. We can't have you running through the halls half naked, can we?" She didn't smile, and his faltered.  
  
"I feel like I should apologize for kissing you earlier, because it must be confusing for you. I'M confused about it, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you."  
  
"End of conversation. We need to walk you. Is there a leash in case you get overly excited and jump on a doctor or nurse with your tail wagging?" There would be time later to discuss all this.  
  
"Seth."  
  
"Ok. Apology accepted. I certainly wasn't complaining though, now was I?" He moved quickly to the door. "Come on, girl. Here, girl." He patted his leg to encourage her. "Time for your walk. Come on, you want to go for a walk? Come here, girl."  
  
She glared at him and slowly maneuvered herself off the bed and across the room to him. He offered his arm and she looked with narrowed eyes from it to his face a few times, then finally hooked her hand through his elbow. "I'd really rather be a horse today."  
  
He slapped himself on the forehead. "A horse, of course! We'll just swap the leash for a lead rope. Please refrain from nibbling on potted plants, flowers and toupees, though."  
  
****  
  
They returned to the room an hour later. Taking a walk had turned into a meet and greet, as they'd spent most of the time talking with hospital employees that had stopped them to wish Summer well.  
  
"Wow. It's like we're celebrities or something." Summer had thrived on the attention, and was feeling much more confident. "You're like, a rock star."  
  
He gave a short laugh. "Hardly. You, however, are the Queen of the hospital. Do you have any urges to decree some new laws or have someone beheaded?"  
  
"Not really. I think I just want to sit down."  
  
He helped her back onto the bed. "You feel ok?"  
  
She nodded as a tap sounded on the door.  
  
Dr. Mead came in smiling. "How did the walk go, Summer?"  
  
"Pretty well. Everything is less achy, except my side. It's starting to hurt pretty badly."  
  
"That's because you were rocketing through the halls like a 80 year old, Summer. I TOLD you to slow down." Seth shook his head in mock exasperation.  
  
Summer mouthed a sarcastic "Ha" at him, while Dr. Mead hid a smile. "I'd like to take another look, then we'll discuss releasing you."  
  
"Really? I thought you said tomorrow or the next day?"  
  
"I got your last test results back earlier than I expected, and they all look fine. There's been no evidence of internal bleeding or repeats of your shutdown, so I think you're good to go."  
  
Summer looked confused, so Seth jumped in again. "That little thing we like to call 'unconsciousness'."  
  
"Oh. That. Ok then. Examine away." She and the doctor looked at Seth.  
  
"Right. I'll be in the hall. Better yet, I'll take a load of stuff to the truck." He quickly packed up the box again and headed for the parking lot.  
  
****  
  
"That's the last of it. You up for some Twister now?"  
  
"Hilarious, Cohen." She was standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking up in dismay. "There's no way I can get up to my room!"  
  
"This house is huge, Summer. Aren't there any rooms on this floor?"  
  
"Well, yeah, there's the guest suite, but - "  
  
"But nothing. You're moving in. Lead the way." He picked up her suitcase and his bag and followed her through the maze of halls to the back of the house, where she stopped in front of a set of double doors. He opened them and flipped on the light, letting out a low whistle. "Sweet suite."  
  
The main room was huge and plush, with cozy living room furniture grouped in one area, a bar in another, and the bedroom furnishings separated by an ornate partition. The long exterior wall was glass, affording a spectacular view of the ocean from anywhere in the room. Through the door to the next room was a kitchen and beyond that, another bedroom. Returning to Summer, he saw her holding her side. "Come on, granny, you need to lie down."  
  
"YOU need to cut that out. I'm not going to feel like this forever, and payback is hell, you know."  
  
"Yeah. Ok. Point taken." Putting an arm around her, he helped her to the bed and pulled down the covers while she got in. After getting her bottle of pain medication from the suitcase, he got a glass of water from the bathroom and took them to her. "There's a fireplace. Shall we make use of it?"  
  
"I would love a fire."  
  
He took a few minutes to get one going, and then sat on the bed with her. "So listen. I uh - want to talk to you about something and there's really no good time for this. You're probably not going to like it, but I told you I'd be honest with you and talk about things even if it scared me or might upset you. In the card, remember?"  
  
She pulled it out of the pocket of her pajamas and held it up. "You mean this card?"  
  
He smiled. "That's the one."  
  
She nodded slowly. "Go ahead."  
  
Returning to the suitcase, he pulled out her date book. "This was on your vanity when I came to get your clothes earlier. I saw 'Dear Seth', and figured it was ok to read it." He sat next to her on the bed, taking her hand. "I know about your father, Summer." He watched carefully for her reaction, hoping he was doing the right thing. "I know what he did to you when you were a little girl, and how it's affecting you and us right now."  
  
She turned her head to stare into the fire.  
  
"Summer? Talk to me, please?" He sandwiched her hand between both of his.  
  
She pulled it away from him without moving her gaze from the fire. "Go away."  
  
"I won't. I want to be with you."  
  
"Leave. Now."  
  
"No. You're not pushing me away this time. I know why you run hot and cold, and why it took so long for you to admit you liked me now. I'm sorry I didn't realize how hard that was for you and I wish I could do everything over again, but I can't." She still hadn't looked at him. He reached out to her but she drew away again. "Summer, I know you're terrified to let me back in after I hurt you. With what you've been through, I don't blame you at all. But just try to remember how long I've liked you. Since we were ten I've never wanted anyone but you. Anna was - flattering. I thought I was getting nowhere with you, and she liked me right away. That was a previously unknown state of affairs for me. I had no friends until Ryan came, let alone of the female variety, so I was confused. I already told you NOT choosing you was a monumental mistake, and I knew that right after I made the decision. You are the only girl I've wanted to be with for 6 years. The odds are heavily in favor of you being the only girl I want for a very, very long time. I won't say I'll never hurt you or we'll never fight, because that's part of every relationship, but I promise I won't hurt you intentionally and I promise I'll always be honest with you. Haven't I shown you that I care?"  
  
She turned on her side, drew her knees up, and closed her eyes.  
  
"You told me about your father in the middle of the night. I know you don't remember it, but you did. Dr. Mead said it's common for unconscious or medicated people to talk about things they can't while awake. Please talk to me about this. It seems like you want to, since you wrote to me about it, and told me once already. I'll do anything I can to make things better for you, just please trust me."  
  
He got no response, so he stood up.  
  
"All right. I've said everything for now. Please think about it all. Summer?" She seemed to have withdrawn into herself. He sighed heavily. "I need a shower."  
  
When he finished in the bathroom and came out, she appeared to be asleep. "If you're awake, I'm going out to get you dinner and run an errand." He checked his watch. "I WILL be back in a little while."  
  
**** 


	17. Lies17

~ Lies17 ~  
  
So I'll wait for you... And I'll burn  
  
Will I ever see your sweet return,  
  
Oh, will I ever learn?  
  
It's never over,  
  
My kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder  
  
It's never over, all my riches for her smiles  
  
when I slept so soft against her...  
  
It's never over,  
  
All my blood for the sweetness of her laughter  
  
It's never over, she's the tear  
  
That hangs inside my soul forever  
  
- Jeff Buckley -  
  
Seth drove back to Summer's house feeling miserable, fearful that he'd just destroyed their friendship. He hadn't known what else to do, though, other than reveal that he knew about her past and hope that she'd want to discuss it. He knew she wouldn't be thrilled that he read her date book, but he didn't expect the reaction he got - complete and instant withdrawal. After all they'd been through, and with the knowledge that she really did care about him, had he killed any chance he had with her? Maybe he should have kept quiet. It was possible that she'd come to trust him anyway someday, but he wanted so badly to help her now. It must be incredibly painful to have all those feelings about her family inside, and not be able to talk to anyone. She was so fearful of caring for someone and having the rug pulled out from under her feet again it was easier to just push everyone away with her bitch persona. For the thousandth time he wished he could go back and tell Anna that Summer was the one he wanted to be with. He'd had a taste of the real Summer when they dated, and now he wanted to see it all. He thought back to glancing up from his book in class once and doing a double take when he caught her paying no attention at all to the teacher, instead watching him with a little smile on her face. He would come up behind her at her locker and her eyes would light up when she saw him. He never got past the urge to glance over his shoulder to find out who she was so happy to see. It didn't seem possible that it was HIM. She was so special, such an amazing mix of personality; it was almost disturbing how deep his feelings ran for her, and how much he longed to be more than a friend to her. How damned much he wanted her to feel the same way about him.  
  
He'd had an idea in the shower of a way he could show his feelings to her, but now he was wondering if that also was a bad idea. The realization finally struck him that this situation was way over his head. Handling an accident and some hospital time was child's play compared to incest and the repercussions years later. He got out his cell phone. "Hey Dad. What's the word on Marissa?"  
  
"Hello Seth. I was just about to call you. She's out of surgery now, and they say it went well. Now we wait for her to wake up."  
  
"Ah yes, the waiting. Something I am much too familiar with. Some good news about Cooper is a welcome change, though. And Ryan?"  
  
"He's sleeping, which is what he needs to do. When he's awake, he's back in brooding mode."  
  
"I was afraid of that. He's blaming himself for the whole thing, isn't he?"  
  
"I don't know, son, he won't talk about it. Why do you say that, anyway?"  
  
"I'll give you a short recap of the weekend. Summer and I each discovered that Marissa has been up to some alarming things of late and is not doing as well as she led everyone to believe. We decided finally to tell Ryan, but circumstances occurred that kept us from doing that until it was too late. Ryan had broken up with her, she lost her slim grasp on sanity, and here we are."  
  
"Oh, no. As if Ryan needs more to deal with. Jimmy is blaming himself, too." Sandy sighed. "I'm gonna be scared to death to ever leave for a weekend again."  
  
"Oh yeah, just so you know, Summer's been sprung from the hospital and we're at her place. So Dad. I need advice. You saw everything horrible parents do to their kids when you were a public defender, right?"  
  
"Unfortunately, I'd have to say yes."  
  
"Ok. What about incest? Is there any technique or common method used to get through to a victim who's still dealing with the aftermath years later?" Seth was hoping he wouldn't ask questions. It wouldn't be right to out Summer as the person he was referring to.  
  
There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment. "Seth, I thank you for your confidence in me, but I'm not a shrink."  
  
"I am aware of your occupation, father, and I also know you do a lot more than just defend your clients. Witness my brother Ryan. How do you get through to these kids?"  
  
"Can I ask why you're interested in this?"  
  
"School paper."  
  
"I'm not buying that for that a second, but considering the subject matter I understand your reluctance to tell me. Look, sometimes I didn't reach them; they were too far gone for a non-professional, or just didn't want to be helped. A kid is supposed to be taught HOW to love and express themselves, etc. by BEING loved. That's the first and foremost job of a parent. Any child that's been abused by a parent is going to have trust and communication issues because the learning bond for those things has been broken, if it was ever there to start with. Ryan is the perfect example. He barely spoke when he first got here; it took a long time for him to open up to you at all, and even longer to us. Look at the problems he had telling Marissa he cares about her. He's probably never said those words before in his life other than to pacify his mother in the remorseful cycles of her alcoholism. There is no magic wand you can wave, Seth. You just have to stay close and keep encouraging them to open up. Show them you can be trusted and at some point they'll feel comfortable enough. These are things you probably already knew, but I can't help you beyond that."  
  
"Not all of it. Thanks, Dad. I know I never say it, but you and mom know that I think you're passable, as far as parents go, don't you? I mean, the only thing you're going to scar me for life with is your relentless need to make out all over the house in front of me."  
  
"Well, thanks, kid. But you're gonna have to be scarred, because the making out will continue. Your mom's a hottie, you know."  
  
"Ok Dad? No. Just - just don't. No. Well will you look at that? Summer's house. Gotta go now! See ya!" Seth hung up hearing his father's laughter.  
  
****  
  
He entered the guest suite cautiously, still not sure if he should keep his mouth shut and leave her alone, acting like nothing happened. His other choice was his dad's advice - stay close and keep encouraging talk. The harder, but more logical option was to stick with it. He'd opened Pandora's box; it was his responsibility to see what was inside, not run like a scared kid from it. He left the food on the coffee table, and went to the bed. She appeared to be asleep, so he sat on the side next to her and took her hand. "Summer? Hey, I've got dinner for you."  
  
She turned her head and sighed with her eyes barely open. Seeing him sitting there sent her instantly into a panic. She scrambled back and across the big bed away from him, moaning "Noooooo!" The sudden movement sent pain spiking through her and she collapsed, sobbing and repeating "No. No. No..."  
  
Seth was as panicked as she was. "What the hell? Summer, what is it? Oh Jesus, I scared you. How did I scare you? Did you think -? Oh God, I am such an IDIOT!" Brilliant, Cohen! The girl's struggling with past unwanted sexual advances that most likely occurred in a BED, so what do you do after stirring it all up for her by telling her you know? Sit on the side of her bed while she's asleep and wake her UP! THAT wouldn't remind her of anything, would it, dumbass? He raced around the bed to her, being careful not to touch her. "Summer? It's me. I'm so sorry I frightened you. I didn't mean to. It's Seth - look over here at me. Summer! I AM NOT your FATHER! Look. At. Me. I'm Seth."  
  
She turned her head warily toward him. "S - Seth?"  
  
The expression on her face was like a dagger to the heart. Beyond terrified and utterly betrayed. "Yes, it's me. You're ok. You don't have to be scared." He waited anxiously while she pushed herself slowly to a seated position. As she looked up at him, the panic melted from her eyes. Without words she reached out to him like a child. He sighed in relief then went to her and hugged her as tightly as he could. She buried her face in his shoulder and sobbed. Seth was near tears himself. "God, I am so incredibly sorry, sweetheart. I never meant to scare you like that. Shhh, baby. It's ok. You're ok now." He rocked her until she stopped crying, then pulled away a little to look at her. "Are you all right now? Do you still hurt anywhere?" She tugged on his shirt and pulled him back against her. "Ok" was muffled against his shoulder, and he rested his cheek on top of her head.  
  
After a while, he checked his watch. Reaching over to the nightstand, he grabbed her instruction sheet from the hospital and read while holding it over her shoulder. "It's time for your pills, and that means you have to eat first. The pain medication will help you relax. I'll be right back; I brought home dinner."  
  
He returned to the bed with the food, and she shook her head. "You have to eat something. Your meds will make you sick if you take them on an empty stomach." She shook her head again. He got a fork full of chicken and held it out to her. "Come on, Summer, you have to. Just a little." She reluctantly took a bite, and he fed her a few more.  
  
After giving her the medication, he built up the fire, then took off his shoes and got on the bed, leaning on the headboard. He patted a spot between his knees and she settled there with her back against his chest. His arms slid around her. "We can watch the sunset."  
  
He was a bit concerned that she wasn't speaking, but he didn't want to push anything as long as she wasn't trying to throw him out again. Maybe talking was just too much for her after he'd scared her into another trauma. He began talking softly to her. He told her again how much he wanted to help her, how he wished she could trust him and talk to him, and how he'd always be there for her as her friend. He went into detail about places he'd always wanted to take her, Playstation games he could teach her; concerts and movies they would see when she felt better. The sun was long gone when he stopped. "Are you asleep?"  
  
She shook her head.  
  
"Ok. So." He reached into a pocket and brought out a tiny box. "I got you a present. I tried to find something that will remind you of how much I care about you whenever you look at it. It had to say "Summer" in a big way, and this - well, this is what I found. I hope you like it." He opened the box and passed it over her shoulder, getting increasingly nervous. Inside was a ring with a sizeable diamond bezel-set into the band, and a smaller stone on each side. "I know it looks kind of like an engagement ring, the saleslady even asked if it was, but I told her it was a friendship ring for an amazing girl, because we're like, only seventeen, and the clincher being that you're uh - not my girlfriend. Oh, and don't be thinking this is a bribe of some sort to BE the afore-mentioned girlfriend, because it's so not. Whatever happens, that's your ring. Do you like it? Because I'm actually pretty damned nervous right now, and I'll most likely either keep talking or pass out unless you tell me if I got at least a B- in 'Jewelry for Chicks 101'.  
  
She nodded, and he saw her raise a knuckle to her eye.  
  
He slid around partly beside her. "Summer, don't cry. It doesn't matter if you don't like it, you can exchange it."  
  
She shook her head as tears slipped down.  
  
"You do like it?"  
  
She closed her eyes and nodded, wiping more tears away.  
  
"Then why are you -? Oh hey! Is that the happy and/or moved cry?"  
  
She nodded and leaned to the side, against him again.  
  
"That's uh - that's awesome, because I was really starting to sweat it there. Ok. Cool. You like it. Fantastic. Let's see if it fits; I had to guess your size." He removed it from the box, and held it up in front of her. "I had it engraved inside, too. Can you see it?"  
  
She took the ring from him and turned it around until the engraving was visible. One side read "Trust" and the other "Honesty". She caught his eyes with a touched, disbelieving gaze and then kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you," she whispered.  
  
He smiled shyly. "The pleasure is all mine, my friend. Does it fit?"  
  
She slid it on her finger and held up her hand so he could see it.  
  
"Cool. I knew it would look perfect on you as soon as I saw it in the case." He moved around behind her again. "Is this ok, or would you feel better if you were lying down?"  
  
She shook her head and settled back against him again. They watched the moonlight play on the water down below while the fire popped and crackled nearby.  
  
****  
  
The fire had burned down to embers and Seth was dozing, too comfortable to move and sure she was asleep.  
  
"I was so little when it started that as I grew up I didn't realize it wasn't something ALL fathers did to their little girls. Not for years. I just knew it was wrong." She was speaking in a soft voice, hesitantly.  
  
He opened his eyes, already troubled by her words, but determined to put aside his own feelings and listen.  
  
"Seth?" She sounded so frightened, so unsure.  
  
His arms were already around her, and he hugged her gently against his chest. "I'm here, honey. I'm listening."  
  
"I don't remember much about my mom, just the feeling that she didn't like me. She resented me. I guess I was either an unwanted accident, or I didn't fit the pretty picture she had in her head of what babies would be like."  
  
Seth gritted his teeth at the thought of Summer spending the last ten or so years lying awake at night wondering why her mom didn't want her and had decided to abandoned her.  
  
"When Daddy did - stuff, he always told me it was because he loved me so much he couldn't help it. I was too pretty, or sweet, or adorable to NOT. I was his little angel; and he wanted to show me. It was just touching at first, and then as I got bigger, it was - more. It was so - awful, but I wanted him to love me, you know?"  
  
As he caught the implication of her words, his head started to reel. "Summer, my god. You don't have to explain or justify wanting one of your parents to love you. You were a little tiny girl abandoned by one and horrendously taken advantage of by the other. Their actions are inexcusable. YOU did nothing wrong. You know that, right?" He leaned around her to see her face, but she turned her head away from him.  
  
"I can't - don't look at me."  
  
Seth shook his head and slid out from behind her, moving around to sit facing her on the bed. "You're not doing that either." She dropped her head and looked down so he couldn't see her. He grabbed her chin and forced her to look up at him. "Do you know what I see when I look at you right now? I see the very same smart, witty, sweet, sassy, gorgeous girl that I saw a week ago, before I knew about your past. Nothing about you has changed for me and I don't think about you any differently. Don't you ever hide your face from me or anyone else. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Do you understand me?"  
  
She stared at him for a second, then closed her eyes and took in a sharp breath, about to cry.  
  
He let go of her chin and hugged her. "I'm not mad at you, Summer. It just upsets me that you think of yourself this way. I wish you saw the same girl I do."  
  
She swallowed and nodded. "I've been to counseling, and everything you're saying is what they said too. It's like, deep down, I know it's true, but it just can't get to the surface where I can feel it."  
  
He pulled away and watched as she fought to not look away from him. "That's because of your father. He didn't want you to know that what he was doing was wrong, so he implied it was your fault until it became fact for you."  
  
Her gaze finally leveled on his face. "I was scared to tell you. I wanted to tell you why being with you was so hard, and I even tried, but I couldn't. I know you said I could talk to you about anything, but this is so - huge and awful. I mean, it's not like telling you another guy asked me out and I want to go. I was sure you'd find me - disgusting, or just stick around out of pity."  
  
He smiled sadly. "Were you scared to tell me that right now?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Good. We're making progress. For the record, from the top of your head to your horsy pajamas and on down to those cute toes, you could never be disgusting to me, and why would I pity someone as strong as you? You've raised yourself remarkably well, and appear to the rest of the world like a typical Newport girl. I would never have known what you've overcome if I hadn't somehow finally gotten on your radar, and for some unexplainable reason, you liked me back. I feel horrible that this happened to you, but there's no need for pity."  
  
She looked down at the bed. "You're saying all the right things."  
  
"No kidding? Cuz that would be a first for me. We'll have to write this on the calendar: 'Seth said all the right things'. Then the next time I piss you off, I can point to this date and argue my case a little better."  
  
She gave him a little laugh.  
  
"Finally! Laughter. But you look incredibly tired. Do you want to lie down? We can still talk, I just think you'd be more comfortable."  
  
She nodded. "Which side of the bed do you want?"  
  
Seth stared at her blankly. "The -the -the side? I was going to - " he pointed to the couch.  
  
"No. You're not. We're going to talk until we fall asleep. You've been up since what - Friday? - with nothing but a couple of naps and you ARE going to sleep in a comfortable bed." She looked across it. "A car hit me and I'm hurt, and you can deny me nothing right now. So which side, Cohen?"  
  
"Good Lord, am I that easy to see through? You KNOW that I can't tell you no?" He squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. "I'm a disgrace to men. That's it. It's over; I can't be seen in public ever again. Everyone knows. Everyone knows that I'm whipped by a girl who's not even my girlfriend." He fell backward onto the bed, covering his eyes with his arm.  
  
She crawled under the covers next to him. "I'm assuming that's the side you want, drama boy. It doesn't mean you're whipped, Seth, it means you have a big heart. You'd do the same thing for anyone."  
  
He pulled his arm off of his eyes and turned his head on the pillow to look at her. "Is that what you really think?"  
  
"Well yeah. You've never had a problem putting me in my place, so if you're whipped by anyone, it certainly isn't me."  
  
He looked up at the ceiling. "Whew! Good to know. But I was talking about the other thing, actually."  
  
"No way. You're stuck with that side of the bed now."  
  
"Keep up with me, Roberts. The OTHER other thing. I would NOT do this for anyone. I might help them out, but not to this extent. You are my friend, and you are special. Now. Regarding this side of the bed." He raised his head to look around. "You mean this acre of bed, don't you? I've never seen such a huge bed. If you get lost in the middle of the night, just scream and when I finally hear your distant voice I'll guide you back to safety."  
  
She giggled. "Maybe we should each have a flashlight so we can signal each other."  
  
"Another brilliant idea."  
  
"Seth, it IS the middle of the night."  
  
"Oh yeah." He turned to look at her again. "Are you lost, little girl?"  
  
She looked over at him with a smile. "I might be. Can you help me?"  
  
He rolled his eyes at her. "Do you have to ask after the past few days?"  
  
"Just checking. You might be sick of helping me."  
  
"Not gonna happen, foolish girl."  
  
"Good. Then you need to go get some PJ's out of the dresser, change, and come back to bed."  
  
It took him a full thirty seconds to get past the thrill of hearing her say "come back to bed". "There are pajamas here that will fit me?"  
  
"Seth, there are pajamas here that will fit half the town. We stock all sizes. You never know which of my dad's friends or business people will blow through and need a place to stay."  
  
"Yes. Because it's good to be - prepared. For half the town. But first I need to ask a question."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Did another guy really ask you out and you want to go, or was that just an analogy to fit the conversation?"  
  
"What? Oh. That was a half hour ago, Cohen!"  
  
"And the timing of the question is important because...?"  
  
"Because it should be gone from your mind by now. I think I'll let you suffer awhile. Go get ready for bed."  
  
"Brat."  
  
"Jealous."  
  
"Hardly."  
  
"Liar. What happened to honesty?"  
  
He swallowed. "You want the truth?"  
  
"Always."  
  
"Ok, then. The thought of you with someone else makes me sick to my stomach. I would also have much need to kick his ass all over Newport, but I'd probably have to get Ryan involved there, cuz I'm not much with the ass- kickings. Except on Playstation, of course. I just really can't think of anyone that's good enough for you. But that hardly makes me jealous. Just protective. You know."  
  
She nodded. " Right. Uh huh. Go get ready for bed. Hurry up."  
  
**** 


	18. Lies18

~ Lies 18 ~  
  
"Hey, these are quite the fashion statement." Standing by the bed he looked down at his pajamas. He got in and slid under the covers. "Ahhhhhhh. This feels awesome. Wait. Do you want more fire? I can build it up again if you do."  
  
"Don't even move. I think you've done enough for me for one day - for a lifetime, probably. I'm sorry I'm such a mess. The last few days couldn't have been fun for you at all. Especially today." She looked away from him.  
  
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be. And stop apologizing. None of this is your fault."  
  
"You do know how much. This uh - means to me, right? You helping me? And all this tonight?" She started out haltingly, but got stronger toward the end.  
  
"I know."  
  
"Speaking of friends..." She held up her left hand and admired the ring Seth gave her. "I don't feel right about this at all."  
  
He turned on his side toward her. "Why? If you really don't like it, it's fine. Or - hell, are you scared that I think it's an engagement ring? I thought I -"  
  
"No, no, no Seth. I absolutely love it! You get an A+ in 'Jewelry for Summer' - you could not have picked a better ring for me. And you told me it was a friendship ring."  
  
"Then what's the problem? I don't get it."  
  
"It's just way too much. This is a big diamond and you must have like, spent a fortune and you SO didn't need to do this."  
  
"Whoa. Whoa. Hold up. First of all, I WANTED to buy you that ring. I wanted you to have something.... touchable, something you can SEE that will remind you how I feel and remind you that I can be trusted. So whether I needed to is irrelevant. Next. I have a job. I work for money that I don't need, because in case you haven't heard, my family is ridiculously, obnoxiously wealthy. So shut it about the big diamond and how much it cost. Geez."  
  
Summer sat up and looked down at him. "Did you just tell me to 'shut it'?"  
  
He cringed inwardly and wondered how badly she could hurt him in her condition. Probably a whole lot. "Yes?" He gave her a strained, yet hopeful smile.  
  
"Huh." She looked puzzled.  
  
"Is this going to be a lot painful, or just a little?"  
  
"You know, I think I liked it. Because I feel a lot like kissing you now."  
  
"Ok, did you take too much pain medication? Did you break into the bar while I was in the shower? This is not normal, Summer."  
  
"Shut up." She bent down and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for the ring. It's beautiful and I adore it, but I love the thought behind it even more."  
  
Seth blushed. "I'm glad." She settled back into bed and he grabbed her hand, teasing. "You're sure it's not too much, now? Cuz I can take it back and get a smaller one." He started to pull on the ring. "It's no problem at all."  
  
She snatched her hand away from him. "It's mine, mine, mine. You may touch it only if you are worshipping it as I do."  
  
"Oh hey. I'm sorry, I sort of took over the conversation earlier and then we got off track. About your dad. So far we've determined that you did nothing wrong, you have nothing to be ashamed of, and you're insane for thinking I would look at you differently if I knew. I'm pretty sure there was more."  
  
She reached for his hand. "This is so weird. Talking to you about it."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you're not someone I'm paying to help me think straight again. You're a friend, my age. I never thought this was something I'd talk about. Ever. It's like it's been stuck in my chest always."  
  
"So let it out."  
  
She was quiet a minute. "Since I don't remember my mom, and I really don't remember the beginning of - it, I'm assuming it started after she left. Like I said, as I got bigger, it got worse. Not more often, because it didn't happen very often. Enough time would go by that I was sure it was over, and then - it wasn't."  
  
He squeezed her hand.  
  
"Nanny saw us, that's when it stopped. I was so confused; she was yelling about calling the police, and I was sure I would go to jail because it was all my fault. I never saw her again after that day. She suddenly "inherited" a villa in Italy, a mansion in France, and enough money to retire at the age of 30. Sweet deal, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, real nice. So not only your mom and dad, but your nanny betrayed you too?"  
  
"Yep. I didn't get it for a long time, but yeah."  
  
"So it stopped then?"  
  
"Yeah. I got a new nanny, and that's when he started spending all his time overseas."  
  
"But how can you live here? He does come home sometimes, doesn't he?"  
  
"Ask me something else. You wouldn't understand."  
  
He heard a hitch in her voice, and realized he'd made her cry. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. But remember the card I gave you? Even if you think I won't understand? Give me a chance to."  
  
She moved closer to him. "This sounds so wrong, to me even. One part of me hates him, but one part of me still wants a Daddy that loves me. Not like before, but like a real dad. Plus - where would I go? He's my only family." She was still crying softly.  
  
He gathered her up and held her. "Summer, I don't know all the answers. But you're entitled to feel however you feel, and it seems to me it would be wrong if you didn't want him to love you the way a dad should. Like my dad said recently, that's a parent's first and foremost job - love their kid. We expect it from them. If you didn't want love from someone, you'd be bitter and cold, and wouldn't have that big heart and sweet nature that I've seen."  
  
She didn't answer, just hugged him.  
  
"Is it hard for you to live here?"  
  
She let out a long sigh. "Just because we've never talked about it. He stayed away a long time, then he showed up one day, acting like it never happened. I was still little and I didn't understand why he wouldn't have anything to do with me. Maybe it's guilt, but he barely speaks and he never looks AT me, he looks through me. It's like I'm not here. When I went to the shrink, and things started making sense, I wanted him to at least try to talk about it, apologize, ANYTHING that would acknowledge that it happened and he felt even a little bit bad about fucking up my entire life."  
  
"Ah. That's why you said you feel like a ghost. I imagine looking at you reminds him that he's a fu -. I'm sorry. Biting my tongue now. I'm really sorry, but it makes me crazy."  
  
She looked up at him, suddenly insecure again.  
  
"No. You talking about it doesn't make me crazy. I want you to talk to me as long and as much as you want to. Ok? Summer, I want to HURT him. I want to punish him in the worst way possible, something slow and excruciating - for what he's done to you." He tried to keep his voice even, not wanting to distress her any more.  
  
"Oh." She raised her head to kiss him on the cheek. "There's not much left to say. I mean there a million ways it's affected me, but I'm doing pretty well, other than the relationship stuff you've had to deal with." Her voice lowered. "You know, Seth. I've dated other guys, but it was never like - this. With you."  
  
He thought he'd heard her wrong for a second, then got that he'd heard right, breaking into a pleased smile. "What? - Really? That's - that's awesome."  
  
She raised her eyes to his. "I heard that adorable grin thing you do when you said that!"  
  
"Summer, you can't hear a smile. Wait, did you say 'adorable'?"  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Way the ruin the moment, Cohen."  
  
"Yes, it's what's I do. Extremely well, like a gift even, unfortunately." He sighed.  
  
"It's all right. Are you tired, sweetie?"  
  
"Yes, but I'm game for more talk if you want to."  
  
"No, I'm tired too. I took a pain pill while you were in the shower and I'm starting to feel it."  
  
"Sleep, then." He hugged her and kissed her forehead, hoping she wouldn't roll away.  
  
"Seth?"  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Would you do that thing like in the hospital?"  
  
He grinned, then gently rolled her onto her back and wrapped himself around her from the side. "That thing like this?"  
  
"Mmm-hmm."  
  
"Your wish is my command." He settled against her, sighing contentedly.  
  
"We're going to see Ryan tomorrow, right?"  
  
"If you feel up to it, we're going. If not, I'm going but then I'll come back here to you."  
  
She turned to look at him. "You know you're going to have to stop spoiling me. I'm liking it way too much."  
  
"You are? Ok, next month I stop spoiling you."  
  
"Uh huh. Night, baby."  
  
"Night, Summer."  
  
****  
  
**She knows only warm hands, gliding over sensitive skin with gentle fingers. Lips teasing, a firm touch guiding her down. Eyes locked as solid wiry weight settles on her, claiming her, heightening sweet anticipation coiling inside. Dizzyingly unfamiliar sensation of hot bare skin tingling against her everywhere, feeling naked and vulnerable. Startling, intoxicating. Under a hazel spell, brown eyes yield possession, softening with need. Lashes framing eyes cast downward, dark curls moving below her vision, gathering drifting sparks with his travel. Fingers tangle curly hair; all sight lost as the current flows down with him, crying out and arching beneath as his tongue finds her and lightning strikes.**  
  
Summer woke with a start, immediately checking to see if she was still wearing pajamas. That was one intense dream. One of those that felt so real you weren't sure if you actually were asleep. She blew out a breath. And one of those dreams that got you all riled up. She looked over at Seth, sleeping deeply. The poor guy had been up for around four days, making sure she had everything she needed, worrying over her, and basically saving her life. What if he hadn't been there when the accident happened? What if he'd hadn't stayed with her in the hospital? She would have woke up alone, not knowing what was happening, terrified. He'd handled all the paperwork, got her clothes, kept her company, bought her gifts, held her when she cried, combed out her hair, made her laugh; the list was endless. Today - made sure she took her medication on schedule, made a fire, brought her dinner, offered help in a way no one ever had, and listened to her talk about the most horrible part of her life without judging her - even giving her some fresh insight into it. He'd bought her a magnificent ring engraved with words that meant everything to her. "Trust". "Honesty". She had never known anyone so compassionate in her life. If she couldn't trust Seth Cohen now, there was no one on Earth she could ever trust and it would be a long, lonely life. He had proven his point over and over again.  
  
As she pulled away from him he rolled onto his back. She turned onto her side next to him and kissed him lightly, letting her fingers explore his neck and chest. "I think I'm in love with you. How's that for honesty?" she said quietly.  
  
His hand covered hers on his chest. "Summer, that's twice you've said that now. One of these days you're going to tell me when YOU'RE not unconscious, and you don't think I'M asleep. Just to clarify; when we're both awake and both know it."  
  
"You're awake?!" She smacked him.  
  
"Ow! What happened to PRETENDING to hit me?"  
  
"I'd rather talk about why you were PRETENDING to be asleep! You were so tired, I thought you'd be out till morning." She rubbed his arm where she'd hit him.  
  
"Pretending is such a harsh word. It's like this. I'm still in full-alert babysitter mode and you were moaning, and I thought you were hurt, then I figured out that it was moaning of the thoroughly NOT hurting type; the fabulously opposite of hurt, if you know what I mean and I think you DO; so then you woke up and I thought we'd go back to sleep, but you started with the touchy-feely, and I was just curious to see where THAT might end up. Now you know you can't blame a guy, really, when he's sleeping in the same bed with a beautiful intelligent woman and she makes those" he swallowed hard "uh - noises? Like that? And then starts to touch him, because after all I'm just a seventeen year old walking hormone that's wanted you since I was ten, and now that I know that you - uh - like me, I was just really hoping that you might decide you wanted me too, as in, like a boyfriend. Like your ex-idiot-boyfriend that you might give another chance to. But no pressure, cause it's totally cool if you don't, I'm happy as hell being your friend. Really. I swear on that ring."  
  
"Seth?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Right. Got it. Not talking."  
  
"I'm sorry I woke you up. I know how tired you are."  
  
"Yeah. About that. See Summer? I'm not um - at all tired anymore. In fact, I am really very awake. Parcheesi? Uno? Jenga?"  
  
"Oh wait, let me think about it - NO. I'd rather talk about honesty. And my dream. It was definitely a GOOD dream. An AMAZING dream."  
  
He was quiet for a moment. His tone was cautious. "Aaaand you want to...tell me all about it?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Ok. Summer. I don't know how to play this game. You're going to have to draw me a picture here."  
  
"I can do that. Do you know who was in the dream with me?"  
  
"Brad Pitt?"  
  
"Married."  
  
He thought for a minute. "Oh! I know! Orlando Bloom."  
  
"Such a pretty, pretty man. But no."  
  
"Ok. You said...Matt's hot, but - Ben! Ben Affleck cuz he has dark hair! Oh. No, J Lo.'s touched him. Ewww."  
  
"OhmyGod. I said that? Yikes. I'll give you a hint - this guy has dark hair."  
  
"I give up. I think I forgot why we were having this conversation to begin with."  
  
She laughed at him. "I'll give you one last hint. Look at me."  
  
"I'm looking; I see you." He made a face at her.  
  
She giggled. "Ok. Here's your hint, genius. Listen closely. The guy in the dream with me? I think I'm in love with him."  
  
"Well, that obviously would be -" A slow smile spread across his face. "Me?"  
  
She smiled back.  
  
"I'm just going to uh - kiss you now. Yes. That's what I'm going to do." He rolled toward her and kissed her, then went back for more. "Mmmmm. Nice. So hey! Was I - was I any good? Per se? In the dream, I mean?"  
  
"Did you not hear me moaning?"  
  
He rolled onto his back again, nodding confidently. "I was DAMNED good."  
  
Moving quickly, he rolled back to her and began tickling her while kissing her neck. Summer squealed and shrieking laughter, tried to push him away. "Seth! Stop it!" She suddenly went silent and held her side.  
  
He pulled back instantly, feeling terrible. "Oh my God! Did I hurt you? I thought you were feeling better tonight. I'm sorry!"  
  
Summer looked up at him accusingly, then broke into a grin and started tickling him back.  
  
"Ooh, you vixen!"  
  
They tormented each other for a minute, being careful of her injuries, laughing. Seth pretended to let her get an advantage and she rolled on top, pinning him. "You give?" she panted, breathless and still giggling.  
  
He looked up, laughing, through her hair, tangled and hanging down into her flushed face. She seemed so happy and alive and God - too beautiful for words. He hoped he would always be the one that got to experience THAT smile and THAT blinding light in her gorgeous brown eyes. It ached, he wanted that so badly. His laughter died away and he knew right then that he was in love with her - utterly, terrifyingly, overwhelmingly, struck stupid, crazy in love with her. The realization snapped easily into place around his heart with a completely satisfying "click", just like it was something that had always been missing from that spot. Warmth began radiating through him, triggering his stomach to flip and his hands to shake. He gazed up with emotion-filled eyes and very softly answered her. "I give. You win."  
  
She caught his serious mood, recognizing the intensity of the moment and her laughter stopped. He watched as the smile in her eyes faded, morphing into something profound and electrifying and then she was kissing him.  
  
He would have been content to kiss her like that all night, but after a while she pulled away from him.  
  
"I need to - I'm starting to hurt like this." She carefully slid off of him and turned over on her back. "That's better. I'm sorry."  
  
He turned on his side and propped his head up on his hand. "Yeah. Way to ruin the moment, Roberts."  
  
"I learned from the master. Next lesson, Yoda."  
  
"Ha. Seriously, how do you feel? Do you need a painkiller? It's probably about time for one anyway, right?"  
  
"How do I feel? I feel happy. I feel grateful to be alive. I feel like I should buy you a Porsche for taking such good care -"  
  
"I'm in love with you." He said it quietly, looking down at her seriously and watching her reaction.  
  
Her eyes filled and she lifted her good hand to his cheek. She took a deep breath and gave him that soft smile he loved so much. "I'm in love with you, too, Seth."  
  
He returned the soft smile and lowered his head to kiss the palm of her hand. His eyes flicked up to the clock. "Hold that thought. I'll be right back. Don't move." He got up and got her a glass of water after shaking out her medication, then took it back to bed. "Here, take these. You never told me - are you in pain?"  
  
"Well, my head doesn't hurt at all anymore, my side is just a little achy, my shoulder feels a lot better, my arm hurts, and I'm in love with you." She giggled. "That's so fun to say." She took the pills.  
  
He grinned, happy and little shy. "I - I find it quite fun to hear, also. This isn't a dream, is it, because THAT? Would be a tragedy." He stood by the bed and took her glass when she finished, setting it on the table.  
  
She reached up for him. "It's not a dream. Come back here. Hurry."  
  
He jumped up on the bed and walked across to her, dropping to his knees. "What?"  
  
**** 


	19. Lies19

A/N – PLEASE NOTE RATING CHANGE TO "R" for this chapter because of nakedness and proceedings that on occasion occur while naked. All I'm sayin' is cover the little ones' eyes, ok?  
  
~ Lies-19 ~  
  
Into your heart I'll beat again  
  
Sweet like candy to my soul  
  
Sweet you rock,  
  
And sweet you roll  
  
Lost for you, I'm so lost for you  
  
Touch your lips just so I know  
  
In your eyes, love, it glows so  
  
I'm bare-boned and crazy... for you.  
  
Oh, and you come crash into me  
  
Baby, and I come into you  
  
In a boy's dream  
  
In a boy's dream  
  
Dave Matthews –  
  
She tugged on his pajama top until he bent toward her, then pulled his head down with a hand around his neck, kissing him. "Come down here. We need to celebrate." She raised her eyebrows suggestively.  
  
"Celebrate?" He hesitated. "Summer, I don't want to hurt you."  
  
"You won't. I'll tell you if something hurts."  
  
Looking doubtful, he lowered himself carefully on top of her. "Ok?"  
  
"Better than ok. Mmmmm, I like this."  
  
He kissed her and it felt new somehow. There was no worry in the back of his mind that tomorrow she'd pretend like nothing happened between them. No wondering if her affection for him was real. No, this was genuine and vibrant, with intense feelings escalating to a new level after admitting them out loud to one another.  
  
Seth lowered his head to her neck, drawing circles with his tongue and sucking gently on soft skin. He worked around to the hollow in her throat, then moved lower until the buttons on her pajamas stopped progress. This was all new territory and he felt awkward, but still stoked to finally have access to places he'd only dreamed about. Often. Summer's places. She was his, and he was hers now. Raising his head to check with her, he saw her smile and propped himself up so he could go to work on the buttons. He followed each opening with thorough kisses and nuzzles until he had worked his way down to her stomach and was out of buttons. Rocking back onto his knees, he held her gaze while he pulled her top open and away from her. Lowering his eyes to take it all in, he was afraid he might pass out for a second. He let out a shaky breath. "Good. Lord." After shifting onto his side next to her, he ran a hand slowly down across her flat stomach and then his fingertips slid up again. He lowered his head to kiss her, and she moaned into his mouth as his fingers found her nipple and played gently, teasing her.  
  
He kissed along her neck and across her chest, instinctively taking his time until she was shaking in anticipation. She gasped when she felt a hot tongue flicking across a nipple, then the pressure of his lips.  
  
Summer ran her fingers over his side and stomach, then dipped lower and stroked him through his pajamas. He sucked in a sharp breath and raised his head to look at her with surprise.  
  
"What, baby? Did you think this was a one-way street? You get to have fun too." She ran her fingers down the length of him lightly, and again, delighting in the expression he made while closing his eyes.  
  
"I already was – having fun – Summer. Oh God."  
  
"You want me to stop? I don't think so." She pushed gently against his chest until he rolled onto his back, running her fingers under his shirt across his belly. "Will you help me with these buttons?"  
  
He raised his head and undid buttons as she watched.  
  
"Oooh, look at you. Yum." She ran her hand over a muscular chest as he sat up to take off his shirt. She shrugged one arm out of hers and he helped her with the other side. "Lay back down."  
  
He settled onto the pillows watching her intently as she kissed across his stomach and chest, finally reaching into his pajama bottoms and running light fingers all along him, then tightening her grip. She pushed the elastic band down until he was exposed and took him slowly into her mouth as he drew in a deep breath and tensed up. "Summer," he choked out in a strained voice.  
  
His breathing became ragged as her lips and tongue explored, then found a rhythm. It was such a turn-on to hear his quiet gasps and moans, and feel him shake with pleasure. She gave him just enough to get him really worked up, then stopped.  
  
"Ah – Ah - You're not – like done? Are you? No? You're not? Please?" He panted and raised his head to look imploringly at her.  
  
She smiled at him. "You liked that, huh?"  
  
He rolled his eyes and his head dropped back to the pillow. "That was officially the dumbest question anyone's asked in my lifetime. Maybe since man started walking upright."  
  
She laughed. "Aww, my poor baby. We've got all night, ok?" She lay next to him and kissed him as he reached for her.  
  
He turned over and slid on top of her. "Does that hurt?"  
  
"Nothing hurts, Seth. Stop asking me that."  
  
"Ok. But I have to ask this - Summer, do you know what you're doing? I mean; the drugs in the hospital made you think you were seven years old and Minnie Driver - are you by chance hallucinating that I'm Orlando, Ben or Matt?"  
  
"No! Is that what you think? Pain pills aren't as strong as "happy shots", silly. They just relax you and take the edge off. I know exactly what I'm doing and exactly who you are." She ran her hand over his bare back and pushed her chest against his. "Mmmmm. You feel good."  
  
"As do you." He dropped his head to her shoulder. "But maybe we should stop. Before things get out of hand."  
  
"Seth, I don't want to stop. I think I want things to get out of hand."  
  
Seth suffered an extreme stomach flip again. "You d-do?"  
  
She was suddenly insecure. "You don't want to? I thought – am I too? – I know I look bad with all the bruises –"  
  
"Damn it, Summer, stop that. That has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Repeat after me. 'My boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful.'"  
  
It was quiet.  
  
"Say it, Summer. Now."  
  
"My boyfriend.........Seth thinks I'm beautiful."  
  
"Very good. And I do. Even with bruises you're the – God – most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Now, about the getting out of hand. Of COURSE I want to, are you smoking denial crack?" He moved his hips against her, causing them both to gasp.  
  
She giggled. "I have to say I'm feelin' your point."  
  
He groaned and dropped his head to her shoulder. "Geez, everybody's a comedian. Look Summer; let's think about this logically. You, my foolish girl, were hit by a CAR and thrown into a pillar two DAYS AGO. Case closed."  
  
"You, my irritating boy, weren't there when the doctor said I could resume normal activity, now were you? Case reopened."  
  
"I would imagine by 'normal activity' she meant sitting on the couch watching TV with a bag of chips in one hand and a Diet Pepsi in the other. Ten jurors in my favor."  
  
"I would imagine by 'normal activity' she meant whatever I wanted to do, since that's what she SAID. The court has made it's final ruling."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Is that all you have to say?"  
  
"No. I'd like to add that I can't believe I just argued against having sex. And I hate it when you're right."  
  
"Get used to it, little man. You'll learn soon enough that as your girlfriend, I'm always right. Besides, we were tickling each other earlier and that didn't hurt."  
  
"True, but that only lasted two minutes, and I'm praying to Jesus and Moses that this won't be over that quickly."  
  
She laughed. "I'll send up another prayer for that, Seth."  
  
"Ok. We should be covered then – the powers that be can't deny both of us. Hopefully. So let's back up a sentence. I swear I heard you call me 'little man', which I am not finding humorous."  
  
"It's FUNNY! Oh – never mind." She pushed her hips against his. "Mmrrrrowr. Ok, so little doesn't apply in this case. In fact, I'm afraid that might not fit."  
  
"Wha – What uh - it m-might not whathehellareyoutalkingabout? That's a joke, right? They always fit in porn. Not that I uh, watch porn. It's a funny joke. Flattering, yes, but funny and joke-like. Right? Summer?"  
  
"Kidding!" She called out, laughing at his flustered response.  
  
He nodded sarcastically. "Oh hey! THAT'S right! Take advantage of the virgin. Ha ha."  
  
"So, do you have any other excuses regarding why we shouldn't celebrate, Cohen?"  
  
"Protection?"  
  
"Covered. And I've been tested since I changed my wild ways. A year ago the shrink made me realize I was looking for someone to love the only way my dad taught me. The wrong way. Does that, does that bother you?"  
  
"I don't care about your past. It's you and me here now. One other thing, though." He laid his head on her shoulder again.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"No - never mind."  
  
"Spill it, Cohen. Honesty."  
  
"You know I've never.........never. I'm worried that uh, it'll suck for you."  
  
"Not possible." She stroked his hair. "Quit worrying."  
  
He raised his head and kissed her. "Ok then! I'm thinking we've talked this thing right to death, how about you?"  
  
She nodded thoughtfully, playing along. "Pretty much. You wanna just go to sleep now?"  
  
"Yeah, why don't we? I'm kinda bored."  
  
"Me too." She yawned and closed her eyes, erupting into giggles when he pretended to snore. "You're such a dork."  
  
He slid lower and began working a nipple with his lips and tongue. "Would a dork do that?"  
  
"Uh – no - myGOD Seth - a dork would – oooooh – not."  
  
"How about this?" His head moved slowly down her stomach, kissing and sucking while he continued teasing her nipples with his fingers.  
  
"Ah – no – baby you're notadork. Ahhhhh - I lied."  
  
"That's my girl." He sat up and pulled on the waistband of her pajamas. "Lift up a little and say goodbye to the horsy pj's." He threw them to the side of the bed and waved to them. Grinning, he turned back to her and the smile faded as his eyes slowly swept up her nude body. He breathed "God, you're perfect," and his gaze finally met hers. She'd been watching him with uncertainty, feeling decidedly vulnerable until she saw the awe and desire in his eyes.  
  
She smiled shyly. "Your turn."  
  
He laughed nervously. "Yeah. That might help." He was suddenly unsure of everything as he slid his pajama bottoms off, feeling like a fumbling clueless kid with no idea what to do next. The warm, unmistakable look of affection she gave him relieved most of his anxiety.  
  
"Come here, baby." Her voice was low and had a note in it he'd never heard before.  
  
He stretched out next to her on his side, marveling at her body, hating the injuries that were so apparent now without clothes covering them. He traced lightly across the bruises on her shoulder and broken arm then reached across to the side where the car had hit her. The discoloration ran from under her arm down to mid-thigh and across her hip almost to the middle of her stomach. It looked incredibly painful. "We don't have to do this now, you know. It looks like it hurts."  
  
"How many times have I told you it doesn't? Why are you so paranoid?"  
  
"Oh I don't know, maybe because I SAW the car slam into you and I SAW you knocked into the pillar and I SAW you smash into the ground, and I thought you were dead and it still haunts me. I don't want to be the cause of any more pain. I don't want you to hurt anymore. That's all."  
  
She leaned to kiss him. "Oh Seth, I'm sorry. You're so sweet. I guess I'm lucky - I don't remember it happening. But I PROMISE I'll tell you if you hurt me."  
  
"Ok, Ok. Then quit talking so much. Geez. I'm trying to do stuff here." She rolled her eyes as he grinned at her, then dropped his head to her chest again.  
  
She closed her eyes, feeling the sparks as he moved slowly down her body with his mouth and hands. She had an instant of déjà vu from her dream earlier before his tongue found her and she cried out, arching against him.  
  
Seth sat up, looking surprised. "Did I make you do that?"  
  
She panted twice then spoke. "Seth, for the love of God, shut up and keep doing it."  
  
He smiled and did a confident toss of the head. "I AM damned good."  
  
They explored each other for a while, discovering things the other liked, then trying new ones. They didn't have to speak; she looked at him with need in her eyes, and his own desire reflected back at her, sending the anticipation coiling inside of her into a fever pitch. He settled between her legs and pushed slowly in, then held still as everything faded away and his world consisted of only of Summer beneath him. A few of his senses returned finally, and he realized she was moaning beneath him. He looked down at her. "OK?"  
  
She gazed up, eyes filled with pleasure, and nodded.  
  
He kissed her and spoke through clenched teeth. "That's good, because I've found my newest obsession. To hell with comic books."  
  
He began to move, slowly, trying to remember to be gentle because of her injuries. It felt incredible, and she began moving beneath him, pushing back and sending him deeper. He groaned and opened his eyes to see her watching him with a small smile. He kissed her again and again, trying to convince himself that she was really in love with him and being inside her wasn't just another fantasy.  
  
He'd been holding himself up on his elbows, trying not to put too much pressure on her hip, but she pulled him down on top of her with a surprisingly strong arm. Feeling her breasts pushing against his chest and her entire body pinned beneath him motivated him to move faster, and when she pulled her knees up, he lost control, pushed to the brink by the increased pressure. "Oh God, Summer – I'm –"  
  
She stopped moving immediately. "No, no, no, sweetie. Stop! Quit moving right now!"  
  
Her tone was urgent, and he forced himself to withdraw, hating every second of it. "Uh, why am I being punished again?" he gasped, then muttered "Cruel and unusual – inhumane – which authorities do I alert?" He moved his weight to the side and collapsed partially on top of her. "Are there sex police?"  
  
She rolled her eyes at him. "Quit whining, Cohen - I want this - to be amazing for you. - You don't want to come yet - trust me."  
  
"Trust ME, I DID want to. - And just to set the record straight - we blew past amazing a while back – and were quickly approaching – incapable of speech or rational thought. - Last stop – stunned comatose - Thanks for denying me the experience."  
  
"Shut up." She kissed him, murmuring, "You'll thank me for real later." Her tongue probed his mouth, and he felt the need for her stronger than before, if that was possible. She reached down to stroke him, and finding him still hard, pulled her lips away from his to whisper in his ear. "I want you so badly, Seth. Please? You feel so good."  
  
Her words sent fire streaking through him and he positioned himself over her and began again. "Oh My GOD. It's twice as intense" he breathed. She was writhing under him, moaning for more. After a while, an instinctive urge to go deeper sent his hands to her hips, holding them still as he moved in her at a strong, steady pace. "Does it hurt?"  
  
Her eyes were closed, and she smiled. "Do I – Oh God - look like it hurts? - Oh Seth – I'm so close."  
  
He locked his lips onto a nipple, and she whimpered, grabbing his hand and guiding it lower. He rubbed two fingers lightly where she showed him, and raised his head to watch as she gasped and moaned louder. He moved his hips faster and she began to cry out every time he slid in and he felt her tensing, finally coming with drawn-out moans and hips jerking against his as he continued through her orgasm, watching her eyes, distant and full of raw, primal pleasure. He felt incredibly powerful, having taken her to that place and sent her over the edge, making her feel so good she appeared to be unaware of her surroundings as she rode it out. She called his name in a low husky voice full of passion and she sounded so damned sexy; her body so unbelievably hot as she trembled under him. His need was twisting tighter and tighter inside him and there was only Summer and him, watching one other; wanting to see the other's experience and it overwhelmed him finally, sending white-hot waves of pleasure pulsing through him and he stiffened, straining forward while the intense sensations washed over him again and again, then slowly faded away until he was sapped of strength. He collapsed on her shoulder, gasping for breath. Distantly remembering she was hurt, he shifted off to her side, resting his head on her good shoulder and hugging her close. She lowered her cheek onto the top of his head, and sighed contentedly.  
  
Their breathing gradually slowed and he became aware of her fingers stroking slowly through his hair. He was afraid to speak in fear of disrupting the moment, the air heavy with emotion and the recognition of a new, profoundly intimate bond between them.  
  
He pushed himself up and kissed her, long and deep, then gathered the covers over them, and slid his arms around her from the side, throwing his leg over hers.  
  
She snuggled against him happily. "How did you know? All those years ago?"  
  
"How'd I know what?"  
  
"You said you've liked me since you were ten. How did you know we should be together?"  
  
"It's not like I'm psychic or anything. I was ten. I thought you were pretty. Then I thought you were passionate and funny, a perfect match for me and I wanted to know you. You grew up and got prettier and more sarcastic and witty and I wanted you to know me."  
  
She turned her head and kissed his forehead. "And now I do." She giggled. "BOY, do I!"  
  
"Is this where I'm supposed to ask if it was good for you? Because I will not surrender to the tired cliché. Besides, I was uh – actively participating. From the looks and sound of it, I'm convinced you enjoyed it." He grinned slyly at her.  
  
She rolled her eyes at him. "OhmyGod, you sound like an arrogant water polo player already. Tell me, 'Mr. Inexperienced Virgin', how do you know I wasn't faking it?" He continued to stare at her, raising his eyebrows expectantly. She finally sighed, giving in. "Ok, you're right, it was beyond good. Happy?"  
  
He smirked and nodded. "Uh huh. And you can just call me Seth, goddess. I am no longer a virgin."  
  
"That's right. I made a MAN out of ya. So how about you? You were pretty quiet. Makes it kinda hard to tell."  
  
"Really? I was quiet? That's just weird, considering how I love expressing myself phonetically." He kissed her again and whispered in her ear. "I've never experienced anything that intensely awesome in my life." He rolled onto his back, shaking his head in wonder. "How did this happen? Summer Roberts is my girlfriend! And we just had sex! How did my life go from craptastic to fantasy world that quickly?"  
  
She turned on her side and grabbed his hand. "Because you finally got through to me. I do love you, Seth."  
  
His insides rearranged themselves. "I'll never get tired of hearing that." He kissed her. "And I can't stop kissing you, sorry. Hey! Are you all right? Are you in any pain?"  
  
She grabbed his throat, pretending to choke him. "Will you stop asking me that already? I told you I'd tell you. I hurt a little, that's all. I'm just really sleepy."  
  
He looked over her at the clock. "Whoa! How did it get to be 4am? Come here, girlfriend." He gathered her closer. "You're going to sleep. You need your rest."  
  
"So do you. You're sleeping too, aren't you?"  
  
"Of course I am. It's my manly duty to pass out after incredible sex with my girlfriend. You're lucky you got all this chatter tonight - it's only because I'm a rookie, you know. Next time I'll pass out immediately afterward, ok?" He laughed. "Did you hear that? I was just talking about incredible sex with my girlfriend. Because I actually have a girlfriend and we just had sex. Incredibly." He kissed her again. "And she's you. The girl I'm in love with. Um. Hey. There WILL be a next time, right?"  
  
"Did you get into my pain pills?"  
  
"Noo, no, no. I'm just totally stoked. I'll be quiet now. I'm really tired too. Good night, Summer. I love you." He squeezed her gently.  
  
"Aww. I love you too. Night, baby."  
  
"Wait. One more thing."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Righty and Lefty are fired."  
  
She burst out laughing. "Thanks for the update."  
  
"I thought you should know. Because well, you're sort of replacing them – but not like I'm trading them in, don't think that, because you're like, SO much better there's no comparison. They wouldn't even have any trade-in value, really. Actually? It would be kind of like trading in a 1963 Pinto Wagon for a new Lamborghini. Just, completely useless. God, Summer, that was so amazing. You have no –"  
  
"Baby?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I love you but shut up and go to sleep. We can talk all about it in the morning, ok?"  
  
"Oh yeah. We're both really tired and going to sleep. Right. In the morning. 'Night."  
  
"Good night, sweetie."  
  
****  
  
Seth was dreaming about warm hands and fingers running all along his back and chest and stomach as he slept on his side. They trailed down his arm and continued down his thigh, stopping to rub gently on his hip. Someone warm and naked was spooning against the back of him, and fingers began to make a slow crawl over his hip. He recognized kisses and a hot tongue tracing patterns on his back as the warm fingers found him and traced his length lightly, again and again. He felt a spark ignite inside, growing into a slow burn as the fingers became a hand gripping him gently, beginning to move. He situated himself on his back to give the dream hand better access and immediately felt soft lips warm against his own as the grip tightened, forcing him to take in a sharp breath, then a tongue was probing and he kissed back, meeting the tongue with his own as the burn spread through his body. The lips left his mouth and began traveling down him; the covers disappeared, leaving him chilled. Slowly, the understanding that this wasn't a dream penetrated his brain. He opened his eyes and Summer was kneeling beside him, giving him a quick soft smile, showing him brown eyes gone liquid with desire. She continued her descent with lips and tongue slowly, finally reaching him and teasing until he was ready to scream. She raised her head and crawled up to kiss him, moving her body over his, then she sank slowly onto him as he watched her expression change to open-mouthed pleasure. He arched up under her, his head pushing down into the pillow, and his voice was low and strained. "My life rocks. My life kicks ass. OhmyGod, my life is so much better than everyone else's." Her movements soon began to hurt her so he sat up and hugged her, then rolled her carefully under him. He made love to her slowly and tenderly while overwhelming her with kisses in her hair, on her lips, on her forehead, her neck and throat.  
  
Summer was having an out of the ordinary experience. Seth was being so gentle, handling her like she was porcelain, kissing her everywhere. She was so warm inside, and he felt so unbelievably sweet moving in her, it was unlike anything she'd experienced. Before him, sex was raw lust, usually a short build-up then she would strain for the release while enjoying the closeness of another person, and when it was over she would lie there, feeling more empty and alone than before. She would begin counting, and within five minutes the reasons they had to leave suddenly would be offered with a brief kiss and the inevitable "Call you later" that never happened. On the rare occasion one of them would want to stay, she would find herself making up excuses for why they couldn't, desperate to get away from the clinging boy she suddenly couldn't stand.  
  
This morning she'd opened her eyes, instantly realizing this was the first time she had spent the night with anyone after sex. She'd gone to sleep in his arms, and woke up holding him, suddenly feeling a rush of emotion that nearly made her break down. She'd sat up and looked at him – his hair tousled and his face in sleep as innocent as a child's - in amazement that this honest guy, so open and caring and willing to drop his life to take care of her, had told her he was in love with her. She'd believed him when he said it, but right now she knew it as a certainty, because he wasn't getting laid, and he wasn't just getting a piece of ass. They were making love. Seth Cohen was showing her how much he loved her right now and she knew it like she knew her own name. She could FEEL it.  
  
He kissed her again, still moving so gently, just a little faster, and she was overcome with emotion, hot tears springing to her eyes. He pulled back from the kiss and stopped, concern in his eyes.  
  
"What is it, Summer?"  
  
She whispered. "You love me."  
  
"I do. More than anything."  
  
"Show me again."  
  
He began again, moving in her as tenderly as before, whispering to her between kisses, telling her how much she meant to him, and how happy he was they were together; how good she made him feel, and that she would never be alone again. Her tears were sliding down into the pillow and her pleasure inside intensified. He came, moving deeper, and the experience of feeling his release was so erotic she was suddenly overcome by a surprisingly different release of her own. Sweet, intense bliss rolled through her tinged with the awareness of belonging and love. It slowly subsided and she lay back, weak from the strength of it. He held her and kissed her over and over again as she cried, giving in to the emotion.  
  
She finally became quiet and he started to slide off to one side. "Please don't. You're not hurting me."  
  
"Whatever you want. Are you ok?" He put his head back on her shoulder.  
  
"You love me."  
  
"Didn't we do this already?" He teased her.  
  
"Shut up, jerk. I felt it. It was so different – so easy and good and - satisfying."  
  
"I agree completely. It was nothing like the first time but just as amazing." He yawned. "I'm sorry, but you're wearing me out, woman. And that is in no way, shape, or form a complaint."  
  
"Go back to sleep, baby. I won't apologize for waking you up, though."  
  
"Oh HELL no. Every morning should begin like that. Or some variance of it." He kissed her. "I'm just gonna go right over here, ok?" She smiled and he slid to one side, ready to get back in the position she liked.  
  
"Why don't you go that way, so I can spoon you again?"  
  
"Awesome."  
  
He settled on his side and she pulled the covers up on him, then pressed against his back, sliding her arm around him. "You like that?"  
  
"Mmmm Hmmm."  
  
"Good. Go back to sleep now, Seth."  
  
"K."  
  
**** 


	20. Lies20

~Lies-20~  
  
Seth woke up knowing something was different. He had that sense of anticipation that you get when you're eight on Christmas day, or your birthday. You just knew it would be a good day, better than normal, because something different was happening. Something special. He smelled bacon and coffee and opened his eyes to see Summer silhouetted against the glass wall, leaning back into a chair with her knees up, feet on top of an ottoman. She was sipping coffee while gazing out at the spectacular view of beach, cliffs and ocean below. Thinking of last night, he broke into a smile. Oh yeah. It was going to be an awesome day.  
  
He sat up and stretched, trying to remember where he'd parted company with his pajama bottoms.  
  
"Hey."  
  
He turned toward her with a smile. "Hey yourself. How long have you been up?"  
  
"Long enough to fix breakfast."  
  
He stared at her. "You –you uh – cook?"  
  
She laughed. "Well, duh, I basically live alone. I need to know enough to save myself from starvation."  
  
He nodded. "Right. Hey, have you seen my pajamas? I don't remember where exactly – uh........."  
  
"Try the far side."  
  
He crawled across the bed and hung his head over the edge, calling back over his shoulder. "Nope. Where were yours?"  
  
"Stuffed under the headboard and on top of the bar, respectively. Nice arm, by the way. Try under the covers."  
  
He lifted the covers and looked, feeling around without success; finally just crawling entirely under the sheet and across, due to the massive size of the mattress.  
  
Summer watched the odd-shaped lump move from one side to the other with amusement. A muffled "Found them!" came from the bed, and by the time Seth's head popped out from under the blanket she was giggling uncontrollably with her hand over her mouth; the other hand held her side.  
  
"What? What's funny?"  
  
That made her laugh harder. "You! You don't do anything the normal way, do you?"  
  
"God, I hope not." He stood up and pulled on his pajama bottoms. "Look who's talking. You got hit by a car and spent time in the hospital in order to get me alone and spin your little web around me – just to get me into bed. Seriously, Summer, all you had to do was ask." He ducked as a piece of toast whizzed by his head and he raced across the room to grab her hand before she could launch more at him. "Ah ah ah. That's not very nice; we haven't eaten yet. We only throw the leftovers, remember?"  
  
She giggled as he bent over and kissed her. "Sorry, I forgot. I'm heavily medicated, so my memory sucks. But I DO remember you in bed last night, Orlando. You rocked my world."  
  
"Ouch. And 'Touché', vixen." She made room for him in the chair, then slid onto his lap after he sat down. He kissed her again. "Good morning, girlfriend."  
  
She put her head on his shoulder. "Morning, boyfriend. Are you hungry?"  
  
"Starving. I don't think I ate yesterday."  
  
"That's what I thought."  
  
"I can't believe you made breakfast! Never would I have guessed you as a domestic goddess. Goddess? Yes. Domestic? No. What are we having?"  
  
"Funny. Don't get too excited, it's just bacon and eggs. I was trying to remember what you had that morning after we got the Rover fixed. Was it scrambled eggs?"  
  
"You mean on the way to Tijuana? I don't even remember, Summer. But I love scrambled eggs. In fact, I love anything that isn't a bowl of cereal I've fixed for myself." He looked around. "Is it in the kitchen?"  
  
"Yeah, I put it under the warmer." She stood up and grabbed her coffee and he got up too, both heading for the other room.  
  
He put the food on plates while she poured his coffee and got butter and jelly out of the refrigerator, then they sat down at the table. "Oh. I almost forgot." Smiling, she reached over to the chair next to hers and pulled out the morning paper. He laughed and they divided it up between them, reading and trading sections over breakfast.  
  
****  
  
"Aren't you going to offer me the rest of your toast?" Summer pouted while staring at the front of the financial section he was reading.  
  
He didn't lower the paper. "Do you think you deserve my toast after throwing yours at me?"  
  
"Yes, because I made breakfast for you. It's the least you could do." She slid her hand under the bottom edge of the paper and felt around for his plate.  
  
"You could have taken out an eye with that sharp crust, you know." He slapped her fingers and she quickly withdrew them.  
  
"Se-e-eth!"  
  
"Why do girls turn one syllable words into three syllables? Is that something they teach all of you in first grade or whenever it is you're taught how to get your own way with boys?" He felt a warm foot slide up between his thighs.  
  
"No. They teach the three syllable thing in kindergarten. This however," she began exploring with her toes, "is taught in 10th grade."  
  
"Do you want jelly on your toast?"  
  
"No, sweetie, but how nice of you to ask." His plate slid under the edge of the paper. "Thank you." She lowered her foot to the floor again.  
  
"Oh, truly my pleasure. Summer?"  
  
"Yeah?" She bit into his toast.  
  
"I am now, aren't I?"  
  
She laughed. "Whipped? It's entirely possible. We'll see how the day goes and I'll tell you tonight."  
  
"Fair enough. Do you want to shower first?"  
  
"I kind of wanted to sit in the hot tub for a little while first." The paper came down and she could see his face, full of worry.  
  
"Why? Are you in pain? Did we – did last night hurt you?"  
  
"Seth, calm down. Last night was amazing. Today I'm a little achy is all. No big deal." She smiled at him. "Really."  
  
He folded the paper and laid it aside, standing up. "Ok. Come on, into the hot tub with you."  
  
She got up and started to clean off the table.  
  
"No, I'll do that. You cook; I clean. Where IS the hot tub, anyway?"  
  
"Come on, I'll show you."  
  
He followed her through the main room of the suite into the bathroom, his mouth set in a grim line as he watched her walk stiffly ahead of him, holding her side. She pointed to a door on the far side of the room and he opened it. "I thought this was another closet or something." The door led out to the hot tub and pool area; with the Newport prerequisite infinity pool situated on a cliff much like the one at the Cohen house. "Nice." He turned back to her. "Have you taken your medication?" She nodded. "Ok. Hop in. I'm going to clean the kitchen and I'll be back out to check on you." As he passed her he stopped and hugged her. "I was afraid this would happen. I'm sorry I hurt you."  
  
"Seth, you didn't hurt me - the stupid car did. I wouldn't change last night for anything." She kissed his cheek. "I'll soak in the tub, my pain pills will kick in and I'll be fine. I won't be long, I know you want to get home and see Ryan."  
  
He kissed her. "Take all the time you need. I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
He cleaned the kitchen up and walked out to the pool area with a towel. Summer was relaxing in the hot bubbling water. "How's it feel?"  
  
"Like heaven. Drop your jammies and join me for a minute, Cohen."  
  
He pulled a chair up next to the hot tub and sat down, noting her pajamas in a heap nearby. "No thanks. I think I'd rather just watch the hot naked chick frolic."  
  
"Frolic? Hardly. Actually, naked chick is about cooked. A shower sounds totally fantastic now. Are you going to like, help me? Could you -?" She pointed at the towel, not wanting to stand up nude.  
  
"Seth Cohen, shower aide extraordinaire - at your service." He missed her shyness and hesitation, just holding the towel out for her instead of handing it to her. She walked up the steps of the hot tub and he wrapped it around her, half dazed from seeing her nude again. "I've had – I've seen that – Lord, Summer you're a walking fantasy."  
  
She looked up at him with a shy smile. "Really. So you've thought about me getting out of a hot tub naked before?"  
  
"MY hot tub, as well as many other places naked - um, that answer is most definitely yes. Several years worth of – uh – yes."  
  
"You'll have to tell me all about it sometime, ok?" She looked back over her shoulder toward him as they walked to the house.  
  
He dropped his eyes to the ground and smiled, embarrassed. "I'll – uh – maybe." He looked up in time to see her lose her footing on the wet tile. He lunged to catch her but couldn't get there in time and she went down hard on her already injured hip. "Summer!" He kneeled next to her and watched helplessly as she laid there, her face contorted with pain. "Here, let me help you up."  
  
"No! Oh GOD – it hurts so BAD! Seth?"  
  
He grabbed her hand. "Squeeze my hand, concentrate on that until it eases up." Wincing as she proved to have a surprisingly powerful grip, he ran his other hand over her hair. "Did you hit your head?"  
  
"No."  
  
Noting her tensed up, rapid breathing, he'd had enough. "I'm gonna go get my phone and call an ambulance." She wouldn't let go of his hand.  
  
"No! No ambulance. Please. It's not that bad. Just give me a minute to get up."  
  
"Then I'll drive you. You might have broken something! "  
  
"And I might not have! Just wait, ok?" She pleaded with him.  
  
"Summer, damn it." He let out a heavy sigh. "All right. Put your arms around my neck." She did and he scooped her up, unsteadily rising and making his way into the house. He lowered her onto the bed. "Don't move." After walking to the kitchen, he got a plastic bag and filled it with ice cubes, wrapping a towel around it as he entered the main room again. Summer was standing next to the bed. His voice rose. "I distinctly remember telling you not to move."  
  
"Try to remember you're my boyfriend, not my master, Cohen. I'm fine," she snapped. She took a step on her right side, sucking in a sharp breath and transferring the weight back to the left foot.  
  
"You're fine, huh? Most fine people can walk." He stood with one hand on his hip, obviously angry.  
  
Summer kept her voice even. "Get over it, Seth. Will you please help me take a shower so we can go see Ryan?"  
  
Throwing his hands up in the air, he turned on his heel and stalked into the bathroom without a word, starting the shower and getting towels out of the linen closet. Her eyes narrowed and she started hopping on her good leg toward the door; he came back, shaking his head, and grabbed her elbow.  
  
"OW!" She quickly shook his hand off. "Don't touch me! I'll do it myself. I'm obviously a big pain in the ass - take a break."  
  
"I never said you were a pain in the ass! Where did THAT come from?!"  
  
She straightened her arm, checking out her elbow. It was bloody and skinned all down her forearm. "Great. Like I need more ugliness on my body." She continued hopping to the bathroom while Seth took a deep breath and closed his eyes in frustration.  
  
"Let me help you, Summer." His voice was flat.  
  
As she reached the bathroom door she turned around. "I don't need your help."  
  
The door slammed shut and he stood there for a few minutes, not knowing what to do. It was like the whole weekend hadn't happened and they were back at square one again. Suddenly determined, he walked to the bathroom and opened the door, crossing the room to the huge shower. "I'm not going to let you -!" Opening the shower door, he found her huddled on the floor, crying under the stream of water. He stepped in and sat with her, ignoring the fact that he was still wearing his pajama bottoms. "Oh God, I made you cry. Look, Summer, I'm sorry I acted like that. I'm just really worried about you and I'm trying to take care of you. Apparently I'm not going about it the right way."  
  
She wouldn't look up. "Maybe I'm not very good at being taken care of. I just feel so stupid, falling when I'm already such a mess. I keep thinking that you're going to get sick of me needing help all the time."  
  
"Ok. Summer. NOW you're being stupid. First of all, it was an accident. Second, you should know that taking care of you makes me feel useful, like I'm helping you somehow. I know how independent you normally are, so it's good to know that you need me sometimes. Ok?"  
  
She finally looked up. "I'm sorry too, Seth. I don't want to fight. I just don't want to go back to the hospital. I want to stay here with you."  
  
He hugged her. "I know you do. And that's what I want too, but if you're hurt worse from the fall, then you need to get it checked out. Tell you what. Let's get cleaned up before we run out of hot water, go to my house and see how you feel in a little while. Then we'll decide if you should go to the emergency room. Does that sound fair?" She nodded, and he helped her up. "I'm glad you at least covered your cast before you got in."  
  
"I was mad, not stupid, Cohen. You DO realize you're in the shower with your PJ's on, right?"  
  
"Yes. Yes I do. They weigh 20 pounds right now." He shucked them quickly and reached for the shampoo. "Don't take this the wrong way, but it's the epitome of weirdness to be naked in front of you."  
  
"It's not like when we were in bed, is it? I'm not very comfortable either, if that helps."  
  
"It does." He smiled at her. "I guess we were concentrating on other things in bed." He washed her hair and gently bathed her with a cloth, being careful around her sore spots. "Your arm looks pretty bad. It saved you from hitting your head, though."  
  
"It really stings, but other things hurt worse right now."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Baby, it's not your fault." She kissed him while rinsing under the stream of water.  
  
"Ok, you're done." The door opened, sending steam billowing through the room. He wrapped her in a towel, walking her safely out before returning to the bathroom for his shower.  
  
When he came out again and entered the suite, she was struggling with her jeans. He pulled his own on. "Want some help?"  
  
"Please." She let them fall to the floor, defeated. "This is so frustrating. I can't even dress myself!"  
  
"It's only for a little while. You'll be as good as new soon." After she stepped into them he pulled her jeans up and fastened them. "Are these going to be ok? I can run up to your room and get sweat pants or something if you want."  
  
"I think these will work."  
  
"All right. Do you want one of those lacy bra thingies?" He couldn't help staring at her chest, cocking his head with a small smile. "It's like scenery abuse to cover them up. And very sad for me, also."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "No bra. Sounds painful."  
  
"Ah, yes, you've given me a little happiness back. Too bad about the shirts, though." He went to the open suitcase and took out the tops he'd picked for her and her socks and shoes. After he'd helped her get dressed, he stood back and studied her. "You look so good right now." He finished dressing and she looked down at her clothing, then over at him.  
  
"Huh. Where have I seen this outfit before, Cohen?"  
  
"Um. Hey, did I tell you that you look really hot? Those shoes rock, woman."  
  
"Hot. Uh huh. Do you mean the shoes that are exactly like yours?" She laughed. "They are comfortable, I guess." She looked in the mirror over the dresser. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but this outfit is pretty cute." She looked back at him. "At least I match."  
  
****  
  
With an arm around her, he helped her walk from the truck up the steps to the front door. "Wait a second, ok?" He leaned back against the door and put both arms around her. "Before we go in and see – other people – I want to tell you something. "He looked to the side, trying to gather his thoughts. "I hate that you're hurt, don't get me wrong, but I'm glad we got to spend all that time alone together and I'm SO happy about -" he gestured from himself to her a couple of times and looked her in the eye, "this. Between us. I almost hated to leave your house because it's like our own little world and now everything else is going to – interrupt it. I realize that's selfish, but this is so awesome, Summer, you –"he looked away again, then at the ground beside them. "You have no idea."  
  
She touched his cheek and made him look at her. "Yes I do. You may have wanted this longer than me, but I promise I'm just as happy as you that we're together." His eyes shifted away. "You don't believe me?"  
  
"Well, last night was - I guess I do, I mean, I don't think you're lying – it's just hard, Summer. I'm used to pissing you off and disgusting you."  
  
"You never disgusted me, you'll always piss me off, and pretty soon you'll be used to me loving you. Come here." She kissed him. "I do love you, Seth."  
  
She gave him that soft smile and he melted inside, hugging her close. "I love you too. So much."  
  
They were still in the middle of a long kiss when the door opened behind him. "Seth, is that you? I heard a car – oh wow. Sorry guys! Um, I'll just –"Sandy shut the door and went to the kitchen, grinning. "That's my boy."  
  
Seth and Summer came in a minute later. He helped her over to the couch and Sandy came back into the room.  
  
"So guys, sorry about that. I heard the car and you didn't come in and, well, sorry."  
  
"Father, now you know how I feel tripping over you and mom sucking face all over the house. Consider that payback."  
  
Summer gave him a look. "Seth." She turned to Sandy with a serious expression. "It's ok, Mr. Cohen, really. We're sorry."  
  
"Please, call me Sandy."  
  
"Um, ok. Sandy, I'd like to thank you for letting him stay with me in the hospital, and everything. He's been such a big help and I don't think I could have gotten through this without him. It's been horrible and I don't know what I would have done, all by myself." She began to tear up. "I can't even get up the stairs to my room at home or like, comb my hair or cut my food by myself. And thank you so much for all the legal things you did for me. I really appreciate it." She managed a sad smile.  
  
He went over and hugged her, surprising her. "You're welcome, Summer. I know how hard this must be for you. How are you feeling? Seth said you weren't doing so well today."  
  
"Not really, no."  
  
Seth cut in. "She was in the hot tub and she slipped getting out and fell on her bad side. Landed right on the same hip the car hit."  
  
Sandy looked horrified. "Summer! You should see a doctor."  
  
"Yeah. Dad. We've already had that argument. She doesn't believe it's serious, so we'll wait a while and see how she feels."  
  
He looked doubtful. "Well, ok, but don't wait too long."  
  
Summer turned to Seth, quickly changing the subject. "Let's visit Ryan. I want to see how he's doing." Seth nodded.  
  
"I'm sure he'll appreciate the company. He's pretty down." Sandy shook his head.  
  
Seth held out a hand to Summer. "Come on, girlfriend. I'll help you totter out to the pool house."  
  
"Oh - nice verbal skill, Cohen." She rolled her eyes and looked at Sandy. "I totter now. Isn't he sweet?"  
  
Sandy laughed. "Seth, why don't you go get Summer something cold to drink and I'LL help her out to the pool house. I want to talk to Ryan anyway."  
  
"Ok. Hand off." Seth ducked under as Sandy put his arm around Summer. "Be careful, Dad, sometimes she lists to the starboard side."  
  
Her eyes narrowed. "Now I'm a boat?"  
  
Sandy shook his head. "And you let him kiss you?"  
  
"I know, right? What was I thinking?"  
  
Seth came back to kiss her quickly. "That you love me." He headed back to the kitchen.  
  
His dad's eyes widened as Summer turned to him, nodding wryly. "It's true. I'm in love with your son."  
  
Sandy winked at her. "And do you think the blow to your head and subsequent concussion might have something to do with that, Summer?"  
  
"Hey!" Seth yelled from the kitchen.  
  
"It's certainly a possibility, isn't it?" She laughed.  
  
"Hey! I heard that!"  
  
****  
  
When Seth got to the pool house, Sandy was just leaving. "Try to do something to cheer him up."  
  
"Yeah. Ok. My best comedy routine, coming up." He rolled his eyes and went in.  
  
"Hey, Ryan. How's – Oh, dude." He stopped abruptly inside the door. From what he could see, Ryan looked worse than Summer. He was currently slumped against her with his head on her shoulder as she hugged him, both sitting on the bed. Wearing only a wife beater and shorts, dark bruises were visible on both legs and arms. One ankle was in a cast and both hands were bandaged, with the bandages winding further up one arm. The side of his head above the ear had been shaved and a long cut closed with many stitches was visible.  
  
Seth put three sodas on the bar and went down the steps to sit by Ryan on the bed, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Are you all right, bro? I mean – obviously you're not, but – wow. For the first time since you got here I think I'd win the 'pretty boy' prize over you."  
  
"Seth!" Summer looked dismayed.  
  
Ryan gave a short laugh and sat up. "Any humor is good right now. Even yours." He turned to Seth they hugged.  
  
"I am so glad you're –ok, for the most part. I was completely freaked for a while, not knowing what happened with you and Marissa after she took off. Then I saw the car wreck on the news."  
  
"I know; the whole thing is just.........unreal. I didn't know the car hit Summer until I woke up in the hospital," he turned stiffly back to her, "I'm so sorry you got hurt; I shouldn't have tried to get the key, I didn't think –"  
  
Summer put a hand on his shoulder. "Ryan, none of this is your fault. We were both trying to stop her – I just got in the way. Seth even told me not to get too close to the car. It was all a horrible accident."  
  
Seth sat on the floor so Ryan wouldn't have to turn back and forth between him and Summer to talk. He leaned against Summer's leg and she dropped a hand onto his shoulder. "Is there any new news on Marissa?"  
  
Ryan shook his head. "Still waiting for her to wake up."  
  
"Dude, I know how bad that part sucks." He looked at the floor. "Summer was unconscious for a ridiculous amount of time. Scared the hell out of me."  
  
"Awww, honey. That's sweet. But I thought you said you were flirting with nurses?"  
  
"No, Summer, I said the nurses were flirting with me. There's a difference." He cocked his head indifferently at Ryan. "You know how it is, man. They're bored; they've got nothing to do all night, so they'd come into the room every fifteen minutes, right? And talk and giggle."  
  
"Did you ever think they were just doing their job, checking on an unconscious patient who'd been hit by a car, and thought it was nice to see someone awake to talk to in the middle of night?"  
  
Seth looked hurt. "Dude. Stop it. You're ruining my nurse fantasy."  
  
Summer smacked him on the side of the head. "Excuse me, your what?"  
  
"Ow! Normal teenaged male thoughts, thank you very much." He turned to look at her. "You know, we could get you a nurses outf –"  
  
Ryan quickly held his hands up in front of him. "Stop. Please."  
  
"Yeah. Sorry dude. I suffer from an overactive imagination, and damn - have you SEEN my girlfriend?"  
  
Ryan nodded, smiling at Summer over Seth's head. "I get it, man; I just don't need details."  
  
Summer bent to kiss the top of Seth's head. "Nice save, Cohen."  
  
"Whew. Got out of that one." He turned around on the floor to face her, putting his arms around her and she kissed him again.  
  
There was a tap on the door, and Ryan started to get up, calling "Come in".  
  
The door opened and Anna walked in, stopping short as she saw Summer and Seth, still kissing. "Uh, hi. Everyone."  
  
There was an awkward moment as the three of them looked at each other, then Ryan continued over to the door, shutting it behind her. "Hey Anna, come in. How are you?"  
  
"I'm good. The question is - how are you guys?" She sat uncomfortably in a chair, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. "So, I saw Summer's car wreck on the news, and you guys haven't been at school, and I was worried. About all of you. They didn't give names on the TV, just that people involved were critically injured, so I thought I'd stop by to see if everyone was all right and if there was anything I could do. If I'm intruding........."  
  
Seth waved a hand dismissively. "Of course not. It's – it's good of you to come by." Summer and Ryan chimed in their agreement, and Anna relaxed a little.  
  
**** 


	21. Lies21

~ Lies 21 ~  
  
Ryan looked from Anna to Summer and figured that Seth and Anna might need to talk. "So Summer, maybe we should go to the house and get some chips and more soda."  
  
Summer looked at him like he'd lost his mind. "Ryan, I can't walk by myself and also? Apparently I 'list to the starboard side' sometimes." She shot Seth a glare, and Ryan and Anna laughed. She turned her attention back to Ryan. "And you're on crutches. We'll both end up in the ER again." She smiled at him to soften her sarcastic tone. "Clearly Seth and Anna should go."  
  
Ryan gave her one slow nod. "Uh yeah. That might work better. "He looked confused and mildly embarrassed.  
  
Summer looked at him with sympathy. "Sweetie, it's the meds you're on, that's all."  
  
Seth jumped in. "Oh, that is so true, bro. You wouldn't believe some of the things she's done and said while 'chemically impaired' these last few days. She was so funny! This one time -"  
  
"Shut it, Cohen. Take Anna and go get some chips and soda, will you?"  
  
"Please, you guys, I know what you're doing, but really, no one needs to leave. Unless you actually do want food." Anna looked over at Summer. "I was surprised to see you two, um – together now, but it's ok. Since the minute I met Seth, it's always been about you." She laughed. "I think the next guy I date should have very little in common with me."  
  
Seth had been oblivious that Ryan and Summer were trying to give him time alone to talk to Anna. It finally dawned on him. "Are you sure you don't want to talk? I don't want this to hurt your feelings, not that I think I'm all that, or anything, and we didn't plan this beforehand, it just sort of.........happened. I'd hate it if things were weird for anyone. For you. "  
  
She waved a small hand in dismissal. "I'm fine. Let's get to the important stuff. How is everyone? I'm assuming from the condition Ryan and Summer are in, they were in the car wreck. So where's Marissa?"  
  
Everyone looked at the floor, then Ryan spoke softly. "She's in LA, in the hospital. She just had surgery again, and we're waiting for her to wake up."  
  
Anna's eyes widened in shock. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Will she be ok?"  
  
Summer spoke. "We're not sure yet. Coop was hurt pretty badly." Seth reached up for her hand, hearing the hitch in her voice.  
  
"Oh, you guys. This is so awful! So Summer and Marissa were in the wreck?"  
  
"Actually, Marissa and Ryan were in the car when it crashed. The Corvette accidentally hit Summer when it took off." Seth squeezed his eyes shut as the video in his head replayed those last moments again. He'd let Ryan tell her how it all really happened if he wanted to. It wasn't his call.  
  
"Seth, would you mind helping me?" Summer gestured to the bathroom. "I don't think I can get up the steps."  
  
He rolled his eyes. "You can't get TO the steps by yourself." He turned to Ryan. "She fell getting out of the hot tub, right on her already bruised hip."  
  
Ryan grimaced. "Ouch."  
  
"Exactly. But she won't go to the emergency room to see if it's broken."  
  
"Oh, great. I SO wanted you to tell everyone, Cohen. God." Summer looked away in embarrassment.  
  
"Well, Summer, if everyone agrees with me, maybe you'll realize you should go. "  
  
"It doesn't hurt that bad!"  
  
Seth rolled his eyes and took a sarcastic tone. "Hmmm, and can we think of a reason WHY it doesn't hurt that bad? Oh, I KNOW! Maybe because you're already ON pain medication? Try to walk. Go ahead." He made a sweeping motion with his arm, urging her on.  
  
She took a step and hissed at the sting in her hip, quickly moving back onto the other foot.  
  
"You should really go, Summer. Just to be safe." Anna watched her sympathetically. Ryan nodded in agreement.  
  
Seth smirked at her with an 'I told you so' face while gestured toward Anna and Ryan. "Dad said the same thing. NOW will you go? Please?"  
  
She heaved a long sigh, irritated. "I suppose." She glared at Seth. "Don't think that just because you're right this time, it means anything."  
  
He glanced at her wryly. "It would never cross my mind, princess."  
  
"Princess?! Jackass."  
  
Seth pressed his lips together and nodded knowingly. "Oh yeah. I see where this is going. You're trying to start a fight so you can pout and I won't make you go to the hospital. Not gonna fly, chickie. Come here." He bent to kiss her as she scowled. Finally she brought a hand up to his cheek, kissing him back.  
  
Anna looked away uncomfortably for a second, not noticing Ryan watching her. Turning back to them, she saw Summer's ring and commented on it, hoping to break the kiss. "Oh wow, is that a new ring, Summer? It's amazing! Where did you get it?"  
  
Summer held out her hand and admired it, too. "Isn't it just too gorgeous? I absolutely love it. It's – it's a gift. From Seth." She looked quickly to him, worried that the admission would hurt Anna.  
  
Anna 's eyes widened, but she continued to smile. "It's an.........engagement ring?"  
  
"Oh no. Nothing like that. " Summer quickly corrected her. "It's a friendship ring."  
  
"Oh wow. Nice sized diamond for a friendship ring."  
  
Seth dropped his head back and looked to the ceiling in resignation for a moment. "Holy jewelry etiquette. Not you too. I'm a GUY. I wasn't aware that the diamond in a ring crosses over a specific and predetermined line of significance, progressing from 'friendship' to 'engagement' when it reaches a certain carat weight." He glanced at Ryan. "Did you know about this mysterious rule?"  
  
Ryan looked bewildered and shook his head. "You bought Summer a diamond ring?"  
  
"Dude, I know you're on drugs, but try to keep up here. So ladies - I did not consider the size of the diamond. I bought this particular ring because I liked it and thought Summer would like it and enjoy wearing it. I wanted to – uh - it just means, well – what she said. Friendship." Seth didn't know how to explain and he really didn't feel the need to. The ring was something special to just the two of them, representing things that no one else needed to know or understand.  
  
"Ladies? Plural?" Anna stared at Summer. "Is he saying that YOU told him it was too big?"  
  
Summer looked down at the ring sparkling on her finger. "Don't sound so surprised - of course I did. I told him I didn't feel right about it. But I'm totally over it. It's mine, mine, mine now." She raised her eyes to Seth's and they shared a warm gaze.  
  
"Huh. A non-materialistic Summer. Who would have guessed?" Anna muttered under her breath. She raised her voice. "That's really sweet Seth. The ring is beautiful. "  
  
"Let's get you up the stairs to the bathroom, then we're leaving. Look on the bright side. You get to be Queen of the hospital again."  
  
"I can't wait." Summer replied sarcastically. She lowered her voice and muttered to herself. "Beheadings all around."  
  
Anna turned back to Ryan as they headed for the bathroom. "So what happened, if you don't mind my asking? Did you forget you were in a real car instead of a Playstation car? A little "Grand Theft Auto" action gone wrong?"  
  
Ryan smiled ruefully. "Not so much. Marissa was driving, she ran a red light, and two cars hit us. Summer's car rolled and caught fire."  
  
"I know! I saw it on TV, and I thought Summer and Marissa were in it! When none of you guys came to school, I didn't know what to think."  
  
"It was just a really.........bad day. All around. It bothers you seeing them together, doesn't it?"  
  
Anna looked up quickly at him. "No! It's fine." Ryan raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to one side, disbelieving. "All right." She sighed. "What I said before was true. I was surprised, but I understand it, I guess. I know he's been crazy about her since the second I met him. But yeah, it hurts."  
  
"I'm sorry." He spoke softly. "I know how it feels. Marissa and Luke, you know. Before the Ferris wheel incident."  
  
"I'll live." She stood. "Well, I should be going. I just wanted to make sure everyone was ok. I'm so sorry about Marissa; I hope she's all right. If there's anything I can do, please let me know."  
  
Ryan stood up, grabbing a crutch. "Where are you headed?"  
  
"Home, I suppose. I left school early." She made finger quotes in the air. "I'm very 'sick', you know."  
  
He took a deep breath. "You could stay a while and hang out with me and Sandy. Wait with us. I mean, if you wanted." He and Anna had always gotten along, ever since that first dance lesson at Cotillion practice. She'd accepted him, the car thief from Chino, immediately, and he'd always felt comfortable around her. They were friends, he guessed, and it would be nice to have someone to talk to that wasn't involved in the whole mess.  
  
She thought it over. "I don't want to intrude. I'm not family or anything."  
  
"You're a friend, Anna. All the Cohen's care about you."  
  
Her anxious expression softened into a smile. "All right."  
  
Seth and Summer limped back into the main room. "I'm taking 'Her Royal Stubbornness' to the ER now. Anyone want to come? Share the thrill of hard plastic chairs in the waiting room and feel your soul cleansed by the overpowering antiseptic smell?"  
  
"Well, when you put it like that – no. I've had enough hospital time." Ryan gestured to Anna. "We're going to wait for word on Marissa. Are you guys coming back here?"  
  
Summer nodded firmly. "Yes."  
  
Seth rolled his eyes. "If they don't keep her, then yes."  
  
Ryan smiled a little. "Let us know, ok? And I'll call your cell if we hear anything new."  
  
Seth went to Ryan and they did the man-hug thing. Summer hugged Ryan, the two of them not letting go for a long minute. Summer was tearing up when she pulled away finally. "We'll be back in a little while."  
  
Summer turned to Anna, appearing unsure, then hugged her awkwardly and whispered in her ear. "I know this can't be easy for you and I'm sorry. Like Seth said, it just kind of happened and we didn't intend to hurt your feelings."  
  
Anna looked surprised and hugged her back shyly. "I appreciate you saying that." They pulled away from each other. "I'm so glad you weren't hurt worse. I hope you're ok."  
  
"Thanks. I'm sure it's fine and everyone will feel all kinds of silly for making me go. Take care of Ryan, ok? I could barely move yesterday, so we couldn't come over, and he's been by himself all this time. I feel so guilty."  
  
Ryan shook his head. "Sandy's been hanging out with me. All I did was sleep anyway; you didn't miss much."  
  
"Yeah, but still." She looked to Seth.  
  
He nodded solemnly in agreement. "We have extreme guilt issues, Ryan."  
  
Ryan pointed to the door. "Go. Get her checked over and come back."  
  
"All right, man. We'll call." Seth turned to Summer. "Come on. I'll race you."  
  
"Hilarious, Cohen."  
  
* * * *  
  
Seth broke into Summer's thoughts as she watched Newport speed by through the window of the truck.  
  
"You're awfully quiet. Is everything ok?"  
  
Without turning, she answered him. "I'm fine, Seth."  
  
"Look, I'm not trying to tell you how you feel, but I can tell by your voice that you're not. Fine, that is. What's up? Are you still mad about going to the hospital?"  
  
She sighed. "It's just, like, a bunch of things are going through my head, and I'm not sure how I should feel about anything."  
  
"You should feel however you want to feel. Pick one and tell me about it, maybe I can help."  
  
She watched as the houses sped past and there was only beach and ocean to be seen. "I'm not mad, I'm scared about the hospital, is all."  
  
"I'll be there with you. We'll deal with whatever happens."  
  
She was silent for a moment. "I wonder what would have happened if Anna had been hit by a car and you'd taken care of her in the hospital?"  
  
"Ok. Summer. Uh - What? Completely lost over here."  
  
She closed her eyes, ending the view of water and blue sky like she'd erased it. "I felt so bad for her in the pool house. I know how much she liked you, and I just kept thinking it would have killed me to see you with her, kissing her like that. So it makes me wonder if SHE'D been hurt somehow, would you have ended up with her? Like we are, now?"  
  
Seth's jaw tightened. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you're accusing me of being with you out of sympathy. Like any female that got hurt in my presence would immediately have me feeling so much pity I would tell them I'm in love with them and buy them a ring. I thought you understood, but I guess I over-estimated our relationship."  
  
She cringed at his harsh tone and finally turned to look at him. "Seth, that's not how I meant it! I know you care about her, that's all. I just wondered if spending that much time with her would end up, like, with the caring turning into love."  
  
"I can't say it wouldn't. I DO care about her. But the di-"  
  
Summer interrupted him, having heard exactly what she'd feared he would say. "Just stop. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." She turned back to the window, miserable, with silent tears sliding down her cheeks.  
  
"Damn it Summer!" He pulled the truck to the side of the road and killed the engine. "Look at me." She turned to him reluctantly. "I wasn't done talking. You just assumed the worst and gave up on me." He reached across and grabbed her hand; fingering the ring he'd given her. "Remember what's written in here? I was trying to give you an honest answer, but you didn't let me finish. I wasn't lying when I said I was in love with you. You have to trust me."  
  
She looked at the floorboards. "But you said you would have ended up with her." Her voice was small.  
  
He sighed with frustration, and managed to keep his voice even. "No, Summer, I didn't. I said I care about Anna, and it might have turned into love, if we'd been in the hospital together instead of you and I. Now. This is the part you interrupted. The difference between you and Anna would be that I'm IN LOVE with you. Anna I might love. As a friend. Like Ryan or, well, Ryan, since he's my only friend. Even if I was stupid enough to confuse the two, because I am after all - a guy - that has no experience in this sort of thing? I would realize at some point that you were the one I'm supposed to be with. Because you are."  
  
"Oh." She lifted her eyes to his. "Sorry. I just – I'm just -"  
  
"Insecure and scared. I get it. I'm sure the trust issues aren't just going to disappear like they were never there. But here's a news flash for you, Summer: you're going to have to find someone else to have your trust issues with, cuz I don't care how many times you doubt me or question me, the argument is always going to end like this." He held her face in his hands. "I love you. Deal with it however you have to, but you're stuck with me now. There is no one else I want; there is no one else I would even consider being with. All I see is you. Any other questions?"  
  
She melted inside. "Oh-h-h. Baby you're SO sweet. But how do you do that? You say the most amazing things, but if I read them somewhere, I'd think they were cheesy."  
  
He kissed her quickly. "It's another one of my many gifts. Love is cheesy, girlfriend. Like Cheetos – it's the Cheesiest. " He started the truck and pulled back onto the road.  
  
"I thought that was Kraft Macaroni." She stared at him thoughtfully. "I really wish we were at home together, in bed."  
  
"Amen, Sister Summer – uh, that sounds um – never mind. Blasphemous - would be a good word. Among others. Just forget I said that. So, you're feeling amorous because of my charming yet romance novel-esque affirmations of love?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Then be assured that I will spend my time in the waiting room crafting more cheesy dialogue for you."  
  
She smiled at him. "Cohen?"  
  
"Yes, my ambulatory challenged pet?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
He smiled back at her, then returned his eyes to the road. "I know."  
  
****  
  
"Oh Ryan, that's horrible. You have to know it's not your fault, though! There's no way you could have known she'd react like that."  
  
He dropped his eyes to the floor. "Everyone keeps telling me that, but it still feels like my fault. I should have waited to break up with her."  
  
"Who's to say it wouldn't have turned out worse if you'd waited for a 'so- called' better time?"  
  
He raised his eyes to her, unconvinced. "I don't see how it could turn out worse."  
  
"Someone could have died. You, Summer, or Seth. Who knows what she might have done at a different time or in a different place?"  
  
He spoke quietly. "She might die."  
  
Anna crossed the room quickly to sit next to him. "And she might not. You have to think positively, Ryan. And remember that this was all a horrible accident."  
  
He nodded absently.  
  
"Hey. Do you want to go in and talk to Sandy?"  
  
He shook his head.  
  
Looking around the room, Anna noticed the sodas Seth had brought out earlier. She got up and grabbed two, opening Ryan's and handing it to him. She saw the pain and tension in his face. "So how do you feel? Are you in pain?" She pushed a few pillows against the headboard. "Here, lie back. I'll bet you're not supposed to be up, are you?"  
  
He shook his head again, and slowly pulled himself around to lie on the bed. She tucked another pillow under his broken ankle. "Do you have pain medication?"  
  
He closed his eyes. "You don't have to do this, Anna."  
  
"We're friends and I have strict orders to take care of you. Now answer the question."  
  
"They make me feel weird."  
  
"They also make you feel better." She laughed. "People pay drug dealers big money to feel that kind of weird, dummy."  
  
He pointed to the bedside table and she got some out for him. After swallowing them, he laid back. "Thanks." She curled up on the foot of the bed and they thought their own thoughts in companionable silence.  
  
**** 


	22. Lies22

~ Chapter 22 ~  
  
Anna looked around the expansive room trying to think of a way to get Ryan's mind off of the accident. She recognized one of Marissa's jackets hanging next to Ryan's near the door. A pair of her shoes sat next to his under the shelves by the bathroom. A framed photo of the two of them laughing was on his bedside table, capturing a happy moment of time on the beach. A large image of the couple hung behind the bar, both of them dressed formally. "Ryan? Are you awake?"  
  
"Yeah." He sighed. "Sorry. I'm a lot of fun to hang out with, huh?"  
  
"Stop it. I didn't stay for the entertainment value of the situation. I was just wondering if you felt like getting out of here for a while? Maybe we could drive down to the beach. If you feel up to it, of course. What do you think?" Leaving a room filled with memories of his girlfriend could only help.  
  
He looked doubtfully at his ankle, then to his crutches. "It sounds good, but...sand?"  
  
"Don't worry about that. You won't even have to get out of the car." She knew of a secluded stretch of beach where you could park near the water.  
  
"Ok." He still looked miserable.  
  
"Great! I'll run in and tell Mr. Cohen. Be right back." She got as far as the door, then stopped and spun around. "Or – do you need help?" He didn't seem strong enough to make it across the room on his own, never mind all the way out to the front of the house to the car.  
  
He gave her a small, amused smile. "I think I got it. Thanks."  
  
She put a hand on her hip. "Don't sound so condescending, tough guy. Have you LOOKED in a mirror lately?"  
  
After one of his inscrutable side-ways glances, he said nothing.  
  
Anna shook her head. "Sorry, but you don't intimidate me. But hey, look at it this way. You've proven to everyone in Newport that a car is the only thing able to thoroughly kick your ass."  
  
Ryan finally laughed. "I'll meet you out front. Hurry, in case your car wants a piece of me, too."  
  
****  
  
Seth looked around the small room from his chair. "Can you believe they let me come in here with you?"  
  
"It's not the same as last time, Cohen. I'm not unconscious after being like, attacked by my own car." She turned her head to look at him from the bed. "I'm glad you're here, though."  
  
He smiled warmly at her. "Me too. Oh hey. Here's something weird - Why do you suppose it feels so very wrong for you to be in bed without me? Is that normal?"  
  
Summer made an exaggerated "Ah ha!" face. "I KNEW something was wrong!" She patted the bed beside her. "There's plenty of room here."  
  
He glanced quickly at the door, and then back to her with a grin. "Doctors' always take forever to show up." After sitting on the bed, he leaned over to kiss her. Her arms went around his neck, and uncomfortable, he got on one knee and shifted to his other side, facing her and lying down on the edge of the small bed. He broke a kiss and looked at her, preparing to speak.  
  
She put a hand over his mouth. "Cohen, if you ask me if you're hurting me, I swear I'll call for security," she warned him, then removed her hand.  
  
He immediately looked hurt. "I wasn't! I was going to say something sweet - and extraordinarily charming, too – about, uh - how wonderful you are, but – but now you've ruined it."  
  
She rolled her eyes and stared at him, not buying it.  
  
"Ok! So I might have been concerned about you. Is that so bad?" He went in for the kill, using the puppy dog eyes against her.  
  
She sighed, not able to resist him. She smiled softly. "No, it's not bad. But how many times do we have to do this? I know you're just taking care of me, but you need to trust that I'll tell you if you hurt me, ok?"  
  
"Yeah, like you did last night? You could barely move again this morning, Summer."  
  
"Seth, for the LAST time - it didn't HURT last night! It was incredible, baby - I didn't feel bad until I woke up."  
  
"Oh. You never told me that part. You promise?"  
  
"YES! Now shut up and kiss me."  
  
He kissed her and she put her arms around him again.  
  
The door opened. "Miss Ro-"  
  
Seth sat up quickly, turning to look at the door in surprise. He promptly lost his balance and fell to the floor.  
  
"-berts? Mr. Cohen!! Seth? Are you all right?!"  
  
Summer looked over the side of the bed in horror. Seth was sprawled on his back, groaning. "OhmyGod, Seth! Are you ok?"  
  
He nodded slowly, his eyes closed. "I'm good. Awesome, really. Could you both look the other way please? Because I may cry. And uh, yeah. Ouch."  
  
Dr. Mead knelt beside him. "What hurts?"  
  
"Besides my shredded pride? Let me just narrow this down for you to what hurts the worst. And that would be my arm -" he tried to raise it and quickly abandoned that idea, "Owww! And my ass-uh, rear end."  
  
The doctor quickly felt her way along Seth's arm. "Well, we'll have to X- ray, but I'm fairly certain that you and Miss Roberts will have matching broken arms, Mr. Cohen."  
  
"Oh no!" Summer slid as far to the side of the bed as she could, reaching down to him. He lifted his good arm and gratefully held onto her hand.  
  
Dr. Mead went to the phone. "Margaret, can you see if another bed is available?...Good. Send some orderlies with another gurney to room 2, please. Yes, Miss Roberts' room. Thank you." She turned and looked down at Seth. "Are your parents available this time?"  
  
"My dad's at home."  
  
"We'll need to contact him."  
  
"Um, Dr. Mead?" Summer looked at her hopefully. "Could I – maybe – call him? I don't know if he can take another strange voice giving him bad news on the phone. You know, with Seth's brother and everything?"  
  
"Of course." She moved the phone onto the bed with Summer.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Seth spoke up from the floor. "So Dr. Mead. How long before the entire hospital knows?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Well, we're aware that the whole place was talking about us last time we were here, so it stands to reason that..."  
  
"Oh, I see. It won't take much time for Margaret to figure it out."  
  
"Fabulous."  
  
Dr. Mead smiled down at him. "They can only speculate on what happened for sure, Seth. Will it help if I say you fell, not that you fell off the bed you were for some reason sharing with your 'maybe – maybe not' um, friend?"  
  
He closed his eyes. "Yes. Thank you. I'd hate to give anyone an advantage in the 'are we or aren't we together' betting pool."  
  
There was a tap on the door, and the orderlies came in and moved Seth onto the gurney.  
  
"I guess I'll see you in a while, Summer." He smiled wanly at her as they rolled him out the door.  
  
"Bye, sweetie. I'll find you when I get done."  
  
****  
  
He heard the door close, and opened his eyes to see his father. "Hey, Dad."  
  
"Are you all right, son? What happened? Summer wouldn't give me any details." Sandy took a chair by the bed.  
  
Seth closed his eyes again and silently thanked Jesus and Moses for the best girlfriend in the world. "I fell. I – uh – tripped. Over something trip-worthy. Here's the good news – my ass isn't broken. The bad news? My arm is."  
  
"Oh no! Seth, I'm sorry. Can a person really break their ass, though?"  
  
Seth sighed. "Yes, Dad. Hey, where's Ryan? You didn't leave him home alone, did you?"  
  
"Not at all. Anna took him somewhere before Summer called; she thought it might do him good to get out of the house. I agreed with her."  
  
Seth was surprised. "She did? That's pretty cool, I guess."  
  
Sandy nodded. "I didn't know she and Ryan were friendly."  
  
"They are. We've all hung out."  
  
Another doctor came in, and Sandy left while they cast Seth's arm. After taking care of both sets of paperwork and getting directions from Margaret, he tapped on Summer's door. Dr. Mead answered. "Hello, doctor, I'm Sandy Cohen. I'm looking for Summer Roberts?"  
  
"Please come in, Mr. Cohen. I've just finished her examination."  
  
Summer looked up, surprised. "Hey, Mr. Cohen. Seth's in another room."  
  
"I know; he's getting his cast right now. I came to see YOU. How are you doing?"  
  
"Oh. Really?" She smiled, pleased and a little shy. "Thanks! I'm fine, just like I told everyone. Oh, I'm sorry. Dr. Mead, this is Seth's dad; Mr. Cohen, this is Dr. Mead. She was my doctor last time, too. And her husband drove my ambulance. Isn't that cool?"  
  
"Very cool, indeed. Now I know how Seth knew so much that he shouldn't have. Thank you for helping my son and Summer out so much."  
  
"It's our pleasure, Mr. Cohen. These two remind my husband and myself of another young couple ten years ago." She lifted Summer's hand and checked out her new ring. "Except I didn't have a ring like that! Summer, it's beautiful! Is that from Seth?"  
  
Summer looked from the doctor to Sandy, suddenly timid. Sandy's face had gone white and he looked as though he needed to sit down. "Yes. He bought it last night. But it's not an engagement ring, Mr. Cohen – Sandy, "she hurried to add. "It's just a friendship ring."  
  
Taking a chair, he let out a long breath. "Good to know. Now. I'm not sure if I want you to tell Kirsten that or not, because the diamond in your 'friendship' ring is bigger than the one in her engagement ring."  
  
Summer laughed. "Well, don't say anything to Seth about the size of the diamond; I told him it was too much and he got all offended. But you know something? It's not like your wife couldn't go get a bigger ring if she wanted to. I'm sure she totally loves the one you got her and wants to keep it, because it's from you."  
  
"You think?" Sandy, surprised, looked from Summer to the doctor.  
  
Dr. Mead and Summer both nodded.  
  
He crossed the room and hugged Summer, then stepped back. "I KNEW we should have had a daughter, too. Men need help with these things, you know? Seth and Ryan and I don't have a clue what's going on half the time with Kirsten! We need another female around to help us out. I have a great idea! Summer, you could be the newest honorary Cohen. The boys and I definitely need you. And Kirsten wouldn't feel so outnumbered!"  
  
Summer immediately teared up and looked quickly down at the sheet she was lying under. Being wanted or needed in a family was a completely unfamiliar feeling and she didn't trust herself to speak without breaking down. Nobody needed to know how touched she was; she didn't want either of them pitying her or her life. It wasn't so bad, and she had Seth now.  
  
Sandy continued. "Of course I know you have your own home, but you can stay with us anytime you want. Sometimes it's nice to have a crowd around. But then you'd be the lucky one, because you can leave when we start driving you crazy."  
  
A voice came from the doorway. "And we will, without a doubt. Father, I'm all for this idea, but –"he looked over his shoulder into the hall, then came in and shut the door. "-you must never, ever, under any circumstances, think of her as my sister." Seth walked to the bed and kissed Summer. "Because of that."  
  
Summer held on to him, concerned. "Hey. Are you ok, baby?"  
  
"Ha! I knew it!" Dr. Mead blushed as they all turned to look at her. "Sorry. First person to confirm you two are together wins the pot."  
  
"There really is a bet?!" Seth shook his head. "How much do you win?"  
  
"It was up to $500 last I heard." Seth and Summer stared at her, surprised by the amount of money involved. She shrugged. "We have fun when we can. Different bets all the time. It helps everyone focus on the good – we see a lot of awful things here. This will be the first time I've won, though!"  
  
"Well, I'm glad it was you. Seth said you and your husband kept him out of the psych ward when he brought me in." Summer smiled. "Do we need to like, make an announcement or something?"  
  
"If you'd like. But first we'll throw the men out and I'll go get your paperwork together while you get dressed. Out, gentlemen."  
  
****  
  
Anna looked over at her passenger and smiled. Ryan had the seat back a little and was watching out the open car door as the waves rolled into the sand. He looked relaxed for the first time today. "The sun's going down soon. Are you comfortable?"  
  
He nodded. "Thanks."  
  
"I'm a little cold; I think I have a sweater in here somewhere." She turned and leaned over the seat into the back, unzipping her bag and pulling out a warmer top. "Hey! I forgot – I've got a blanket back here. I can spread it out right by your door so you can get out, if you wanted."  
  
He turned to look at her as she settled back into her seat. "Do you want to?"  
  
"Sure. It seems more natural to be on the beach when you're on the beach. You know?"  
  
He raised an eyebrow. "I think so. Let's do it then."  
  
She spread the blanket and he got out, holding on to the door for support as he lowered himself to the ground.  
  
Sitting next to him, she shook her head. "You're so independent. I could have helped you."  
  
"Hey, I'm learning to ask for help sometimes. Just not that time." He leaned back onto his hands, and finding that uncomfortable, sat back up. He turned away from her. "You are helping me."  
  
She laughed. "How? By dragging you to the beach?"  
  
"Yeah. It's good here. I can think."  
  
Anna wasn't sure if he'd would, but thought it worth the effort to try getting Ryan to open up. "Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
He shook his head slowly. "There's nothing to say." He still wouldn't look at her.  
  
"Sure there is. You could tell me how you're feeling. Or what you're thinking." He was silent and she felt like she'd crossed a line, or pushed him too far. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. It helps to talk sometimes, is all."  
  
He lifted a hand to wave off her apology. He took a deep breath. "I feel guilty. Like it's my fault."  
  
"Ryan, no. It was an accident, an awful one, but completely not your fault. Summer's ok, and Marissa will be too."  
  
He turned back to her. "Not the car accident."  
  
Anna stared at him, puzzled, then realized what he was saying. "No. Don't even think it. Look, you're not responsible for her mental health. You couldn't save her from it because that's just not how it works. It was never up to you."  
  
"If I'd paid more attention I might have seen it. If I'd looked harder, I might have realized she was slipping. I should have known."  
  
"I don't understand, Ryan. I thought she snapped when you broke up with her?"  
  
He looked down at the sand in front of them. His voice was low. "When I look back now, I see things that should have tipped me off and showed me she wasn't doing so well. What if I didn't care enough? I thought I did." His voice broke. "I LOVED her. Why wasn't that enough?"  
  
She put a hand on his shoulder. "Someone else's love doesn't keep people sane. Their OWN emotions do that. You were nothing but a good influence on her, and unless you're psychic, you had no way of knowing what she was feeling. She covered it too well. I'll bet her parents didn't even know she was losing her grip."  
  
He continued to stare at the sand. "If I was such a good influence, then why was she cheating on me? Why did she go to someone else?"  
  
"Oh Ryan. She was -? "Anna was shocked. This she hadn't expected. "She wasn't in her right mind. And that proves it, because she loves you, I know it."  
  
He sighed heavily. "Can we go back now?"  
  
"Of course. Whatever you want." He pulled himself back into the car, and she folded the blanket, throwing it in the back seat. During the ride home, he stared out the window, quiet.  
  
**** 


	23. Lies23

~ Lies - Chapter 23 ~  
  
Seth's occasional mumbling could be heard over the sound of the movie. Anna, sitting on the floor in front of Ryan, hit the pause button. "Seth, is there something you want to say that's more important than the scene where Legolas flips backward onto his horse? Because I'm thinking there's not. And it's coming up soon, so – what are you mumbling about?"  
  
Summer raised her head from his shoulder where she'd been comfortably dozing. "Numbers." She yawned. "He keeps saying numbers." She let her head fall back to his shoulder.  
  
"I'm calculating the odds of someone breaking their arm while actually IN a hospital. The non-probability amounts are staggering. If you consider –"  
  
"Stop. While the odds may be on everyone's side but yours, it happened. I'm sorry you tripped, and I'm sorry you broke your arm, but here's a positive thought. You match Ryan and Summer with the cast and the glazed eyes from painkillers. Can we watch the movie now?"  
  
Summer, sitting in the middle of the two boys, looked from one to the other while Seth and Ryan looked back and forth between the three of them. They all turned their heads in unison, looking at Anna.  
  
She raised her hands in front of her. "Oh no. I won't be breaking anything just to fit in with the crowd, thanks."  
  
"Things happen in threes, you know. Ryan, Summer and Cooper all got it at the same time, then me. I'd be careful if I were you." Seth nodded, teasing her.  
  
"Obviously, you're NOT me, because you'd know I don't believe in those old wives' tales." She had a grim look on her face.  
  
Ryan nudged her with his good foot. "Hey. Are you ok?"  
  
She turned back toward the TV and looked at the floor. "Yes. I'm sorry I'm snapping at you, Seth." She sighed. "I'm just upset about all of this. You guys are hurt, and nobody knows how Marissa is, and I feel...I don't know how I feel. "  
  
"Helpless? Like you should be doing something but you don't know what?" She nodded slowly. "Trust me when I say we're all feeling it." Seth looked down the couch at the other two as they nodded.  
  
"Maybe we should do something then. It seems pretty obvious to me." Everyone looked at Summer. "I mean, I think I'd feel better if I could at least SEE Coop. Ryan? What's gonna make it better for you?"  
  
He shook his head. "I don't know."  
  
"C'mon, there has to be something. What's the first thing you think of when you remember the accident?" Summer's voice was soft.  
  
He closed his eyes. "I want to talk to her. Tell her I'm sorry." He turned to Summer. "But she can't hear me anyway."  
  
"You don't know that, sweetie." Summer's eyes got a faraway look.  
  
Anna joined in. "She's right. A lot of doctors think unconscious people can hear everything going on around them."  
  
Ryan shook his head again. "Mr. Cooper wouldn't want –"  
  
"Dude. He's blaming himself, not you. He'd be happy that you came."  
  
Ryan raised his eyebrows in question.  
  
Seth nodded. "True story. Dad told me. And it wasn't your fault anyway, so quit thinking it."  
  
"Just like I told you – it wasn't your fault." Anna smiled at him.  
  
Summer looked up at Seth, seemingly in deep thought. "You were watching while I was floating."  
  
He glanced at her, amused. "Summer, what did I tell you about taking only the prescribed doses of meds?"  
  
"I was so happy it was you and not Daddy. Because I like you best."  
  
Seth felt the hairs rise on the back of his neck and he sat up, watching her intently as Anna and Ryan looked on, puzzled. The last time he'd heard her say 'she liked him best' was their first night in the hospital, when she'd been the child-like seductress comparing his apology to the one she never got from her father. He didn't get the floating reference, though. "What's that mean, I was watching while you were floating? What do you remember?"  
  
Anna interrupted them. "What's going on?'  
  
Seth held up a hand to quiet her. "Summer?"  
  
Her eyes cleared and focused on him. "I just got, like a flash of something, like I remembered thinking or saying that. But I don't now." She shrugged.  
  
"Think hard. See if you remember."  
  
"Why? What is this, Cohen?" She was tired and her head hurt.  
  
"Please. Just try to remember, then I'll explain. I promise. Try hard."  
  
She thought for a minute, then her eyes opened wide as it came back to her. "Oh! It's like a weird dream. I wake up in a hotel room, like when I was little and my dad took me places with him for his business. And I see someone sitting beside the bed, asleep with his head on it, but he's looking away so I don't know who it is. That's when I thought that. Or said it, I don't know. I knew that the person was always with me while I was asleep and I was safe, I felt it – no, I KNEW it. Positively. Then he woke up and looked at me and it was you, and I was so happy it was you and not Daddy. Your eyes were like – totally talking to me and I knew you really cared so much about me, and it made me cry." She looked around at the others. "Bizarre, huh?"  
  
Seth stood up, excited, and started pacing. "Summer, that happened; it wasn't a dream! Remember how I told you about you waking up in the middle of the night and telling me about your daaaa – uh, that one thing? That you wrote about?" She nodded. "That's exactly how you woke up. I fell asleep sitting by the bed with my head on it by your hip and I woke up and looked at you and you were smiling at me for a minute and I was so glad you were awake finally and then you started to cry!! You were awake for like a half hour or so, and we – we talked about stuff; I told you what happened and where you were hurt then you went back to sleep and didn't remember any of it the next morning. Dr. Mead said unconscious people do that a lot, for various reasons. This is so freaky! And awesome! I can't wait to tell her!"  
  
Anna was perplexed. "What's so exciting about remembering waking up in the middle of the night? We all do that sometimes."  
  
"She remembered me talking to her while she was out!" He turned to Summer. "You said you KNEW I was watching while you floated, which obviously means while you were unconscious. So listen - I started talking to you right after I called the ambulance. Cause I thought you might be scared or think you were by yourself and Emily heard Nicolas so I thought it was worth a try. I told you over and over again that I was there with you and that I wouldn't leave you and kept talking to you about all kinds of stuff in the hospital room. You heard me while you were unconscious! That's how you knew I'd been watching you when you first woke up!"  
  
Summer looked amazed. "Wow! You watch General Hospital too? That is WAY freaky, Cohen. Really cool, too. The unconscious stuff, I mean."  
  
"But that's pretty slim evidence, Seth. I'd be more inclined to believe it if she remembered something specific that you said to her while she was asleep. But it's extremely intriguing, no doubt about it." Anna looked to Ryan and he nodded.  
  
"I smell an AP Science paper being written in your head right now. Something's burning." Ryan gave her a half smile.  
  
Anna blushed. "Am I that obvious?"  
  
Seth, Summer and Ryan nodded.  
  
"Ok, people. So it's settled, then. We go visit Coop tomorrow." Summer yawned again.  
  
Ryan nodded and slowly stood, grabbing his crutches. "I'm kinda tired, too. Anna, could you, uh - help me get out to the pool house?"  
  
She smiled and got to her feet. "Sure. I'd hate to worry about you falling in the pool with a cast on your leg."  
  
Seth's jaw dropped. "Wait! Did I just hear my "Mean-Streets-of- Chino–raised" brother ask for help? Is Satan playing hockey in hell right now?"  
  
"Very impressive, Ryan. I'm shocked." Summer winked at him.  
  
Ryan rolled his eyes and sighed. "I should have known better."  
  
Summer and Seth stood and each hugged Ryan. Summer finally pulled away from him. "You're getting pretty good at that too."  
  
He looked at the floor. "It's not as hard as asking for help," he mumbled. He glanced at Anna.  
  
"Let's go." She walked near him, guiding him around various obstacles. She opened the door and he slowly made his out as she followed.  
  
****  
  
"I'm sooo tired. Can we sleep together, or will your dad get all parental about it?" She kissed his shoulder.  
  
"He's really not paying much attention. Now if Mom were here, there'd be all kinds of serious talk about girls-don't-sleep-with-boys-because-they- might-find-out-they-have-different-parts-that-feel-good-when-introduced-to- each-other- OhMy! um – parenting going on. But we have to go home anyway, Summer."  
  
"You are home, Cohen," she reminded him dryly.  
  
"No, no, I'm talking about our – our place, at your house, you know? Where I get to have you all to myself and I get to discover more awesome things about you, and - and us. "He motioned between the two of them. "This."  
  
She raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Not the sexual things, if that's what you're thinking. Not that I don't uh – of course I'm FULLY invested in the sexual discoveries, so much so that if the NYSE had "Sex Stock" and it should ever um – bottom out, I'd be a completely penniless man, THAT'S how much I'm invested in the sex part, but right now I'm talking about just you, not you and, uh – sex."  
  
"Oh yeah!" She agreed brightly, then rolled her eyes. "Which is why you just mentioned the word "sex" 5 times in under 15 seconds."  
  
"No! Really! I thought you might have thought that I meant that – meant sex, and I don't want you think that I thought that, because I don't think that at all. Not even a little. I told you I loved you BEFORE we had sex, remember? I want us to talk, and– and laugh, and have fun like this morning. Before you fell, of course, but that's all I meant."  
  
Summer closed her eyes and leaned back against the couch. "My head hurts and you completely lost me with all the thinks and thoughts but it doesn't matter." Smiling, she looked over at him. "I want to go home too. I can't get up your stairs to the guest room anyway, right?" She winked.  
  
"Exactly. Great minds think alike." He stood. "I'll let Dad know and then we'll go."  
  
"Seth?"  
  
He stopped and looked back. "Yeah?"  
  
"The fact that you were worried what I thought and made sure I knew it wasn't all about sex?  
  
"Uh huh?"  
  
"That makes me want to go home and have sex with you."  
  
"It does?" He looked confused as she nodded. "Ok - I seriously need to write this down because – because... You are such a huge mystery."  
  
"OhmyGod, Cohen, you don't need to write anything down. Just be yourself. It got you this far."  
  
"So – so I don't totally suck at the boyfriend thing? Because frankly, I'm pretty worried, never having been in love before or anything. With someone that felt the same way. You know. Like this."  
  
Her eyes softened. "Aw, honey, you're not sucking at all! Just the opposite."  
  
He looked more worried. "Ok. But the opposite of suck would be to - to blow. So I blow?"  
  
She laughed at him. "No! Seth, I would have lost my mind without you through all of this. And you've only been my boyfriend since last night. So, that means you're not only a great friend; you're a great boyfriend. Stop worrying, sweetie." She laid her head back onto the couch again. "Did I stroke your ego enough?"  
  
"Quite thoroughly, thank you. But really, all this talk of sucking and blowing and stroking has to stop, naughty girl. We're both injured now and I think sex is out is the question, no matter how much you beg me."  
  
"Cohen! You started – That's not what I -!"  
  
He grinned and headed for the hall as she threw a pillow at him.  
  
****  
  
Ryan dropped his crutches and sat down, falling back onto the bed. "It took 5 minutes to go 50 feet." Groaning, he rubbed the back of his neck.  
  
"Aren't your pain pills working?" Anna watched him sympathetically.  
  
"I guess. My ankle's not throbbing like it was."  
  
"What about the rest of you? I would think getting thrown around inside a rolling car would make everything ache." She sat on the bed.  
  
"Yeah. There's that."  
  
She checked her watch. "Then we need to fix you. When did you take your prescriptions last?"  
  
He turned his head to glance at the alarm clock on the nightstand. "It's time again."  
  
After getting him some water, she handed him his medicine. "Take these. I'll be right back." Heading into the bathroom, she found two large towels and soaked them in hot water, wrung them out, then returned to Ryan. "Take your shirt off. Do you care if the bed gets a little wet?"  
  
He opened his eyes and slid them sideways to look at her appraisingly.  
  
She blushed. "Ok, since you had your eyes closed and didn't SEE the towels I can understand how that might have sounded like a come on. It's not. Just take off your shirt and lay on your stomach, ok?"  
  
He pulled his legs up onto the bed and turned over, then removed his shirt. "You're awfully bossy. I kind of like it."  
  
She hit him with a towel. "Behave or you're on your own." Crawling up beside him, she laid the hot towels across his shoulders, back, and lower back, trying very hard not to notice the muscles under his tanned skin. When she was done she moved back to the foot of the bed and stretched out. "How's that?"  
  
"Good. Really good. Thanks."  
  
"Let me know when they cool. It's too bad you can't get in the hot tub. That would feel great on your sore muscles, but obviously destroy your cast."  
  
"Don't remind me. I stared at it all day."  
  
"I thought you said you slept?"  
  
He sighed heavily and turned his head toward her, pressing his other cheek into the comforter. "I tried. Every time I pass out, I – dream about it. So I made myself stay awake."  
  
"Your dreams were that bad?" Her voice was soft and her heart went out to him. He not only lived through a nightmare, he was still having it when he tried to rest.  
  
"Yeah. She's yelling and it doesn't..." He trailed off. "They're bad." He shut his eyes, as if he were willing the memories away.  
  
"You can tell me. Maybe it will help. If you want," she hurried to add.  
  
"It's not that I don't want to. I just don't talk about stuff. It's hard for me." He didn't want to offend her.  
  
"Ryan, you don't have to. Just know that I'll be here for you if you ever want to."  
  
He hesitated a minute, then reached across the bed to take her hand. "Thanks."  
  
She looked down at his hand over hers. "No problem." Her eyes drifted up his gauze-wrapped forearm to bruised and battered skin over hard biceps and shoulders. His body was totally unlike Seth's, which was actually the only boy's body she'd ever had her hands on. Seth was surprisingly well muscled under the camouflage of his shirts, he was just thin and wiry. She'd briefly noticed Ryan was well built before, but never dwelled on it. Seeing him half-dressed? Well, suddenly she knew why girls flocked around the athletes of the world. There was such a huge desire in her to know what that bicep felt like under her fingers, and the urge to run a hand soothingly over the muscular valleys and hills on his back was overwhelming. As her gaze slid higher she suddenly found herself locked on a pair of ice blue eyes studying her own. They showed no emotion and she had no idea what he was thinking about her embarrassing foray into lust. She sat up quickly. "So. Have your towels cooled off? I'll bet they have." She pulled them off of him and, dragging her eyes away from his back, headed to the bathroom. "I'll just heat them up again for you."  
  
She waited until her cheeks cooled, then went back to the bed, determined to stop thinking about Ryan's muscles. He was a friend, and he was hurting from a horrible wreck and worried about his true love. She had no business – "Ryan! Is that – is that from the seatbelt?"  
  
He'd turned over onto his back, and a long, wide red welt covering even more bruised flesh ran from his right shoulder down his chest and stomach, disappearing under the jeans covering his left hip. He nodded once. "Before it broke. I thought the heat might help." He held up a tube of something. "The doctors gave me this for it, but it still..." He looked away, uncomfortable telling her how much pain he was in.  
  
"And I made you lay on your stomach! Why didn't you say something? I'm so sorry!"  
  
"Don't be. My back was hurting as bad as the front."  
  
She walked over to him, dropping the towels onto the bed. "What'd the hospital give you?" He handed her the tube. After examining it, she took off the cap. "This is really good stuff. Maybe you're not putting enough on. Why don't we try it again, with the heat, and see if it helps?"  
  
He shrugged. "I'll try anything at this point."  
  
"How many pain killers have you taken today?"  
  
"Just the four you made me take."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "And you wonder why it hurts so much. Geez."  
  
"I told you they make me feel weird."  
  
She grabbed the vial and took out another tablet, handing it and the water to him again. "Take it."  
  
He sighed and obeyed.  
  
She picked up the tube of cream. "Here. Put this on again." After watching him struggle to apply it with his burned hand, she took pity on him, sitting next to him on the bed. "Lie back. No wonder it didn't help you." She grabbed the tube from him and opened it, squeezing a thick line along his wound.  
  
"This is humiliating. I can't walk, can't even put on my own medicine."  
  
"I'm sure it's frustrating for you, but it's only temporary." Trying to decide which end to start on, she was struck by the definition of muscles in his chest and stomach. Biting her lip, she blinked hard.  
  
"Is something wrong?"  
  
"No! Not at all." Avoiding his eyes, she concentrated on rubbing the crème onto his shoulder as gently as she could, leaving a thick coating on the welt. "Am I hurting you?"  
  
He was quiet for a second. "No."  
  
She barely heard him, his voice was so low. Continuing down his chest was, annoyingly enough, a thrill for her as the feel of his hard pectoral muscle under her hand was even better than she'd imagined. He was smooth and hard and her fingers sliding across skin was disturbingly erotic. She reminded herself that he was in love with Marissa and she still cared about Seth and these feelings were very, very wrong. His voice brought her out of her thoughts.  
  
"It was pretty bad watching them, wasn't it?"  
  
She sat back, thankful for the opportunity to get her hand off of him.  
  
"It's weird, because they've both been so nice about it that I can't be angry. Seeing them together makes me realize how right they are for each other. Seth and I – we never had sparks. We didn't have that connection they so obviously do." She averted her eyes.  
  
"But?"  
  
"It still hurts. It makes me sad." She felt the tears coming and leaned forward again, rubbing the crème in across his flat stomach. She did it as gently as she could, hoping not to hurt him. While turning her head and wiping a stray tear against the shoulder of her shirt, she caught his eyes. Startled by the intensity of his gaze, she began to pull away, only to feel his hand holding hers in place on his stomach.  
  
"Don't."  
  
Anna was suddenly afraid. His strength scared her, his muscular body frightened her, her need to touch him completely terrified her, and the intense look in his eyes pierced her, seeing right through to her desire. She shivered.  
  
His voice was very soft again. "Those are sparks, Anna."  
  
"I'm scared."  
  
He immediately let go of her hand. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't -"  
  
She got up and grabbed the towels, hurrying back into the bathroom. As she ran them under hot water she tried to calm the thoughts whirling in her head. She'd enjoyed spending time with him today, no matter how bad the circumstances. She genuinely liked Ryan and was impressed by his efforts to turn his life around. Things were easy and uncomplicated between them, which was a welcome change from all the confusion regarding the triangle between herself, Seth and Summer. And she had to admit, Seth was high maintenance. In the end, he'd finally picked no one and she was ok with that, but seeing them together today had made her feel somehow inferior and cheated deep inside. She had never considered Ryan as anything other than Seth's new brother and Marissa Cooper's boyfriend. Until tonight. Kissing Seth was always sweet and good, but she knew in her gut that kissing Ryan would have her on fire in a matter of seconds and that's what troubled her. She laughed ironically. Ryan Atwood had just completely killed her previous idea of what 'sparks' were.  
  
Moving almost mechanically, she returned to the bed. He was lying on his back still, with an arm over his eyes and he sat up as he heard her, guilt all over his face.  
  
"Sorry. Really. I don't know what I was thinking." He looked sincere, and miserable again.  
  
"It's ok." She motioned for him to lie back, then arranged the hot towels on his chest and stomach as he watched her, surprised. "You're NOT thinking, and that's because you're hurt and worried about Marissa. Mix in all your unfounded guilt and the drugs I forced down you, and you have someone looking for some comfort. It's natural, and I'm the closest warm body." She returned to her place at the foot of the bed.  
  
He sat up quickly, startling her again, and the towels slid onto the comforter and into his lap. She expected him to yell, from the look on his face, but his tone was soft.  
  
"No, Anna. You are not just a warm body. I may have been looking for comfort, but it was from you because I – I like you; I always have. We're friends, and the way you go about things impresses me, and... I'm sorry." He lowered his head to study the towels on his legs. "I wasn't trying to just use you. I shouldn't have done it anyway. I don't know why - I just -"  
  
"Got caught up in the sparks?"  
  
He slowly lifted his eyes to hers, and they shared an intense moment. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I felt it too. It was too much; it terrified me."  
  
His eyes narrowed in concern. "It wasn't like that before? With –?"  
  
She cut in, not wanting to bring Seth's name into the conversation. "Never."  
  
He laid back and pulled the towels onto his chest again. "Why don't you come up here and lie with your head on the pillow, and we'll just talk. I'm ready to talk, if you'll still listen."  
  
Feeling instantly calmer, and glad that he felt like he could confide in her, she crawled up the bed, lying on her side next to him. "Of course I will."  
  
**** 


	24. Lies24

A/N – I really appreciate all of you that have stuck with this seemingly endless story. I promise it's not endless; it's just that these characters won't shut up so I can wrap up all the loose ends. I love hearing your thoughts, so thanks to everyone reviewing as well as those just reading.  
  
~ Lies-24 ~  
  
Summer stood in the middle of the room and looked around it, feeling unusually content and happy. How strange to think that a guest suite in her home felt more like an oasis from the harsh realities of life than her own bedroom upstairs. She knew exactly what Seth meant when he'd called it 'their' place. They had both begun new lives here last night, together. They could forget the rest of the world and just be a couple; exploring all the new feelings they shared. She watched as he knelt to light a fire, studying his lean outline against the orange glow in front of him. Last summer she never would have guessed at the strength he had inside of him. Coops' overdose in TJ had been the first time he surprised her, staying calm and holding it together while she'd been reduced to a sobbing puddle of anxiety. She didn't need to see anything else after this past week. He'd kept a level head throughout the terror filled minutes in the Cohen's driveway, and continued it through her hospital stay, according to the doctor. His sensitivity and unwillingness to give up on her despite knowing about the horror of her childhood had stunned her. She had fully expected him to turn and run if he ever found out about it, and wouldn't have blamed him if he had. Talking to him about her father's abuse had opened up a very dark, cold hole within her and filled it with the warm glow of trust and love. She felt unburdened and free for the first time since she could remember. Turning to look out at the sunset painting the ocean with strokes of orange, pink, and purple light, she felt him press against her back, circling her in his arms from behind. She took in a long breath of satisfaction, letting it out as she leaned back into him. "We're home." She tilted her head as he leaned in to kiss under her ear.  
  
"Yes, we are. I'm home with my beautiful girl, who is standing in the middle of the room for some unfathomable reason. I'm relatively sure the Seth-taxi dropped you off at the couch."  
  
"I wanted to see if I could walk. And I can!"  
  
He sighed. "That's because, my naïve girlfriend, your hip is full of a little thing called "Demerol". When the shot from the hospital wears off, your walking days may be over again. Just for a while, though."  
  
"Did you get a shot?"  
  
"Yes, yes and yes. I really wasn't feeling it until I took the painkillers at Ryan's house, but now? I am feeling very, very, let me just say it again, VERY good."  
  
She giggled. "Ryan's house. You don't live there anymore?"  
  
"Nope. I live here with you, until you kick me out, or – or my parents drag me back there, whichever happens first. You'll get used to my two changes of clothing soon." He hugged her gently and pulled her back closer to him, resting his chin on her head. "What do you want to do now?"  
  
"Mmm. Just this. Isn't the sunset amazing? Such pretty colors."  
  
He looked out the window for a moment. "It is. I'd rather look at you, though. Hey. Let's go sit down."  
  
"On the bed, ok? Like last night?" She turned in his arms to look up hopefully at him.  
  
He grabbed her hand and led her to the bed. "What the beautiful girl wants is what the beautiful girl gets." Throwing some pillows against the headboard, he sat back against it and she settled in between his legs. "What a difference a day makes, huh?"  
  
"Yeah. This time last night I was so upset I could barely speak, now I'm just happy." She turned to look at him as best as she could. Uncomfortable, she slid over to one side of him, leaving her legs over his lap. "I hope you know how much it means to me that I can talk to you, about anything, you know? And that you didn't give up on me."  
  
He colored in embarrassment, but looked pleased. "It's no big deal. I just wanted you to know you had a friend."  
  
"Cohen. It IS a big deal!"  
  
His eyes widened, surprised at her emotional tone.  
  
"I don't think you understand, Seth. I've never felt like this before. I've never been ABLE to feel like this before. It's so intense and calming and GOOD and being with you is amazing. I love you SO much; I don't know what to do with it all! Sometimes when I look at you I feel so much inside it seems like I'm gonna explode!" She stared into his hazel eyes, thinking he would say something, but he just watched her quietly.  
  
Summer was suddenly scared. She had never been one to talk about feelings, and letting them loose had felt almost wrong to start with. His lack of response had her instantly worried that he didn't feel quite the same way. She dropped her eyes. "I'm sorry. Over-emotional female, front and center." She began to get up, but he quickly stopped her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close, resting his head on hers.  
  
"Hang on. Don't apologize. I didn't say anything because for the second time today it was entirely possible that I'd cry in front of you. I knew if I tried to talk, well, extraordinarily unmanly blubbering would ensue."  
  
"Seth –"  
  
"Shh. I want to tell you something. Whenever I pictured being with you in my head it always played out with me being sarcastic and funny, and you shooting me down, because we did that so well for so long. Then when we dated, it was better than I expected, because you showed me that sweet side I'd always suspected was there, along with our unique sarcastic banter thing. When you said you – you loved me, last night? It was hard to process, because maybe somewhere along the way, I'd started to believe – on a microscopic level - all the put-downs I've heard for the last – forever. They just kind of filter into the brain."  
  
"I'm so sorry I – "  
  
He raised a hand to quiet her. "I'm not talking about just you. Anyway. I knew you cared after – after we, last night. And, and I thought you BELIEVED it was love you were feeling, though it really wasn't. I never thought you'd fall madly in with me; I never pictured it that way, and not once did I think it would happen."  
  
She felt incredibly bad. And so very guilty. "Because you spent years wanting someone that didn't want you. And you thought you'd go through your entire life always loving someone more than they loved you."  
  
He nodded slowly. "I'm Seth Cohen. I get knocked around by chest-shaving polo players, and made fun of every day at school. People say the stupidest things about me, just to make their own pathetic lives seem better."  
  
"So that just shows how much smarter you are, if you understand why they – we – did it. It doesn't make it better for you, I know, but it DOES make you better than them." It was her turn to look away. "And me."  
  
"But see, I've never wanted to be like any of those idiots or really cared what they thought. And look, Summer, this isn't court and I'm not judging you. We got together and – huh – now I think you actually fell in love with me." He touched her cheek and made her look back at him. His eyes were still full of amazement. "Although I'm sure it sounded like it, I'm not feeling sorry for myself here. I told you that so you'd understand how completely and totally blown away I am by what you said and how you... feel."  
  
"It IS how I feel, and I'm going to make sure you know it. Every day." She scooted up to kiss him and they hugged for a long time.  
  
"I am so in love with you."  
  
"I'm that much in love with you too, Seth. Maybe more."  
  
**** "She looked like Marissa but it's like she wasn't in that body anymore. There was just nothing left in there that sounded or acted like her. "Ryan stared up at the ceiling while recounting his moments trapped in Summer's Corvette with his ex-girlfriend.  
  
"It must have been awful for you." Anna lay on her side next to him.  
  
"I kept talking, trying to get her to pull over or at least slow down, and it was like I wasn't even there. She was – talking about things that happened a while back and then she'd scream and cry, and the next minute she'd be laughing."  
  
She laid a hand on his arm. "Ryan, I'm so sorry. I thought she was getting better, though, after TJ."  
  
"So did I."  
  
Anna realized she was unconsciously stroking his arm and slowly pulled her hand away.  
  
He was quiet for a few minutes, then turned his head to look at her. "I keep wondering if she really was OK and all the lies and cheating were because she felt like lying and cheating. Because she didn't care...about me anymore."  
  
She felt like crying, his blue eyes were so full of uncertainty. "If that were true then she wouldn't have been so upset when you broke up with her. Didn't you say she was fine until that happened?" He nodded, and she continued. "Obviously I'm not an authority on these things, but it sounds to me like she was slowly losing her grip, and that was the thing that sent her over the edge." He immediately closed his eyes. She reached for his arm again. "No, no, I'm not laying blame on you. I'm saying that out of any number of things that could have set her off, your break-up just happened to be it. If you hadn't done that, it might have been something like the mac and cheese burning or her breaking a nail. It just happened, by chance, to be you. Do you understand what I'm saying?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"So let it go. It's not your fault. This is just how her breakdown happened to come about."  
  
He nodded again, absently, obviously not agreeing.  
  
"Nothing I'm saying is helping, is it? You're still completely torn up over the whole thing, aren't you?"  
  
He turned his head away, and she suspected he might be fighting tears.  
  
"Come here, Ryan." He wouldn't look at her, so she sat up and moved closer, then lay against his side, reaching up to turn his face to hers. "Come on."  
  
He finally turned on his side to face her, sliding an arm under her neck and gathering her closer with the other. She rolled onto her back, pulling him with her, and he rested his head on her shoulder, both of them hanging on tightly, believing the other was the only refuge in their emotional storms.  
  
****  
  
Seth smiled at Summer and kissed her again, very gently. "I'm not going to ask you that question that you hate; I just want to know how you're feeling."  
  
"You're not gonna ask me if you're hurting me?"  
  
He shook his head.  
  
"Amazing. How am I feeling? Seriously? Like a different person - happy and excited and with a whole new view on things. Oh. Not what you wanted? Ok. I feel really good. Sort of like I'm flying, and there's no pain anywhere. My hip that you're lying on doesn't hurt, neither does my arm, shoulder or ribs. I'm tingling everywhere that your body is touching mine, and kissing you is like heaven. I want to make love with you right now, more than I've wanted anything in my life ever, and I think I might die if you don't touch me again soon. Because I love you that much. How's that?"  
  
He swallowed hard. "Very insightful, thank you." He pressed his lips together, thinking hard. "You know –?"  
  
"It will hurt tomorrow, I know." She ran her hand down his back and across his bruised rear. "For you too, remember?"  
  
He shrugged. "I don't care."  
  
"That's exactly how I felt about it last night. Do you get it now? I don't care how much I hurt tomorrow, it's worth it to me to have tonight."  
  
"I didn't think –"  
  
"Well, you're wrong. You're worth it." Her eyes swept over him. "God, look at you, Seth." Her hand ran over his arm and up his shoulder, then down across his chest. She lowered her voice. "Every time I thought about last night I wanted to rip your clothes off. All. Day. Long. You're so freaking hot."  
  
He shook his head. "Ryan is –"  
  
"Not nearly as sexy as you are. Your eyes make me melt; I love the way you smile, and your chest, the way you look at me when you think I don't see you. I love how you're built and how tall you are and how tiny I feel next to you. When you kiss me I go all gooey inside and forget where I am and what my name is."  
  
"Really? All that? How advantageous for me. But enough with the ego stroking...Well, for now."  
  
She laughed. "So what's the verdict? Are you in or out?"  
  
He burst into laughter and dropped his head onto her shoulder. "Nice choice of words." He kissed her. "And while I appreciate all the things you just said, and with such conviction too, I guess you didn't realize there was never an argument."  
  
"There wasn't?"  
  
He shook his head.  
  
"Oh." She narrowed her eyes. "But you said no sex and you meant it!"  
  
"Then I decided since you'd gone to all the trouble of removing my clothes and dragging me to bed, you must –"  
  
"Are you saying you changed your mind?"  
  
"I'm saying if you'd STOP interrupting me and let me TALK, you'd have known quite a while ago that I want you so badly it literally hurts and I might die if I don't hear you moaning in my ear pretty damned soon."  
  
"Oh honey, I'm sorry! I assumed – "  
  
He kissed her quickly and smoothly shifted his body over hers. "You were wrong." He sighed. "Why can't we ever do this without 10 minutes of the wrong sort of oral foreplay?"  
  
He kissed her again and she was immensely enjoying the feel of his hard body against hers when suddenly he was inside. A subdued moan escaped her and she wrapped herself around him.  
  
****  
  
He opened his eyes and found her looking up at him with obvious adoration, and Seth was once again overwhelmed by the strength of his feelings for her. He kissed her several more times, then slid down and laid his head on her chest, loving the feeling of her fingers in his hair. When his breathing slowed, he sighed contentedly. "Summer?"  
  
"Yeah, baby?"  
  
"If I had a choice between making love to you and breathing, I'd without a doubt forego oxygen. Just to do that one more time."  
  
"Ooh. You are sooo adorable."  
  
"Have I told you how much I love you?"  
  
"Not in the last 20 minutes. Slacker."  
  
"Ok. Ok, listen to this. I, Seth Cohen, love Summer Roberts more than Thanksgiving Dinner. More than a limited-edition, first copy of the first press run comic book autographed by the artist and the actor who played them in the movie and/or TV series."  
  
"Impressive. That's a lot of love. Want to know how much I love you?"  
  
"The answer would be yes, even if I wasn't self-absorbed."  
  
"I love you more than a weekend at the mall with unlimited credit on a charge card someone else gets the bill for. More than Jimmy Choo, Prada or Chanel, and Harry Winston."  
  
"More than Jimmy or Harry? I'm speechless. And deeply moved."  
  
"You should be. That reminds me. We need to go shopping."  
  
"What? Now?" He slid off of her and sat up.  
  
"I told you earlier and you said we could!" Her bottom lip quivered.  
  
"But that was before I was completely exhausted by the most beautiful woman in the world with the best sex ever had by anyone on the planet. And don't even start with the bottom lip ploy. I'm wise to your games, Princess Manipulation."  
  
"Se-e-eth!"  
  
"And the three syllable thing."  
  
She crossed her arms angrily. "Fine! I'll just go by myself!"  
  
He laughed. "How are you going to do that? Your car is a 2 foot by 2 foot square of smashed metal by now."  
  
"Oh yeah. Damn." She carefully looked around, trying not to appear as if she were searching for something. She made a sudden move, diving for the side of the bed, and he realized what she was doing. He lunged, but she beat him to his pants, holding up the keys to the truck triumphantly. "Ha! THIS is how I'm going shopping. So there."  
  
"Oh no. Not the Range Rover. I think the insurance company already dropped us; there's been so many claims on it this past year. Absolutely not."  
  
"But I want to go! It's really important! Pleeeeease? Pleeease take me?"  
  
She only stuck her lip out a little this time, but her eyes were so tragically sad he felt an overwhelming need to apologize. For something. He wasn't sure what. Anything, as long as she stopped looking at him like that. "Ok, Ok, I give up."  
  
She was instantly all smiles. "Yay! Thank you thank you! It won't take long, I promise. You don't even have to come in the store with me, just maybe help me to the door. Ok, baby?" She kissed him on the mouth and both cheeks, finishing it off with a kiss on his nose and a hug.  
  
He hugged her and looked over her shoulder, sighing heavily. "I am in the presence of a master. The same master that obviously wears the pants in this relationship."  
  
"You can wear the pants once a week, ok? I think they look better on me." She smiled sweetly.  
  
"Of course they do."  
  
****  
  
'Maelstrom'. The word stuck in Anna's mind, describing perfectly the riot of emotion spiraling through her. Ryan's weight was profoundly exciting yet terrifying to the point of madness. Logical, steadfast Anna felt all control slipping away even as guilt washed over her. What about Marissa and Seth? Why didn't they matter to her right now? All she wanted to do was get closer to him somehow, and the longing to know what it was like to kiss him was becoming agonizing. What if she couldn't control what happened between them? Would she be able to forgive herself if anything did happen?  
  
"Relax."  
  
"What?" She'd barely heard him over the hurricane roiling inside her head.  
  
"Relax. You're so tense you're shaking. We're just hugging, ok?" His voice was soft and reassuring in her ear.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"What's goin' on?" His fingers were sliding gently up and down her arm. "Is this scaring you?"  
  
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to think lucidly. If she said yes, he might move away and that would be very bad. If her answer was no, he might kiss her and that would also be bad. In the best possible way. How to answer? She opened her mouth, not sure was she was planning to say. "Maelstrom."  
  
"O-kaay. I'm going to assume that means you have some contradicting thoughts."  
  
She nodded, then immediately shook her head. "That wasn't what I meant to say. I don't know why I said that."  
  
"What did you mean to say, then?" He raised his head to look at her.  
  
Blue eyes, calm and measuring, waited for her response. The whirlwind within abruptly ceased, leaving Anna with the only obvious answer to give him. She simply had to tilt her head a little to the side, and a little forward and her lips were on his. She felt him hesitate and pull away and she was afraid to open her eyes in the wake of her embarrassment. Had she really misjudged the situation that badly? He pulled himself closer to the headboard and then he was kissing her, allowing her head to fall back onto the pillow. He was gentle at first, with soft brushes of lips lulling her into comfortable contentment and warm security. He felt solid in her arms and when his head lowered to her neck, she shivered involuntarily at the sensations his lips and tongue were creating. His mouth returned to hers, but this time strong, demanding kisses were inviting her to play. She kissed him back hard, and when his tongue slipped into her mouth and found hers, the electricity rampaged through her, setting her on fire. She briefly remembered predicting that very thing earlier before he moved completely on top of her and she gave up thought while giving in to the feelings.  
  
****  
  
Ryan swiftly rolled away and onto his back, breathing hard. She gave a loud moan, protesting the sudden absence of warm body, and turned on her side to look at him.  
  
His head rolled towards her on the pillow. "Sorry. I just – we need to think – about this."  
  
"Why? What is there to think about?" She vaguely realized her shirt was about to slide off the far side of the bed where it had landed after being removed earlier. She didn't care.  
  
"Seth? Marissa?"  
  
"Oh. God, Ryan, I don't WANT to think about them."  
  
"I know. But how are you going to feel tomorrow?"  
  
"I vote we deal with that tomorrow. How about you?" She ran her hand across his stomach, being careful of his wounds.  
  
"I want you to be sure, Anna."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
He stared at her for a brief moment, then nodded. "I am."  
  
"Then I am too. Look, Ryan. The hard facts are: You already broke up with her. Seth's with Summer. Maybe we should move on."  
  
He was silent for a minute. "Together? Because this isn't just a thing for me." Despite his obvious difficulty getting the words out, he continued to watch her face carefully.  
  
Her eyes widened. That statement was unexpected. "You're in love with her. I won't go through that again. Once was enough."  
  
"It's different from Seth. I broke up with Marissa because she's...not what I need in my life. I have a second chance, and I want to use it. I can't take care of her and help myself at the same time." He turned his head away from her again, staring at the ceiling, then continued softly. "I don't want to kiss you tonight, and pretend like I didn't all day tomorrow. I don't know where this will go, but I want to at least try to find out." He looked back to her, waiting for her to speak.  
  
She smiled at him wryly. "That's just great, Atwood. For the first time in my life I do something reckless and unpredictable, and here you are wanting it to mean something."  
  
"Does it?" His eyes, serious and questioning, bored into hers.  
  
"Yes. It does."  
  
He rolled back to her and kissed her. "Good." His hand traced lines across her bare stomach and chest.  
  
"Ryan? I've never – done much before. I'm kind of -"  
  
"We're not going to. Don't worry about it." He brushed blonde hair behind her ear with a finger.  
  
"I'm both very sad yet happy and relieved about that."  
  
"That's known as bipolar by some." He nuzzled her under the ear.  
  
"Actually? Bipolar symptoms are more about frequent mood swings, not feeling opposing emotions at once."  
  
He sighed. "I forgot you're a geek."  
  
"Well, you're a car-stealing arsonist."  
  
"Every girl wants a bad boy."  
  
"Intelligent girls are not geeks and bad boys have no power over us." She looked at her watch. "Intelligent girl has to go home, or she'll be grounded girl."  
  
"So you're coming over in the morning?" Ryan made no move to let her get up.  
  
"Yes. Bright and early."  
  
He groaned. "I'm not so sure about bright."  
  
"Do you feel any better?"  
  
He smiled down at her. "I do. Thanks. Maybe I can sleep."  
  
"Are you going to let me up?"  
  
He sighed. "I suppose. If I have to." He rolled away and she got up, retrieving her bra and shirt and dressing shyly while he watched.  
  
She kissed him once more and headed for the door. "Take your meds and you'll sleep. Goodnight Ryan. See you tomorrow."  
  
"Night." He smiled a little as he watched her walk past the pool.  
  
**** 


	25. Lies25

~ Lies-25 ~  
  
Down the road of my desires  
  
To the oceans of my peace  
  
Through the fueling of my fires  
  
Until my yearnings cease  
  
I hear your voice  
  
I know you  
  
In your arms I sleep  
  
My love, wherever I go  
  
I take you with me  
  
Even though I've fed my hunger  
  
Even though I've named my fear  
  
I'll never understand it  
  
How the journey led me here  
  
But I have made a promise  
  
That I intend to keep  
  
My love, wherever you go  
  
I take you with me  
  
~Melissa Etheridge~  
  
Seth was reclining in the driver's seat, softly snoring when Summer opened the passenger door. "Cohen! What are you doing? I wasn't gone THAT long."  
  
He was jolted awake, then got his bearings and sighed, turning his head toward her. "First. To answer the question – obviously I was fulfilling my obligation to the time honored male tradition of falling deeply, gloriously asleep after sex, which sadly enough, I must do in a Range Rover because my girlfriend considered it necessary to feed the shopaholic monkey on her back immediately after said sex, thus earning me the distinction of being 'the co-dependant boyfriend'. Or is it 'co-dependant monkey-feeder'? And second. In reply to your statement – Yes. You were."  
  
She put her hand on her hip. "Well. Someone's crabby, aren't they? Consider yourself lucky that I'm in such a good mood, or you would have just earned the distinction of being my 'On the couch-sleeping, not-gettin'-any-for-a- looong-time boyfriend'."  
  
He sat up, allowing the seat to rise with him. "So ok. I'll admit maybe I over-exaggerated the shopaholic thing, but Summer, I've been sitting here forever! I was worried about you! Or I would have been if uh – I'd been awake."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Now that? Is truly touching." She glanced at the clock on the dashboard, her expression instantly changing to shock. "OhmyGod! I didn't realize I was gone that long. I'm sorry. Really."  
  
He got out and walked around to her side, helping her up into the truck and putting her packages in the back seat. He returned to his side and started the engine, silently heading for home.  
  
She looked over at him and bit her lip, unsure if he was just tired or still mad. After watching him drive a moment, she slid over next to him. "Hey. Do you want to listen to that one CD? Death Cutie or whatever it is that you like so much?"  
  
He glanced at her briefly before returning his eyes to the road. "You hate that CD. Put on your seatbelt."  
  
"Yeah, ok. But I think 'hate' is too strong of a word. Maybe I just need to hear it again, you know, like - give it another chance." She found it and slid it in the player, adjusting the volume. "How are you feeling? I mean, besides tired? You broke your arm today, and you've barely mentioned it."  
  
"I'm ok. You and Ryan are hurt worse, so I don't think I have too much to complain about."  
  
"Well, you can if you want. You know, you hit the floor really hard, so you'll probably be achy all over pretty soon." She leaned her head against his shoulder and patted him on the leg.  
  
"Outstanding. Something else to look forward to," he muttered.  
  
She sighed and straightened up in the seat again, staring dejectedly at the road ahead. "Please don't be mad at me anymore, Seth. I'm really sorry; I didn't think I was gone that long. I know you're tired and didn't want to take me to begin with, and I feel horrible that you had to wait for such a long time."  
  
His mouth dropped open, then she felt him lean to nudge her with his shoulder. "Who are you, and what have you done with Summer? Summer would have gone straight for my throat, much like "Cujo", and told me to get over it, because shopping is much more important than my comfort or rest."  
  
She appeared confused, then shook it off. "I don't know who Cujo is, but I'm guessing I wouldn't like it if I did. So. Lets' just say that Summer has developed a soft spot for any and all tall, dark-haired guys named Seth Cohen. Everyone else? Yeah, they still get bitch-mode." She nudged him back. "So I'm forgiven?"  
  
He put his arm around her. "You were forgiven before you got in the truck. I just wanted to see how bad you really felt." He looked over at her. "Pretty funny, huh?"  
  
Her mouth dropped open and she smacked him, hard. After unfastening her seat belt, she moved back over by the passenger window. "You're such a jerk!"  
  
"Ow! Hey! Driving here! Broken arm! You said you had a soft spot! Where did the soft spot go?!"  
  
"Out the window along with my offer of a back rub when we get home."  
  
He groaned. "There was a back rub involved and I negated it?! I sabotaged my own backrub joy? Another tragedy to add to this week."  
  
"Oh no, Cohen, the tragedy is that I'LL have to go without sex while I'm withholding it from you. Assface."  
  
**** Summer collapsed into a chair, exhausted. She hadn't said another word the rest of the way home, despite Seth's incessant attempts at conversation and humor. "Seth?"  
  
He stopped talking, as she'd interrupted him mid-sentence, and dropped her shopping bags by her chair. "Ah. She speaks. Yes, my love?"  
  
"Why was I mad at you again?"  
  
He eyed her warily. "Is that a question that would, if I answered, begin a huge argument centered around teaching me a lesson OR do you really not remember why you're mad?"  
  
"The second. I can barely remember my own name after the constant onslaught of, of - vocabulary you've been throwing at me." She leaned her head into her hand.  
  
"You – and your name is Summer, by the way – are mad because I am the despicable jerk that pretended like I was pissed off at you because you were gone shopping for an hour and a half in order to selfishly see how sorry you were about it, when actually I was sleeping peacefully the entire time, blissfully unaware. Because I'm an insecure ass that feels very insignificant in the shadow of your overwhelming beauty, sparkling wit, and sarcastic comebacks. And I apologize."  
  
"Oh yeah. That was it." She cocked her head to one side and stared thoughtfully at him. "Nice suck up, Cohen! OK. You're forgiven, but only because you're cute and incredibly good in bed for a beginner."  
  
He let out a sigh of relief. "And those? Are reasons that I deem worthy of being forgiven for. Do you think, though, that perhaps I could get that in writing? Because "Cute" and "Incredibly good in bed" would look quite excellent framed on the wall above my bed. Right next to my Rooney poster."  
  
She just raised an eyebrow and stared at him.  
  
"I'm pushing it, the whole forgiveness thing, aren't I? All right then. It really doesn't have to be in writing anyway. Would you like something to eat?"  
  
"No. I want to show you everything I bought at the mall." She smiled sweetly at him.  
  
He faked enthusiasm for her plan while settling into the couch and putting his feet up on the coffee table. "Yeah! Shoes and clothes and handbags! I'm so there!"  
  
"I might have gotten you something, too. I'm having trouble remembering." She glanced away innocently.  
  
He sat up straight, dropping his feet to the floor. "Really? Something for me? Do I still get it even though I'm a despicable assface?? Huh? You forgave me, right? What is it? Shirts? I know you don't appreciate my outrageously cool, laid-back sense of style, so I'm guessing you're planning on updating my wardrobe to suit your tastes. Or maybe it's comic books. Is it? New CD? Huh?"  
  
"Cohen! God, are you, like, 10?"  
  
"When it comes to presents and surprises? You'd better believe it. You'll see this year at Chrismukkah. I can't wait. It's insane, especially with Ryan here now, and - "  
  
She stared at him with a look just below "glare" level.  
  
He mimed zipping his lips closed.  
  
She began digging in bags, holding up new outfits she'd bought herself for his approval, new heels, and accessories to match. He enthusiastically applauded, gave thumbs up, or in one case, shook his head sadly, surprised to find himself actually enjoying this relationship ritual. She paused over the last bag, smiling at him.  
  
"I'm shocked. You're pretending like you're having fun. "  
  
"Actually, Summer, I am. While not nearly as fun as imagining you naked? Imagining you in different clothing is an astonishingly happy thing for me."  
  
"Then you should really like this last bag. These are the results of the "I love Seth Cohen" themed part of my shopping spree today."  
  
"You have shopping - your all-important favorite pastime? - themed after me? That is – just – so cool!" His pleased expression made her laugh.  
  
"I do. But shopping is no longer my favorite pastime, sweetie, it's second on the list now." She winked coyly at him.  
  
"Oh now stop it. You're going to make me blush." He pretended to be embarrassed while obviously loving all the attention. "What's in the Seth Cohen bag? The suspense is killing me."  
  
"Well, I got these..." She held up several un-Summer-like outfits of jeans with just logo'd tee shirts, and new pairs of Converse shoes in pink, orange, and red to wear with them. "You said you liked these on me, right?"  
  
His eyes were wide with disbelief. "What? The shoes? Yes, si and oui ! Those little tee shirts are great! This – this is awesome, Summer! But I thought you hated the way I dressed."  
  
She looked down at the clothes she'd been wearing all day, which were the ones he'd chosen out of her closet for her. "I've been so comfortable in these. And they are pretty cute on me, so I wanted some more. It never hurts to change up your style once in a while, you know."  
  
"Not really, but since you're the world renowned fashionista here, I'll take your word for it."  
  
She smiled happily. "Good. And I got you these..." She pulled out several tee shirts with funny or ironic sayings and logo's, and 2 vintage rock band tees. "They seemed very "you". I hope you like them."  
  
He looked from them back up to her. "They're, um, incredible. I can't believe you did this."  
  
His lack of enthusiasm worried her. "You don't like them? We can exchange them -"  
  
"No, we're not; they're awesome. I just don't get why you'd buy them." He looked at her, confused.  
  
"Because I'm trying to tell you I love you just the way you are, dummy."  
  
"Oh...." He shook his head. "Are you coming over here or am I joining you in the chair? I feel an urge to kiss you that's undeniable."  
  
"I am pretty lonely over here." She moved to the side so he could sit down, then slid onto his lap, putting both arms around him as he kissed her. When it ended she laid her head on his shoulder. "So I did ok shopping?"  
  
"You did very well. I have to say, you buying for me was unexpected." He kissed the top of her head.  
  
"I know! That's why it was so fun! I had such a good time shopping for someone besides me. Who would have guessed it?"  
  
"Frankly, no one."  
  
She smacked him. "Ha. Funny." She reached over the side of the chair and grabbed the bag. "I got you something else."  
  
"Good Lord, woman, does your father have any money left? I'm happy with my new shirts." He shook his head. "First thing in the morning we're looking into 12 step programs for your shopping habit. Spend, spend, spend. I can't..." He trailed off as she pulled a small box out of the bag and opened it, displaying a man's ring. It was similar to the one he'd bought her, with a bezel set diamond in the center, but this one had a row of smaller stones set into the band on each edge. "What the -? Summer, what did you do?" He looked up at her in confusion.  
  
"I bought you a ring. It's only fair, right? Do you like it?" She watched him anxiously as he dropped his gaze back to the box in her hand.  
  
"Well, yeah, of – of course I like it, but what -?"  
  
"What's it for? I'm glad you asked, Cohen." She kissed him on the cheek. "You know how you said mine was a friendship ring, and I could keep it even if we never got together as a couple?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"This ring isn't like that. I got it for you because I care, which is the same, I know, but I want it to mean more than friendship." She got nervous, but kept going. "Of course you can keep it whether you like my idea or not." She stopped and studied his face, trying to gauge his reaction. His eyes widened, but he kept quiet. "Look, I know we're too young and blah, blah, blah, but I'm not just your buddy, Seth. I'm in love with you, and I want everyone to know. You're like, amazing, and the only person I've ever trusted, and I adore you and don't want anyone but you."  
  
He chose his words carefully. "Summer, are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"  
  
"Just listen. I don't want to run off and get married. I don't think we're ready to be engaged, either." She removed the ring from the box. "I stole your idea. Look at what I had engraved in it."  
  
He took it from her and read the words inside. "Love" and "Commitment". His eyes found hers again. "So you're saying you don't want to be engaged, but you want a commitment. Does that mean you'd like to upgrade the ring I got you to a commitment type ring, also?"  
  
"Exactly. There's something called a "promise" ring. Like, a pre-engagement ring. At least, that's what I was thinking about. I know I might be, like, going too fast, and I don't want to scare you, I just know I'm way past the "going out" or "going steady" thing with you." She studied the carpeting. "How do you feel about it?"  
  
"Are you serious?" He watched her face, hoping she'd look back at him.  
  
She finally did, taking a breath and staring straight into his eyes. "Totally."  
  
Seth opened his mouth to speak, shut it, took a deep breath and tried again. "Let me get this straight. You're asking me if I want to be in a committed relationship with you, like almost engaged? Is that a relatively accurate assessment of the situation?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Are you aware that you've just completely stolen my thunder, since I've been wracking my brain to think of a way to express the fact that I'm way past the dating thing with you and you've figured it out before I could? Where do I wear this thing?"  
  
She broke into a wide smile. "Really? Yay!" She hugged him. "It doesn't matter where. See which finger it fits. Wait. Try your right hand. Your parents will completely lose it if you come home looking like you got married."  
  
He slid the ring onto his right hand. "And I would suddenly care what my parents thought because... why?"  
  
"Because they're good people and you're lucky to have them." Thinking of how no one would even notice her ring suddenly made her sad.  
  
"You have them too. You're an honorary Cohen, remember?" He knew exactly what she was thinking about. He kissed her soundly. "And you have a committed Seth Cohen, with engraved 'bling' as evidence." He held up his hand and admired the ring. "No one's ever gonna believe this. Hey. You must be exhausted. You want to get in bed and watch TV?"  
  
"I am and that sounds perfect."  
  
They helped each other get undressed, laughing at the fact that they only had two good arms between them, then crawled into bed. After turning on the TV with the remote, Seth curled around the back of her, holding her little body close. His brain was having a problem keeping up with all the developments in his previously non-existent love life. A week ago he was sure he'd never get Summer back, now they were in love and sleeping together, and tonight they were wearing rings from each other. "Unbelievable."  
  
"What, sweetie?"  
  
"Um, we forgot to take our drugs." He started to get up, but she stopped him quickly, sitting up and putting a hand on his arm.  
  
"Stay here, I'll go." Throwing back the covers, she rolled out of bed and padded quietly to the kitchen. In a few minutes she was back with a tray holding cheese and crackers, two glasses of water and their respective bottles of medication. "It's not much, but you have to eat or your painkillers will make you sick. Right? That's what you told me." She set the tray on the bedside table and shook out his pills for him. "Here, baby."  
  
He stared at her with raised eyebrows. "Who are you, again?"  
  
"Shut up, Cohen. I'm trying to take care of you. You got a problem with that?"  
  
He immediately began shaking his head, looking up at her familiar hand-on- hip stance. "No, no and hell no. I'm just – that's really cool. Thanks." He took the pills, then watched as she took hers. "You're still walking fairly well. Maybe I won't have to carry you around slung over my shoulder tomorrow."  
  
After getting under the covers, she handed him a plate with cheese and crackers. "I TOLD you I was fine. Maybe next time you'll listen. "  
  
"There better not BE a next time." He dug into the snacks with gusto.  
  
"How about you? Does your arm hurt?"  
  
"Well, to tell you the truth, yes. I don't like to complain, but my back hurts and my neck is stiff and my lower back is just throbbing with pain, too. My legs even hurt." He gave her his best wounded puppy face and inwardly cheered as her expression changed to concern and pity. "While you're taking care of me, do you think you could help? I really feel awful."  
  
"Oh, my poor baby. Turn over and I'll rub your back for you, ok?" She smiled and rolled her eyes as he dropped his plate and happily flopped onto his stomach. "All you had to do was ask, Cohen. The puppy eyes weren't necessary."  
  
"Really? Whoa. I like the new you. Not that I didn't like the old you, actually I loved the old you, still do, but the new you? Is delightfully loveable also. I love all of you, in other words, new and old. Not that you're old, because obviously you're not, I just –"  
  
"Seth?"  
  
"Uh huh?"  
  
"If you want a back rub, you need to shut it."  
  
"Absolutely. Consider it shut."  
  
She rubbed his back and shoulders until her arm began to hurt, then lay down beside him, pulling the covers up over them. "Seth?" Getting no response, she sat up and peeked over at his face, smiling a little when she discovered he was asleep. After flipping off the TV and quietly putting their plates on the nightstand, she turned out the light and got under the covers again. Summer curled around his side, kissed his shoulder and slid her arm over his back. She fell asleep quickly, still smiling.  
  
**** 


	26. Lies26

Lies – Chapter 26   
  
"So, how ya doin', man? Really." Seth dropped into a chair in the pool house and eyed Ryan warily. "Are you gonna be ok with seeing Marissa? Are you up for the drive? Dad said you're not supposed to be doing anything other than lying around like the vegetable of your choice. Does your head still hurt? Did you get any sleep?"  
  
Ryan sighed. "Seth, slow down; it's too early. I'll be ok. Sitting in a car isn't much different than sitting on the couch. When are you going to tell me the real story of how you broke your arm?" He looked up after slowly tying his shoelaces.  
  
"I always appreciate a good segue into a new subject. Maybe you could astound me and come up with one sometime. What makes you think there's another story? I'm quite clumsy, you know."  
  
"Seth. You ride a skateboard and you've never broken anything." Ryan raised his eyebrows and stared.  
  
Seth threw his hands up. "All right! You and those "Eyebrows of Truth" again. Summer and I were making out on the gurney in the ER and the doctor came in and startled us and I fell off. Happy?"  
  
Ryan smiled. "Uh huh. So, how'd you manage to get her back?"  
  
"Dude. We weren't really back together on Sunday; she just told you that to explain why she was at our house. So, I just stayed with her, you know, while she was in the hospital, and – uh – accidentally found out some things that explained a lot about her. She finally trusted me and we just got closer and closer and then I told her I was in love with her." He had a distant look, remembering how it happened.  
  
"Wait a minute - You what?" Ryan had been standing by the bed, but now sat down again.  
  
Seth looked back at him earnestly. "I love her. She's just – she's incredible, and you want to know the best part? The one totally unbelievable element of the entire scenario? She feels the same way about me. Honestly. I didn't believe it either till last night."  
  
"So what happened last night? Or do I not want to know?" Ryan cringed, expecting sordid details.  
  
Seth smiled slyly. "Chill, amigo. While it's true that I am a newly inducted member of the "virginity-free" hall-of-fame, that happened a couple of nights ago and that's all I'm saying about it. Last night? Summer -" He held up his hand and showed his friend his ring, "- gave me this – along with verbalizing powerful emotion and buying "Seth Cohen style" clothing for herself. And – and for me." He twisted it off his finger and handed it to Ryan. "Check it out. It's engraved inside."  
  
Ryan inspected it carefully. "She gave you this? That's awesome, man." He glanced up at Seth. "Love and Commitment? Does that mean...?"  
  
Seth grinned. "It means we're more than just going out, but less than engaged. And SHE asked ME. I still can't quite wrap my head around it."  
  
Ryan gave him a concerned look while handing back the ring. "You're ok with that? Beyond just the love part, Seth, this is a big deal. Are you ready for a relationship that serious?"  
  
"Ryan. It's interesting that you ask that, because my friend? She's it. You know how long I've wanted to be with her, and, and I'll admit I thought sometimes that maybe I'd just made up a version of her in my head, you know like the perfect girl for me? - that, that kept me hanging in there all these years, but it turns out the real Summer is better than my imaginary one. She's just – she's funny and smart and wicked with the sarcasm and humor and the sparks just fly between us and for the first time I'm more worried about someone else than I am about me. Horrors, that makes me sound egocentric, doesn't it? But I would gladly be hit by a car if it meant she wouldn't. Wait, I worry about you, obviously, but, but I want to take care of her, whereas I'm certain you can take care of yourself. Because you're Ryan. Ryan from the mean streets of Chino. But back to me. Sometimes it's beyond comprehension how much I FEEL when I look at her. Of course, the short answer to your question would have been - Yes. I'm ready. Beyond ready." Seth looked up, and Ryan was looking somewhere past his shoulder.  
  
"O-kaay. That's cool, then." Ryan smiled a little. "Although I never would have believed the part about Summer dressing like you until right now." Summer had walked in the open door to the pool house and heard their conversation. She was standing just inside the door, biting her lip and staring warmly at Seth.  
  
He turned and saw her. "Hey! Come here. I was just showing Ryan the new bling. He's very impressed - also jealous and a little bitter, I think."  
  
Summer walked over and sat on the arm of Seth's chair. She kissed him, then hugged him hard for a minute while he smiled happily at Ryan and jerked a thumb toward his girlfriend. She finally looked up at their friend. "I'll buy you one too. A friendship ring, what do you think? Do you like diamonds?" She cocked her head to one side, appraising him. "Actually? You look more like a sapphire man."  
  
Ryan laughed. "Uh - I don't need sapphires, but thanks. I'm not really into jewelry. Seth's is really - nice, though."  
  
"You like it?" She leaned to kiss Seth on the cheek. "Ryan needs a ring too, sweetie. We need to go shopping again. Tonight."  
  
"Yes, my pet. Whatever you want." He turned to Ryan. "Shopping is good, man." He nodded solemnly.  
  
Ryan rolled his eyes. "Oh boy. This is worse than I thought."  
  
Summer looked up quickly. "He's not whipped. He's just – "  
  
"- in loooove." Seth finished for her, then kissed her.  
  
"No one could miss that... So. Anna should be here soon." Ryan looked a little tense all of a sudden.  
  
"Did you guys hang out last night?" Seth shifted his attention back to Ryan, putting his arm around Summer.  
  
"Yeah. She stayed a while. We – talked. About stuff." Ryan lay back on the bed again.  
  
"Yeah? What kind of stuff?" When Ryan didn't answer, Seth caught on. "Oh. Cooper stuff. Dude, you know you can talk to me, right? To us? I know we haven't been around much, but all you have to do is say the word and I'm here. In fact, I feel bad now, like I've somehow failed you as a best friend and brother. I could also be jealous that you talked to Anna instead of me, while I'm sharing."  
  
"Seth, cut it out. You haven't failed me. She just – it's like, she wasn't there when it all happened."  
  
"Yeah, Cohen. She probably has a different perspective." Summer looked uncertainly at Ryan. "Right?"  
  
He nodded. "Exactly." Summer sat back, smiling smugly.  
  
Seth nodded slowly. "Anna is very wise. Hey, whatever helps, Ryan. You know, though -?" He pointed from himself to his friend then repeated the gesture a few times.  
  
"I know, man. Thanks."  
  
"And me! I'm –"Summer copied Seth's gesturing, pointing from herself to Ryan, "– too. Anytime."  
  
Ryan smiled. "Got it."  
  
"Hey, everyone." Anna stood in the door, appearing unsure if she should come in.  
  
A chorus of "Heys" came back at her, and she walked in, hesitantly stopping by Ryan. He looked flustered, then stood up and hugged her.  
  
"So. How do you feel today?" Anna asked as they pulled away from each other.  
  
"I'm better. And yes, I took the meds."  
  
She smiled and patted him on the head. "Good boy! I guess I'm the designated driver then." She looked around at them. "You're all pretty much drugged, huh?"  
  
"Uh – forgot about that. Do you mind? We can take our truck." Ryan looked concerned.  
  
"I don't mind. I don't think I trust any of you to drive anyway. Someone has to co-pilot and tell me where I'm going, though." She smiled up at Ryan, glancing nervously at Seth.  
  
Ryan put his arm around her. "I got directions from Sandy, so I'll ride shotgun and be your co-pilot."  
  
Anna visibly relaxed. "Sounds good. Shall we go, then?" She put her arm around Ryan.  
  
Seth and Summer watched their interaction with curiosity, then glanced at each other. Summer spoke up. "Ok, guys. Anna and I will let Sandy know we're leaving. We'll meet you in the driveway." She grabbed the other girl's arm and pulled her toward the door. "We should hit the little girls' room before we go anyway, right, Anna?"  
  
"I really don't –"  
  
"Sure you do. Come on. We'll tone down your make-up a little. The natural look is back in, obviously you didn't get the memo..." The argument continued as they walked past the pool.  
  
"Ryan? Is there something you'd like to share? Just what, exactly, happened here last night?" Seth crossed his arms and stared expectantly.  
  
"Drop it, Seth." Ryan grabbed his crutches and began to head for the door.  
  
Seth stepped directly in front of him. "Um, no. Were you sincerely planning on NOT telling me that you hooked up with my ex last night, and now she's driving us to see the girl you're in love with? What the hell is going on?"  
  
Ryan only stared. "Are you jealous?"  
  
Seth looked as though he'd been hit in the stomach. "You of all people – I just told you. Summer is who I'm supposed to be with. And excuse me for caring about you and Anna, and worrying that you're the rebound couple of the year whose relationship will only end in even more negative drama. Do whatever the hell you want." He turned and walked out the door.  
  
Ryan immediately looked ashamed. "Seth. Hey – Wait! Seth!"  
  
Seth stopped, but didn't turn around, so Ryan made his way out to him. "Sorry, man. Look, I've been worried all night about how you were going to take this, so I went with the worst possible scenario. I guess as a defense." He stared at the tile by the pool.  
  
"What are you guys doing? Do you really think this will somehow work out?" Seth shook his head in frustration.  
  
"I don't know. But we decided to try."  
  
"'We'? You and Anna talked about it?"  
  
"Well, yeah. We're not idiots. But we like each other, and it doesn't matter how much I loved Marissa, we're not getting back together, and you're with – never mind. We're not going into this blindly, Seth."  
  
Seth raised both hands into the air. "Ok. I will hereby mind my own business. Probably. Maybe. But the bizarre factor at the hospital is going to be WAY out of control."  
  
Ryan just nodded.  
  
"So let's go find our women and get this train wreck started." Seth held the door for Ryan as he entered the house.  
  
"Could you try to be a little more negative, Seth? I'm not worried enough yet."  
  
"Hey. No problem. What do you think our odds are of making it to LA without another car wreck? I actually know, but you'd be too terrified to get in the truck if I told you, so I won't."  
  
Ryan groaned and shot Seth a look. "Great. Thanks."

* * *

"Ok, so Ph.D. Barbie wouldn't talk. Did you get anything out of Iron Man?" Summer was lying on her side by Seth, who was reclining, knees up with his head on a pillow he had positioned against the truck door. They had pushed the back of the seat down, making themselves comfortable on the makeshift bed.  
  
Seth spoke in a loud whisper. "What the -? Did you just refer to them by code names? That is SO cool. And you are SO my girl." Seth gave her an amused smile. "You might want to lower your voice though; they ARE sitting less than three feet away."  
  
Summer rolled her eyes. "Like they could hear me over this crappy howling Ryan calls music. What kind of a name is "Journey", anyway? Were they faded when they made it up or something?"  
  
"Yes, Summer, they were. History shows that everyone was high in the '80's. Witness the popularity of movies like "Dirty Dancing" or "Crocodile Dundee", and the music of "Milli Vanilli", for crying out loud. The entire population had to be stoned out of their respective gourds. But yes, Iron Man came clean. Apparently they've bonded over their similar experience of being passed over for someone else. Which is a little awkward, since I'm one the passers, but even more so since we're all on our way to see the other passer. But he says they understand the pitfalls of a rebound relationship and want to try it anyway."  
  
Summer eyed him carefully. "And how do you feel about that? That she's rebounding from you to your brother?"  
  
"It's a bit weird, but since they're two of my favorite people, I sincerely hope it brings them peace and happiness. And I'm still ecstatic that I'm with you, on the off chance of that being a question borne of jealousy."  
  
"You're so poetic, Cohen! Normally I'd laugh, but that's exactly how I feel about you." She dropped her head to his shoulder.  
  
"Which? Poetic? Peaceful? Oh, I know! Borne of jealousy?"  
  
"Ecstatic, peaceful, and happy, dumbass. Way to kill the moment. Again."  
  
"Hey. It's what I do. So how do you feel about Ryan moving on from Marissa so quickly? Any urges to leave marks on him with your new purse?"  
  
"A little. I get where he's coming from, though, I guess. But Ryan with Anna? NOT the two people I'd ever imagine together."  
  
"I agree, but remember, no one ever imagined us together." He bent to kiss her forehead.  
  
She giggled. "Not even me! Now I can't imagine being without you."  
  
He lifted his hand to look at his new ring, and she admired hers, lifting her hand up next to his. He deftly turned his wrist and touched his ring to hers. "You won't ever have to."  
  
"OhmyGod! That was like, a superhero moment, with the ring clicking and stuff, huh? Is this where our secret identity outfits and masks magically appear on us?"  
  
Seth laughed. "So you WERE paying attention during my "Intro to Comic Books 101" training. I thought you were there just to make Anna mad."  
  
"I wouldn't do that."  
  
Seth stared at her.  
  
"Ok, I would. All right, I was! But I really liked the comic book stuff, even though at first I thought I'd have to give an Academy Award performance to just show interest. Cohen?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm like, kind of scared. To see her. Everything is so wrong about this. What if Coop's not in there anymore and all that's left is the nutty chick?"  
  
"I don't think you're going to have to worry about that today. No one's called, so I'm guessing she's still comatose. Just remember, she can most likely hear you even if she's unconscious, so talk to her like you normally would."  
  
"Duuh! I know! I was in a vegetablish state not very long ago, remember?"  
  
"I think you mean 'vegetative' and of course I remember. Vividly. I hated every second of every minute of every hour of it."  
  
Summer rolled her eyes. "Right. Except when I was running your hand across the pretty colored bruises from my hip up to my boob! Nice, Cohen. You took a free feel!"  
  
Seth sat up, incensed. "Hey! I apologized and the fact remains that YOU were the one doing it. I didn't even look!"  
  
"Oh." Summers voice softened. "Ok, I remember now. You were embarrassed and sweet. I'm sorry, baby." She closed her eyes, feeling bad about accusing him. It struck her finally, and she looked up to see him staring at her in amazement. "I was – "  
  
"- Unconscious when that happened! Yes! Yes! Hey Ryan! Anna! Listen to this! Summer remembered something else from when she was passed out in the hospital!"  
  
Ryan turned down the volume of his CD, and Anna hung over the back of the front seat, intrigued. "Was it something specific that you said this time?"  
  
"No, it was when I – I - uh –" remembering the delicate nature of what happened, he stopped. "Uh, it was something she – we - did. Wait a minute!" He looked back to Summer. "You said you remembered that I was sweet. What did I say? Do you remember that?"  
  
Summer was thoughtful for a moment. "I thought I'd done something wrong and you didn't like me, but you said YOU were wrong and apologized. You said..." Her eyes caught his gaze. "You said you promised to take care of me, not take advantage of me."  
  
"That's exactly right!" Seth looked triumphantly at Anna. "See? Something specific!"  
  
"How fascinating! Summer, can I do a formal interview with you for my paper?" Anna pleaded. "Whenever it's convenient for you," she hurried to add.  
  
"Sure, I guess." Summer was still staring at Seth. She waited until Anna resumed her original position and Ryan turned the music back up. "I was coming on to you, wasn't I?"  
  
Seth looked away. "You were, but, but – it never crossed my mind to do anything ......Ok. That's a complete and total lie." He raised his eyes to hers. "It crossed my mind over and over and over again until there were like, really deep ruts in my brain from where it kept crossing this way and that way and over again. Ruts like from a wagon train rolling to parts unknown in the West, you know? Probably not. Right. But anyway, I'm not so innocent."  
  
Her father had taken advantage of her at every opportunity, using her childhood innocence to manipulate her for his own sick pleasure. He'd made her believe that fondling and rape was his way of showing how much he cared about her. Seth's simple act of pulling his hand away when he realized he was feeling her breast suddenly seemed like a monumental gesture of love and respect. She felt hot tears building behind her eyes. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "But you didn't do anything."  
  
"No." He shook his head. "You were acting weird. Like a little girl. It felt – " He noticed her eyes filling. "Aw damn it, don't cry. I'm so sorry, Summer. I really didn't mean to. I knew you'd be upset if you remembered that part. But – but – "  
  
She laid her hand over his mouth, still whispering. "I'm not mad."  
  
His eyes showed his relief as he nodded. "MAWmesmmm. Mmow. Mmwy mnnt?" His words were muffled, but she understood him.  
  
"Because you didn't do anything; you took care of me, instead. That means everything to me." She took her hand off of his mouth and hugged him. Pulling away, she snuggled under his arm with her head on his shoulder. "Thank you."  
  
He kissed the top of her head. "Hey, no problem. You're my girl. My goal is to make sure nothing bad happens to you ever again."  
  
"Awww. Stop being so sweet, or my goal will be to have sex with you at the next available opportunity."  
  
Seth cocked his head to one side with a look of confusion. "Was that supposed to be a threat? Because I'm just not seeing the downside of that. At all. And by the way? The phrase "Next available opportunity" has me fantasizing about hospital supply closets or empty rooms on the geriatric floor where everyone has extremely bad hearing." His voice rose with excitement. "Oo! Maybe we could, uh, uh - find a nurses' uniform!?" He looked at her hopefully.  
  
She laughed. "We'll see, sweetie. It's good to know that you're enthusiastic about places other than the bed."  
  
"Have I ever told you how much I love the hot tub? And I have deep feelings toward the kitchen table and/or countertops. The beach is really romantic at night, and – and – I have some truly positive emotions concerning the hood of your car and public restrooms. And elevators. Oh. Have you ever been on a sailboat? The ocean is very...inspiring. Yes. No, but... Not that – uh – I've given it much thought."  
  
Summer shook her head solemnly, playing along. "Oh, no. Of course not."  
  
"You know I'm lying, don't you?"  
  
She smiled at him. "Yep."  
  
"I confess, I've given it a lot of thought. Since puberty happened and my chest hair grew in."  
  
"You mean last week?"  
  
He gave her a sarcastic smile. "Ha...You're just a laugh riot."  
  
"You're just a dork."  
  
"And you're a spoiled princess."  
  
"Did I mention that I fell in love with a dork once?"  
  
"Oh yeah? I fell in love with a princess. Go figure and God help me."  
  
"So are you gonna kiss me already, Cohen?"  
  
"If you'd stop chattering long enough, I would. Your lips keep flapping and I can't get a good angle."  
  
"My lips do not and never have flapped, and only you would need to 'get a good angle'. Jeez."  
  
"Again, with the flapping."  
  
Summer sighed. "Never ask a boy to do a man's job."  
  
"Hey! I've had the bar mitzvah AND sex. I'm a man in every conceivable way now."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Or a job a woman can do better." She lightly laid her fingers against his cheeks and kissed him gently, making it last. She pulled away and looked up at him questioningly.  
  
He grudgingly nodded. "Ok. I'll admit that was pretty damn good."  
  
She smiled smugly.  
  
"For a girl." His lips were on hers before she could protest, and he kissed her passionately, then drew away.  
  
"Jesus, Cohen," she breathed. Her eyes were still closed, and she was panting.  
  
Ryan cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah – Guys? We're here. We'll just be outside."  
  
Seth and Summer turned in unison to see the backs of Ryan and Anna as they fled. The truck doors slammed shut, and they turned back to each other.  
  
"How long have we been here?"  
  
"I don't know. When did he turn the music off?"  
  
Summer shrugged. "Should we feel bad? I hope we didn't make Anna feel weird."  
  
"Me either. Let's go face the firing squad."  
  
They maneuvered their way out of the truck and looked around. The other couple hadn't made it through the parking lot yet. They were making out against a parked BMW.  
  
Summer grabbed Seth's hand. "So much for feeling bad. We started a kiss – fest."  
  
"It appears they were inspired by the waves of sexual tension emanating from the back seat, doesn't it? Maybe we should consider naked fun with a camera, Summer. What do you think? $20 per download? We'd be rich."  
  
"We ARE rich, and if I ever see video equipment anywhere near me when you're suddenly feeling friendly? You'll be capturing an amputation on film that you won't be so eager to sell."  
  
He blinked, then gulped. "Oh hey! I just remembered! I don't have a camera of any type anymore. Gave them away to a worthwhile charity. Did I mention that you look really hot today? Because I meant to. Your ass looks awesome in those jeans."  
  
She looked at him sideways and sighed. "You're getting too good with the fast saves. I'm going to have to raise the bar."  
  
"But the bar raising event will be next time? Right? Oh! I'm sorry - I meant to say that your hair is really sexy when you put it up like that. I don't know how I forgot that part."  
  
"Oh, all right. You're not in trouble anymore." She nudged him grudgingly with a shoulder.  
  
He dropped an arm around her shoulder. "Ha. The soft spot you've developed rears its ugly head again, huh? You just can't resist me, Roberts."  
  
"I can SO. I just – don't want to right now."  
  
"Fair enough." They began walking toward the doors of the hospital.  
  
"Does my butt really look good? I didn't have time to try them on at the mall, and I couldn't turn around far enough to see in the mirror this morning. It was like I was a cat chasing my tail or something!"  
  
"Oh hell." He laughed. "I'm sorry I missed that - sounds veeery entertaining. When we get back I'll get some catnip and watch you go insane with a ball of string. And yes, your ass positively looks better than any other girls anywhere. Ever."  
  
"Damn right it does. Hey! When were you looking at other girls' asses?  
  
"Never! Ok, maybe a long, long time ago – they're like distant shadows of memories. Shadowy memory asses, totally uninspiring......"


	27. Lies27

Lies – Chapter 27   
  
"Are you ok?" Ryan reluctantly backed away from Anna and the car door she'd been pressed against.  
  
She opened her eyes and focused on him. "Excuse me? Ok?" She had no idea why he was asking, since she'd been thoroughly enjoying their impromptu make-out session. It was oddly thrilling to be pushed against a car and kissed without warning. Oh God, what if she wasn't doing something right and he thought she DIDN'T like it? "Did I – wasn't I -?"  
  
He smiled, very slightly. "That part was good. I was talking about Seth?"  
  
"Who? Oh. Seth. You mean his and Summer's lip wrestling competition?"  
  
Ryan gave a short nod.  
  
"Fine. Only stung a little. I was actually worrying about how tough seeing Marissa was going to be for you. And then suddenly I was up against the car and being kissed and then, well, you were there, so I guess I don't need to go on, do I? No." She rubbed one hand on top of the other anxiously.  
  
His lips twitched in an attempt to cover his amusement.  
  
Anna sighed. "I'm starting to sound like him, aren't I? Rattling on longer than necessary. I guess I'm..."  
  
"Nervous. Do I really scare you that much?"  
  
She nodded slowly, thinking hard. "No! No. You don't SCARE me, it's more like..." Incredibly blue eyes were looking down at her with a mixture of warmth and amusement. She liked that he was taller, but not that much taller than she was. He was wearing a light blue shirt over a wifebeater that contrasted superbly against his tanned chest and neck and the breeze was blowing his hair around and she decided she'd never seen a man look so hot. In her life. Ever. He was still waiting for an answer, and she realized she'd forgotten the question. "Um. Can we talk about this later?"  
  
He narrowed one eye and looked at her thoughtfully. "If you want." He grabbed his crutches and they began making their way to the front doors of the hospital just as Seth and Summer caught up with them.  
  
"Jeez, you'd think they'd have valet service or something," Seth grumbled. "Did you have to park 3 miles away from the entrance? My ass hurts."  
  
Summer gently patted him on the rear. "It'll feel better soon. We'll hit the hot tub when we get home."  
  
"I thought you tripped, Seth? That would send you in a forward motion, so how did that part of your anatomy hit the floor?" Anna was curious. Ryan looked away, covering his smile.  
  
"It was kinda like – uh – uh..." Seth turned to Summer for help.  
  
"Oh, he like, did this amazing flip thing and under-rotated it, you know, like in gymnastics when they don't "stuff it"? The landing, I mean –"  
  
Seth broke in. "I believe you mean "stick it" and actually? It was less like gymnastics and more like diving when the diver doesn't slice the water right and makes a splash." He glared at Summer and muttered under his breath. "Gymnastics?! That's worse than water polo."  
  
She shrugged her shoulders while Anna was looking elsewhere. "But anyway, Cohen, they don't have valet service at hospitals because they have to keep the lanes open for emergency vehicles. Obviously," she added with emphasis.  
  
He mouthed "obviously" while mimicking her sarcastically, then ducked away as she swung a hand at him. She came at him again and they pretend to slap each other, giggling.  
  
Reaching the doors and entering the building had an instantly sobering effect on everyone. They fell silent, and while in the elevator, Summer moved closer to Seth and took his arm. "What do think she'll be like?"  
  
He dropped his arm over her shoulder. "She'll be asleep, and she'll probably have a lot of machines hooked up to her. It will be entirely intimidating until you realize they're there just to monitor her heartbeat and respiration. Simple stuff. So don't let it mess with you."  
  
She still looked doubtful. Turning to Ryan, she noticed his lips set in a grim line and his hand clenching Anna's in what looked to be a painful hold. She reached over and tapped his arm. "Hey, ease up on the kung-fu grip, GI Joe. Anna might want to hold a fork or a pen or maybe slap you sometime with that hand."  
  
He looked up, surprised, then down at their clasped hands, immediately letting go. "Sorry. I didn't –"  
  
"It's all right." Anna rubbed her hand with the other. "I still have circulation."  
  
"Why didn't you say something!?" Ryan wanted to know.  
  
Anna looked at the floor. "It wasn't THAT bad..."  
  
The elevator doors slid open and they found themselves face to face with Kirsten and Jimmy. They both looked exhausted, but Kirsten's face brightened upon recognizing them.  
  
"Hey, you guys!" She immediately latched onto Ryan, smothering him in a fierce hug. He slowly raised his arms and returned it lightly. "I've been so worried about you! Are you all right?" She released him and stepped back, looking him over carefully while he stared at the floor. "Are you sure you should be up? You look a little pale, Ryan."  
  
"I'm good. I've been taking it easy." His voice lowered. "Thanks."  
  
Jimmy shook his hand carefully, mindful of the bandages. "I haven't had a chance to thank you, Ryan. This is twice you've saved Marissa's life now."  
  
Ryan shook his head a little and smiled ruefully, keeping quiet.  
  
Jimmy looked around at the group. "It's great that you guys came, but I'm afraid it was for nothing. She's still – asleep." He glanced quickly at Kirsten.  
  
"We know, Mr. Cooper. We just wanted to see her, and maybe talk to her. You know, like let her know we're here for her." Summer's voice was soft.  
  
"Oh, Summer! You poor thing, look at you!" Kirsten hugged her carefully, then stared with concern. "Are you doing ok? Sandy and I want you to stay with us until your Dad gets back. Have you talked with him yet?"  
  
Summer looked away, then at Seth. "No, and really, I'd rather not talk to Dad. I'm fine now." She took his hand. "Seth's been helping me out."  
  
Kirsten smiled. "Seth has? Really. I never pictured him as a nurse." She raised her hands as if framing him for a snapshot.  
  
"Mother? Just don't. Let's not hear about the little white cap, ok? Moving on. Where is Marissa's room? Wait. I think Ryan needs to sit down if there's a lounge nearby. He's white. Like a ghost. A ghost with multiple injuries, if that was possible since ghosts theoretically aren't solid mass and are therefore uninjureable. Is that a word or did I just make a new one?"  
  
Kirsten let out a little shriek as she finally saw his arm. "Seth! What happened to you? You didn't say you were hurt in the accident, too!"  
  
"I wasn't and it's a long story – well, not actually and I can make it a short one by saying this: I tripped and fell. 'The End'. Whoa, buddy!" Seth caught Ryan as his hurt friend staggered back toward the elevator.  
  
Anna put an arm around Ryan's other side and they followed Kirsten as she led them to a lounge around the corner. After sitting him on the couch, Anna went to find him a cold drink and Kirsten went to find a nurse.  
  
"Dude, do NOT do that again." Seth and Summer sat down on either side of Ryan, and Summer took his hand. "Mom will without a doubt have you checked in here if you keep that stuff up."  
  
"Leave him alone, Seth. Do you feel ok, Ryan? Are you still dizzy?" Summer felt his forehead and cheek with her good hand as he leaned back into the couch and nodded. "Have you eaten?" He shook his head. "Did you really sleep all day yesterday?" His lack of response answered her question. "We'll be right back, sweetie. Just relax." She motioned for Seth to follow her and they stopped around the corner. "I thought he was just faint from not eating or sleeping, but he's burning up, Seth. That's usually not a good sign."  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Seth was immediately concerned.  
  
"It could be a lot of things, maybe infection; I don't know. Can you find a restroom and bring back some cold, wet paper towels?"  
  
He nodded and hurried down the hallway as Summer went back to Ryan. "Hey, Ryan? You awake?" Getting no response, she talked louder. "Ryan! Wake up and talk to me, ok?" She shook his shoulder and looked up gratefully as Seth came back into the lounge. "I think he passed out. Put a towel on his forehead, would you?" She grabbed another and slid it behind his neck, and another went across his throat and chest. "That might make him feel a little cooler. Where is the damned nurse?"  
  
"Right here." Her voice came around the corner, followed by the actual nurse and Kirsten. "What happened?"  
  
"He was dizzy so we sat him down but it didn't help, then he passed out. He was in a serious car wreck on Sunday and he has stitches from a blow to the head that concussed, a broken ankle, and burns on his arm and hands. He's running a high temp and he hasn't eaten or slept, probably for a day or two. What do you think? Infection? Internal bleeding? Maybe just exhaustion? And uh, sorry about the 'damned nurse' thing."  
  
The nurse waved off Summer's apology as she stared at her questioningly.  
  
Summer shrugged. "Candy striper. I listen."  
  
"Ah." The nurse nodded her understanding. "The problem is for the doctor to determine, young lady, but I'm sure he'll appreciate all the helpful information." She felt Ryan's forehead, then his neck to check his pulse.  
  
Anna returned with a bottle of water just then. "What happened? Is he all right?"  
  
Seth put an arm on her shoulder. "He passed out, he's probably just tired. Or something. Stay calm."  
  
"Are those all of your son's injuries?" The nurse looked to Kirsten.  
  
"I – I think so. I don't remember anything else..."  
  
Anna walked over and opened a few buttons on his shirt. "I don't know if it matters, but did they tell you about this?"  
  
"Oh, man. I didn't know about that; he never said anything! Is that from the seatbelt?" Seth was shocked by the wide, red welt running across Ryan's chest.  
  
Anna nodded. "He said it broke; I don't know anything else. He had some cream to put on it, but I don't think it helped much."  
  
The nurse scanned it quickly. "I'm going to get a steward and we'll get him down to emergency right away, just in case this episode isn't from exhaustion." She disappeared around the corner and came back in a minute with a steward and a gurney in tow. They lifted Ryan onto it, and Seth laid an arm across his mother's shoulder as they all followed down the hall back to the elevator.

* * *

"It's going to be awhile, you know." Seth whispered in Summer's ear.  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Do you want to go up and see Marissa while we're waiting? Make the time go faster?"  
  
"Yes, but I don't want to leave here." Summer looked miserable. She wanted to see her best friend, but was afraid to. She was worried about Ryan, and wanted to be there for him too.  
  
"I don't want to leave either, but Mom can buzz my cell if the doctor comes out. We'll probably be back two hours before that happens anyway, if your ER visits are anything to judge by."  
  
She smiled sadly. "We spend way too much time in hospitals, Cohen. Let's not do this anymore, ok?"  
  
He nodded and got up, helping her out of her chair and hugging her before they headed for the elevator again.

* * *

"Rrryyyaannn." His name echoed hollowly around him, and all he saw was blackness. He felt as though he was drifting in space, free and unencumbered by gravity.  
  
"Marissa?" Despite the scary-movie style distortion of her voice, it was unmistakably hers.  
  
"......It's not your fault......"  
  
"What's going on?" He could feel her presence in the inky darkness, but couldn't quite see her. He understood her words and knew instinctively what she was talking about, but couldn't come to terms with the current situation. It was like he was in a Stephen King novel or something.  
  
"...be happy...... live well ......"  
  
"Is this a dream?" He was becoming increasingly panicked, partially because he knew she was in a coma and couldn't possibly be talking to him, and also because he knew he was asleep on the couch in the lounge area of the hospital. Wasn't he? Or was he dead?  
  
"I have to go...... I'm not coming back, Ryan...I love you...... I always did......"  
  
"Wait! Where - Marissa! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen!"  
  
"Ryan......you made me happy............love you........."  
  
"Where are you going! Marissa?!"  
  
Ryan's head was spinning in confusion. He had NOT just talked to Marissa. It was not possible and he must have hit his head again or he was having a major stress meltdown. Too much medication? And why was it so dark? He felt utterly alone and was surprised by how strange and frightening that once familiar feeling was now. He desperately wanted to hear Seth going on and on and on about anything and everything again. He wanted Kirsten to worry about him and hug him again, and this time he'd hug her back immediately. Hard. He wanted to tell Sandy how much it meant to him to have a father figure in his life that he respected and could trust. He wasn't ready to take on the darkness alone.

* * *

Seth was talking quietly with Jimmy while keeping a close eye on Summer. After wandering past them down the hall, she had stopped to gaze out the window. Sunlight glinted off dark hair and softened her profile, washing away her fading bruises in the glow. She appeared calm, and he watched as she took a deep breath, closing her eyes briefly. She turned and walked with determination to Marissa's room. The door sighed closed behind her and within 5 seconds re-opened; a pale Summer rushed out with her hand over her mouth. She leaned against the wall with her back toward them, and Seth was behind her in an instant.  
  
"Cohen!"  
  
"Hey, hey, I'm right here. What's wrong?"  
  
She spun to face him, eyes wide. "She's – I can't. It's awful."  
  
He grabbed her shoulders. "You can. Listen, remember me telling you it would look worse than it was? And Mr. Cooper told you she looked pretty rough, right?"  
  
Summer nodded, calming a little.  
  
"Ok then. You'll be fine. It's all right." Seth kissed her on the forehead.  
  
"Come with me."  
  
"You know she can only have one – "  
  
"I don't care, Cohen. You have to."  
  
Seth looked inquiringly at Jimmy, who'd joined them, also concerned about Summer. "Go ahead. I'll watch for doctors."  
  
"Thanks." He followed Summer as she put a hand on the door, hesitated a moment, then pushed it open again. It was immediately obvious what had sent Summer out of the room previously, and Seth felt his stomach twist into a knot. Marissa was indeed in very bad shape, with cuts, bruises, and burns rendering her nearly unrecognizable. White bandages concealed her scalp, with others covering her from nearly head to toe, and he assumed she'd needed surgery in many other areas besides the neurological. Summer squeezed his hand and then crossed the room to the bed as he sat down.  
  
"Hey Coop. This isn't one of your best hair days, is it? That's ok, girl, because I know ALL about that, too. Seth had to comb my hair and put it up for me today, can you believe it?" Summer pulled a chair up and sat next to the bed, carefully laying a hand over Marissa's. "You were right about him, you know. You told me a long time ago that he was a good guy, and now I believe it. We're together and he – he loves me. And I love him so much and he's so good to me." Her voice lowered, then broke. "I wish you could see the ring he got me, Coop. You'd like, freak, it's so beautiful." She collected herself, and continued. "It's like when we were little and played fairy princess. Remember how we'd try on your mom's jewelry and pretend..."  
  
Seth tried to tune out, feeling as though he was listening in on a private conversation. He knew the girls had been friends since probably birth, and wouldn't even try to imagine how hard this must be for his girlfriend. Even since last summer when Ryan had arrived and Marissa's life had turned into a prime time drama - all about Marissa all the time - Summer had stayed loyal and stuck with her, if possible, becoming a better friend while helping her through it. They'd all faced some hard truths about life and done a lot of growing up after witnessing Marissa's downward spiral. A soft tap on the door interrupted his thoughts, and he realized Summer had been quiet for quite a while now. Looking up, his heart cracked as he saw Summer holding Marissa's hand, her head lying on the bed by her friend's broken body. He went to her and laid a hand on her shoulder, speaking softly. "Summer? You can stay as long as you want, but I have to go. Mr. Cooper just tapped. I'll be right outside, though."  
  
"No, it's ok. I'll go too." She looked up at him with grief-stricken eyes. "Coop's gone now."  
  
Seth stared at her, stunned, then started for the door. "What?! I'll get a doctor – shouldn't there have been alarms?!"  
  
"No Seth. She's still breathing." Summer stood and leaned over to gently kiss Marissa's cheek, whispering softly to her. "I love you, sweetie. Best friends forever, right? Find peace." Seth had stopped in his tracks and she took his hand now while drawing a shaky breath. "I'm ready."  
  
Before they left, he took a step and bent to kiss Marissa also, not knowing what to say.  
  
As they walked down the long hall, her hand gripped his tightly and she spoke in a voice choked by unshed tears. "Don't let go, Seth."  
  
"I won't, Summer. I promise." 


	28. Lies28

A/N – Heh. 'kelly'- I'm dedicating this chapter to you. Thanks to ALL of you telling me your thoughts, I really appreciate that you take the time. Y'all are the best.  
  
Lies 28   
  
Ryan saw bright light suddenly and wondered if this was another dream or a continuation of his earlier one. Weren't you supposed to see a light in a tunnel when you died? He'd already had the goodbye scene with a ghost voice, and he supposed the bright light scene would be a fitting ending. Hopefully it was a dream. He couldn't possibly be going out for good in what seemed like a ridiculously cheesy horror movie. He was expecting Casper the Friendly Ghost to show up any minute now with some pointers on 'passing over'. He decided if this was the real thing and he was dead, the first thing he'd do was have Casper hook him up with that John Edwards guy so he could tell Seth about this. Only Seth would appreciate the humor in life ending like a B-movie.  
  
"Dude! You're awake!" Seth's voice got fainter. "Hey, go get Mom, will you?" He heard a door close, and Seth's voice was louder again. "You scared the hell out of everyone, you know. How do you feel?"  
  
Ryan was confused. "Where'd Mom go? She left again?" He felt a cool hand on his and heard other voices in the background.  
  
"Ryan, it's Kirsten. I'm so glad you're awake now."  
  
"I am? I'm not dead?" The room was suddenly silent. After a brief pause, Seth spoke again.  
  
"Not even close, man. You just passed out. It's going around, you know. All the cool kids are doing it."  
  
Ryan turned his head and focused in on Kirsten, sitting on the edge of his bed, and then Seth, who was standing beside her. He raised up a little and looked around, discovering that he was in a hospital room. He groaned and lay back on the bed. "Not again."  
  
"My thoughts exactly. I'm beginning to think you're just enjoying all the attention you get in these places. Have we been ignoring you at home or something, bro?" Seth was thrilled to see his friend awake.  
  
Ryan responded dryly. "You're onto me. I'm starved for attention." He gave them a wan smile. "So what happened?"  
  
Seth sat on the side of the bed. "The nurse says you've been a bad boy; not taking your antibiotics, not eating or sleeping along with running around like you weren't just in a horrific firey rollover car wreck. You've been doing, in general, exactly the opposite of everything they told you to do when they released you from the other hospital. Way to rebel against authority, man."  
  
Ryan gave him a weak thumbs-up.  
  
"Seth!" Kirsten glared at him.  
  
"What? It's the truth! It's his nature - he knows it."  
  
She pointed at the door. "Now is not the appropriate time. I need a few minutes to talk to Ryan, so go find the girls and see if Sandy's here yet. Now." Her voice had steel in it.  
  
Seth had heard that tone before and knew better than to push it. "Yes ma'am. Be right back with beautiful women, dude. They're way better than flowers, if you ask me."  
  
The door closed behind Seth and there was an awkward silence for a moment. Ryan sat up, wincing at the pain it caused him. "Something's wrong. What's up?"  
  
Kirsten smiled forlornly. "Ryan, I – I'm not sure how to tell you this." Tears came to her eyes and Ryan braced himself.  
  
The door opened and Sandy came in. "Hey, kid. We gotta stop meetin' like this."  
  
Ryan nodded. "Agreed."  
  
Sandy looked to Kirsten. "Did you....?"  
  
"Not yet; I'm glad you're here." He put a hand on her shoulder and she focused on Ryan again. "Look, there's no easy way –"  
  
"There's something wrong with me, right? And it's serious?"  
  
She sighed. "No, hon, you've got infection from not taking your prescriptions and you're suffering from exhaustion. You're gonna be fine......but..."  
  
Ryan swallowed hard. "Marissa?"  
  
Kirsten bit her lip and nodded, on the verge of tears, then looked down at the bed.  
  
"She's...?"  
  
Sandy pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down. "Listen, son, we just found out while you were being treated. The doctor said things went well, but we already knew there's always a chance that the surgery won't work like they want it to. There's generally a period of time after a procedure like this when her condition stabilizes and the anesthesia wears off, and then she should wake up. In Marissa's case, the time frame for that happening is long past now."  
  
Ryan let out a breath. "She's not -?"  
  
"No, she's alive. She's in a coma."  
  
"So she could still wake up, right? Sometimes it takes a while, you know?" Looking from Sandy to Kirsten, Ryan refused to give up hope.  
  
Kirsten grabbed his hand and Sandy put his on Ryan's arm, speaking as gently as he could. "They don't believe she'll come out of the coma, son. It's remotely possible, but no one is expecting it to happen at this point. Her brain activity dropped to a seriously low level in the past hour or so. There was just too much damage done in the accident. I'm sorry, Ryan."  
  
Ryan dropped his eyes and stared at Kirsten's small hand over his own, yet saw nothing. He felt nothing, just very removed from the situation, like he was watching someone else hearing horrible news on a television show. He felt bad for them, but it wasn't real.  
  
Kirsten leaned in to hug him gently. "I'm so sorry, Ryan. Summer told me how much you wanted to talk to her. Maybe we can convince the doctor to let you go up and see her in a wheelchair."  
  
Dazed, he looked blankly over her shoulder and across the room. "I already talked to her. She – she talked to me. She said she had to go, but I didn't know what she meant."  
  
Kirsten pulled away and looked at him with worry, then pity. "You must have been dreaming, hon, you're not making any sense. I think you should get some rest now; I'll tell Seth and the girls to stay out for a while."  
  
"No. I don't want to be – I want to see them." He slowly turned to look at Sandy, finally focusing. "Do they know?"  
  
Sandy nodded. "Jimmy was telling them when I came in."  
  
Ryan rubbed his hand across his eyes. "Is Mr. Cooper ok?"  
  
"As ok as he can be, I guess. He knew how iffy the situation was from the beginning, so he's had time to prepare. Not that one can ever really prepare for something like this."  
  
Seth stuck his head in the door. "All right to come in?"  
  
Ryan nodded and turned back to Kirsten. "Is Marissa's mom here yet?"  
  
She shook her head. "They're trying. They should be here soon."  
  
Ryan took a deep breath. "You guys should be with Mr. Cooper then. He needs you right now."  
  
"But Ryan, you're part of our fam –"  
  
"– it's ok. I've got these guys." He looked up at Seth, who had a girl under each arm. "He shouldn't be alone; he'll need his friends."  
  
Kirsten watched him doubtfully.  
  
"Go ahead. Really. It's ok."  
  
She bent to hug him again, and Sandy repeated the gesture.  
  
Ryan thought about how he'd felt in that dark dream, all alone and dead inside. He was determined not to destroy the bonds he'd made with the people in this room. All he had to do was step on his pride and say something. He held on to Sandy for a minute, and when the hug was over he spoke softly, looking at his blankets again. "Just - come back in a while, ok? I think I'm gonna ...need you guys."  
  
His foster parents glanced at each other with small smiles. "We're all here for you, Ryan. That's what family is about. We'll be back, son."  
  
As they left the room, Kirsten leveled a stare at her other son. "Seth. Outside. We need to talk."  
  
"What? I thought this was mushy family time?" He crossed over to the bed and awkwardly patted Ryan on the shoulder. "I'm so sorry about – all this, man. I'll be right back. Apparently I've offended the mother. Again."  
  
He met his mom down the hall. "What did I do now? I'd kind of like to hang with Ryan, you know? And Summer, Marissa's best friend? This is some pretty heavy stuff."  
  
"I know it is and you can in a minute. Right now I want an explanation. Two, actually. Explain why you've been staying at Summer's house with no parental supervision, and also explain the large diamond rings that you and your 'friend' are wearing."  
  
He looked to the ceiling in exasperation. "Again with the big diamond ring thing! I didn't know there were rules!"  
  
"Seth?!"  
  
He sighed. "Ok. It's like this. We're not just friends anymore."  
  
"Not helping your case."  
  
"I suppose not... This is what happened. You know her dad's in Europe, right? And she didn't have anyone to help her with stuff? Since Marissa was in the hospital too. So I couldn't let her wake up in the hospital by herself, and then they let her out, but she could barely walk and couldn't get up stairs and she couldn't even comb her own hair and she was pretty out of it sometimes so I needed to make sure she took her plethora of pills at the right times and get her food. And stuff. General helpfulness in an injured friend's time of need. Is that so bad?"  
  
"And in the meantime you fell in love?!! You've been sleeping! At! Her HOUSE!!! You couldn't have 'helped her' at our house?!"  
  
"Calm down, mom, before you bust a vein or something. We got really close after I - over something I can't discuss with you – "  
  
"I'm in no mood for secrets, Seth. Talk."  
  
"I can't talk about this because it's personal and not mine to tell and quite frankly none of your business." He spoke louder over her protests. "And for God's sake, Mother, Summer was just hit by a car. She has bruised ribs and a broken arm, a concussion and a dislocated shoulder and pretty much feels like she got -" He made finger quotes in the air, "Run Over By A Car, which, HEY! She did! Pain, you know?" He looked around the hallway and lowered his voice. "Sex is the last thing on anybody's mind right now. She sleeps in the guest suite because she can't get up the stairs to her own room and I sleep on the couch." Seth reasoned that last two sentences weren't really lies. He'd never felt like having sex less than right now while talking to his mother about it. And he HAD dozed off on the couch once or twice.  
  
"In the guest suite?"  
  
"Well YES, in case she needs something in the night. I couldn't very well hear her on the other side of the house, now could I? And the rings? We didn't get married. No, we're not engaged. Have you not often praised me on my intelligence and good sense? We're not even out of high school yet and we both know we're too young. But we are in a committed relationship, so get over it. I bought her the ring as a friendship thing, before we even got back together. She felt the need to reciprocate. Did you even look at them? They're awesome! Think about it, mom. Summer Roberts, the girl I've liked forever, loves me. Can't you be just a little bit happy for me here? Dad wasn't mad - He was totally cool about it."  
  
Kirsten sighed. "I'm happy that you're happy, Seth. She's a wonderful girl. But I still think you're too young for a serious relationship and it's inappropriate for you to stay at her house. She can stay with us if she needs help."  
  
"It's my fault, Mrs. Cohen." They both turned to see Summer approaching them with a limp. "Please don't be mad at Seth. Everything was so wrong, and horrible, and I just wanted to be in my own home, like, somewhere that felt familiar." She stopped next to Seth and he put an arm protectively around her. "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, I just came out to get a drink and I heard you guys talking. You were – kind of loud."  
  
Kirsten smiled. "Don't worry about it, Summer. Are you all right? This must be so hard for you."  
  
"I'm ok, just tired and sad and a little sore. I guess my medication wore off."  
  
Seth looked over at his mom. "I've finally cracked the code for 'Summer- speak'. 'A little sore'? Means she's in serious pain. Very stubborn, this one is. She thinks she has to be Wonder Woman and never complain."  
  
"I'll live, Cohen. Don't get all excited."  
  
Kirsten startled her by pulling her into a hug. "Summer, our whole family is here for you, please remember that. You ARE family."  
  
Summer couldn't help it. She lost what was left of her control at Kirsten's words and the tears started, threatening to wash away her adult facade and leave her shrieking like an inconsolable child.  
  
Kirsten walked her quickly to the nearest lounge and sat down, pulling her back into a hug while Seth followed, nervous and worried.  
  
"Mom, she's just had too much in the last week, with the accident and Marissa and the thing with her - thing. It's more than anyone could take." He sat on the other side of his girlfriend and rubbed her shoulders and back as she cried it all out in Kirsten's arms.  
  
Eventually Summer calmed down, and she sat up, wiping her face with her shirtsleeve. "I'm sorry I fell apart on you, Mrs. Cohen. I just – "  
  
"Oh please, it's fine. No one knows more about needing a good cry than another female, am I right? I'll bet you feel a little better now, don't you?"  
  
Summer nodded.  
  
Seth had run to the nurses' station and borrowed a box of tissues, and now he handed her one, then sat back, unsure of what to do next. "Do you want to go home? Something to drink? What can I do to make you not cry anymore?"  
  
Summer smiled a little. "You're so sweet, always trying to fix things for me. I'd love a cold drink, if you don't mind."  
  
"Done! I'll be right back." He started to get up, and she stopped him with a hand on his arm.  
  
"Thank you." She kissed him on the cheek. "Take your time, ok? I want to talk to your mom for a minute."  
  
He stood up, shaking his head. "Oh no. This can't be good. Ryan told about this, where the girlfriend and the mom team up to take over my li – I mean – it's gonna be you two against me, soon."  
  
Summer rolled her eyes. "Relax, Seth. I'm just gonna tell her what's been going on."  
  
"Oh. Ok. I'll be back, then."  
  
Summer fondly watched him walk away, and then turned to Kirsten. "He stayed at the hospital when he didn't have to. He found out something horrible about me and instead of running away like anyone else would? It didn't faze him. See, I'd written him sort of a letter in my journal, telling him about a lot of stuff I could never, ever say out loud. I didn't plan for him to read it – I wrote it for me; to get it off my chest, you know?"  
  
Kirsten nodded. "I've done it before."  
  
"Well, while I was in the hospital he went to my house to get me some real pajamas and clothes and things, and while he was in my room, he found it and read it."  
  
"And he told you he knew?"  
  
"After a while. I'd been released and we were at my house, and he told me he knew and wanted me to talk about it with him. He said – that...he wanted to help me." Summer wiped a stray tear away.  
  
"So you guys talked?"  
  
"No, I tried to throw him out! He told me he wasn't leaving me and went to get us dinner and that's when he bought my ring. He came back and I couldn't talk to him, I was so freaked out and ashamed and...God. You must think I'm insane. You don't even know what I'm talking about."  
  
"You don't have to tell me, Summer."  
  
She looked at the floor. "My father...when I was little he..."  
  
Kirsten caught on immediately. Sandy had told her earlier that Seth had out of the blue called him up and questioned him about incest, lying that it was for a school paper. "Oh honey. Oh my God. I'm so sorry."  
  
"It's – I want to tell you about Seth. He sat with me and talked to me and gave me the ring, even though I wasn't talking to him, and I finally realized after all he'd done that if I couldn't trust him? I'd never trust anyone ever again. So we talked. About it. I told him about – it." She looked up at Kirsten. "And he still didn't leave me."  
  
"I know he cares very deeply for you, Summer."  
  
She smiled a little. "I adore him, Mrs. Cohen. I know you think we're too young, but we have this amazing thing between us. I don't think a lot of married couples have what Seth and I have."  
  
"You're probably right." Kirsten sighed. "I just worry about both of you getting hurt."  
  
"Please don't. We're honest with each other, and getting hurt is part of life. We both know that. Too well, unfortunately."  
  
Kirsten was quiet for a moment. "So let's see your ring."  
  
Summer held it up for her, and Kirsten gasped. "Summer, it's gorgeous! My son – the one with the um, sometimes 'interesting' clothing choices - picked that out?"  
  
Summer laughed. "He did. It's perfect, isn't it? I was so surprised and...touched, when he gave it to me – it was completely out of the blue and it means so much to me."  
  
"I can imagine. I'm glad you felt like you could trust me and tell me all this, Summer."  
  
"I am too. Anyway, I told you so you'd understand that I really care about Seth, and having him in my life is like, sooo important. I know you and Mr. Cohen probably have your doubts, and I'm trying to show you that this isn't some little high school crush. For either of us."  
  
Seth dropped back onto the couch next to Summer, handing her a Sprite. "Right. I agree completely. What are we talking about?"  
  
"Your mom thinks we're too young to be serious about each other. I was trying to explain to her that this isn't..." Summer felt shy suddenly, afraid to speak for Seth and his feelings.  
  
"This isn't puppy love?" He smiled at her. "No, it's definitely not. Again, I agree completely." He kept gazing affectionately at Summer until she blushed and looked away, smiling. He turned back to his mom. "So how old were you, again, when you and Jimmy Cooper fell in love and almost got married?......Oh that's right! You were in HIGH SCHOOL. And don't tell me it was different then, because I'm not buying it."  
  
Kirsten rolled her eyes and stood up. "All right, you two. We won't interfere unless we see something that really needs addressed. Summer, our former guest room is officially renamed "Summer's room". You can come and go as you please – we realize you have a home you're probably comfortable in. Seth, you will be sleeping at home from now on, in your own room. Period."  
  
"Fair enough, mom. I'd just like to point out that by the time we get home tonight it's going to be late, and Summer will have to pack to go to our house, and she's tired and hurting from getting hit by a car, remember? So just let me run this by you – I think the most logical course of action, and also the best scenario for her well-being, of course, would be for her to stay at her own house tonight and then we can bring her stuff over to ours tomorrow. Wouldn't you agree?"  
  
Summer yawned widely to emphasize how tired she was.  
  
"And I'm supposing that you'll need to stay there with her. In case she needs something, right?" Kirsten replied dryly.  
  
"Correct." Seth looked at his watch. "She's missed 2 sets of her scheduled medication, 3 by the time we get home, and she's not gonna be able to get around very well by herself. You know, the pain thing? Ow, she was hit by a car thing?"  
  
Kirsten thought about it for a minute, sighed and gave in. "All right. Tonight. Last time."  
  
"That'll be fine, Mrs. Cohen, thank you. I just want to lie down and rest tonight. This has been such a long, awful day."  
  
"I know, sweetie." Kirsten hugged her again, then embarrassed Seth by hugging him, too. "You're a lot like your father."  
  
"Please say that's a joke."  
  
She laughed. "I'm telling him you said that. I'll talk to you later. I need to find Jimmy and Sandy." She walked away.  
  
Summer grinned at Seth. "Smooth, Cohen. You shouldn't lie to your mother, though."  
  
Seth looked offended. "I did not even once lie to her. Technically. I promised Ryan I wouldn't after TJ."  
  
"Speaking of Ryan, let's go see how he's doing. Poor guy. Can anything else go wrong? We've pretty much covered it all by now, haven't we?"  
  
"Aside from acts of God as determined by insurance companies, you know, flood, hurricane, etc? Yes. It's all been done this week." He helped her up. "How do you feel really?"  
  
She shook her head unhappily. "I didn't lie to her either. I'm worn out, I'm in pain, and I'm kind of numb, emotion wise. I haven't had time to really process all this since I talked to Marissa." She dropped her forehead on his chest. "I can't believe she's gone. My heart hurts so bad, Seth."  
  
He hugged her close. "I know. We're gonna get through this, I promise." He kissed the top of her head. "Summer? Did you mean since you talked to Jimmy Cooper? You just said you talked to Marissa."  
  
"I did. Or I dreamed I did, I don't know. When we were in her room – I'm so confused."  
  
Seth led her toward Ryan's room. "Don't worry about it. Just relax, Summer; you've had a long day."  
  
"Now I understand how people get addicted. I'd trade my car for a "happy shot" right now. They were so nice; everything was just slow and smooth and good, unlike all this chaos that's been going on forever."  
  
"Um, Summer?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You don't have a car."  
  
"Damn it. I don't have a car. You'd think I'd remember that, huh?"  
  
"Well, you've had a lot of stress lately. I imagine that's the last thing on your mind."  
  
"Yes! That's it - I've had too much stress. Thanks, Cohen. I feel much less scatterbrained now."  
  
"And that's always a good thing. The more gathered your brain is, the better. So. What did you tell mom, if I may ask?"  
  
"Everything."  
  
Seth stopped in his tracks, eyes wide. "You told her you devirginized me?"  
  
"No, dumbass. I'm in too much pain, remember? I told her about my dad."  
  
"You did? Why? She didn't need to know about that, did she? Are you ok? Was it awful for you?"  
  
Summer closed her eyes briefly and then looked up at him. "Which of those would you like me to answer first?"  
  
"Uh – uh – that would be – why?"  
  
"It was worth the humiliation for her to know what we've been through and how amazingly special you are to me."  
  
"...............oh."  
  
Summer grabbed his hand and stiffly pulled him toward Ryan's room. "Come on. I want to talk to Ryan, and then get home. I'm ready for some Summer/Seth alone time."  
  
"Right. Yes. Let's do that." 


	29. Lies29

Lies 29   
  
Summer had left the room supposedly to get a drink, but Anna knew she was really going out to help Seth with his mom. Surprisingly, it didn't bother her in the least. She'd been captivated by Ryan on the drive to L.A., discovering new aspects of his personality in conversation. Talk between them had been easy and playful, and she'd been impressed again by his intelligence and maturity. At one point, he'd reached over and grabbed her hand. When she turned to look at him, he'd given her an almost shy smile that at the same time was so hot her stomach flipped and she'd almost driven off the road. Sparks. Unquestionably. They'd been making their way across the parking lot when he'd suddenly stopped and muttered, "Damn it". She'd instantly been concerned and asked if something was wrong, and it was then that he'd leaned his crutches against the Mercedes on their right and somewhat gently pushed her into the car on their left.  
  
"Yes. There is." His body pinned her against the car window and then his lips connected with hers. After a long kiss, he pulled away just far enough to whisper. "I've wanted to do this since you walked into the pool house."  
  
"And there was always a BMW in your plan, so that's why you waited till now?" Anna ran her hands over her favorite places on his back.  
  
He pulled back and looked at her wryly. "Yeah, smartass. Wait till you see what happens when we're near an Infinity."  
  
"Ooh, I can't wait." She shivered as his mouth explored her neck. "I think there's one three rows down."  
  
He raised his head abruptly and watched her closely. After several long seconds, he spoke again. "Don't tempt me."  
  
He said it teasingly, but the look in his eyes shook her to the core. No one had ever stared at her like that before, and he made her feel beautiful and sexy and wanted. Those were heady and powerful emotions, but there was an element of danger in those blue eyes that made it all the more exciting. "Right."  
  
"We'll stick with the BMW for now, ok?"  
  
"Uh huh." She pulled him back into a kiss, and tried to slow down her suddenly creative imagination. "Infinity later."  
  
When Ryan had collapsed in the hallway, fear for him pushed some new feelings to the surface. They'd been friends for quite a while, so of course she was worried, but this concern was at a higher level that included a new possessiveness. Since last night it seemed like they were in a beginning phase, but really together. After the news about Marissa, all bets were off. His ex-girlfriend was gone and Ryan must be devastated, even though he'd come to see her so he could move on. Anna wondered if he even wanted her there in the hospital room with him. He probably felt guilty for being with her last night.  
  
She stayed seated in her chair after Summer left the room.  
  
"Are you all right?" His voice came weakly from the bed.  
  
"You're asking me? You ARE the one in the hospital bed, you know." She kept her tone light and joking.  
  
"I know." He sighed.  
  
"Can I get you anything? Soda, juice?"  
  
"Come here?"  
  
"Ok." She crossed the room and stood uneasily by the bed, suddenly not sure where to put her hands. "I'm really sorry about Marissa. It's so sad and awful."  
  
"I'm sorry too. I hoped she would get a chance to...get things straight."  
  
There was an awkward extended silence that Anna couldn't handle. "Look, Ryan. I'm gonna give you some time alone; I know this must be horrible for you." She bolted from the room.  
  
Ryan watched her go, baffled. She was acting entirely different from this morning. He guessed all of this had become too much for her to handle and she was backing away now. He couldn't really blame her. "See you later." His voice was soft.  
  
He lay back on the pillow and reminded himself that things could be worse. If he was still living with his mom and been in a car wreck, he would most likely be completely alone in the hospital. He had a new family and friends that cared about him now.  
  
He finally allowed his thoughts to stray to Marissa. They'd been dancing around her in his head, not ready for her situation to become reality just yet. He went slowly, as if tentatively probing with his tongue after a fist to the jaw, checking to see how badly his mouth was torn up inside. If it hurt too much, he'd quickly pull away from it.

* * *

Seth and Summer came around the corner and down the hall, arguing.  
  
"I still think w – you'd look inCREDible in a Porsche Boxster. Ok, I have an idea; let's do it this way. How much did the Corvette cost? You should have an idea of what you can spend."  
  
"What's wrong with a Hummer? A nice, stealthy black one for covert operations? And how should I know what it cost? When I turned sixteen I left a message with my dad's answering service and said I wanted a Corvette. It was in the driveway when I came home from school the next day."  
  
Seth came to a halt, stunned. "That's AWEsome! It's like you have a car fairy or - or a personal genie. A touch-the-phone instead of rub-the-bottle kind of genie, not to bring up disturbing images of vintage Christina Aguilera. In that case, call and ask for a Hummer AND a Porsche. Incidentally, try for a Play-station 4; perhaps there's a prototype by now. Problem solved."  
  
Summer rolled her eyes and spoke sarcastically. "Whatever would I do without you, Cohen?"  
  
"Well, at this point, you'd be a car-less, boyfriend-less, ring-less, sex-less –"  
  
"Speaking of sex? Stop talking if you ever want to have it again."  
  
Seth blinked. "Hold up for a minute. I'm sensing a pattern here. Are you always going to threaten a loss of naked privileges when I'm pissing you off?"  
  
"Of course! It's a well-known, completely effective tool to keep a man in line, since like, the beginning of time. Or was it the 60's? – Oh well, same thing! ... Anyway - Welcome to Relationships 101, Cohen."  
  
Seth nodded. "Uh huh. You really think I can't go without? I went without up until now, didn't I? Naturally I'd much rather NOT go without, because well, it's you and you're like – you –" His gaze swept down her body "- and DAMN - but you don't have me under your thumb, Summer. I have the determination, strength, and independence. Like Wolverine. I'm not your little puppet to jerk around with your every whim." He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, challenging her.  
  
She sighed and put her hand on her hip. "If I thought you were, I wouldn't want you, Cohen."  
  
"...Oh."  
  
"Are you done being dramatic?"  
  
"I'm – I'm not sure yet." He pouted. She'd thrown him off by not arguing with him. He uncrossed his arms, and she took the opportunity to get on her tiptoes and kiss him.  
  
"Would it help if I told you that you're really hot when you tell me off?"  
  
He held her gaze for a few seconds then looked away. "It might."  
  
She kissed him again. "How about if I told you I love you?"  
  
He moved to lean down and kiss her, but caught himself. "Maybe."  
  
"How about if I..." She lowered her voice and whispered the rest.  
  
Seth pushed himself off the wall and put an arm around her, leading her down the hall. "Positively and definitely."  
  
Summer shook her head, smiling. "You're so easy, Cohen. Wolverine, huh?"  
  
He threw up his hands. "Ok! I admit it - I'm your slave. Happy? I don't think any guy that has eyes in his head would blame me, though. Or any guy that really got to know you."  
  
Her expression softened and she made him stop, staring up at him with warm eyes. "Aw-aa-awww, Sethy, you say the sweetest things. I have to kiss you again." She wrapped both arms around him and pulled him close while he leaned down to kiss her. Finally hugging her tightly, Seth lay his head on top of hers.  
.  
"Does that mean we're done fighting? And never, ever, under any circumstances call me Sethy again."  
  
She pushed him away gently. "Whatever, Sethy. That wasn't fighting, that was just...discussing."  
  
"Good to know. And you should appreciate, that in the spirit of love and long, meaningful kisses, I won't pursue the 'Sethy' thing. For now. Back to the discussion - Beamer or Mercedes?"  
  
"Neither. Boring."  
  
"Hummer or Navigator?"  
  
"Hummer."  
  
"Summer, what does a princess girly-girl like you want with a Hummer?"  
  
"It's big and safe."  
  
"But you're a top-speed, classy, elegant girl, not to mention inherently dangerous - all attributes presented by a Boxster."  
  
"Is that how you see me?" She stared skeptically at him.  
  
"Well, yes. Why would I say it otherwise?"  
  
"Because you think you'd look good driving my Porsche?"  
  
"Uh... Completely irrelevant. I say it because I believe this car defines you. Which begs the question – do you want a Hummer because YOU see yourself as small, frightened and insecure?"  
  
"That's ridiculous! I can take care of myself! I'm perfectly capable of out-bitching and kicking the ass of anyone that –"  
  
"– Tries to get close to you. I know. You're a strong girl, but what's all that attitude and hostility really covering up inside, Summer? You're not that frightened child anymore."  
  
"When did you become psychic? You don't know how I feel! And when did changing me become tops on your priority list?!!" Her voice was rising to a decidedly un-hospital-like level.  
  
"Shhhh! I don't want to change you - I want to help you! You said yourself you knew what the counselors said was true but you couldn't feel it. I just took this discussion as an opportunity to show you -"  
  
"You know what? Butt out, Cohen. I don't need your therapy, ok? God!" She limped quickly away from him.  
  
"Summer!"  
  
She lifted a palm to him and kept walking.  
  
Anna was sitting further down the hall in another lounge, knees pulled up against her chest and a tear slipping down her cheek. Stopping outside of Ryan's door, Summer turned to a quickly approaching Seth and jerked a thumb toward Anna. "I'll take Ryan."  
  
"Summer, we need to talk – "  
  
"Shut up and go help Anna." She pushed open the door and disappeared.  
  
Seth sighed heavily, then continued down the hall.

* * *

"Hey. How ya doin', big guy?" Summer sat gingerly on the side of the bed.  
  
Ryan opened his eyes and focused. "Hey. Tired."  
  
"I'll bet. Mind if I hang out?"  
  
"It's cool. What's wrong with Anna?"  
  
"Uh, Anna?" Summer didn't want to get him upset.  
  
"You told Seth to go help her."  
  
"What? Do you have dog-ears or something? You heard that?"  
  
"Is she ok?"  
  
Ryan's eyes bored into her and she didn't see the point in lying. "She's crying in the lounge."  
  
He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I need to go." Propping himself up on his hands, he moved to swing his legs out of the bed.  
  
Summer stood up quickly; ready to stop him. "Whoa! No, you're not! Why do you think you're in this bed, Superman? Exhaustion? Ring any bells?" She stared him down, and he fell back against the pillow, defeated. "What happened? Did you guys fight?"  
  
"No. She just ran out." He sighed. "I'm not such a great catch, Summer. I've got a lot of baggage."  
  
"Did she say that?" Summer was skeptical.  
  
"No."  
  
"What did she say?"  
  
"That she was gonna give me some time alone." He shrugged.  
  
"You guys need to talk."  
  
Ryan just nodded.  
  
"How are you doing, Ryan? Really. I can't believe Coop's – gone." She felt the hot sting behind her eyes threatening again.  
  
"I know. It's – " He was silent when he realized he was near tears. Looking up at Summer, he saw her fighting them also. He sat up and hugged her as she began crying; taking comfort from her too. They grieved together as only the two people closest to Marissa could.  
  
Summer sniffed. "I went to her room. I had to talk to her, you know? Oh Ryan!! You never got to, did you?"  
  
He shook his head. "It's stupid, but I had a dream that I talked to her, and she knew I felt guilty. She told me it – wasn't my fault, and that I made her happy. I know it sounds weird, but I feel better. I feel like I got to say what I wanted to her."  
  
Summer was staring at him, wide eyed. "Oh. My. God. Ryan! I had, like a dream that I talked to her too! She said she had to leave and wanted to say goodbye – "Summer's voiced choked up. "- And other stuff."  
  
Ryan was shocked. "When did that happen?"  
  
"When Seth and I were in her room. I was crying and laid my head on the bed next to her. I guess I fell asleep for a few minutes or something. Seth came over to tell me he had to go, and I told him she was gone. I knew that she was, like, not in there anymore. I don't know how to explain it. Her soul was gone?"  
  
They stared at each other.  
  
"Do you think?" Summer asked him in awe.  
  
Ryan shrugged, seeming bewildered. "It felt so real..."  
  
"I know, right?"  
  
"What felt so real?"  
  
Summer and Ryan jumped, turning to see Seth coming in the door.  
  
"We both –" Anna followed Seth in and Summer decided to save the explanation. "I'll tell you later." Her voice softened. "Are you ok, Anna?"  
  
Her eyes flicked nervously to Ryan and she smiled unconvincingly. "Yeah. Fine! Everything's good."  
  
Seth rolled his eyes. "What did we just talk about, Anna? I can't believe you – Oh. Oh that's appalling. I sound exactly like my mother."  
  
Ryan nodded, alarmed. "Stop."  
  
"Yes. Stopping. Anyway, Anna and I just had a talk, and she totally ignored my words of wisdom and enlightenment. Holy time warp!! Is this what parenting feels like? I might just be feeling empathy for th– oh. No, never mind. It was just my stomach growling. "  
  
Summer couldn't help but smile with affectionate amusement before turning her attention back to the other couple. "Listen; learn a lesson from me and Cohen, ok? We wasted a lot of time not saying what was on our minds because of stupid stuff. I was scared; he assumed he knew what I thought, blah, blah, lameness and whatever. It's apparent that you two are headed down the same catwalk and not communicating your individual fashion sense to each other."  
  
Everyone looked perplexed for a second, then Seth's expression cleared with understanding. "Yes. Ah... A very...interesting analogy, Summer, thank you. So talk to us. How did you guys go from acting out the new couple 'everything-you-say-is-brilliant-fascinating-and/or-hilarious' and 'let's-make-out-anywhere-the- mood-strikes-us' scenarios this morning, to acting out a commercial for anti-depressants?" Silence. "Ryan?"  
  
He stared at the bed. Finally he mumbled. "We should talk by ourselves."  
  
Seth sighed. "Yes you should, so you both can skirt around the issue until you're uncomfortable with each other and finally hit bottom by no longer speaking to or seeing one other. Consider this is your official intervention. Payback for giving me the good advice to drop to my knees and beg Summer for forgiveness and another chance. Answer her question, bro. Nobody said any of this was easy."  
  
Ryan was quiet for a moment, and then looked up. "She's sick of all the mess going on. It's too much to deal with, to be with me." He looked down again.  
  
Seth crossed his arms and turned to Anna. "Your turn."  
  
She was watching Ryan in confusion. "I figured he didn't want me here. After the news about Marissa, I thought he would feel guilty about being with me – I mean, he's in love – he was, with her, and I'm just - new. We don't have anything like what they did... This must be so painful for you, Ryan."  
  
He lifted his eyes to hers. "It is. But like I said before, if she woke up in an hour, that doesn't mean I'd get back together with her. I love her, but she's not what I need in my life." His gaze dropped to the bed again and his voice got softer. "I didn't want you to go. I – I uh – kind of need you. Unless this is too weird. I get it."  
  
"No..." Anna crossed the room and sat on the other side of the bed. "I'm sorry I left." She grabbed his hand and he weakly pulled her into a hug.  
  
"Aw, look at that. I guess you guys won't be wanting us hanging around, huh?" Summer stood up. "Let's go, Cohen. Our work here is done."  
  
Seth thoughtfully watched the couple hugging on the bed. "This is nice. But strange. Usually our work is done only when the room is filled with chaos and disorder."  
  
"We can't be the life of the party all the time, Seth."  
  
"Bite your tongue, woman. Seth Cohen IS the party, all the time."  
  
"I'd rather bite yours." She grabbed his hand as they left the room. "Take me home, baby."  
  
Seth was surprised. "You're not mad about my automoble therapy anymore?"  
  
"Life's too short. You were right anyway. I just didn't like hearing it."  
  
He stopped in the middle of the hall. "I'm sorry - WHAT did you just say? Because I could almost swear...that you said I was right. I misheard that, evidently. Jump in here and laugh at my absurdity at anytime."  
  
"Don't make me hurt you, Cohen. I'm tired; I don't feel well and kicking your ass sounds like a lot of work. You said what you thought I needed to hear. You're actually right in this case, and my denying it is the same as lying. Everything about this last week, these last few months - would be different if all of us had just said what we really thought – told the truth. No. More. Lies."

* * *

"Mmmm." Summer stretched lazily. "This is heaven." After driving back to her house, Seth had doled out their medication and then helped her out to the hot tub, gently removing her clothing, then his own.  
  
"Tomorrow night's gonna suck beyond description, though. Beyond even the wildest, most bizarre description of the ultimate suckage." After a long soak, he'd pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and helped her into one of his tee shirts. It was way too big on her, but he decided she still looked cute as hell in it. After lighting a fire, he threw cushions from the couch and chair in front of it for her to sit on, then positioned himself behind her. "Pfffffft. Sleeping in separate rooms."  
  
"Oh, I know. I looove sleeping with you. It's so nice to wake up in the middle of the night and feel you next to me, and I can snuggle up and go back to sleep all happy."  
  
Seth finished drying her hair with another towel and started pulling a comb through it. "You do that?"  
  
"Yeah, silly."  
  
He smiled to himself, picturing it. "I might accidentally get lost on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Or sleepwalk into your room."  
  
"We could set the alarm and make sure you were back in your room before your mom got up." She giggled.  
  
"We'll figure out something. Ok, your hair's done." He laid the comb down and ran his hand over the long damp strands. "It's so – nice. Pretty." He felt his face turning red, still not comfortable giving specific compliments to Summer.  
  
She turned with difficulty to look at him over her shoulder. "Thank you, sweetie."  
  
"Sure, sure. Now it's time for the Seth Cohen deluxe back rub."  
  
Summer saw how excited he was, all so he could help her again. She gave him his favorite little smile. "I already feel better, Seth. Let's just relax."  
  
"No, no! You still hurt; this will help. Trust me. C'mon, let's get you onto the bed – or would you rather stay here in front of the fire?"  
  
"You're a doll, but you don't have to give me a massage. I feel better now."  
  
Seth's voice was flat. "Guess what? You don't get a say in this, Roberts. Bed? Or fire? Pick one. Now."  
  
"Oooh, Cohen!" She purred. "I like that 'take charge' voice. Ummm. Bed."  
  
He stood then bent down, helping her get up. "Lean on me." They slowly walked to the bed, where he pulled down the covers.  
  
She sat on the edge of the bed, looking up at him. "You're spoiling me again."  
  
"That's my job." His eyes traveled over her shoulders and arms. "Your bruises are fading."  
  
"Yes. I'm a lovely shade of green now instead of black and purple." Her tone was sarcastic.  
  
"Quit it. You're beautiful." He touched her cheek. "Your scrape is almost healed and the bruise on your face is gone. They'll all be gone soon." He bent to kiss her and his cell phone rang. "That's not really my phone ringing." It rang again; he groaned. "Damn. It is." He stood and turned, picking the phone up off the table to check the Caller ID. "Mother, of course. We might be discovering sex or something!"  
  
He hit the "talk" button. "Hey, Mom." He rolled his eyes. "She's fine. You're not planning to use her health as an excuse to call every hour or so are you? Just in case we're doing anything besides sleeping? She needs her rest ...... Ryan did what? .........Why is everything a crisis for you? Just because she was lying on the bed with him doesn't mean they're sleeping together. They just got together last night, neither of them are that easy, and really, mom, whether Anna and Ryan or Summer and I, for that matter, are sleeping together is none of your business ......... ...Yeah, yeah, it's your responsibility to what? We're not stupid; we've seen enough of the pod people have abortions and fall down the alcoholic well afterward or ruin their Ivy League futures to know to be careful............... No, that does NOT mean we're having sex. Oh wait. Yes, you called right in the middle of it. Summer, moan for mom, would you?............Ok. I suppose that WAS juvenile, crass, and unnecessary. I sincerely apologize. Listen. Let me just break this down for you. If we should ever want to have sex we'll have it whether or not we're sleeping at Summer's house or at ours. You do realize that, right? Unlike YOUR generation, as I'm gathering from your behavior anyway, kids our age don't have a problem with sex during the daylight hours, you know?.........I don't feel like I AM being disrespectful, other than the part that I already apologized for. I'm just trying to make you see that you're being a little overzealous about guarding my virginity .........Do I need to bring up your past with Mr. Cooper again to make my point? As much as it disgusts and pains me to even think about it, I'm guessing sex was had while you two were together in high school............Uh huh. You have a good night too, mom. And don't worry, I'm so traumatized by these conversations with you today that I'll probably be 30 and on my 5th shrink before I'm able to consider having sex again......... No. I did not just admit to having sex because I said 'again'. I said 'consider it'. Again. Goodnight mother. I'm hanging up now. Summer is doing the 'Dance of the Seven Veils' and she's down to number three." Seth hung up the phone, turned off the ringer and set it back onto the nightstand. "Oh my God! She's insane!"  
  
"No, she's not. She's doing what a mom's supposed to do – make sure her kid's responsible and ready for things more adult than comic books. That's why parents set limits. They've been there before and don't want you to grow up too fast. You know. Like I did." She poked him in the chest. "Because she loves you, dumbass. I'll bet you never did anything wrong or gave your parents any problems before Ryan showed up, did you?"  
  
"I'll have you know that comic books are – "  
  
She cut him off impatiently. "Cohen, I'm not slamming your comic books. Focus for me. You KNOW what I mean."  
  
He sighed. "Yeah, I see the point. And you're right. They didn't understand me or know how to talk to me, and I never went anywhere to get in trouble. I had no friends to do anything with until Ryan came."  
  
"So look at her side. Their formerly withdrawn, lonely kid suddenly has friends and goes out, and found a girlfriend that he bought a ring for, and he's spending the nights at her house. You went from 0 to 60 on her in less than a year, and it's going to take a while for her to catch up."  
  
He thought for a minute. "You're very wise."  
  
Summer poked his stomach. "And don't you forget it, buster. So. Get busy."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Backrub? The one you insisted on giving me, remember? Get to work, slave." 


	30. Lies30

A/N – I apologize for the length of time between chapters! I've been in a stage where i have little time my fun stuff. I expect that to end soon. Also, my phone service was out for almost 3 weeks after Charley hit, so i couldn't get online. The Lord only knows when power and service will be restored after Hurricane Frances. With this in mind, i'm putting up what i have of the next chapter, even though it's short and incomplete. (All S & S; the REST of this chapter would have the plot moving forward.) I WILL finish the story, and I SO appreciate everyone that's told me they like it and miss it, and all that review. Thanks for stickin' with me all this time, and all the support. You guys are the coolest. I'll update as soon as i can.

Lies 30

"Mmmmmmm... God, Cohen, you're sooo good at that..."

"I believe I remember you saying that before. So I can add "Masseur" to my resume of useful skills, then?"

Summer rolled languidly onto her back. "Oh yeah." She raised a hand to him as he sat down next to her. "Put your hand up here." Seth placed his palm against hers. "Look how big your hands are! Mine looks like a baby's!"

"You do realize that I'm around 10 inches taller than you, right? I'm a tall guy. You're a tiny girl. Except, well, your, um -chest area." He cleared his throat. "You know. Those are nice sized."

"You think?"

He nodded uncomfortably. "So. What do you want to do tomorrow after we move you?"

She smiled, finding his embarrassment amusing. "You're so adorable."

"I am? Of course I am. Wait. How did I manage that?"

"You're different from other guys."

"Don't remind me. Not so long ago my differences revolted you."

Shaking her head, she pulled him down next to her. "You did not revolt me. I was just a little bit stuck-up, and like, narrow-minded. I still can't believe you even liked me."

Seth grinned slyly. "It was all about your chest. And I knew you couldn't resist the Cohen charm forever."

Summer heaved a sigh. "Great. And now you prove that all men are alike. Already." She rolled her eyes. "I knew it was too good to be true." She dismissed him with a wave of her hand. "Go away now; I'm done with you."

"Ha. You love me. You'd miss me in about 5 minutes. "He rolled on his side and she followed suit, facing him.

"Oh, but five whole minutes of peace and quiet! Sounds wonderful."

"Are you implying that I talk too much, madam?"

"You ARE a genius." She responded enthusiastically.

"Even with my verbal skills, you'd miss me."

"Whatev...."

"You'd miss my big hands, and you'd miss my big –"

"Cohen!"

"What?! I was gonna say hugs, naughty girl! And you'd miss being spoiled rotten, etc., so on, and so forth. Am I wrong?"

"Yes. You're wrong."

"Liar."

"Am not! What I WOULD miss is talking to you. Sometimes you make sense out of things that I can't. You're funny and kind and smart and so sweet and you make me feel like life's going to get better and better, just because I know you. I have some – relief, like, quiet inside, because of you."

Seth's eyes widened, and he was silent for a long moment. "Well...... Summer. I think you're the first person to ever render me speechless."

"I'm serious, Seth. I tell you that I love you, but sometimes those three words don't say everything that I want you to know."

He reached across the space between them and grabbed her hand, touched, but at a loss how to respond.

She grinned impishly. "I have to admit, though, I do like being spoiled."

Seth breathed an exaggerated sigh. "Oh, thank God for the levity. I felt the need to write a country and western song for a minute there."

Summer's eyes iced over. "Nice, Cohen. I tell you deep feelings and you make fun of me." She jerked her hand away and sat up quickly, clutching her side.

"C'mon, I didn't mean it like that." He followed, reaching for her, but she was already crawling off the bed. "Summer, wait."

Afraid that going after her would make the situation worse, he sat back against the headboard and watched her make her way across the vast room to the glass wall overlooking the ocean. "I wasn't making fun of you. It just...sounded like I was - which I realize is an incredibly lame statement, now that I've said it. But I wasn't. Honestly."

She raised both palms to the window and dropped her forehead against the cool glass. "Whatever, asshole. Turn out the light before you leave."

Seth raised his eyebrows, sure that he'd heard wrong. "Before – before I what?!" For good measure he reached over to the lamp and flipped it off.

Instantly she was transformed into a small shapely shadow against a background of stars and moonlight. It glinted on her hair as she whirled around. "LEAVE."

Groaning, he closed his eyes and rubbed his temple. "Oh Lord, not this again."

"WHAT did you just say?! Are you really TRYING to piss me off?!! Because if you hadn't noticed, I'm ALREADY THERE!"

He moved to the edge of the bed and stood. Keeping his voice calm, he began walking slowly towards her. "You're not going to draw me into an argument, Summer, and I'm not leaving." He dropped into the chair halfway across the room. "Stop testing me. You know better than anyone that attempts at witty sarcasm fully unprocessed through the brain flow from my mouth when I'm confronted with situations that I have no idea how to handle, like, um, situations that include, uh, specific feelings. It's what I do. And I'm a guy. Guys don't know how to do that stuff."

"So this is MY fault?! Because I didn't break down the odds of whether you were babbling mindlessly? Unbelievable, Cohen. You're just -"

"I'm not saying it's your fault and I'm not trying to defend myself. I was –"

"Oh, I know! It just SOUNDED like you were, right?"

Seth took a deep breath, determined not to argue. "I was utterly and completely, not to mention totally at a loss for words but I felt like I needed to respond since you were baring your soul, and maybe I panicked a little, so unfortunately a stupid attempt at humor ensued. I truly didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm not good at relationships, Summer. I – I haven't had – um – any, until Ryan, not counting the close personal friendships I've forged with the Playstation and computer, of course. And uh," he cleared his throat and his voice lowered, "well, I've certainly never had one as important and meaningful as this one with you, so I'm kind of flying blind, if that makes any sense." There was a quiet moment, then a very soft response.

"So am I."

Her silhouette was lowered to the floor now, her head on her knees, arms hugging them to her chest. After crossing the distance between them, he crouched beside her. "Listen, I know you're hurting from the accident still, and you lost your best friend today; the last thing you needed was my stupid mouth. Go ahead and cry, heck, hit me if it'll make you feel better." He tentatively reached a hand out and touched her shoulder.

Raising her head to look at him, she sniffed. "I may have over-reacted. Maybe."

He held up his hand with his thumb and forefinger pressed together. "Maybe just a smidgen. But hey, you're entitled - You've had a horrible week and you were off your meds all day, Summer. And I'm an idiot."

She gave him a little smile. "You're not an idiot, Cohen. You're squarely in dork territory, though... Sadly enough, I like that about you."

"I prefer to think of myself as a pacesetter, leading others like me in the parade, marching to our own drums. But whatever. What do you say - do you forgive me?"

"I will, probably, after some serious sucking up on your part." She wiped a lone tear from her face.

"Spoken like a true princess. So. How may I serve you, my pet?" He sat down and hugged her.

"To start with, you can help me get up. I'm all rolled into a ball here and I don't think standing is going to be any kind of a good time."

He stood and bent to help her. "Done. Come here...easy..." She finally was on her feet, unsteadily holding onto him for support. He hugged her, then swiftly picked her up.

"Cohen, I can walk! You're going to hurt your arm!"

"Shush. It's only across the room and I feel ok." He smiled as she put her arms around his neck and settled against him. "I've always wanted to do this. It looks so cool in the movies." He lowered her to the bed and then fell back onto it himself, winded.

Summer gave him a patented exasperated look and spoke dryly. "You're my hero, baby. But in the movies? The guy doesn't pass out all out of breath after carrying the girl across the room. He bends down and kisses her, and then they make mad, passionate love all night in Triple X detail."

Seth raised his head and turned to look at her. "Just what kind of movies have you been watching, missy? Do remember to invite me next time, ok?"

Summer crawled over and planted a kiss on him. "We can make our own movie, sweetie." She stretched out, settling on top of him and going back for a longer kiss. Sliding off to his side, her fingers began tracing lightly over his bare chest and stomach.

He felt himself falling under her spell, willing to do anything she wanted, and forced his eyes open, shaking his head. "No, we can't."

Summer laughed. "I was just kidding about the movie, Cohen. We've already had that conversation and there was bodily harm involved if you tried, remember?"

He gently pushed her hand away. "I know. I meant, we can't, uh; we can't have sex. Not for a while. Not, though, because I don't want to, because – perish the thought - but because regardless of what you've been telling me about how it's not hurting you, I've come to the conclusion that you're never going to feel better if we don't stop the bumping and grind-age. So to speak." Raising his voice over her protests, he continued. "This is not a discussion. I'm going to take care of you whether you like it or not. We'll have plenty of time after you get well to make mad, passionate love all night. In Triple X detail, naturally."

She sat up, eyes wide in disbelief and resentment. "You're not my keeper, Cohen! I think I know what hurt– "

He calmly laid his palm across her mouth. "Quiet. I'm going to get up and get you another round of medication, and then I'm going to make you feel better. I don't want to hear another word, and I'm not kidding." Confidently, he took his hand away and got up, heading to the kitchen for water.

She watched him go, stunned silent.

When he returned, she took her pills and then lay back on the pillows, eyeing him suspiciously.

Catching her gaze, he crawled onto the bed. "What?"

"I'm not sure if I like this new you. You seem to have grown a spine and stuff."

"Nice try, but you already told me that you love it when I talk to you like that." He pulled the covers down for her. "Get in."

She settled into the bed and he pulled the sheet over her legs. Carefully, he felt along her arm and then down across her ribs and stomach, watching her reactions to see what areas felt tender. "Back or front first?"

"What are you doing? I already got a back rub!"

"Hush. Who says I'm massaging anything? Back or front?"

She rolled her eyes. "Back, I guess."

"Perfect. Lift up." She sat up as he pulled on the t-shirt she wore, lifting it over her head. "Roll over. I'm gonna start a fire."

Summer changed position and watched as he coaxed flames into life in the fireplace, casting a flickering yellow glow through the dimly starlit room.

"I love fires. They're so...homey, and romantic." She sighed.

Seth returned and lay next to her on the bed. Running his fingertips lightly over her arms, shoulders and back, he spoke softly. "I know you do." Pulling down the covers, his hands slowly traveled lower, across lush curves and down her legs. He worked his way back up her nude body, following the path of his fingers with lips and tongue. She shivered at the delicious sensations his touch gave her.

"I thought we weren't having sex, Cohen," she whispered.

He bit her earlobe gently. "We're not. YOU are. You're going to relax while I take your mind off your pain. Uh, not to say that I'm not, technically, having it, since I will be involved, of course, as an active participant in the deed, but we're not - so to speak - doing, you know, that. Sex. The, uh, most recognized version of it. Ok, I –"

"I GET it, ok?" Raising her head, she turned on her side to look at him. "But that's no fun! What about you? That's -"

He quickly kissed her to cut off her protests. "Shhh...." Kissing her again, he carefully pushed her shoulder until she was on her back. His head moved lower, lips skimming her throat while he continued stroking her soft skin as lightly as he could. "Am I hurting you?"

"Mmmm......not even...... you seriously don't me want me to do – like, anything? For you?" She took in a sharp breath. "Oh god, that feels nice." She raised her head to look down at him, simply not comprehending that a guy didn't want some kind of sex in return. He was unbelievably and so totally sweet.

Seth lifted his lips from her breast. "Nope. This way I can hold this shining moment over your head forever, dangling it in front of you as a key source of bribery and extortion for the respect and admiration that I should always have, yet rarely receive from you. And sexual favors, of course."

She nodded and let her head fall back on the pillow. "

He smiled, then lowered his lips to her silky skin again, continuing his exploration of the perfect female form.

The coals were barely casting an orange glow now, and light from the fireplace caused the shadows shifting on the ceiling. With his head resting comfortably on Summer's leg, he'd been staring upwards for quite a while it seemed. Shadows danced slowly around each other, merging and pulling apart, wrapping around each other in an effort to become one shadow. It went on and on.

Her ragged breathing had long since slowed, easing into a quiet steady rhythm barely heard. She took in a deep breath, letting it out in a slow contented sigh while shifting slightly on the bed, reaching out a hand toward his side. After meeting with cold sheets, her eyes slid open. "Seth?" Hearing no response, she lifted up to look and at the same time felt the pressure of his head on her leg. "Wha' ya doin' down there? Come up here with me."

He heard her sleepy voice, not the words but just the mellow tones she made. Her voice was an insane mix of soft, sometimes remarkably childlike pitches wrapped in the low, husky tone of a beautiful temptress. He vowed to never tell her that listening to her speak sometimes made him want to buy her an ice cream cone or a lollipop, and ravage her for hours, over and over again. Not necessarily in that order. Fingers stroking through his hair brought him out of his dreamlike trance. "Huh?" He raised his head to look at her.

"Come up here so we can snuggle, baby. I'm cold."

The sleepy voice and imploring brown eyes had him crawling up the bed to her instantaneously. After pulling the covers over them, he settled back into the pillow as she curled up against his side and nudged under his arm to rest her head on his shoulder.

"......mmm...that's better......"

He kissed dark hair and whispered to her. "Do you still hurt anywhere? I can get you some more stuff to take."

He felt her head shake slightly against his shoulder.

"......you fixed me already..." She yawned. "'m just so sleepy..."

He smiled a little. He had figured more painkillers plus a "special moment" would help her sleep well through the night. "'Kay. Night."

She yawned again. ".........love you, sweetie............"

The combination of the words and the tiny, trusting voice they arrived on hit him squarely in the gut, and he instantly wanted her more than life itself. His brain was consumed with images of her flushed cheeks and the way her eyes went soft and liquid, looking up at him as he moved inside her. He could feel her arms around him, hands sliding over his back and butt, fingers digging into flesh and muscle at times, and knew how she felt under him, hot bare skin against his, giving back as much as she could. The urge to roll over her and fall into that soft husky voice and those bottomless brown eyes, the evidence of her love for him shown by each gasp and moan they made, was extreme and huge, and his hands shook with the effort of restraining himself. Gritting his teeth, he forced thoughts of the car accident and the reason why they weren't having sex into his head. Reliving the moment the car hit her swiftly deflated his enthusiam, inspiring guilt for thoughts of selfish desires. Remembering he was a 17 year old guy who'd just had his hands, lips, and tongue all over the gorgeous girl sleeping next to him without any gratification for himself killed the guilt in it's tracks, leaving him simply...exhausted.

Deep, dreamless sleep overtook him.


	31. Lies31

A/N Thanks to all of you who keep reviewing and e-mailing me, prodding me to post. Your interest in this story, and the fact that you're reading, or re-reading my other ones, too, is extremely flattering and I'm like, humbled. The next chapter is already started, so guaranteed not to take too long to post. Thank You!!

A/N – I don't know about y'all, but Season 2 starting like this with Seth and Summer apart makes it hurt to watch the show. It's so sad. But then, maybe I'm obsessed.

A/N – This chapter is dark, dealing mostly with Summer's abuse. Be forewarned.

Lies 31

Summer woke, eyes adjusting to what looked like a mid-morning version of sparkling Pacific Ocean just beyond the bluffs and beaches. Blue sky reflected off the ever-changing surface of the water as waves rolled endlessly onto bone colored sand. The colors were vibrant, with the deep green of leaves on trees growing at the edge of the bluffs complementing the scene. Webster should have this picture beside the word "serenity" in his dictionary. She felt Seth, warm and cozy, against her back and the pressure of his arm across her waist, quietly savoring the moment. It was still new, yet already so comfortable sleeping with him beside her; how totally awful that this was the last time it would happen. She allowed a brief second of sadness to pass before returning to relish the mood of contentment and peace that waking up with the person she loved gave her. The person that loved her. It still seemed a little like something she was reading in a book instead of something that was actually happening, but without a doubt, he loved her. A rush of goose bumps followed by a shiver ran through her as memories of the way he'd shown his affection last night came to mind. A glance over her shoulder at him now brought a smile to her face. He looked so innocent while asleep, hair all crazy and messy, that one would never guess that deep inside he was as world-weary as she was. The thought of finding ways to fill up those raw, dark spaces inside him made her laugh at herself. Normally she'd get up in the morning with nothing more than the thought of making herself happy first on her list of things to do. And second and third. Clothes, jewelry, purses, shoes, those were the fun things that made Summer Roberts' world go around - the things that always made everything that was wrong feel better. Momentarily, anyway.

She drank in the tranquility - the peaceful view outside; Seth's reassuring arm around her; the sound of his slow quiet breaths. When she stayed at this house from now on, it would be here in the guest suite. Her room upstairs, with its pink and flowery décor, seemed too young for her now. That room had belonged to a different person.

She got up slowly, being careful not to wake Seth, and went to the kitchen to make breakfast.

* * *

Seth lay back against the pillows with a groan. "I ate too much. It's entirely possible that I'll explode any second now, miss the rest of my life, and disgust your housekeeper beyond reason when she has to clean pieces of me out of the carpet and sheets." 

Summer made a face as she moved the breakfast tray to the nightstand. "Nice visual, Cohen. Thanks so much for that. More coffee?"

He eyed her as she sat next to him on the bed. "No way it'll fit. Did you know I've never had breakfast in bed before? It was pretty nice. Decidedly weird to eat a meal off a tray, instead of, say… snacks from a plastic bag, after which you wake up with Cheetos stuck to the side of your face and in your hair – oh my god, it would be horrible to wake up with French Toast and eggs grafted to my skin – quite slimy. And sticky. You know, once? I had a bowl of ice cream and it - " Catching her raised eyebrow and obvious "you're such a dork" expression, he stopped. "Not, uh, that the Cheetos thing really happened. I'm just sayin'. …… It was cool. Thanks."

She leaned forward for a kiss, then sat back, running a finger down his chest. "Last night was amazingly cool, too. You are definitely worthy of breakfast in bed."

"So you're saying that if I hadn't brought you orgasmic ecstasy last night I wouldn't be worthy of such an extravagance?"

"I did not say that. The orgasmic ecstasy was just a capper to a long list of things that make you worthy of breakfast in bed."

"Oh."

"That's all you're gonna say?"

"Summer, listen. It's gonna take a little while for compliments from you to be NOT like your lips are moving in Japanese, but I'm hearing badly dubbed English like in the "Godzilla" movies because I'm expecting rejection immediately followed by dismissal from you. Moving on, though, do I get this again tomorrow? Huh? Cuz that would be cool. Oh man, Ryan and Dad are gonna be so jealous; breakfast at the Cohen house normally comes down to a race and a wrestle for the last bagel."

Summer shook her head, smiling. "You're so twelve. We'll see, sweetie. Maybe I'll make breakfast for, like, everyone. That might be good. And I'm uh, actually really sorry about the "Godzilla" thingy. I know I was horrible to you."

He waved a hand, dismissing it. "You really don't have to fix breakfast, you know."

"I know. But a family breakfast sounds, well, interesting, actually. Weirdness, huh?"

Seth put an arm around her. "Not really. You've probably never had one. But I'm warning you, we'll bore you back to sleep within 5 minutes."

Summer turned to him and climbed onto his lap, putting her arms around his neck. "Nuh uh."

"You will undoubtedly fit right in." He hugged her, burying his face in her hair. "Mmm, you smell nice. You must've been up for a while; you already took a shower. Which brings us to the question, Miss 'Fixin' breakfast and showerin' by myself' - How are you feelin' today?"

She pulled away and shifted on his lap, straddling him, then winked. "Why? You wanna fool around, lover?" Her lips went to his neck, then down his chest.

He sighed. "Oh God yes. No. Ok I do. But, I mean, we – Summer? Summer!" He grabbed her hands and pulled them away from his stomach, where they'd been making a slow descent.

She stuck out her lower lip, working her wiles like a pro. "But I feel really good! I got lots of sleep and, and I'm ok! C'mon, you won't hurt me, I promise." Resting her head on one of his hands still holding hers up in the air between them, she added sad eyes to her routine. "Please?" She kissed a knuckle then ran her tongue slowly down his thumb. "You didn't get to have any fun last night and we need to make up for that." She began kissing his neck again, lifting her lips to smile as he let out a low moan.

Seth took a deep breath, grabbed her shoulders lightly and pushed her away. "Summer, stop torturing me. It's mean and just plain wrong because you know I want nothing more than to- to do you. Hey, did you hear that? Proof that it's wired into all males' brains that once they have sex they must talk about it like Neanderthals, generally while in a group competing to see who's manlier." He made a face. "Call me abnormal, but I'll skip the group part."

She rolled her eyes. "You think saying 'do you' is talking like a Neanderthal? I've heard much worse. Nail, di -"

Seth quickly freed one hand and covered her mouth. "Do NOT give me any ideas, and stop changing the subject. I meant what I said! No porn star practice until you're better."

She sat back and frowned at him, pulling her hand from his. "OhMyGod, Cohen. I HATE it when you're all firm and decisivey." She sighed heavily. "Fine, we won't have sex." Her face brightened suddenly. Scrambling off his lap, she grabbed his hand and pulled him out of bed. Summer glanced back as she led him into the bathroom. "But I can repay a favor. Who knew this giving unselfishly crap would actually sound fun?"

"Uh, what are we doing again? Giving unselfishly in the bathroom sounds, um, well - " Seth followed blindly, uncomprehending.

"I'm going to help you take a shower, genius. You know, hit those spots you can't reach so well." Reaching the glass enclosure, she pulled her big t-shirt off and motioned for him to get out of his pajama bottoms.

"Oo-oo-ohhhh." He smiled shyly and looked at the floor while she grabbed some towels and set them on the counter. Suddenly remembering their conversation the night before, he looked up, dismayed. "But the bribery! The extortion! I was so looking forward to it, and now I won't have one up on you!"

She adjusted the water temperature, then turned to stare at him. "Are you seriously, like, thinking about that? Right now?"

Seth thought about what he was saying for a second. "Uh, temporary insanity? Will that fly?"

"With you, always. Get in here, big fella."

"Yes, ma'am." He shut the glass door behind him.

"Besides, there's no rule that says you can't, well, do another good deed and have one up on me again."

"Whoa. Killer rule. I like this game."

"Me too."

"Relationships are fun."

"This one is. Mmmn hmmmn. Good, clean, fun…"

* * *

Summer walked into the bedroom area, humming quietly while she chose clothing out of her bag. She would have to remember to try the stairs, or send Seth up for some different outfits before they left for the Cohen's today. She broke into a smile, wondering if he'd be able to make it up the stairs either. When she'd stepped out of the shower, he'd still been backed up against the side wall trying to catch his breath, curly dark hair plastered onto the glass, barely able to prop himself up with elbows on the safety rail. Giggling to herself at the memory, she was delighted by his reaction. She'd gotten an alarming amount of satisfaction from hearing his enthusiastic mutterings during her performance, escalating into a downright disorderly vocal appreciation of her skills when he came; quickly followed by a look of dumbfounded amazement as his knees buckled and he slid down the slick shower wall. Heh. It was good to hear genuine gratitude like that. Good thing there were no neighbors living close by, though. 

Seth staggered into the room wearing only a towel around his waist and quickly dropped onto the bed. "Good Lord! You could kill a guy doing that, Summer! I want to see 18, for the voting and if only to prove to my parents that my adulthood won't ever be as yawn-inducingly boring as theirs, ok?"

"Awww. So the poor baby couldn't handle the fun new game? I'll never do it again, then." She walked over to him and he grabbed her hand, pulling her down onto the bed beside him.

"Ha! Don't underestimate what Seth Cohen can handle. The poor baby wasn't talking about the fun new game - You can do that any time you want, preferably once every ½ an hour or so. I was talking about you leaving me dazed and incapacitated inside of a shower with the water running. I could have drowned!" He kissed her.

Summer was unfazed. "You have a pool. You know how to swim."

"One cannot swim, or even move, when all of one's nerve endings are completely shorted out. Apparently you weren't paying attention in that class." Seth lay back on the bed.

"There was a class on showering? Huh. I guess you'll have to tutor me. I had no idea you were in mortal danger. I thought you were, like, bulletproof, or something." She teased him.

He sat up and kissed the top of her head. "Yes, there will be tutoring, and no, that's you, with your bullet deflecting bracelets, Wonder Woman." He got to his feet, briefly steadying himself with a hand on her shoulder. "Ok, I think I can stand upright long enough to shave now." He headed back to the bathroom.

She shook her head, amused, and went back to the bag for her clothes. Dropping them on the bed, she was surprised to hear a short knock at the door. Before she could even move to answer it, the doorknob turned and it opened.

"Bill? I thought you were going to be here 2 weeks ago. I would have – Summer! What are you doing down here? You have a room of your own!"

Summer stiffened in shock as her father stepped into the suite. As he stared, she nervously pulled the towel that covered her up further towards her neck. "Daddy? What – what are you doing here? I thought you were in Pakistan. Or something." Her voice was small.

"I heard something about needing a new car. I was going to leave a note, but then I saw the truck in the driveway and thought Bill Hagerty was here." He looked around the room, everywhere but at her. "Why aren't you in your own room?"

"I got hurt - I can't get up the stairs. You – you came all the way from Pakistan to bring me a car?"

Seth could hear the hope infused in the question from his position just inside the bathroom doorway. He closed his eyes, steeling himself for her father's answer. He desperately wanted to go to Summer, but was sure the fact that they were both dressed only in towels would not go over well. He was already doing a slow burn, since, so far, the only interest "Daddy" had shown in her health had to do with why she wasn't in her room, which, basically - wasn't a show of interest. Maybe if she'd had her mother, or any kind of real parental relationship, her need to feel a connection with her dad wouldn't be there and she wouldn't keep getting hurt by him. He had a bad feeling the conversation was about to go further downhill.

"I've been in LA for a month, Summer, opening a new branch. It's a real shame about the Corvette; that was a one-of-a-kind classic."

Seth's jaw literally dropped at the casual cruelty of the remark. His heart twisted inside him as he watched all the color drain from Summer's face. She instantly looked like one of those porcelain figurines he'd seen in the Hallmark shops, with statuesque, unmoving beauty captured on an inexpressive face. Any second now it would crumble into shards of glass. She'd been so emotional this last week, dissolving into tears when almost any feeling hit her, good or bad; but of course, this week she'd also been run over by a car, lost her best friend, dealt with needless shame and embarrassment after finding out he knew about her childhood, took a difficult leap of faith and trusted him, etc… . That was a huge pool of profound, provocative feelings she'd been swimming in. He figured, from what he knew about girls, all that crying was pretty normal. But this? This was going to be a full-fledged meltdown, and he wasn't about to stand in the doorway and watch while it happened.

Her voice came again, small, soft, disbelieving. She looked at the ground, still showing no emotion on her face. "You were in LA? But I sent messages, I was in the hospital……you didn't even call……" Seth tightened his towel as he strode quickly across the room to her, then put an arm around a shoulder and tried to turn her away. "C'mon, Summer. We're just gonna – "

"Who in the hell are you? Get out of my house right now!"

Summer turned at the same time Seth did. "Daddy, no! This is Seth, he's my – "

"Oh, I know what he is." Her father looked around the room, taking in the breakfast tray by the rumpled bed, their two bags of clothing, and finally their wet hair and the towels covering them both. "But this one's scrawny; did you already go through the water-polo and football teams? The housekeeper's told me all about your adventures, Summer. I'm so disappointed that you turned out just like your mother. She was quite a little whore, also."

The only noise in the room was of her sharp intake of breath.

Seth felt as though time stopped as he turned to catch her expression of open-mouthed shock dissolve into crushed bewilderment. He found himself lunging across the room, unaware of anything other than his desire to destroy. "Hey!" The word, perhaps in unfamiliar territory, came out as only a squeak. He cleared his throat, stopping in front of Mr. Roberts. "Hey! You don't talk to her like that! She – she's not like that – don't EVER call her that again!!" Seth realized Summer's father was the same height, but quite a bit broader and heavier than him. He faintly registered that this move could end quite badly, but stood his ground, not caring.

The older man just smiled. "And what are you going to do about it, son?" He turned to Summer. "So you've got a white knight this time, huh? From the looks of him, he's just grateful a pretty girl let him touch her. He probably doesn't know he's just one in a long line of – "

Seth saw white and grabbed the man by the throat, pulling his good arm back and making a fist. His tone was matter of fact, but his eyes were dangerous. "I know everything about her, and I know ALL about you. Pervert." His tone dropped. "I really don't do this sort of thing? But I am already quite motivated to hit you, just on principle, so I'd. STOP. TALKING. If I were you."

Seth knew excessive satisfaction when the older man's expression changed from cocky to alarmed and his face went white. He wasn't sure if "Dad" was reacting to his threatened violence, or the suggested knowledge of his crimes, but at this point, he didn't care. His head was in a new, protective, and potentially dark place, and he was seriously HOPING the man would say something else, anything, so he could hit him. Stepping up beside them, Summer grabbed Seth's arm. He lowered his fist reluctantly, then stepped back, letting go of her dad's throat and breaking their locked glare to glance at Summer, finally realizing what he was doing and what he'd said. "OhMyGod. I - I've become Ryan. Sorry. I shouldn't have – " Expecting her to be in tears, he was surprised when she interrupted him with a sad smile and a shake of the head.

She squeezed his hand quickly and kissed him on the cheek. "I got this, Cohen. Thanks, but I got this one."

He hesitated, unsure, but she nodded so he reluctantly backed away. "OK. But I'm not leavin'." He crossed his arms.

Summer walked over to the bar where her dad had retreated. He'd just knocked back a quickly poured shot when she slapped him across the face. Stunned, he gaped at her. She slapped him once more.

Seth's jaw dropped again, shocked. He hadn't seen that coming.

"How DARE you call me a whore when you're the one that Taught. Me. How to BE ONE! What - did you think I didn't remember, Daddy? I've NEVER forgotten how much it hurt the first time you did it, how confused I was, how scared! I grew up thinking sex meant love because THAT'S. WHAT. YOU. TAUGHT ME!" Each word was emphasized by a poke in his chest with her finger.

Mr. Roberts nervously eyed Seth, who had one hand over his mouth in dismay. "Summer, I hardly think this is – "

"OH, no, YOU don't get to talk. I've been waiting all these years for you to talk about it, and you NEVER. DID… Your turn's over - now it's mine." She cocked her head to one side, studying him as if she was seeing him for the first time. "You made me believe it was all my fault! You spent years twisting my mind, getting me ready, and then - " a sob escaped her and her face contorted in rage and horror. Refusing to break down, she shook her head and went on. " - and then you made me think that somehow, with my obviously sexy, wanton 6 year-old ways, I SEDUCED YOU into raping me." She was silent a moment, suddenly struggling for words. She stared at the floor. "…………God… and I believed you…" Her voice began to crack as she looked back at him and sarcastically mimicked his words from long ago. " 'Take off your clothes and show daddy how much you love him, angel.' " Furious, she suddenly pushed him, advancing again as he caught his balance on the bar behind him. "I believed you loved me because you were SCREWING ME –"

His face had gone from ash white to bright red. "Summer – That's ENOUGH!"

"SHUT UP! Did you know that after you got caught and went away for so long, I was convinced I was too ugly and not good enough to care about? And then you came back and would barely look at me, barely TALK to me, ME - your little angel - and I thought I was bad and no one would ever love me. I'd climb in your bed, remember that? - And you'd throw me out and lock me in my room, and I DIDN'T KNOW... WHAT... I'D DONE WRONG to make you not love me anymore."

Seth felt sick, and simultaneously tried to keep tears at bay and his breakfast in his stomach. At first he'd thought his girlfriend would just talk her dad into leaving, but he'd messed that up by losing his cool, trying to punch the guy, and running his mouth; he'd figured she would just explain that they were serious about each other, and – and his brain was short-circuited - hell, he wasn't sure what he'd thought would happen! Everything had gone bad so quickly. The last thing he'd expected, though, was for her to confront him about the sexual abuse right now. Had he started this with his thoughtless stupid mouth? His brain felt fried and was suddenly full of mental pictures of this disgusting creature calling himself a father forcing himself on a tiny wide-eyed Summer. He swallowed hard and ran a hand quickly across his eyes. His concern for the girl he loved was increasing by the second, but she didn't look like she wanted to cry anymore, oh no. She looked ready to kill.

"I – I – I - didn't know – really, Summer – "

She interrupted her dad again. "Hey, guess what? I didn't know what was going on either, because I was JUST A BABY WHEN YOU STARTED DOING IT TO ME! You BRAINWASHED ME and I was just a little SEX TOY for you. I was never a daughter; I was a TOY! And you know what's totally sick? All this time I just wanted to be loved by you. Still. A pervert like you! That's all I've ever wanted."

Wrongly sensing a chance to make things right, her dad carelessly said the first thing to come to mind. "I do! I do love you! You're my only child. I love you - I always have!"

Summer jerked as if he'd slapped her. Her entire body shaking, she turned her head and backed away from him, not looking at him until she regained control. "Don't make me PUKE! You don't know the meaning of the word. It's been, like, never since we had a real conversation; you haven't been interested in anything I've done since you stopped molesting me! Not ONCE have you asked me how I feel after getting hit by a freaking CAR! You never called, you never came, and you were only in LA!! You're more worried about the stupid Corvette than me!!!! Did you know that my best friend is brain dead now? Yeah, she was in the Corvette when that happened. Now THAT? THAT'S a shame. Not that the CLASSIC FUCKING CAR IS TOTALED!" Her voice kept rising, and she stopped to take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know – "

"We left messages for you! Your attorney and Seth's dad left messages for you! It was all over the news – Seth's brother was hurt too! HOW could you NOT KNOW?… YOU!!! KNEW!!! ……But - Oh, that's right, YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME AND YOU NEVER HAVE! I wanted a dad, but all you are is a SICK-ASSED FREAK! THAT is what became clear to me today."

Her father began to talk quickly. "That's not true! I knew what I was doing was wrong, but – but I couldn't stop myself! When the nanny caught us, I was ashamed of what I'd done – I thought you'd be better off if I wasn't around. I left for – for YOU. Because I DID care about you – I've never done it again, I've been– I thought you'd forgotten - "

Summer threw her head back, raisingclenched fists and screamed. "NO, NO, NO, NO!!! You've had at least 8 YEARS TO TELL ME THAT!!!! IT'S WAY TOO LATE NOW!!!" She breathed in, a long, deep lungful of air. Then another one. "Tell it to your attorney."

"Wh-what? I don't think –"

"Seth's dad? He's an attorney. And his mom? Is Caleb Nichols' daughter. I'm sure Seth's dad could help me if I want to bring charges against you, and ohhhh, the publicity would be so good for business. And if Mr. Nicol decides he doesn't like you? A few well-placed phone calls could - "

"But Summer, please, you don't want –"

"Oh, yes I do. I'm just not sure yet when the best time would be. All that courtroom drama might be a hassle……Hmm. I'll have to think about it. Oh hey, I know! Maybe you should live for a while at MY mercy, always wondering when I'm gonna drop this little bomb on you. God knows I've spent my whole life in a form of hell because of YOU. Payback's a bitch, Daddy."

Mr. Roberts cleared his throat and tried his best corporate owner's negotiating voice. "I'm sure we can work this out without getting – your friends - involved, Summer.Can't we? If I'm arrested the business could fail – I may not be able to afford your credit cards, or buy new cars, or – or - "

Seth relished the man's obvious panic showing clearly through his smooth speech.

"Oh yeah! I almost forgot. New cars! What kind of car did you bring me?"

"What?" Mr. Roberts loosened his tie, starting to sweat. "A BMW. They'll be delivering it this afternoon. It's, uh, very nice."

Summer was quiet, lost in thought. She finally looked back at her dad. "No."

"No? What do you mean, No?"

"I don't want a BMW."

"I don't think –"

"I want a Porsche. A – what's it called, Seth?" She called over her shoulder.

Seth was trying hard to keep up with the subject change. "Uh. Car? Oh. Boxster."

"Yeah, that's what I want. It matches my personality."

Her father looked pained. "Summer, the BMW is already paid for. I can't just –"

"Sure you can. Fix it. I want my Boxster. Oh, and a Hummer, too! I need something that all of our friends will fit in, so we can go places all in one vehicle."

Mr. Roberts shook his head. "I'll get you the Porsche, but you don't need two cars - "

Summer put her hand on her hip. "Oh, I SO totally do. And I really don't think you're in any position to suddenly start deciding what I need. Father." She spit the word out. "Seth can drive one of them when he needs it, so his Mom can have her Range Rover back. It's perfect!" She turned to Seth, beaming, then back to her dad. "You need to find out if there's a PlayStation 4 yet, too. If there is, get me one. No, make it two. We need one at both houses."

Exasperated, her father's face held traces of anger. "A PlayStation? Both houses?? No, Summer. You get a Porsche. That's it. Be happy it's not a BMW."

Summer shook her head, walking over to Seth. "Oh gosh. I so hoped I wouldn't have to do this. Can I use your cell phone? Is your Dad at work, you think?"

Seth blankly handed her the phone off the bedside table. "Uh huh."

Mr. Roberts was instantly shaken, turning white again. "Wait!! I don't think we need to call Seth's dad. A HumVee could be useful. For you and your friends. Of course."

"Oh, that's good, Daddy! I figure if my old nanny got 2 mansions and a truck-load of money from you, you can afford two cars for your beloved only daughter. Right?" She laid the sarcasm on thickly.

He cleared his throat, inching his way toward the door. "Right. I've got to go - make some calls. About the BMW and uh, the others. I'll – uh, … Just don't – don't call anyone. No phone calls, ok?"

"Uh huh! You make those calls, Daddy. Bye!" She called brightly after him. After watching the door close, she covered her eyes with her hands. After a moment she turned to Seth, staring blankly. "That was real?" She whispered.

He nodded slowly, still in shock. "You – uh – he ……yeah. Are you ok?"

She shook her head, then held up her hands, watching them shake.

"I have no idea what to say. I'm not sure I'm ok. Of course I don't matter right now. It's…you…" Seth felt helpless, his emotions in disarray, and his need to help her fenced in by graphic images of what her father had done. He was frozen to the spot, unable to move toward her.

Summer turned her back on him and faced the huge window, stretching down a hand to carefully lower herself to the ground, sitting with knees pulled tightly to her chest.

Holding his stomach and staring out at the ocean, Seth realized that the chaos in his head was familiar. This disjointed, surreal place he was in felt very similar to that period of time immediately after the car had hit Summer. Making a conscious effort to think clearly did no good, and he vaguely wished he'd shut the door to the bathroom, shaved with the water running and been oblivious to the scene that had just played out in front of him. He'd been sick for her, obviously, after first hearing Summer's horror story, but able to brush away thoughts of a faceless man in a distant past fairly easily, in order to concentrate on the wounded girl. Everything had changed. The man had a face now, and witnessing Summer sledgehammer through the huge barricade of denial and unspoken outrage that had grown between them over the years had seared images permanently into his brain . Full of guilt for wishing he hadn't been there, guilt for leaving her small hunched figure in the middle of the room, and guilt for not being able to handle it all, he ran for the bathroom.


	32. Lies32

Lies 32

He heaved until there was nothing left in his stomach, and then continued to dry heave. Resting his cheek on the cool toilet rim, he slowly realized it had stopped, meaning the alien was completely expelled from his body. He was lucky it had decided to break free in a way other than popping through ripped abdominal flesh and ribs like all the others, leaving him alive and free to flush. He and Ripley were the chosen ones. Sweaty, with hands shaking and his face the color of chalk, he pushed up and away from the toilet and sat back on his heels, pausing to make sure the change in altitude wouldn't cause dizziness. It was too quiet and the air felt heavy around him. Now what was he supposed to do? Visions of the huge bed in the other room taunted him, with a lovely scene of falling back onto soft pillows and letting the air conditioning do it's happy thing. Realizing the distance and amount of movement involved to get there, he took a good look at the tile floor he was currently kneeling on and decided he was already home, sweet home. He turned and began to stretch out, abruptly sitting up and shrieking when a pale Summer, sitting with her back against the opposite wall, spoke.

"Are you ok?" Grimacing wryly at his yell, she continued. "Other than the terrified part?" She pushed a dry towel with a wet cloth folded on top toward him with perfectly done toes, nails the color of wine.

Seth lay down on his side, pulling his knees up into the fetal position. "Geez! Lurk much?! I had no idea you were there!" He grabbed the wet cloth and shakily wiped his face. "Thanks."

She nodded, still speaking in a subdued voice. "Just you and Ripley in here, huh."

"No, she wasn't here." He sighed, closing his eyes. "We were the only ones that…never mind. I could have sworn I was giving birth for a minute there, except for, you know, the wrong orifice."

"I'm sorry," she replied quietly.

He knew she was referring to more than his stomach pain, but tried to keep things light. "It's not your fault I can't hold my breakfast. I have a very sensitive digestive system; it's the combinations that get me. You know, French toast AND eggs. You should see what happens with waffles and bacon – it's just not pretty at all."

It was quiet for a while, and he looked up to see her holding her side, eyes closed. His guilt overwhelmed him. "It's my fault, isn't it? I should have kept my mouth shut; I shouldn't have called him a pervert. I started the whole thing, and now you're all……messed up again." Taking her silence for agreement, he rolled onto his back, covering his eyes with an arm. "God, I suck. I'm really sorry."

It was quiet for another minute.

"It is because of you." Her voice low, she talked over his groan of guilt. "Ever since kindergarten you've been messed with by other kids - shoved, beat up, everything. "

"Don't forget the pee in the shoes."

"I've never seen you defend yourself."

"So my being a big old dorky wuss has something to do with this?" He decided the conversation might go better if he'd stop talking. He could tell he was annoying her, but the Cohen mouth was wired to run during uneasy dialogues.

"Yes. You never stand up for yourself, never resort to violence but all of a sudden there you were going all Chino on my father - defending me. The fog lifted right then."

"There was fog? Sorry. I'm in the deep end of not knowing how to participate in the conversation. You know, when stupid stuff comes out of my mouth."

"Just listen. I know what you're about, Seth, what kind of a good person you are, but you'll never be a brawler. You were totally about to try to kick his ass just because you care about me, and suddenly it was so obvious that he's never going to be the dad that I wanted, like, it was as clear as this diamond on my finger, finally, exactly what he is and what he'll never be. And when the chance of ever having a dad that cares about me went away, when that hope died? I was so mad that I'd let him have that……HOLD on me all this time, and I wasn't about to let him have control over any more of my life, so, so, and - and all this stuff started boiling up in me and I couldn't keep my mouth shut for one more second about any of it." She sighed heavily.

Seth felt so bad he couldn't even look at her. His arm stayed over his eyes. "I'm so sorry for all of this, Summer. I just couldn't – "

"Cohen, shut up. I'm saying that because I have you I was finally able to let it out………I'm not sorry. I'm way disturbed about it, but – not sorry." Her voice lowered, faltering. "I'm sure it was less than a thrill for you, though."

"I'll uh, yeah. I'll live." He moved his arm and stared at the ceiling. "You're ok, really?"

"Fine." She winced while standing up.

Seth hauled himself off the floor. "Wait a minute, I'll help you. Just one minute." He went to the sink and washed his face again, then quickly brushed his teeth.

"I feel sorta human now." Turning back, he found she'd already left the room.

Pulling on a pair of jeans by the time he caught up, she glanced at him as he entered the room. She was nude from the waist up, and he unconsciously averted his eyes. She turned her back and slowly pulled on a top. "You should call home, there's about 50 missed calls on your phone."

"How did - ? Oh. I turned it off last night." He dialed as he made a trip into the kitchen for a glass of water. "Hey…… I turned it off so we could get some sleep……I'm not sure." He lowered his voice and whispered into the phone. "Look, her dad was just here……well, she, like, let him have it……yes, about that!………I don't really know how she is, other than pale.……………well, what do YOU think? It was bad, like – I can't think of a word that might define the kind of "bad" that it was… Me? I'm - yeah; she wouldn't let me hit him……That's not funny, Father.….. We'll be over in time to sleep in our separate guarded cells tonight, ok?…... Later." He padded quietly back to the main room.

Summer was at the glass wall, looking out at the peaceful scene that had greeted her when she woke up. "It started out so good," she murmured. "A good day."

"What?"

She turned, realizing his presence. "Nothing."

"I – uh…" Seth's mouth was open, but no words were coming. The air was still charged with shadows of the confrontation and the dark subject matter.

As they both relived the scene with her father, they stared past each other in awkward silence. When it stretched into unbearable, Summer briefly closed her eyes, then went to the nightstand and grabbed a pencil and paper out of the drawer. "What's your Dad's number?" Her tone was curt.

She jotted it down as he spoke, then cut him off before he could ask why. "You can go home, Cohen. I need to talk over some things with your dad, and I need some time alone." She grabbed one of his shirts from his bag and threw it at him.

He barely snagged it out of the air, caught completely off guard. "Summer – what the – ?"

"You're going home. Get your keys; hit the road." She was firm.

"But – you're supposed to come over; I'll just run up and grab you some clo –"

"No, you're not. Take a break from the drama." She walked over to him and began pushing him toward the door. "Out. Out. Out. Go. Go. Go."

"Stop, stop, STOP!" Seth disentangled himself and grabbed her by the shoulders. "What is going on with you?!"

She shrugged out of his grasp, backing away. "I told you, I need some time alone."

Seth looked at her as if she was nuts. "But you shouldn't be by yourself – your dad was- "

Summer squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her fists. "I can't. Do this. With you right now."

Seth was completely bewildered. "Do what?!!"

She finally broke, emotion cracking her voice. "Seth, it made you PUKE! You can't even LOOK at me and my head is spinning and I don't want to think about what it means because I'm trying to deal with my father's crap and I CAN'T. DO. THIS right now!!……" She took a breath, getting control, and her voice softened. "Please, Cohen, just go. I'm begging you."

Seth was disturbed by her insinuation and trying to think of something profound to say that would make it better for her and ease the tension between the two of them. Deciding to keep his mouth shut instead of letting fly with something that potentially could worsen the situation, he backed away a step then walked to the door. He looked back before leaving, but she'd disappeared.

* * *

Seth barreled through the kitchen and into the living room. "Dude, you're home. Where's dad?" He passed swiftly through the living room and down the hall to his dad's study. 

Ryan waited patiently, and when Seth breezed back into the room he raised a hand. "Hey, man. Yeah, I'm doin' good, thanks for asking, and he's at work, which is where he normally is this time of day."

Seth nodded. "Work. Yes. I knew that." He grabbed the phone and dialed. "Dad? Call me as soon as you get this. AS SOON AS you get this." He dialed another number. "Hey Sylvia. Is my Dad there? No, no message, thanks. Bye."

Flopping into a recliner, he lowered the back and stared at the ceiling. "He's not at work! Damn it!"

"What's going on? I thought Summer was coming with you?" Ryan glanced out the window to the driveway.

"Oh my god, Ryan. I thought she was too! I don't know what to do; I need to talk to dad!"

"Did you have a fight? Talk to me, man, obviously something big's up." Ryan was concerned by his friend's state of mind.

"Oh, there was a fight all right, a HUGE one, but not between Summer and I, but she made me leave and she's – " He clapped a hand over his mouth. " Dude, I can't talk to you about this."

"Seth, you tell me everything, whether I want to hear it or not."

"True. But this isn't about me, except for it is kinda, and I hated what she was saying, but it's true! Unwaveringly true; I didn't mean to throw up, but I kept seeing THAT and I couldn't help look away." He popped the lever and sat up in the chair, dropping his head into his hands, then sliding them down his cheeks. He turned his head and stared at Ryan, lying on the couch. "I totally bailed on her. I failed her, Ryan, and made everything even worse for her."

"That made absolutely no sense. But seriously, Seth, you've been there for her through this whole thing. Sandy and Kirsten have both talked about how – " he made finger quotes in the air – " 'mature' you've been, handling it all."

He snorted. "I so did not handle this." Picking up the phone, he dialed his father's cell again. "Hellooo?!! CALL me." He punched the button and set the phone down, immediately picking it back up. "She didn't say I couldn't call her when she threw me out." He began dialing again.

Ryan got up and grabbed the phone out of Seth's hand. "Look. I don't know what's going on, but I know enough to save you from a stupid move. If she threw you out, chances are good that she isn't up for talking on the phone. What did she say – "

"Ryan, I need that phone, buddy."

"Seth. Focus. What did she say when she made you leave? What was her reason?" Ryan walked back to the couch and got comfortable.

"She couldn't do it then. She was gonna talk to dad. She needed alone time." He glanced at his watch. "She's had some now, so maybe – "

"No. When a girl tells you they want to be alone, calling them before they call you just says you don't respect their wishes. It says you're more interested in what you want than what they want."

Seth glared at him. "Thanks, Dr. Phil." He leaned back in the chair again. "I hate it when you're right."

Ryan gave him a small smile.

"I'm sorry, man. Really. How are you? You look kinda peaked still. You doin' ok?"

"I am stuffed full of pills and about to leak water from my ears, but at least I'm home. I feel better. Thanks." Ryan slid the phone under the cushion just in case Seth lost his mind again.

"Yeah, I'm an ass for not asking before. I was just worried – "

"About Summer." Ryan finished for him. "Its cool. Sounds pretty serious."

"You have no idea. Horrendous, even." Seth stared at the ceiling while Ryan went back to watching tv. He watched the clock on the wall tick away 5 minutes then blurted it out. "Summer was abused when she was little." He took a deep breath. "She told mom and dad knows and you're family and I know you'll never say anything to her or anybody else about it."

Ryan's expression turned sad. "I won't. That's tough, man."

"Yeah, well, she's never confronted the person in all this time and today she did while I was there. It was – all the things they said – it was so awful, Ryan, I cannot begin to tell you. Then when it was over, she like, crumpled into a little ball on the floor and what did I do instead of going to see how she was? Here's what I did. Listen to this. 'Mr. Mature' ran for the bathroom to throw up! And every time I looked at her I – it was like a movie playing of what happened to her and it was so utterly terrible that I stopped looking at her. I couldn't. So now she thinks she makes me sick and she didn't want to deal with that AND the other nightmare, so she made me leave." He filled his lungs with air and let it out again. "How do I fix this? How did this happen?"

Ryan let out a low whistle. "Seth. You need to do what she says. Give her some time to get a grip on things."

"But I need to know if she's ok! She's all banged up from the car already and she shouldn't be alone. I don't want her to think she makes me sick, and I need to talk to her!"

"Listen to yourself, man. It's not about you, you, you. She's the one that this happened to; try to focus on what she wants. If she needs you, she'll let you know."

Seth let that sink in for a moment. "You're right. Again. So that means that I can't call her or see her until she wants me to. I have to just sit and worry and wonder and stare at the phone until it rings. Fabulous. Excellent, even."

"Love hurts." Ryan commiserated.

Seth made a face. "Yeah, they need to explain that in great detail about sixth grade. It would make some people think twice about dating."

"If you'd known about all this before, would you have still wanted to be with Summer?" Ryan stretched his legs out, and pulled the phone from under the cushion.

Seth didn't even have to think about it. "God, yes. She's undeniable. And none of this is her fault, anyway."

"Then do whatever you have to do to keep her, man. Even if it sucks and you hate it."

Seth nodded slowly. "You're very wise. How did you get to be so – oh never mind, I know. Chino aged you into a 26-year-old man living in a 17-year-old's body."

Ryan nodded. "That's me. You up for some Playstation? Take your mind off things?"

"I suppose. I can stare at the phone and kick your ass at the same time." He sighed deeply. "It's going to be a long afternoon."

The phone rang an hour later, and Seth flew across the room to answer it. "Summer?!…… Oh. Dad. Hey……She called you? What'd she say? Is she all right?……Client confidentiality my ASS – She's my girlfriend and I already know why she called you!!! ……Fine. Whatever. She wasn't all freaked out and crying?……Good. Did – did she give you a message or anything for me?……Nothing at all?" His look of hope died………"Yeah, yeah, Dr. Phil Atwood already gave me the sermon. You know how patience is one of my more common characteristics………I know. It's just – you didn't see her – I'm afraid she's gonna like, self-destruct or something…… Ok. Thanks. Later." He dropped the phone and turned to Ryan.

"Nothing? No message?"

Seth shook his head and went to the window, staring out. He was uncharacteristically quiet for about 10 minutes.

Ryan finally couldn't stand it any longer. "Seth, talk. I know you want to."

He continued staring outside. "I just keep thinking – Dude, I don't even want to say it out loud…"

"Say it."

"What if it doesn't go away? What if – if I always see the awful things happening to her whenever I look at her? Is that stuck permanently in my head? This is exactly why she never wanted me to know, because she was afraid I'd see her differently! It wasn't so – HUGE – before, I just pushed it out of my head and concentrated on her, but after I saw him, and the things he said to her and what she said to him - I don't mean to, but I do!"

"Him?"

Seth turned to Ryan. "Ryan, my God, he is such a sleazeball - I wanted to pound his face in until he was unrecognizable and then keep pounding for the fun of it."

Ryan raised his eyebrows in question.

Seth raised his hands, still confused about it himself. "Yes, me, Seth Cohen, neighborhood punching bag extraordinaire. I stole one of your moves, by the way."

"You HIT him?"

"No, she wouldn't let me, but I had him scared. Seriously."

"Seth, I believe you. So, I'm assuming the abuse… was, uh, sexual?"

He nodded once.

Ryan shook his head. "Guys like that, I swear…" His hands unconsciously clenched into fists. "I don't know, man. It would be hard not to…think about that, I guess, when you look at her, especially since you were there for the meltdown. That doesn't mean it'll always be like that. Just give her some time and give yourself a break. Your soft life in the O.C. hasn't exactly prepared you for something like this."

Seth just shook his head, miserable. "If you'd seen her face when she told me to leave; it was like I'd just hit her or something…"

"She'll be ok, man. She's tough, and she knows you care about her."

"I hope so." He started for the stairs. "You need anything?"

Ryan shook his head. "I'm good."

"I'm gonna go lay down. Maybe staring at the ceiling and gnashing my teeth will help." He turned. "Thanks, man."

Ryan raised a hand and smiled sadly. "Get some rest. Anna's coming over after school to bring us homework."

Seth rolled his eyes. "Be SURE to wake me up for that. Homework is JUST what I want to do. AbsoLUTEly." He waved and plodded up the stairs.

"SETH COHEN! DOWNSTAIRS! NOW!!"

His mother's voice woke him from a nightmare, and for that he was grateful. The tone she was expressing herself with automatically made him cringe; he'd heard it before, and good things had never come to pass during those times. He sat up, disoriented, and the events of the day crushed in on him. "What now?" he muttered. "What else could possibly happen now?"

"SETH! NOW!"

"Geez, I'm coming…ON MY WAY, MOM!" He slowly got up, surprised that he'd actually fallen asleep with all the chaos in his head. Checking the window, he realized it was dark out. He'd been asleep for quite a while.

Stumbling down the stairs, he discovered the front door hanging open and went outside. "What?! Good Lord, you sounded like the house was on f –"

His father and mother were standing with arms crossed, expressionless, staring down the driveway. Ryan was beside them, taken aback in frank admiration and what could only be called awe. Seth turned to look, and started in shock. A new black Hummer 2 was parked next to the Range Rover, effectively dwarfing it. Tinted windows gave it a mean effect, and Seth was instantly in love. "Dude! How awesome is that! I mean, that is a totally kick-ass ride……" He trailed off, noticing that his parents attention, and complete lack of amusement were now directed at him. "What?… What!?…Oohh, you think I - ?…" He shook his head quickly. "I did not – I mean, I don't know anything about it. Nothing. Not me. I'm innocent."

His mother grimly handed him a bulky envelope with his name on it.

"Oh…… I – I – still don't – uh…" Grogginess from sleep was quickly wearing off. Surely she didn't – no way she did this.

"Open it, Seth." His dad sounded a little less irate than his mom, but not by much.

Seth tore the flap open and held the envelope upside down. A set of keys fell out into his hand with a gold key ring attached that was shaped like a military dog tag. Words were stamped into it, and he had to hold it up to the porch light to make them out.

"What's it say? What is it, man?" Ryan was dying of curiousity.

"It says……oh my God, mom, dad, I didn't do this – this wasn't my idea I swear."

"Read it." The tone left no room for discussion.

"All right! It says 'Cohen', then 'Covert Ops Vehicle'. But I didn't – this is Summer's! A Hummer and a Porsche, it was just a joke, I swear! I didn't think she'd really do it, and I NEVER thought that it would be – here – in the, uh, driveway – all gi-normous and – and badass. I can't believe she did this; WHY did she do this?!!"

"So Summer bought you a Hummer? Hey, that rhymes." Sandy was less upset about it with the knowledge that Seth hadn't gotten it for himself, maybe even a little impressed. Kirsten jabbed him in the ribs with an elbow. "Oh, yeah. It's way too expensive a gift, son, to get … from…a girlfriend. You can't possibly –"

"She didn't get it for me! We were kidding around about what she should replace the Corvette with, and I told her to ask for a Porsche and a Hummer, cuz she kind of has a – like a – vehicle fairy, but it was a joke! Then she actually DID ask for both, but I never – I didn't think she'd – Wow…" Seth was amazed. "I guess this means she doesn't hate me, right, Ryan? It means SOMETHING, right? It has to mean something a little on the positive side, don't you think?"

Ryan nodded slowly. "Yes, Seth, a new Hummer? Definitely DOESN'T mean she hates you."

"Right. That's what I thought. Maybe there's something else in here." He shook the envelope and a small slip of paper floated to the ground. Dropping the keys, he lunged for it, ending up in a heap on the asphalt. He got up and held it to the light, reading it silently. "That's it?" He sighed heavily. "She wants me to take care of it for her. So you won't have to take us to school and you can have your truck back, mom." He shook his head, upset. "I was hoping it would tell me to call her. Or something. Anything in the way of contact."

"That's very sweet of her, but what I want to know is why Summer would hate you? I missed something here. What's going on, Seth?" Kirsten was confused, and Sandy echoed the question.

"It's uh – complicated." He looked to Ryan for help.

Ryan held up his hands. "Maybe they can give you some advice, man. Tell them."

Seth shrugged. "You guys got an hour or three?"

"Come on, son." Sandy put a hand on Seth's shoulder, and they all filed into the house.


	33. Lies33

Lies – 33

She ran through the bathroom as soon as Seth turned to leave, not wanting him to see the panic she couldn't hide an instant longer. Summer gulped in deep breaths of fresh air, trying to chase away the sensation of choking that was threatening to overpower her. She stared down at her fingers, white-knuckled and gripping the back of a pool chair as if it was her only connection to reality. Gradually, her breathing slowed and she became aware of a light breeze fanning her hot face and blowing strands of dark hair around her elbows. The roaring in her ears faded into the reassuring echo of the Pacific Ocean making it's presence perpetually known down below. Feeling stronger, she straightened, taking her weight off of the chair back she'd been leaning on. The incredible view from the pool area struck her as if she'd never seen it before - colors vivid and the simple beauty of trees, cliffs, beach and ocean taking her breath away. Unable to tear her eyes from it, she felt for the chair in front of her, dragging it to the edge of the patio and sitting, mesmerized.

Snippets of raised voices, remnants of ugly accusations, flashes of hazel eyes staring at her with a mix of pity and revulsion – all tried to form as full memory and thoughts, but she unconsciously shoved them out, letting only the smooth symphony of sea, air and birdsong wash over her.

* * *

"Mr. Cohen – Sandy? Hi, it's Summer. Um, are you busy right now? I kind of need to talk to you." She held up her hand, glad to see it holding steady. Her "time out" in the California sunshine had left her fairly composed, the frazzled panic of earlier diminished into a small size she could handle easily now. 

"Well hello, Summer! I've always got time to talk to you. What's up? How are you today?" Sandy had been worried about her since he'd talked to Seth earlier.

"I'm ok, well, that might be a – I don't know. This is a legal problem, or question………………OhmyGod. I don't know how to do this……" Telling Seth had been one thing, but talking to his dad about her father having sex with her? Her face flushed dark red in embarrassment. She wondered if Kirsten had told him about it already.

"Take your time, kid. Hey, I'm in your area; why don't you meet me for a late lunch? I'll even buy. I've got a big corporate job now, you know; I can afford these things."

Summer smiled in spite of herself; Sandy was so good at putting people at ease. "I'm not, um, really hungry, but thanks anyway."

"Oh, come on. I'll bet you haven't had anything but hospital food and bad take-out all week."

"Pretty much, but really, I don't feel like eating right now. Plus, no makeup, hair's a mess – appearing in public is not an option."

"All right. I give. I've been married long enough to know better than to argue when hair and makeup are involved. So you're feeling better?" He'd just chat until she felt ready to talk about her legal thing.

"Oh, I slept so well last night, I really was a lot better this morning."

"Good to hear."

"So. Sandy. Did Kirsten say anything to you about me? Maybe?"

"Besides the fact that she thinks you're the only girl that could ever handle the kid? She says a lot, Summer, all good."

A happy shiver ran through Summer. It was nice to hear positive things from parents, even if they weren't hers. "Oh, that's so sweet! But I meant, well, it's like this." She took a deep breath. "When I was younger, I – I was…………abused."

It came out finally, the word just a whisper. She'd been fine earlier, sure that she could make this call, but suddenly her vision was blurring.

"I'm so sorry." From his days as a public defender, Sandy knew the amount of courage it had taken for her to admit that truth. Victims always felt ashamed and embarrassed, like it was their fault somehow, a lot of times to the point of never getting help.

The doorbell rang, and Summer was glad to have an excuse to postpone the rest of her story for a minute or two. "Um, I'm sorry, can you hang on? Someone's at the door."

"Sure thing. Go ahead, I'll wait."

She made her way through the huge house to the front door, dabbing furiously at her eyes the entire way. She shouldn't be crying; she was taking control of her life finally instead of letting her life control her. What did she have to cry about? "Toughen up, Roberts." She muttered to herself. Reaching the door finally, she opened it.

Sandy stood there, head tilted to the side, a sad smile on his face. " I thought maybe you could use a shoulder."

She stood staring at him, tears welling up with a huge lump in her throat. This big-hearted man had invited her to live with his family – to be a member of it, and now he was standing in her doorway wearing a strangely familiar expression of genuine concern. Warm, expressive eyes just like Seth's. She bit her lip, trying not to let go.

He didn't move, afraid of frightening her. "I kind of know. Your dad?"

She nodded, putting her hand over her mouth, eyes glistening.

"Aw, come here." He held his arms open, and she just stood there, unsure. "It's all right. I'd never hurt you; you know that."

She felt another wall erected long ago crumble inside, and Summer went to him blindly, breaking down inside his hug. For the first time in her life, someone resembling a father was there for her when she needed him, in the worst of situations. He wasn't clothed in guilt and surrounded by ugly shadows of the past, and he didn't want one damned thing from her.

He just cared.

* * *

After a pitcher of lemonade and a full discussion of her legal options and the consequences they might bring, Sandy stood up, ready to leave. "Think it over, take as much time as you need, and let me know what you decide. You can call me anytime if you have any questions, but you already knew that. Right?" 

She nodded shyly.

"Ok. Off with the lawyer hat. You want to head home with me now?" He glanced at his watch. "I'm done for the day, and if we hurry we can get some steaks on the grill before Kirsten calls for Chinese take-out. She's addicted to the stuff!"

Summer laughed. "It's low fat, high protein, with good carbs, that's why!"

"Is THAT it?! See, I never would have guessed it. Women. So do you need to pack anything?"

"Actually, I kind of wanted to stay here a while. I need some time….to……get things right in my head. Some time alone."

Sandy nodded. "I can understand that. But we'll leave you alone, if you want to come over. It might be good to have people close by, you know."

"Thank you, I really do appreciate the offer, but I think it would be better…if I were here." She gave him a half smile.

"Whatever you think is best, Summer. If you change your mind, you know where we are. And if you want to talk, you've got the number. Numbers. What do we have, about 8 phones now? Work, home, a cell in each car, everybody has their own cell……" He counted off on his fingers. "I should own my own wireless company by now. But I'll call later to check on you. Whether you like it or not."

She smiled shyly once again, pleased. "That would be nice. And I promise I'll call if I need anything." She stood and walked him to the door. "Thank you for, uh, coming over, too."

He hugged her. "You're one of the strongest people I know, Summer. I'm proud of you for setting things straight. A whole lot of kids like you never do, or the people they tell don't believe them, and they suffer more for it."

She looked at the floor. "Thanks. I didn't, like, plan to do anything though. I shouldn't get much credit."

"You had the strength when the time came, though, and you did it; that's what counts." He hugged her quickly again and went out to his car, waving goodbye.

"I had Seth," she whispered sadly to no one.

* * *

Summer had taken care of the "father" mess with Sandy, and in the process realized she felt better. While the actual confrontation with her dad had been hideous and sent her into a tailspin, while discussing options with Sandy she'd felt a sense of control creep in that had never been there before. Her mind had always been full of a lifetime of indecision, and her heart to the brim with emotions that she questioned regarding dear old "dad". The questions were answered, the decisions being made, and she felt unencumbered in a way she never had before. It was almost frightening. 

Walking back into the guest suite, she shut the door carefully behind her and began to clean, concentrating completely on the chores. The tray and plates with half eaten cheese and crackers went to the kitchen. Still damp towels were thrown into the laundry chute in the bathroom, followed by Seth's pajama bottoms and the t-shirt she'd worn last night. She cleaned the mirror and the sink where teeth had been brushed, tossing a washcloth and another towel down the chute. Returning to the bedroom area, she picked up already worn clothes off the floor, putting his in a plastic container, and throwing hers through the bathroom door. She folded pawed- through clothing back into his bag, added the worn articles, then started separating his shirts from her outfits in the shopping bags. The things she'd bought him went in the top of his duffel bag, and hers into the suitcase he'd packed for her. It seemed like such a long time ago that he'd brought her home from the hospital. She folded her shopping bags and threw them away in the kitchen, then went to the bar and capped the bottle her father had poured a shot from. She returned it to its place next to the vodka and ran a hand lovingly over her old friend. Vodka had gotten her through a lot of nights growing up in this house, but she felt no need for it now. She washed the shot glass and put it with the others behind the bar, feeling a sense of finality.

Staying busy kept her mind off things she'd rather not think about right now. She headed into the kitchen, washed dishes, wiped down counters, appliances and the table, then put everything away. Returning to the living area, she straightened cushions, dusted furniture, and organized the magazines Seth had gotten her in the hospital. She suddenly wondered where all the flowers she'd received had gone. They hadn't made it to the guest suite when they moved in.

She left the suite and made her way to the entry hall, then into the living room, finally finding the boxes with her flower arrangements in the sunroom. She tried to lift a box but pain shot through her arm and side. Irritated, yet determined, she ended up making six trips to the guest suite, carrying one vase at a time. After arranging them throughout the living room and bedroom, she looked around happily, pleased with her clean little "apartment" and the beauty the flowers brought to it. Everything wrong was now righted; everything in disarray newly organized. Her body was hurting from all the activity, though, so her next trip was into the kitchen for medication and water, and then she sank gratefully into her favorite chair.

The doorbell rang again, of course, since she was comfortable, so she got up and went to answer it, grumbling the whole way. Opening the door, she found no one, but looking out into the driveway she discovered a hulking black Hummer, and an adorable little car. Checking the mailbox, she grabbed an envelope with keys and paperwork in it, and ran to the little car, thrilled. She hadn't had any idea what a Porsche Boxster looked like when she demanded it, but now she silently thanked Seth for arguing with her about one. It was PERFECT, and how wonderful that he'd known it would suit her so well. He was eerily tuned into her like that. The ring, the car - even the clothes he'd picked out for her to wear. She unlocked the door and slid inside, settling into the leather driver's seat like it was her nest. She couldn't wait to take it out on the road, and made a mental note to go shopping for clothes and accessories that matched the metallic robin's egg blue color. She sighed happily and got out, walking to the Hummer and unlocking it. It was huge after the little two-seater she'd just been in, and she had a bit of trouble getting up to the seat and sliding in. The thing was awesome, for sure, and it would be great to take everyone places together, but she was smitten with the Porsche and didn't see herself driving it very often. This was a guy's wet dream of a truck, and she suddenly knew exactly what to do with it. She headed inside to make some phone calls, humming. When she finished, she was wornout from all the activity, so she lay down across the huge bed, hoping to fall asleep quickly. That didn't happen.

With nothing to occupy it, her mind went straight to Seth. There was another pain inside her now that had nothing to do with her cleaning frenzy; it was an ache that had been building since she'd seen the expression of disgust in his eyes during the blowout with her dad. The look that was clearly evident every time he laid eyes on her. She repulsed him, and he'd literally gotten sick, and while his words had been kind, he could not force himself to look at her again afterwards.

She let them come finally, all the emotions that had been trying to surface since this morning, feeling like she was ready. She could not have been more wrong.

Flooded with agony, it pounded over her like a tidal wave, threatening to drown her with choking betrayal, resentment, and profound loss that could never be replaced. Conflicting sentiments twisted through her – understanding and a sense of knowledge that he would ultimately find her revolting; who wouldn't after finding out that from toddler age up she'd been sexual amusement for her own father? – quickly u-turning into utter betrayal – he'd said he would always love her, hadn't he? And that it didn't matter to him what her father had done!! She disgusted him, and she couldn't bear seeing that expression on his face ever again. She'd trusted him with everything she had in her heart and soul, and in the end it had come back to haunt her. As usual.

Anger faded into terror at the idea of a future without him in it, and she found herself hyperventilating into a panic attack once again. She ran through the bathroom and out into the warm evening air, coming to a halt only when she got to the railing on the far end of the patio past the pool area. Going farther was not an option, as the patio jutted out over a seemingly bottomless ravine that ended in a steep cliff, then rolled down into beach on the other side of the house. The amazing scenery that had captivated her earlier suddenly seemed terrifying in the twilight – all it would take was one loose joint, one misstep and she could easily be falling through space, landing in a place of certain death that no one would ever think to look for. She swallowed hard and pushed herself away from the railing, backing slowly towards the relative safety of the pool area. After reaching it, she shook her head and forced out a short laugh, wondering where her sudden paranoia had come from. A voice behind her sent chills down her spine, and she whirled, finding her father watching her with a strange look on his face.

"Where's your white knight, angel? He's not here to save you now?"

Instantly on guard, she was determined not to show him her fear. She stood up straight and spoke harshly. "I'm NOT your angel, and I don't need anyone to save me. I can take care of myself." He watched her thoughtfully, and then she saw him looking from the far railing back to her, as if judging the distance.

"He did look a little green, didn't he, at the thought of screwing someone who's own daddy had been there first, huh? He left you, didn't he? Couldn't handle knowing you'd always love your daddy more, could he?" He took a step toward her, and she backed up one.

"You're insane if you think I love you, you sick freak." It suddenly dawned on her, horrifying but true. "You're jealous of him! That's why you said those horrible things about me! You were jealous because you knew he'd been with me and you couldn't!"

He took another step, sending her further back towards the patio. "It's been so hard to stay away from you, angel. I've always adored you. You were my only solace after that slut of a wife betrayed me." He gazed at her lovingly, then a hint of something evil flashed across his face.

"I'm your DAUGHTER – I wasn't supposed to fill in for mom after she left!! God! You ARE insane!" Summer didn't like the way he was looking at her now, kind of like she was dessert, and she tried to figure out how to get around him and into the house.

"Summer, this is so pleasant; we're getting to know each other again. We used to be soo close. Let's just stay out here and talk for awhile." He gestured to a chair while taking another step towards her.

"Hey! Let me think about it… NO. Seth's um, coming back any minute now. He went to, to get us something to eat. So I need to get inside and get plates out. For dinner." The vacant look he wore she'd seen all too recently. She'd known Marissa had snapped when it had appeared on her face in the driveway at the Cohen's house. Daddy's elevator was clearly not reaching the penthouse anymore. She suddenly darted to his left and tried to get around him, but he was too fast, catching her by the arm. She struck out at him, but he caught her other hand and laughing, pulled her close to him. Frantic, she kicked at him until suddenly her head seemed to explode and she saw stars, and felt herself falling back onto deck, dazed with the wind knocked out of her. He was on top of her in an instant, hitting her again, and she was too out of breath to struggle against him.

"Oh my, you've grown up into a feisty one, haven't you? You used to be so sweet when you were little. Daddy had to hit you so you'd be a good girl, but he's sorry. And I am so sorry that I have to make sure you won't be a problem anymore, just like I did your mama. I have to teach you women a lesson. You can't blackmail Daddy."

Cold fingers of dread ran through her as she realized why he'd been looking from her to the railing. She wondered if her mother had been down in the ravine all these years.

"There, there, little Summer, I've missed you so much. Let's take off your clothes and show Daddy how much you love him one last time."

She could feel his breath on her ear as he shifted off to her side and began unzipping her jeans. She tried everything to push his hands away – to push HIM away, but he was much stronger than her.

Finally catching her breath, she screamed and rolled away, getting to her knees and almost to her feet when he grabbed her by the ankle, sending her sprawling forward onto the hard tile. He clucked his tongue. "Baby girl, we're not playing games here." He rolled her over and hit her hard in the face again. "Now be a good girl." He calmly returned to tugging off her jeans. "Oh, look at my beautiful angel, all grown up. So pretty."

He sat up and unzipped his pants, and Summer, still reeling from the last blow, tried as hard as she could hard to concentrate, knowing she only had one chance before it was too late. She gagged as he kissed her, sure she would vomit. Forcing one leg in between hers, he pulled at her panties, and when he raised up to peel them off of her she swung her broken arm as hard as she could, her cast catching him squarely in the groin. He shrieked and collapsed, curling up into a ball, and she drug herself away from him, crawling slowly, painfully into the house.

* * *

The Cohen's were sitting around the kitchen table, discussing Seth's predicament over coffee when Sandy's cell phone rang. After seeing the caller ID, he answered it swiftly, frowning, and his expression darkened as he listened to the voice on the other end. He glanced quickly at Seth, told the caller he'd be right there, and hung up, heading for the door. 

"What? What is it? Why'd you look at me like that?" Seth was up and on Sandy's heels instantly. "Was it Summer?"

"Seth." Sandy stopped in the kitchen doorway, as Ryan and Kirsten gathered behind them, knowing something was seriously wrong. "Listen. Try to stay calm. That was the hospital; Summer's in the Emergency Room." He tried to make himself heard over Seth's panic. "SETH!"

Ryan grabbed his arm. "Chill, man." Seth closed his mouth, visibly struggling to compose himself, then nodded. "Yeah. Ok. Chilled. What happened?"

"I don't know the details." That was a lie, but it was better the kid not know for the moment. "The ER said I should come alone; she can't have visitors."

Seth's lips set in a grim line. "It was her dad, wasn't it? That son of a bitch – I knew I shouldn't have left her there alone. I'm gonna kill him. That's all there is to it - He's a dead man walking right now, soon to be a dead man …not walking. Not doing anything, because he's dead."

"Don't talk like that!" Kirsten was horrified. "You're not killing anyone! You don't even know what happened!!"

"Calm down, you two. I have to go. Ryan, make sure Seth doesn't – "

"Go ahead, Sandy. I'll handle it." Ryan grabbed a crutch. "Seth, you can't kill anybody. He's not worth the time you'll spend in prison, and I can't handle high school without you. Besides, she may have just fallen down again or something. Plus, if you try to leave, I'll have to kick your ass and I really don't want to do that." He turned to Kirsten and put an arm around her, awkwardly guiding her back to the table. "Sit down and relax. Seth's just upset and he doesn't really want to kill anyone."

"I do too!" Seth glared at Ryan. "You didn't see the sleazeball. I know he did something to her."

"Seth, I'll call you when I get there and let you know what's going on. Ok?" Sandy still hesitated in the door.

"Right. Get going; Summer needs you." Seth fingered the ring on his right hand. "And I thought this day couldn't get any worse," he muttered. He walked into the living room and flung himself into a chair, staring up at the ceiling. That lasted about two minutes, then he was up, pacing back and forth across the room.

* * *

He waited until his mom was deep in conversation with Jimmy on the phone, then quietly let himself out the front door, making sure he had his cell phone with him. Pulling the keys to the Hummer from his pocket, he rounded the back bumper to the driver's side and came face to face with Ryan, leaning against the door, arms crossed. 

"It's not gonna happen, man."

"Ryan, come on. How would you feel if it was your girlfriend?"

"You can't go to the hospital; you can't even see her. No visitors, remember?" Ryan was not moving.

"But I want to be there……Damn it! Fine! I have the extra key to her house; I can go there and get some stuff together for her. For when, you know, she needs it. Dude. I just need to feel like I'm helping her somehow. Come with me if you're afraid I'm on a sleazy asshole hunt. I swear I'm not." He crossed his fingers behind his back.

Ryan thought about that for a minute. "Ok. I'll go, too. Walk in here with me to tell your mom."

"Dude, you don't trust me? You think I'm gonna take off while you're in there?"

Ryan just stared at him, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, whatever. I would have." Seth unlocked the doors to the truck. "Shuffle your crippled ass over there and get in – I'LL go tell mom while you do that." He ran for the kitchen, assured his mom that she would not see him on the 11 o'clock news being led away in handcuffs for murder, then ran back to the driveway and got in the Hummer.

Ryan was looking around in awe. "We lived in an apartment smaller than this when I was little."

Seth started it up, then got on his knees in the seat, turning around to get the full effect. "Whoa, there's a DVD player!" He flipped it on and "Return of the King" started up in full surround sound. "Oh. My. God." He turned it off and he and Ryan both went for the stereo.

Ryan backed off. "Go ahead, man, it's yours. I just thought, if the DVD sounds that good…"

"Exactly what I was thinking, my man." Seth pushed the power button, and the vehicle was filled with music. He turned it up and both he and Ryan sat back in their seats, amazed. "It's like Maroon 5 is playing in the back seat!!"

Ryan squinted at him. "What?!!"

Seth turned the volume down a little. "It sounds like the band is playing live, here, inside the truck!!"

Ryan threw him a thumbs up. "Whatever you do, don't piss Summer off. We NEED the Hummer, Seth."

He laughed and turned off the stereo. "Why Ryan, it sounds like you've finally been seduced by the materialistic side of the O.C.."

Ryan looked offended. "I have not. It's a HUMMER, Seth."

"Riiiight. What do we got here? And here? And what's that?" Seth began pushing buttons. A moon roof slid silently back into the roof, the back seats smoothly folded down into one flat surface, and small lights on the walls glowed inside the vehicle. "Sweet!" There was a tiny hiss, then "Death Cab for Cutie" filled the truck. "What the – " He looked to Ryan, confused, who just shrugged and leaned forward, reading the stereo buttons in the dim glow.

"There's a CD player……somewhere."

Seth got up on his knees again, turning around to look. "It's in the side panel behind my seat." He pushed yet another button and the panel slid open. "It's got 10 CD's, and………Ben Folds?…you're not gonna believe this……" He closed the panel and turned back around, looking at Ryan with surprise. "………she put ALL my favorites in there. Emo. The jazz one she despises, even."

"Aw, now THAT'S love, man. You have the best girl ever." Ryan could see how touched Seth was. "You're not gonna cry, are you?"

"Shut up, Ryan." Seth put the Hummer in gear and backed out of the driveway, heading down the road. "I hope she's still my girl. I'd give this thing back in a heartbeat, if it meant we're still together for sure."

Ryan stared at him, stricken. "You wouldn't…… Listen Seth. A girl doesn't give a guy a HumVee to "take care of", fill the CD player with his favorite music, and make up a special key chain for him with his name on it if she isn't in love with him. That takes a lot of thought. It's going to work out. You'll see. Seriously, whether you keep the H2 or not."

"I hope so. I wish she'd just CALL me." He shook his head. "Ryan, I KNOW her dad has something to do with her getting hurt. I feel it. The man is such a - don't even get me started. It makes me crazy just thinking about what he might have done to her."

"Seth, she probably just fell. What would he …………Oh no……"

They turned the corner onto Summer's street and were met by the sight of four police cars, lights flashing, in front of her house. Yellow crime scene tape was strung around the side yard, and the beating blades of a helicopter could be heard nearby, echoing off the cliffs behind the house.

"Yeah, Ryan, OBviously she just fell." Seth was panicked again. He parked the truck and practically fell out the door, leaving it hanging open in his haste. Running up the sidewalk, he was quickly met by an officer. "What happened!? What did he do to her?!!"

"Hold up, son, this is an ongoing investigation – you can't go in there."

"I don't want to go in there – I want to know what he did to her!!"

The man looked at him curiously. "Are you family?"

Seth opened his mouth, but Ryan's voice came from behind him, beating him to the punch.

"Yes, sir, he is. The girl that lives here is his fiancé, and his father, Sandy Cohen, is her legal guardian. We know she's in the hospital."

Seth swung around to see Ryan leaning on one crutch, then turned back to the officer. "Yes. What he said. Please tell me how badly he hurt her. She's just recovering from a car wreck."

"Sandy's son, huh? I know Sandy from the PD's office. I suppose it's all right, since you already seem to know what happened." He checked his clipboard. "Miss Roberts was beaten and attacked by… Mr. Roberts." The cop shook his head sadly. "I never get used to these calls…She was taken by ambulance to – "

"Attacked?!" Seth's stomach turned over. "He – he – ra…ra…?" He couldn't say the word, as hard as he tried. He felt Ryan grab his arm, and was grateful for the support. For some reason his knees didn't want to hold him up anymore. He focused very hard on the police officer's face, waiting for his answer. After a hundred years, the man finally spoke, looking up from his stupid clipboard again.

"It says 'attempted rape'. Apparently Miss Roberts defended herself, injuring her assailant. He was transported by ambulance also."

Seth began breathing again, sagging against Ryan for a second. "Oh, thank God. Thank Jesus and Moses. That's my girl, kicking his ass." His face went hard, eyes like steel. "What hospital is he in? Is he the same place she is?"

Ryan tried to walk him away. "Seth, come on. Let's go, we know what happened now."

Seth pulled his arm away from Ryan angrily. "I want to know where he is."

The officer put a hand gently on Seth's arm. "Let the law handle it, son. Revenge only hurts you in the end. He's surrounded by armed guards anyway, and he's going to get a nice cage made just for animals like him. My best advice would be to let the anger go and take care of your girl. Help her through this."

Ryan chimed in. "He's right, Seth. Come on; let's go to the hospital. Even if she can't have visitors yet, you'll feel better." He looked curiously at the officer. "What's with the helicopter?" They could see floodlights pointing down into the ravine.

"That? I can't talk to you about. Sorry."

"It's ok. Thanks for your help. Come on, Seth. You ok to drive?"

"I can drive." He pulled out his cell and handed it to his friend. "Call mom, would you? She'll want to know."


	34. Lies34

Lies 34

Sandy parked the car and ran for the double sliding doors to the ER. Jimmy had always told him he was lucky to have a son instead of daughters, and right now he realized he was living out every father's worst nightmare when it came to their female offspring. The caller had been sparse with information, but the word "beaten" had furnished him with a grim warning of Summer's health, both mental and physical.

She'd been pretty upbeat by the time they finished their afternoon meeting, and he knew that finally allowing herself to feel outraged and take control of the abuse situation had set her free from years of oppression and manipulation by her father. While his first impression of her when they met long ago was typical "O.C. society princess", he'd known his son well enough to understand that there must be something more to her for Seth to have been interested in her his entire educated life. He'd heard their banter and hilarious arguments when they'd dated before, and he'd seen how well their personalities both meshed and collided with each other's. He'd found her shy, sweet, funny, and vulnerable, yet tough as nails today, and if his kid loved her, well then, she was family and he loved her, too. Just like Ryan. He was sure he was required to act like a rational, confident attorney and legal guardian when he got inside, but right now he felt like a shaky daddy, monumentally pissed off that someone had done this to his family's little girl, terrified to see the damage that the lowlife brute had inflicted on her, and worried about how he could help her.

He reached the doors and seconds later slid to a stop at the reception desk. "Summer Roberts? I'm her –"

The nurse was already out of her chair, having seen him enter the building. "I'll see if the doctor is still examining her, Mr. Cohen. I'm so sorry to hear about the young lady. Have a seat in the waiting area and I'll be right back." She vanished around a corner before he could say anything else.

He stuck his head in the waiting room, and after finding it blessedly empty, took a seat near the door. A minute later he was up and pacing, not able to sit still with so much anxiety. Seth had been so sure her father was involved, which was eerie considering he hadn't given him any details at all. The ER hadn't told Sandy who'd done it; they'd simply notified him that she was here and the condition she'd been found in, as he was her legal guardian. He had a nauseated feeling in his gut that Seth was right. The nurse finally came into the room.

"I'm sorry, but the Dr. is still with Miss Roberts. She knows you're here, and she'll be out to speak with you as soon as she finishes up. There's also an officer here that – Oh, here he is now." She ducked out of the room as the detective came in.

"Hey Sandy, how are you?"

"Hello, Paul. I've been better, obviously. What the hell happened here?"

Paul pulled out his notepad and gestured to a chair. "You might want to sit down for this. I thought you and Kirsten had a son?"

"We do. Summer is his girlfriend; she had an accident last week and her father and step-mom were supposedly out of the country and unreachable, so I took legal guardianship. Now what happened?" Sandy didn't really feel like telling their life story. He told himself to remember not to ask stupid questions of his clients when more important things needed discussed. He sat down, and the cop settled next to him.

"She has a step-mother, huh? Ok, Here's what happened. The victim made an unclear, vague 911 call; the operator had to trace her location. Upon our arrival, there was no answer at the door, so we went in and searched the home, finding her unconscious at the rear of the house. She was badly beaten and partially clothed."

Sandy felt the room tilt and closed his eyes until gravity kicked in again. "Raped?"

"We don't think so, but won't know for sure until she regains consciousness."

"What, exactly, does 'we don't think so' mean?"

"Her jeans were found outside near the pool, but she was still wearing her panties, for the most part. There was definitely a rape attempt, as the perp was found half naked next to her jeans, his pants, and his underwear."

"He was still there?" Sandy was horrified.

"Yes sir. Your girl hit him where it hurts, very effectively putting the bastard out of commission. Hopefully before he got want he wanted." He allowed himself a small smile. "As terrible as the situation is for Miss Roberts, we cops are always happy to see a rapist holding onto his johnson in the fetal position, puking his guts out from the pain."

Sandy nodded grimly. "The very thought is bringing me extreme happiness right now."

"What do you know about the mother, Sandy?" Paul checked his notebook quickly.

"Summer's mother?" Sandy thought hard. "It seems like I heard she left when Summer was very young. Why?"

The cop scribbled something in his book. "I mentioned the garbled 911 call, right?"

Sandy nodded.

"Apparently the victim said something to the effect that the perp killed her mother. We're searching the area right now."

"Are you serious?! My God!" Sandy was glad he was sitting down. "Why didn't I ask this before now? 'The perp' is Summer's dad, right?"

Paul nodded sadly. "What makes a father do something like this?"

"I can answer that, unfortunately. He sexually abused the girl throughout her childhood, and had so thoroughly messed with her head that it wasn't until earlier today that she finally confronted him."

"Ah. The confrontation sent him over the edge." Paul wrote for a few minutes in his notebook. "Poor kid. She's having a rough day, all right."

Sandy snorted. "You don't know the half of it. She was hit by a car last week – her own car, that her best friend was driving, who got in a horrible wreck, and now she's brain dead. My other boy, Ryan, was in the car too."

"Did I hear my name?" Ryan entered the room as Paul shook his head in sympathy, followed by an impatient Seth.

"Is she ok, Dad? Have you seen her?"

Sandy looked from Seth to Ryan. "I thought I told you to stay home, and the doctor hasn't come out yet."

"Sorry." Ryan looked contrite. "It's my fault. We were just going to her house to get some things for her, you know, so Seth could feel…useful."

"And when we got there, there were cops all over the place, and one of them told us what happened. After we dropped your name, of course, and uh, someone may have overstated the significance of her diamond ring." Seth still looked grim.

Ryan looked imploringly at Sandy, gesturing toward Seth. "So we came here, because -"

"Because there's no way in hell that Seth would have gone home after finding out that Summer was attacked. Yeah. You're off the hook, Ryan." Sandy smiled at him.

Paul looked confused. "You have two sons?"

Sandy looked warmly at the boys. "Yes, I do. Ryan favors Kirsten; Seth looks more like me." It was a true statement. "Seth, Ryan, this is Detective Allen."

Seth elbowed Ryan. "Mama's boy." He shook hands with Paul

Ryan smiled, embarrassed but enjoying the family references. "Nice to meet you." He shrugged, holding up a bandaged hand.

Paul waved it off. "No problem. So Fuller told you what happened at the house?"

Seth nodded. "Yeah. Attempted ra…I can't even say it, and he – Hit. Her." His words came through gritted teeth. He stared down his dad. "I TOLD you it was him. I TOLD you he was a slimebag."

"You were right, son. Did Fuller tell you what she did to him?"

"He just said she defended herself, and injured him. Why? "

Sandy exchanged a look with Paul. "Tell them. Tell them how you found him."

Kirsten walked into the waiting room to find all the guys laughing and high-fiving each other. "I hope this means she's ok."

All four of them suddenly had another place to look besides at her.

Seth spoke up. "Um, we were just……celebrating the fact that Summer fought back. We don't know how she is yet."

Kirsten shook her head sadly. "The poor thing." Sadness turned to anger. "I hope she kicked his nuts up into one of his lungs."

Seth's eyes widened to the point of bugging out, Ryan's jaw dropped, and the cop lowered his head to hide his smile.

"Honey, I wish you'd tell us how you REALLY feel." Sandy was a little taken aback himself.

"What? He deserves worse than that! The girl's seen enough pain for a lifetime, thanks to him, and she's only seventeen." She looked from Seth to Ryan to Sandy. "Am I wrong?"

"No! No, you're not Mom, we're just – I've never – well, how do I say this? Imagine that. Me – at a loss for words." Seth looked to Ryan for help. Ryan held both hands up and shook his head, looking away quickly. "Thanks, man. For nothing." He turned back to Kirsten and spoke carefully. "I think the word describing almonds, macadamia, and people a little less than sane is a word that one never expects to hear from their high-society-bred mother," he gestured to his dad, "or possibly wife, as it may be, especially in the context that it was used in, and of course, with such violent imagery. That's all. And for the record, I agree with you completely."

Kirsten rolled her eyes. "Oh, screw the high society crap. This isn't everyday conversation – that monster tried to rape his own daughter, and knocked her around in the process." She hitched in a breath, suddenly near tears.

"Ah, I get it now." Seth put his arm around his mom. "I'm sensing that your mothering instinct has kicked into high gear over Summer. Which is really cool." He kissed her on the cheek. "Would it help to know that the cops found him… uuhhhh… hanging on to his macadamias in the fetal position while puking up his relocated lung?"

Kirsten smiled a little and wiped an eye. "Yes. It helps a lot." Ryan solemnly raised his hand and she high-fived him, then Seth, Sandy, and Paul. "Summer is one tough girl."

The doctor came in finally. "A tough girl I have seen in my ER way too often lately."

"Dr. Mead! How is she?" Seth was beyond relieved to see that she was on duty.

"She's going to be all right, Seth. We're taking good care of her."

Seth blew out a long breath. "Thank you, Jesus, Moses, and anyone else that contributed," he muttered.

The doctor looked to Sandy. "Hello again, mr. Cohen."

"Hi, Dr. Mead. I'm so glad you're here. This is my wife, Kirsten, and Seth's brother, Ryan."

She nodded to both of them. "It's a pleasure to meet the rest of the family. And so nice to see that you're all here for Summer. She's one of our favorite's around here. How are you feeling, Ryan? I heard you were in a nasty car wreck."

"I'm better, thanks." He smiled shyly at her.

Seth jumped in, talking quickly. "Oh, you don't know the story, do you? Or did I tell you? Anyway, Dr. Mead's husband is an EMT and he brought me and Summer here the first time. He listened on his radio for news about you and Cooper, and sent me word that you were ok after the Corvette wrecked. Don't be surprised if she knows your middle name, because Dave kind of knows……well, everything about you. And Summer."

Ryan raised one eyebrow.

Seth defended himself. "Dude, I was freaking out in the ambulance, and he was asking me questions, and you know how I talk when I'm nervous. Just a little prompting and I was off and running the motormouth marathon. Anyway, Dave and Dr. Mead are like, the coolest."

"Well, thank you, Seth, that's high praise from a teenager! We were happy to help." Dr. Mead turned to the detective. "Miss Roberts is awake now, and should be settled in her room. She knows you want to talk to her."

"Thank you, Doctor. Sandy, you'll need to come with me."

"Of course." Sandy stood up, and Kirsten cleared her throat. "I'd like to come, too. Please."

"I don't have a problem with it, as long as it's ok with the doc." Paul looked questioningly at Dr. Mead.

She smiled at Kirsten. "I think Summer would feel more comfortable with you there also, Mrs. Cohen; thank you for asking. This may be rather difficult for her." Seth raised his hand, trying his best hopeful puppy dog eyes, but she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Seth. She won't be able to have visitors at all tonight - probably not tomorrow either. And while your father is her legal guardian, the entire hospital knows that you're not Summer's brother." She winked at him. "I have $600 as proof."

"$600 bucks, huh? That's quite a pot you won. Oh well, it was worth a try." Seth suddenly looked annoyed. "Now I know how celebrities feel. I can't go anywhere in the hospital without being recognized."

Kirsten and Ryan looked at each other, confused.

"I'll fill you guys in later. Mom? Dad? Would you please tell her, you know…?" He looked down at the tile; unconsciously twisting the ring she'd bought him around on his finger.

"We'll tell her, son."

The nurse came back with a clipboard and Summer's paperwork, looking hopefully at Seth after she saw Sandy and Kirsten heading down the hallway.

"Oh man, not again. You can't just make a copy of the last two sets?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cohen, it just doesn't work like that. And I'd like to tell you how sorry I am that this happened to Miss Roberts."

"Please, it's Seth. And thank you, Margaret. It is Margaret, right?" Seth held his hand out for the clipboard.

She nodded.

Seth stared at the paperwork in front of him, obviously not seeing it. "I'm sorry, too." He finally looked up. "But I'm glad she's here with people she knows, instead of a hospital full of strangers. That will help her a lot, I think."

She smiled warmly. "Don't you worry, Seth. Everyone here is going to take extra-special care of her."

He nodded. "I know you will. Hey, can you answer a question?"

"I'll try."

"I don't understand why she can't have visitors. Is she…like, is she hurt really bad? Is that why?" He was almost afraid to ask, not wanting to hear the answer but needing to. "The doctor didn't give us any details; she just said she'd be all right."

"I don't know her condition, but I can tell you that after someone suffers a trauma like this it's customary for the doctors to restrict visitors until they've had time to evaluate the victim's mental state. It can do damage in ways that aren't just physical." She smiled sadly.

Seth sighed. "Oh, I know that all too well. Thanks a lot, Margaret. I'll get busy on this, now." He held up the clipboard.

She went back to her desk and Seth sat down next to Ryan. "Welcome to my world, Ryan. Sitting in waiting rooms filling out little blanks on questionnaires over and over again." He suddenly threw the clipboard across the room, both of them watching as it hit the wall, bounced into a bookrack, knocking paperbacks and magazines in all directions, then clattered to the floor.

"She's gonna be ok, Seth. She's tough." Ryan spoke quietly, still staring at the clipboard.

Seth lowered elbows to knees and dropped his head in his hands. "I shouldn't have left her there alone. I could have camped out in the main house, or, or sat in the driveway."

Ryan could barely hear him. He laid a hand on Seth's shoulder. "Cut it out. It's not your fault."

Seth looked up at Ryan, tormented. "Why does it feel like it, then? How am I supposed to help her through this when I couldn't even handle the stuff that happened a long time ago? She deserves someone better than me, Ryan. I'd already managed to make her feel like crap before this even happened!"

"You also managed to make her trust you; she told you about her dad being a freak. You made her fall in love with you. Those count way more. And it's a pretty normal reaction to throw up at the thought of the girl you love being molested by her father when she was little. I don't think anyone could be better for her than you, Seth. Otherwise you guys would still be at square one. Try to remember all that, not just what happened this morning."

"OhmyGod."

The boys looked up to find Anna standing in the doorway with her hand over her mouth.

Ryan stood quickly. "Anna? What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to – hear that. I'll just go. Oh. My. God. Her father did that? I'm so sorry…I'll go."

Ryan turned to Seth, who closed his eyes and shook his head. "You don't have to go."

Ryan grabbed her hand and led her to the chair next to them. "How did you know we were here?"

"Your - Kirsten called me. She said Summer was hurt and, and you guys were here, and thought maybe it would be good if I came, too. I'm sorry." She looked bewildered. "Is Summer ok? You look – Seth – are you ok?"

He sat back and leaned his head against the wall, eyes still closed. "No. And no."

Anna saw the mess on the floor and went over, picking up the clipboard. She set it on a chair, then collected the books and magazines, piling them on a table.

Seth managed a tiny smile. "Thanks." He got up and grabbed the clipboard, sliding into another seat and staring at the task before him. He didn't look up. "You might as well tell her why Summer's here, Ryan. Just please, keep all this to yourself, Anna."

"Of course. I would never… " Anna was still too horrified to finish her sentence.

Seth bent to rescue the pen from under another chair and concentrated on filling out the heap of papers while Ryan filled Anna in.

* * *

Sandy stepped through the doorway, steeling himself for how she might look. When he saw her, her head turned to the side as if studying the window blinds; he forced himself not to comment as his heart broke. One eye had swollen completely shut; from what he could tell, the other looked about the same. Both lips were split open and it was obvious the man had hit her many times in the face; she was nearly unrecognizable from the swelling. The need to feel Mr. Roberts' throat in his hands while squeezing as hard as he could suddenly filled him. He shook it off. "Summer?"

She didn't move. The doctor had told them on the way to the room that the girl had yet to speak, communicating only in nods or shakes of her head when absolutely necessary.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you, kiddo." He let out a long sigh. "The whole family's here at the hospital, and we're gonna do anything we can to help you through this. Ok? Seth's here - he wanted me to tell you that he loves you very much. They won't let him in to see you and he's not too happy about that. Ryan's here, and Kirsten too, because you're part of our family and we all love you. Everything's going to be ok, Summer, I promise."

She didn't respond.

"I know how hard it will be to talk about this, but there's a detective here that wants to get a statement from you, so we can prosecute your attacker and punish him for what he did to you. Do you feel up to it?"

She nodded, just a small movement of her head.

"Ok, that's good, honey. I'm proud of you. I'm gonna be right here, and Kirsten wants to be with you too, if that's ok. It might be easier for you with another woman here."

Summer nodded again.

"Ok. I'll let them in." He opened the door for the cop and Kirsten.

As she came in, Kirsten stopped for a split second after seeing Summer, stiffening, then continued across the room, dragging a chair next to the bed, sitting down and grabbing one of Summer hands in her own. "Hi, baby. I'm going to stay right here with you, ok? We're gonna get through this together."

"Hi, Miss Roberts, I'm Detective Allen." He pulled a chair up on the other side and got out his notebook and a pen. "The doctor told me it might hurt for you to talk, so I'll try to get as much information as I can with questions you can answer yes or no to. I'll be as brief as possible, I know you need to rest." He quickly confirmed that her father was her attacker, and that Summer had injured him before a rape took place.

Kirsten and Sandy exchanged an immensely relieved look while the detective continued asking about details that she could answer with a shake or nod of her head.

"Ok, Miss Roberts, you're doing very well. Now I need to know exactly what happened from the time he arrived at the house."

It was quiet for a moment, then she spoke haltingly, with difficulty, never looking away from the blinds or making eye contact with anyone. "I was on the patio and he showed up. He asked about my white knight and why he wasn't there to save me."

"Your white knight?"

"Seth. Earlier today he made my dad stop calling me names."

"How?"

"Grabbed him by the throat - was gonna hit him. I made him stop." Her voice was low and dull, with no inflections on the words.

Sandy looked proudly at Kirsten. He never would have guessed Seth had it in him; he just wasn't that kind of person. Amazing what love does to a guy.

"You didn't want Seth to hurt your dad?"

"I wanted to hurt him… My fight, not Seth's."

"I see. What happened next?"

"I hit him. Twice."

"On the patio?"

He could see her furrow her brow, confused.

"No, earlier….On the patio, I said I take care of myself. He said that Cohen…… must have left me. And other… bad stuff. He was jealous. Of Seth." A lone tear slipped down her cheek. She was quiet until the cop prompted her again.

"Then what happened?"

"He kept coming at me, and I was backing away from him. Told him Seth was coming back. Knew he was crazy and would try – something. I ran – he caught me, I kicked him, he hit me, I fell backwards. He sat on me; hit me some more. Said sorry; did it so I'd be good. Then …… that he had to make sure …… I'm not a problem anymore …… like mom. Had to teach us a lesson."

Kirsten and Sandy looked at each other, sickened as Summer spoke in monotones about her assault.

Detective Allen sat up straight, wanting to make sure he understood her. "Are you saying that he planned to kill you?"

She nodded. "Like mom. Think he pushed her ……off patio."

"What were his exact words? Can you remember?"

She thought for a moment. " 'I'm sorry that I have to make sure you won't be a problem anymore, just like I did your mama. Have to teach…you women a lesson. ' "

Kirsten looked up at Sandy in horror; he grabbed her free hand and shook his head in disbelief. "Are you ok, Summer? You can stop if you want to. We can finish this later." Sandy had no idea the nut job had planned to kill her after he raped her.

Summer shook her head. "Finish now. He said …… take off clothes and show daddy………..how much I love him." She shuddered involuntarily. "I almost got away, but he caught my foot and I fell down. Hit me again. Took off my pants……….." Another tear fell. "Took his off, kind of sat up – I hit him with my cast. Crawled inside, locked doors to patio and bathroom ……then I'm here."

"Did he actually touch you anywhere that was inappropriate?"

Hesitation, then a slow nod as her cheeks burned red.

Detective Allen stood, shoving his notebook into his shirt pocket. "All right, that's all I need for now. Thank you very much, Miss Roberts. I know that was tough, but you did a great job. I'm sorry that this happened to you, and I hope you feel better soon." He dropped one his cards on her table. "Call if you think of anything else, or have any questions." He shook hands with Sandy and Kirsten, and left the room.

"Good job, Summer… Is there anything I can get you?" Sandy wasn't sure what to do now. He'd heard of so many cases like this as a public defender, but being on the intensely personal side instead of the desk side had him at a loss.

He got no response, and figured she was either worn out, or only responding to the police so she could put her dad away. He doubted like hell that he'd feel like talking if he was in her situation.

"Could you get us something cold to drink, Sandy? It might make her mouth feel better." Kirsten just wanted him out of the room.

Sandy was glad to have something to do. "Sure thing. And I'll talk to the boys for a minute, too."

She watched him leave, then got up and took the chair the cop had been sitting in, as Summer's face was turned that direction. She ran a hand lovingly over the girl's dark hair. "Does Sandy scare you, Summer?"

She still wouldn't make eye contact, but shook her head no, giving Kirsten a feeling of success. "If anyone frightens you, like an orderly or a nurse, or even a doctor, you make sure and let me know. I'll throw them out. I'm guessing that being around men could make you uncomfortable for a while."

Summer sighed.

"Everything's going to be ok, sweetie, I swear. Things will get easier for you. Are you in a lot of pain?"

She nodded, and Kirsten hit the call button. "I'll take care of that." She rose and grabbed a cloth from the bathroom, running it under cool water. Returning to the bed, she very gently blotted the cloth over Summer's cheeks and forehead. "Does that hurt?"

A quick no.

"Feel good?"

Small nod.

"Good." Kirsten grabbed the small basin from the table and ran cold water into it from the sink, returning to dip the cloth in and continue smoothing it over the girl's swollen face.

The nurse came in, looking worried. "Is everything all right?"

"Summer's in a lot of pain. Has Dr. Mead prescribed anything for her?"

"Yes, she did, Mrs. Cohen; I'll be right back." She fairly sprinted for the door, and Kirsten barely caught her.

"Can we get a cup of ice, too, please?"

"Right away, ma'am."

Kirsten almost laughed. "Well, you certainly are getting the royal treatment. Not that you don't deserve it." She took Summer's hand again. "Are you tired, baby?"

Summer nodded.

"The medication will relax you so you can rest." Kirsten kissed her on the forehead gently. "Everything's gonna be ok." She sat back and quickly brushed her own tears away with her free hand. "I hate so much that this happened, Summer. It must have been awful for you."

The nurse came in with a cup of ice and a hypodermic needle. "This will make you feel better, sweetheart." She lifted the blanket and gave Summer the shot in her hip. "It'll start working very soon." She turned to Kirsten. "Anything else, Mrs. Cohen?"

"No, but thank you. I'm hoping she can get some sleep now."

"That will do her a world of good, for sure. Don't hesitate to call if the two of you need anything. Anything at all." She smiled and backed out of the room.

Kirsten fed Summer some ice chips, and a couple of minutes later, the traumatized girl seemed to be less tense. "Feel better now?"

Summer nodded slowly.

"Don't be afraid to go to sleep, because I'm not leaving. I'll stay right here and make sure nothing bad happens to you. I'll be here when you wake up."

Summer sighed again, and seemed to relax into her pillow. Kirsten watched her for a moment, then smiled, elated as she felt Summer squeeze her hand.


	35. Lies35

A/N – You guys are the bestest!! Thanks for reading and/or continuing to review!! I totally appreciate your thoughts!!

Lies 34

Seth heard the door close softly, and opened his eyes to see his dad standing in front of him. He scrambled to his feet from his position seated on the floor across the hall from Summer's room. "So? How is she?" His father didn't speak, just looked at him with sadness, then looked away. "Oh, God. It's bad. I knew it was bad. I want to see her, Dad. C'mon, I NEED to see her."

Sandy shook his head and walked Seth away from the room. "I really think it's best if you wait, son. I'm not going to lie to you; she's not doing very well."

"What did he do to her? I mean, he didn't really… she hit him before…"

"He didn't. She whacked him with the cast on her arm before he…." They rounded the corner to the waiting area, where Ryan and Anna were talking quietly. They both jumped up when they saw Sandy.

"Hey, guys. Thanks for coming, Anna. Summer will appreciate it." He turned to Seth. "Does Anna know?"

"Yeah, she does. She'll keep it to herself."

"That's fine." Sandy sighed. "So listen. She's pretty beat up. I guess he knocked her down twice when she tried to get away and punched her in the face a bunch of times. She's – I barely recognized her."

Seth shoved his hands deep into his pockets so no one could see them shake. He stared at the floor.

"She hasn't spoken, except for what the police needed for her statement, and she won't look at anyone. She's pretty traumatized."

Anna shook her head, near tears. "I can't even imagine what she went through. What can we do to help?"

Sandy was touched. "Aw, that's nice of you, but there's really nothing anyone can do right now. She thinks I don't know, but Kirsten went into total mother-bear protecting-her-cub mode as soon as Paul left."

"That's exactly what Summer needs. " Anna blushed as the guys all looked at her. "Well, that's what I'd want, anyway. Especially in her situation; there's nothing better than a mom to take care of you, and she's never had that, from what I've heard."

Sandy smiled a little. "I think you're right. Summer's in the best hands she can be in right now. So you guys should head on home, there's nothing you can do here. I'll call if anything changes."

"Anna, can you give Ryan a ride? I'm staying for a little while." Seth could not leave. Not yet.

"Sure. Will you be ok?" Anna watched him anxiously.

Seth hugged her. "I'll be fine. Thanks for coming."

Ryan put a hand on Seth's back. "Call if you need anything, ok?"

"You know I will, amigo, thanks." He turned to his dad as Ryan and Anna walked away. "So what's really going on, Dad?"

"What are you talking about?"

"There's more to this than you're telling me. There was a helicopter flying over the canyon her house sits above, and crime scene tape all over the place. Stop lying and tell me what the son of Satan did to her."

Sandy sighed heavily. "Sit down, son." They took seats in the waiting room, Seth staring at him nervously the whole time. "I didn't lie, I just … withheld. What I didn't tell you is that he was planning to kill her after he raped her. And from their conversation, Summer believes he killed her mother."

Seth raised his hands palms up in mock shock. "Well, sure! Why doesn't that surprise me?" He shook his head in disbelief. "I REALLY wish I'd just gone ahead and hit the freak." He began to pace across the room. "That's just perfect. Now she's been molested, beaten, almost raped, and almost killed by the person you're supposed to trust no matter what. Your dad, who, oh by the way, just happened to kill your mom and let you believe she left because she didn't want you ... She was doing so well, and now this happens. How is she not in the loony bin yet? How can she deal with all this? I feel like my head's imploding and it didn't even happen to me! It's not fair, Dad! Why is all this happening to her?!"

"I don't know why. But I know she was dealing with the child abuse because she had you to help her. She told me today that knowing you love her helped her face her past."

Seth snorted. "Yeah, until I barfed up the alien."

"The wha- ? Oh. You're just going to have to talk to her about that."

"How can I do anything when I can't even see her?!" Frustrated, Seth's voice rose.

"Calm down, Seth. You have a very high IQ - I'm sure you can think of something. I have faith in you." Sandy put his arm around his son.

"Great. So did Summer and I blew that………Hey, tell mom thanks. I'm really glad she's staying. It makes me a tiny bit less crazy knowing she's not in a hospital room all by herself." He looked quickly at his father. "You, too. Thanks, I mean."

"She's family, Seth. You're welcome."

"You're sure I can't just peek through the door? Maybe whisper to her?"

Sandy shook his head. "Talk to her telepathically for now. I'm not going against the doctor's orders."

"Yeah, all right. I guess I'll go home and search for my lost IQ. I'll see you later." Seth waved and took off.

Sandy watched his son, hands shoved deep into his pockets, walk all the way down the hall.

* * *

Seth covered his eyes with one hand and opened the door to the pool house. "Ok! Sorry, but this is make-outus interruptus! Do you need time to rearrange clothing? Or find clothing, per chance?" 

Ryan was unamused. "We're just talking."

Seth took his hand away, and sure enough, they were just sitting on the bed, fully clothed. "Losers. You had the entire house to yourselves."

"It's called 'getting to know each other', Seth." Anna smiled.

"Did you or did you not meet, like forever ago, at Cotillion?"

"Well, yes, but there were always, um –."

Ryan interrupted Anna. "Seth. It's none of your business."

"Hey, I'm not lookin' for the Paris-Hilton- style videotape. There was no one home to barge in and I just assumed you'd take advantage of that. It's one of those unwritten rules for high school couples."

Ryan gave him a look. "You barged in."

"Yes. Yes I did. But I'm different, see, because I won't cause an excruciatingly awkward moment where everyone stares at each other, then you two sit up trying to act like you weren't just making out, then all parties involved look away in embarrassment and stutter something ridiculous because no one knows the appropriate thing to say. BecauseI already know what you're doing. Or should be doing."

Ryan sighed, trying to be patient. "Why are we talking about this, again?"

"I don't remember, so let's talk about me and my problem. How do I tell Summer that I don't find her nauseating because of her past, and that I want to help her however I can - when they won't even let me in her room? It is absolutely KILLING me; not being able to see her or talk to her, and I know she thinks I don't want to be with her anymore, which is so far from the case it's in like, Antarctica."

"Good question … Hmmm … How about sending flowers, and write it in the card?"

Anna suggested.

"I thought of that, but for some reason it just seems very wrong to send flowers to someone that's been beaten up and almost raped. It's not like 'Get well soon, it sucks about your surgery, or sorry the car hit you.' This is so horrendous that flowers can't even begin to cover it, and they just seem too … perky. Light hearted. Besides, she's already got six bouquets at home."

Ryan shrugged and Anna shook her head. "Sorry. Can't think of anything else."

"Well, I'm still glad I barged in. Even if you are absolutely no help; at least I can thank you again, Ryan - for holding me up, literally and figuratively, and Anna - for coming to the hospital and general support. I'll be in my room, staring at the ceiling and dealing with the occasional fit of rage followed by bouts of unmanly whimpering. Good night."

"Night, Seth. We're here if you need us."

"Goodnight, Seth. It's all going to work out. Have faith."

"Right. Faith. I think I'm fresh out."

* * *

"Ryan, I feel so bad! This is just so unbelievable. I wish I could help somehow." 

Ryan grabbed her hand. "You are helping. I think Seth is really glad you came to the hospital, especially after everything that happened between you and Summer and him."

"That seems so childish now, with all this going on, and it's obvious they should be together." She lowered her head and looked shyly at him. "Besides, it's possible that I may have found someone more compatible for myself, anyway."

Ryan smiled. "Really? Anyone I know?"

"Probably not. He's not from around here."

"You're not from around here." Ryan pointed out.

"That's true. Well, this guy? He lives in a pool house, kind of like his own apartment."

"I think I've heard of him, yeah. That guy that likes the brainy blonde chick that's scared of reformed bad boys?" He winked at her.

"I am NOT scared of you!" She suddenly wasn't playing anymore.

"So it's ME you're talking about? The new guy you found?"

Now she was all wound up. "You know it is! But I'm not scared of you!"

"You were the other night," he replied evenly.

"Oh yeah? Well that was the other night." She moved closer to him, and began unbuttoning his shirt. "You look a little warm. I think you should take off a layer or two." Somewhere inside, she was appalled by her own actions. He made her crazy, and she really had no control over herself at this point. Were sparks really a good thing?

Ryan grabbed her hands to stop her progress and kissed her. "You can stop. I believe you now."

"What? You were testing me?"

He just smiled.

"Ooooooh, you're such a brat!" She lost her anger, realizing he'd just proved something she needed to know, too. She kissed him. "But a cute brat." Deciding to prove her point, she stood up in front of him and pushed him back onto the bed. Laughing at his bewildered look, she knelt next to him and finished unbuttoning his outer shirt. She slid both hands up under his tee shirt, exploring all the fun places on his chest and stomach while kissing him again, making it last, then sat up. "Take off your shirts. Now."

He just looked at her for a second, still a little shocked.

She finally remembered he'd just gotten out of the hospital. "Oh my God! Do you feel ok? Maybe we should just …later…I'm sorry, I forgot you - "

He sat up quickly, pulling off his clothes at record speed. "Fine. I'm fine." He kissed her while guiding them both back down on the bed. "I suddenly feel much better."

He rolled on top of her and Anna relished the feel of his hard body and warmth, losing herself in the sensations. She pulled away from his kiss, newly concerned. "Ryan? I'm not frightened of you; I'm just …" She stopped, afraid he'd be annoyed with her, but all she saw was patient blue eyes, waiting for her to finish her sentence. "… I get so - I feel so different with you – I'm afraid…"

He slid to one side and gingerly propped his head up on one arm, looking down at her. "You're afraid of…?"

"That I won't be able to…"

Understanding lit his face. "Oh. You're afraid you'll get carried away and do something you'll regret?"

She nodded, feeling uncomfortable.

"You don't have to worry. If it happens, it'll happen when we're both ready for it." He ran his fingers across the smooth skin of her cheek. "I promise. We won't do anything you don't want to."

Anna still didn't trust her herself with the overwhelming feelings he brought to the surface in her. "But how will I know -?"

He smiled gently. "I'll know."

Relief flooded her, and while their extreme differences in sexual experience had once bothered her, she was now thankful to be falling for someone who knew what he was doing. Someone that she trusted not to take advantage of her naïveté. She grinned. "I heard there's an unwritten rule that we should take advantage of Kirsten and Sandy not being home."

"I heard that too!" He kissed her quickly, and got up, hopping on one foot to the door. He locked it, and hopped back to her while she looked at him questioningly. "Seth might forget to cover his eyes next time."

* * *

Seth rolled to a stop and cut the H2's engine in front of Summer's house. It was very late now, and all the houses he'd passed were dark. The helicopter was gone, and only one police car sat in her driveway. He hoped it was Fuller's. He got out and the cop met him again before he got to the house. "Hi. I'm Seth Cohen? I was here earlier?" 

"Oh yeah. Hey kid, you're you doin?"

"I'm ok, well, that's actually a lie, but I really need to get some things out of the house for my – for Summer. Would that be all right?" He'd had no idea if they'd let him in when he'd decided to drive here, but it was worth a try.

"I suppose. They're done for now and I was just about to leave."

"I'll be quick, I swear. She just got out of the hospital a few days ago, so I know exactly what she needs and where it is."

The cop walked him in, and stood by the door. "I'll wait right here."

Seth thanked him and sped down the halls to the guest suite. He went to her suitcase and found it neatly packed. He looked quickly over at his bag and found the same thing. Everything folded tidily, including the new shirts she'd bought him. He stood up and looked around the place, noticing all the work she'd done. Everything was clean, organized and in order, and she'd brought her flowers in. They made the place seem homey and cheerful. He thought back to how excited she'd been to get them, and how much she'd loved them, smiling as he remembered her practically shoving her face into the first bouquet he'd gotten for her. He suddenly had an idea, and began a search for the one thing that might help him get through to her. He finally found it, by accident, after almost giving up, then looked quickly through her bag to make sure her makeup and personal things were still in there. He grabbed it and left the suite, making a fast trip upstairs to her bedroom, and then ran back down the stairs to the waiting police officer. "Sorry. That took longer than I'd planned. I couldn't find something."

"It's all right. You need anything else?" The officer was in no hurry.

"No, I'm good. Well, actually I'm not good, but I have everything. Thank you. Thanks a lot."

"No big deal. All right then. Take care, son. And take good care of your girl."

"I'm trying." Seth went out to the truck, feeling a little better. It had been good to be in "their place" with all the sweet memories they'd made in such a short time. He felt closer to her, somehow, having her things on the seat next to him. He started the truck, changed the CD to one that she loved, and drove to the hospital on nearly deserted streets.

* * *

Seth poked only his head around the corner, surveyed the scene, and quickly pulled back around to his hiding place, pressing his back against the wall. Perfect. His father was asleep on the couch in the lounge area. Now he just had to wait until the nurse's station was clear. He checked his watch. 2: 58 am. She should be doing rounds any time now. He took another look, and the nurse was headed the opposite way down the hall. Time to make a move. He tiptoed past his dad and dropped low, moving fast and taking cover behind the desk at the nurses' station. He raised his head far enough to just barely see over the counter and watched as the nurse entered Summer's room at the end of the hallway.This would be a short stake-out now; he couldn't miss her when she came out. In a few minutes the door opened and he ducked, counted to five, and popped up for another peek. She was just entering the room across the hall from Summer's. He waited until the door to that room closed and took off, silently running the length of the hall. He opened Summer's door, slid inside, and carefully shut it quickly behind him. Holding his breath, he let his eyes adjust to the dark room, hoping that the nurse hadn't woke anyone while she was in here. His mother slept like the dead, so he wasn't worried about her, but he definitely didn't want Summer to see him and possibly add to her stress. The room stayed silent, and he congratulated himself on a perfectly executed plan. 

He moved to the bed near the window and set down Summer's suitcase. There was dim light filtering through the blinds from the streetlights outside, and he bent to see her better, suddenly dropping to his knees and covering his mouth to hold back the grief inside him as he got a good look at her face. Instantly brimming with rage and hatred toward her father; his eyes began watering at the thought of the pain and horror she must have endured. He sat back against the low windowsill until he calmed down, wiped his face, then got to his feet to gaze at her again. She was sleeping on her side, facing him, and he ached with the need to slide under the covers behind her and hold her tight against his chest, protecting her from all things evil. Reaching out a shaky hand, he gently stroked her hair, unable to stop himself. He tensed as her eyes fluttered open, sure she would be frightened, but she only smiled. Even in this dim light he could tell she was deeply in the grip of a "happy shot", and he relaxed. She wouldn't even remember tomorrow. "Hi, Beautiful," he whispered.

"You came."

"I had to." He sat on the edge of her bed and took her hand. "I'm so sorry."

"About what?" She looked troubled for a second, then her expression cleared. "Not your fault."

"You know I love you, don't you? No matter what?" He hoped she would remember this part tomorrow.

She nodded slowly, and her eyes closed. He bent to kiss her dark hair, then stood and quietly opened the suitcase. Princess Sparkle glinted in the dim light, and he lifted her out, positioning her on the bedside table. Captain Oats was complaining from another compartment about being shoved in a dark box, but he quickly changed his tune when Seth placed him on the table, nose to nose with the Princess as if they were kissing. Seth pulled a card from his back pocket; the same card he'd given her with the flowers after the car had hit her. She'd liked it so much then that she'd done the mysterious female happy and/or moved crying thing, and kept it with her in her pajama pockets until they'd gotten home. He'd looked all over the guest suite for it tonight, finally finding it by chance after he'd flopped onto the bed in frustration. She'd been keeping it under her pillow, and his hand had dislodged it when he fell on the bed. The words he'd written back then still applied, and since she'd made him leave the guest suite after her fight with her father, it seemed like they'd gone back in time, relationship wise, to the same place they'd been on her first hospital stay. He grabbed the pen next to the notepad on the table, turned the card over, and added a few more words. "Trust – Honesty – Love – Commitment". He slid it in between Captain Oats' front hooves, and stood back, surveying his work. Summer would understand what this meant, and he couldn't think of a better, more personal way to say it. "You two work your magic on her, ok?" He whispered. "I'm counting on you."

After closing the suitcase, he took it across the room and left it on the shelf so she'd have everything she needed tomorrow. Turning to take one last long look at her, he silently slipped out the door. The nurse was nowhere to be found, so he ran down the hall and made a swift exit from the hospital.

After driving home, he let himself into the empty house and made his way up to his room. He fell on his bed fully dressed, and unable to sleep, spent the rest of the short night lying on his side staring into space, twisting his ring around on his finger.


	36. Lies36

A/N Sorry for the delay. I've been seriously ill.

Lies 36 

"Hey, Sleepyhead." Kirsten had been glad to see Summer still deeply asleep when she'd gotten up earlier. She wasn't sure if the girl would feel better or worse today. Summer looked over at her, focusing slowly. She gave Kirsten a small finger wave.

It wasn't much, but Kirsten was thrilled that she'd made eye contact. "How do you feel, sweetie? Are you hungry?" Summer indicated that she wasn't with a small shake of her head. "Yeah, eating probably doesn't sound fun." She watched as the girl's eyes settled on the two horses that had "magically" appeared on the table overnight. Barely louder than a sigh, a drawn out "Awww" escaped from Summer's mouth. Her pain-dulled eyes filled with emotion as she observed the kissing horses. A small smile curved her lips.

Kirsten joked dryly. "My first wild guess is that the pretty pink horse is yours? I've already met Captain Oats, obviously."

Summer nodded, still looking at the toys happily.

Kirsten sighed. "Seth strikes again with a 'covert op'. Did he wake you up?"

Summer shook her head.

Kirsten shrugged, giving up. "He brought your suitcase, too. I was going to ground him for ignoring the doctor's orders, but since he got a smile out of you, I might have to let him get away with it."

Lying on her side, Summer reached over slowly for the card standing between the Captain's front hooves. She reread the original side, then flipped it over, seeing that Seth had added the words engraved inside the rings they'd gotten for each other. Eyes misty, she clutched the small card tightly in her hand and carefully slid it under her pillow.

Kirsten smiled; glad to see that all appeared forgiven with her son. "Will you be all right if I step out and talk to Sandy for a minute?"

Summer looked at her quickly, then to the clock showing the early hour, confused.

"He spent the night, too, in the lounge. He's very concerned about you, Summer. We all are."

The girl gave her a smile full of emotion and gratitude. "Thank you," she whispered.

Kirsten crossed the room and grabbed her hand. "You're family, honey; we love you. Ryan was here, and Anna came, too. They won't let anyone visit you right now besides Sandy and I, but please believe that we're all here with you, however and whenever you need us."

Summer blinked several times in an effort to control her watering eyes, but her jumbled feelings were too overwhelming. She began to cry, softly at first, then with deep wracking sobs. Kirsten sat beside her, and leaned down to hug the overwrought girl, trying to soothe her.

"You have us, and Jimmy, too. I know this must be so hard for you, Summer, but you're not alone." Kirsten was actually glad to see the girl showing some emotion. She'd been for the most part detached from the world since her father's attack, which couldn't be good for her. All those feelings needed to be released, not bottled up inside.

She finally became quiet and relaxed a little. She looked up at Kirsten. "I hurt."

"I'll bet. Let me get the nurse." She reached up and pressed the button.

"Go see Sandy. I'm ok."

"Are you sure?" Kirsten wasn't convinced.

Summer nodded.

"All right. Can I bring you anything?"

"Yes. Seth. Now."

Kirsten laughed. "Well, that's not up to me, but I'll let them know. I think Dr. Mead wanted to wait – "

"No. I want Seth."

"Ok, honey. I'll tell them. Just don't be surprised if they won't let him in yet. I'll be back in a minute." Kirsten stepped out the door.

The nurse came in a minute later, checking the chart at the foot of the bed. "Good morning, Miss Roberts. How are you feeling?"

"I hurt."

"Yes, I figured your last shot would have worn off. The doctor will be up to see you in a minute, and in the meantime, I'll get your medication ready. Anything else?"

Summer pointed to the telephone, just out of her reach. "Please?"

"Sure, sweetie." She handed the phone to Summer, then left the room.

* * *

Seth stared numbly at the ceiling. He hadn't slept, but had slipped into a zombie-like state. When the telephone rang, it didn't really register at first. He finally realized what the annoying noise was and dived for it. "Hello?" 

"Seth." It wasn't a question, more of a contented statement, the fulfillment of her need to connect with him.

"Summer? Oh my God! Summer! Are you all right? Well, I know you're not, but are you, like, better? I've been so – freaking out – and they wouldn't let me see you and I know you thought my puking after, you know, was about you but it wasn't! It was all about HIM, not you, and I'm sorry I upset you. Because you didn't have enough to deal with already, right? God, I'm so glad you called. Dad said you didn't talk yesterday or look at anyone and I've…" Realizing that he hadn't let her talk yet, he became worried again. "Um, sorry. You called to say…? "

"The horses are soo sweet." Her tone was light, and Seth could tell she was smiling.

"Yeah? You like them? Captain Oats has been dying to check out Princess Sparkle's hooves, and I thought they could keep you company if you got lonely." He was relieved that she'd understood the message he'd sent through the toys.

"I need you."

Seth pumped a fist in the air, with his heart doing a little flop at her words. "I TOTALLY want to be there with you, but they won't let me in your room."

"Yes, they will." She replied firmly.

He laughed. "I can tell by the tone of your voice that someone will suffer the "Wrath of Summer", complete with scary thunder and lightning effects if I'm not allowed in your room."

"Exactly. Come now."

"All right, but I've got to shower and change - I kind of slept, well, didn't sleep in my clothes - then I'll be there."

"Hurry."

"I'm already in the shower. Which, uh, may cause my electrocution, so I've got to hang up this phone. I'll see you very soon, ok?"

"'Kay."

* * *

Seth joined his mom and dad in the lounge just as Dr. Mead left Summer's room. "Hey, Doctor Mead, Ma, Pops. Guess why I'm here?" 

"That's not too tough to figure out, son." Sandy reminded him.

"No, no, now, I'm here because Summer called and demanded that I come see her. Because she needs me. And she is extremely unhappy about the "no visitors" thing. I'm thinking a titanic clash of wills just happened in room 301."

The doctor smiled wryly. "Hello, Seth. Summer is one very…. hmmm, what's the word I'm looking for…determined girl."

He laughed. "You mean she's as stubborn as a spoiled mule and won't take no for an answer? Yep, that's my girl. How bad was it?"

"Oh, we came to a compromise. You may visit today, AFTER she's seen by Psych and IF he ok's it. She's doing much better, so I don't foresee a problem."

"Awesome! Thank you!"

"You're welcome. By the way, the horses are very sweet. And I DON'T want to know how you got in the room."

"Speaking of that, Seth. You're thisclose to being grounded." Kirsten held up her hand, forefinger pressed tightly to her thumb.

"But not, right? As in the groundage." He looked from his mom to the doctor. "I didn't wake her up! I just needed to uh, make my case, as it were, and – and she needed her pajamas and stuff."

Sandy rolled his eyes. "Riiiight. She needed her stuff desperately while she was asleep in the middle of the night."

Seth pretended that he didn't hear the sarcasm in his father's statement. "She did! It's entirely possible that she could have suddenly woke up and wanted something! She does it all the time, trust me."

Sandy and Kirsten stared at him, while Dr. Mead hid a smile.

Seth opened his mouth and thought fast, realizing how that sounded. "Which happened, uh, once when she wore a t-shirt and shorts to bed? And realized later that she really wanted her pajamas. Yep, while I was sleeping waaay out in the other room on the couch. She told me all about it. Because I wouldn't know about that otherwise, unless she told me, would I? Cuz I was on the couch. Yeah. Moving on. So when does the other doctor get here? Soon?"

"We'll let you know when you can go in, Seth."

* * *

Seth pushed the door open slowly, suddenly nervous. So manybad things kept happening, it was hard to know how to act. She looked up, smiling, and he stood there for a moment, feeling awkward. Her face was bruised badly, and still swollen, looking much worse in the daylight than it had during his earlier visit. Pity, rage, sadness, and helplessness swept through him all at once. 

"You can stop staring at me like that about 10 minutes ago," she snapped. "I already feel like the high priestess of 'Freak Island'." She quickly held her hand to her mouth, grimacing at the pain talking so much caused her.

"So I'm supposed to feel nothing when I see you hurt like this?" Seth instantly shot back. He looked away, softening his voice. "I didn't mean to upset you."

She regretted her words immediately. "I'm sorry. I just don't want anyone pitying me. 'Specially you." She smiled apologetically. "Start over?"

"Good idea." He went out the door, closed it, and then came back into the room. "So. You got beat up. How's that workin' out for you?"

Summer answered brightly. "Really well, thanks! Getting hit by the car just wasn't enough drama for me. You know how I like to keep things exciting."

He nodded knowingly. "Oh, yeah. Never a dull moment with you around. And it's been like, what? An entire long, boring day since I've seen you which felt like a year and why am I standing here when I could be…." He walked to her bed. "… Over here doing this?" He reached out to hug her and she flinched, covering her face with an arm and pulling away from him. He backed up a step. "Or not." Confusion showed on his face. "You know I would never – "

"I know! It's – it's me… I'm sorry. It just… happened, I didn't mean to." Summer seemed as confused as he was.

"Um. Ok. Let's try this." Seth grabbed a chair and pulled it up to the bed. He moved his hand slowly toward hers. "Comin' in low; nothin' scary here; grab on if you feel the love…."

She smiled and met his hand with hers, clasping it tightly.

"So how are you really?" He lifted her hand to his mouth, kissing it gently. "I've been insane, you know, worrying."

"I'm trying to deal." She stared at the blanket covering her lower half instead of looking at him.

"Do… you, uh… want to talk about it?" He asked carefully.

"NO! I mean – no." She pushed back the covers and motioned impatiently for him to move away. Pulling herself slowly off the bed, Seth got up to help her, but she quickly put up a hand, stopping him. "I got it." She stood and headed for the bathroom, not wanting to see the hurt look in his eyes. "Be right back."

Unable to sit, he stood looking out the window until he heard the door opening and her unsteady steps. He forced himself to only turn and look at her, instead of going to help her. "I didn't mean to make you mad. I just thought you might want - I just want you to know you can talk to me about it. About anything."

She stopped beside him, looking up compassionately. "I know. You didn't do anything wrong, Seth, I guess I'm just a little on the tense side."

"I can't imagine why." He kidded her. They shared a long glace and finally he turned away, emotion lowering his voice. "When I found out what he did to you …… I just kept going over and over in my head how indescribably awful it must have been and what you must have been feeling. And – and all I could think about was how I needed to be with you and I could make everything better. Now that I'm here? I realize I don't have any idea how to do that." He looked back to her. "Tell me what to do. How do I fix this?"

"Oh, Seth." She was quiet for a moment, then Summer's eyes filled. "You can't fix anything. Some things are too …big… to repair." She gave him a sad smile. "When I saw that you'd been here last night, and the horses and the card, I thought the same thing; that as soon as we were together, everything would be good again. But the real truth is: I'm a mess and it's not your job to fix me. And I won't be like Coop, never getting better because she let Ryan take care of everything. I won't do that." She tentatively put her hand on his side and he turned to her as she slipped her other arm around his waist, hugging him. He put his arms around her and they silently held each other for a moment. She pushed him away abruptly, suddenly flashing back to her father lying on top of her. When the feeling of suffocation and panic finally left her, she looked up at him, his stricken expression slicing through her.

"What did I do?"

"Oh baby, you didn't do anything! It's me!" She felt terrible for hurting him, confused and irritated all at once. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"

"Then why?" He demanded, bewildered.

"It felt like my dad!" Instantly she knew that shouldn't have been said.

His eyes widened, and he looked as if he might cry. "Your Dad? You don't – I remind you of him? You don't trust me?"

"No! It's not like that at all! Just – just forget I said that. My shot must be kicking in, or wearing off, or munching on my brain, maybe. Cohen, please. It's not you."

"Then what? What is it?"

"It's me!" She yelled. "I just told you I'm a mess! Now you're a witness to it! Mess! Capital 'M'! Me!!"

Seth took a breath and calmed himself, realizing she didn't need to get any more upset.

"But not capital 'M' like Marissa. She caused her own misery; none of this has been your fault, and you WANT to take care of your problems. I just, I don't understand why I remind you of 'He who must not be named'. Tell me. I want to help, not make you feel worse."

"You can't, Cohen. You can't help. You won't understand. Trust me." She had no words to explain what she was feeling. Shewasn't even surewhat she was feeling.

"Give me the chance to, Summer."

She could see that he was genuinely suffering from her words and actions, and she wanted to do anything to make it stop. "I can't explain! My father hammered my face like it was a 2 x 4 and tried to … you know, and probably killed my mother, and nothing. Is ever. Going to be the same. I'm scared of – not you – but of being close to you!"

He stared at her, unbelieving. "You think I don't understand having the crap beat of you? I get that you flinch if I move too fast; I was the same way at every recess after I became the school punching bag. But I'd never hurt you, and when we were in bed it was because you wanted to be."

She closed her eyes in a moment of frustration. "It's not you! God, Cohen, this doesn't have anything to do with us in bed or - or sex at all! You DON'T understand!"

"Help me, then!" He pleaded.

She looked at him, so miserable and confused, and knew what she had to do. "I can't. I have to help me right now. Look, I don't think we should - "

He shook his head as he interrupted her. "Don't even say it. We get through this together. We have to." His voice was firm.

"Seth …" She stared out the window. "I'm not talking about forever. I mean, like, until I'm semi-normal again. When I talked to the shrink, he reminded me that I'd just had a major breakthrough by confronting 'He who must not be named'. I don't want to lose that – freedom – by letting this knock me down again. I have to keep moving forward, and it's not going to be easy, and you shouldn't be caught in the crossfire. It won't be any kind of fun times and it's not fair to you."

"That should be my decision, shouldn't it? I want to help … In case you forgot, I love you."

She turned to face him, speaking softly. "I know you do, sweetie. I'm going to keep that right here." She placed her hand over her heart. "And I love you too. But I WILL lean on you if you're available, and I need to do this myself. I need to fix it so that I'm NOT a mess. Can't you understand that?"

"Handle it yourself, then. I'll be your cheerleader. Um, change that to your biggest fan. The polyester pants and pom-pom thing? Just. No………Oh. Same deal." He shook his head, not ready to give up. "But we handled the child abuse together. I thought I helped you with that."

"You did! But this is different, Seth … I need to sit down." She sighed heavily and slid back into the bed.

"Are you ok? Do you want me to get the nurse?" He watched her anxiously, worried.

"No, not yet." Swallowing a huge lump in her throat, she took her ring off and held it out to him. "I won't ask you to wait until I get my head in the right place."

His expression hardened. "I'm going to pretend like I didn't see you do that. I'm visually editing that maneuver …… Gone. Never saw it. The ring is yours, whether you're dumping me or not."

"Cohen, I'm not du – "

He raised his voice to talk over hers. "Yes. You are. Which really sucks, because I thought we had agreed on everything that stupid card said. We can just be friends, best friends, while we get through this, even." He looked around the room, trying to put his thoughts into words. "You act like what your father did only happened to you, but you're wrong. No, I wasn't there with the two of you, but we're together, a team, and what happens to you affects me as much it does you. If you'd kept your promise and kept ME, instead of - whatever the hell's going on here, at some point something horrible will happen to me, because it always does, and then you'd understand how much you pushing me away hurts. Or maybe not, because apparently you don't care as much as I do."

"That is SO not true. I love you! You don't deserve to be stuck with me right now, because this thing with my dad has totally wrecked me! How many times do I have to say this? I need to concentrate on me and I don't want you to get hurt!"

"I'll tell you what hurts. I thought we had something special. The fact that you're giving up so easily? THAT hurts like hell."

"It IS special, damnit! I DO love you." Summer was crying now, afraid she'd made the wrong decision, but seeing no other choice.

Seth gave up, afraid of upsetting her further, and at the end of his own patience. He held up the hand his ring was on. "Do you want this?" His tone was short and hard.

She shook her head, unable to speak.

"I'll put the Hummer in your driveway, and leave the keys in the house."

"No! Drive it! I won't, and it needs someone to take care of it. Please? Seth, it's not like we're never going to see each other again. I'm probably going to have to stay at your house for a little while."

Seth rolled his eyes. "Excellent!! There can never be too many awkward moments in my own home with the girl that dumped my apparently clueless ass."

Summer felt like crawling in a hole. "I didn't want it to be this way. I thought you'd understand. I'll just stay at my house."

"You thought I'd understand? Shoving me out of your life?" He shook his head in frustration. "Look. Please stay with us if it'll help you get better. Really. I'll just … deal with it." He looked at her for a moment, softening. "I want you to be ok more than anything." He turned and left.

Summer stared at the closed door for a long time, then finally rang for the nurse.

* * *

Seth sat on a couch in the lounge waiting for his parents to come back, alternating between banging his head on the wall behind him and holding his head, elbows on knees, staring at the floor between his Chuck Taylor's. Glancing at his watch, he saw that he'd been waiting for 45 minutes. 

His cell phone vibrated in his pocket, and he checked the caller ID. "Mom? Please don't tell me Ryan relapsed. I can't take any more …… Because you're not here and neither is Dad. I just assumed another car wrecked, or another house burnt down, or something equally catastrophic happened. These sorts of things are normal now in Seth-world .…… You went to work. Both of you went to work. You've got to be kidding me …… Well, who's gonna stay with Summer, then? … You see, Mom; that would be a reasonable plan if she hadn't just dumped me, and I'm not really up for more pain and suffering hanging around a girl that doesn't want me hanging around. You've got to come back ………… Listen, I don't give a rat's ass about business right now. I can't. Stay here. With her …… I don't know why – I mean , she told me but it doesn't make even a minute amount of sense to me…………… Yeah. THAT will work. She doesn't want to talk about it…… Right. Fine. I'll just camp out here in the lounge. No problem." He hung up and shoved the phone back in his pocket, disgusted.

Dr. Mead had been in the hallway waiting to talk to him, watching his conversation - complete with pacing, gesturing hands, and arms waving in frustration. She walked up as he sat down, banging the back of his head on the wall behind him again.

"Seth? Is everything all right?"

He looked up, surprised to see her. "Oh. Hey, Dr. Mead. No, everything is the most opposite of all right that it can be, actually."

"Well, I have some good news that might help. I'm releasing Summer. She has an appointment with her own therapist today, and I'm sure she'd rather rest at home than here. There's not much more we can do for her."

Seth's shoulders sagged and he ran a hand over his eyes, rubbing them, resigned to his fate. "Yep. Good news. That means I have to take her home now."

Catching his tone, Dr. Mead was concerned. "Is there a problem? I can arrange for –"

"No. No problem. She just -Uh. She just broke up with me. So the ride may be a little tense, that's all. Probably a lot tense. But it's good that she can go home. She'll feel better there. Or at our house, I mean." He sighed.

"Oh, Seth, I'm so sorry. That's a bit unexpected, considering how badly she wanted to see you before. You made her so happy with the horses." She wanted to help, but wasn't sure if it was appropriate. "Does this have to do with the trauma she's suffered? It's sometimes very hard for couples to work through these things. Would you like to talk about it?" She'd leave it up to him.

Seth jumped eagerly at the chance to talk. "Yes. Please!! Thank you!! I'm so – baffled! She thinks she has to deal with this by herself. And she says she's a mess and when I hugged her she freaked out and pushed me away. She said…" He had to pause and swallow hard. "…She said it was like I was her dad. She kept saying I don't understand, and I'd get hurt and in this case? Truer words have never been spoken. But she couldn't explain it to me. Can you? Is this something that happens to abused girls? Her father, uh…"

Dr. Mead sat down beside him. "It's ok, Seth, she told me. Look at it like this. Any patient that comes in as a victim of violence, which would be ANY kind of violence, is given a session with Psych and encouraged to see their own or get their own therapist because it can affect them in ways they – and their loved ones - never expect. Their traumatic experience is so embedded in their system that defense mechanisms will go off in the mildest of situations, like when you hugged her, without any conscious thought of it by the victim. She couldn't help pushing you away; it's not something she planned or even wanted to do. I imagine feeling you close to her was just similar enough to the attack by her father to panic her SYSTEM, her subconscious being, into thinking she was at risk again. Add to that her history of child abuse, and it makes it even worse for her."

"Huh. I guess that makes sense. I thought she was afraid of me, and I would never ever touch her in a bad way. Ever. I took it personally, and now she's afraid that will keep happening." He felt relieved, a little.

The doctor was confused about something. "She thinks she can't have help from you or anyone? Is that what you said?"

"Yeah. She's comparing herself to our friend, her best friend. Marissa let Ryan fix all her problems, instead of actually getting the help everyone wanted her to get, which sent her further down the road of self-destruction."

"I see. Seth, I would suggest that you get all the information you can on Summer's situation. Dave has a saying, 'Fully informed is fully armed.'" She laughed. "It's kept us out of couple's therapy more than once. In any case, finding out all you can about the problem makes it easier to win any fight."

Seth stood. "I bow to your endless wisdom. Thank you, Dr. Mead. You really are the coolest."

She laughed again, flattered. "Well, thanks. I try. I just hope your ride home isn't too terrible. I've got to get some paperwork together for Summer, then she's out of here. Maybe you could load her things while she gets ready to go."

"I'm all over it." He stretched, yawning. "Thanks again."

"I'm glad I helped, Seth."


	37. Lies37

Lies 37

Seth tapped on the door to room 301. Receiving no response, he carefully stuck his head in. The bed was empty – except for Captain Oats and Princess Sparkle, both lying with their heads on the pillow, covered by the blanket. Moving further into the room, he let the door sigh shut behind him as he looked around for Summer. He found her suitcase opened and heard running water in the bathroom. He couldn't tell if she had taken clothing in with her, or just her toothbrush and shampoo, so he stood there, unsure of his next move. He couldn't load her suitcase if she didn't have clothes out of it already. Shrugging, he turned to the bed and gave Captain Oats the thumbs up. "Nice job, Buddy. I always knew you were a stud."

Deciding it would be easiest just to ask her, he tapped on the bathroom door. It opened instantly. She stood there, wet, clutching a towel to her naked chest with one hand as she tried to get a comb through her soaked hair with the other. Her hair was covering her eyes, and she didn't even turn to look at him.

"Would you mind helping me? I barely managed the shower, and I'm really starting to feel that shot you gave me." She giggled. "Everything is beauuuuutiful with the shot. Soooo yummy, the hot water."

Seth leaned casually against the doorjamb; glad to see her happy even if it was only due to medication. Noticing fresh new bruises competing with older, fading ones on her body made him sad and pissed off all over again.

"Jenny? Can you help me?"

Finally remembering he wasn't allowed to stare at her mostly naked form since they were no longer together made him even sadder. He grabbed the door and pushed it mostly closed, turning his back. "Um, Summer? It's Seth."

"Cohen!" She slammed the door shut the rest of the way. "I thought you were the nurse! Go away. I don't want to fight anymore."

"I'm not here to fight. I need to know if you have clothes to wear in there. I'm going to load up your stuff."

"Why?"

"You're going home." Apparently he'd been the first to know.

The door opened slowly. "You don't want to fight?" She looked at him suspiciously, her eyes a little glazed.

He shook his head. "Nope. I'm just going to take you home."

"I HATE fighting with you. It makes me feel so…ucky inside, you know? UCKY! I really get to go home?"

He nodded, trying not to look anywhere but her face as she absently let the towel drop to the floor.

"YAY! I'm so sick of this place, all bland and white and sterile and my God, those sheets! What – do they really MAKE sheets with a 10 thread count? Getting into bed is like sliding onto a huge fingernail file! FORGET about rolling over! I'd have no boobs at all! Shouldn't that be considered a form of torture, maybe?"

"Uh, Summer, do you have any clothes in there to wear?" He turned his head, biting his lip.

"Huh uh. I know! Let's go shopping for some! That'd be fun!"

"No. No shopping right now. We have stuff out here, remember?" He went to the suitcase with her following after him happily. He held up a shirt. "This ok?" Jeans. "How about these?" After she'd nodded to both, he grabbed some panties and held them out to her, looking away.

"But they don't maaaaatch! I can't wear those!"

Without looking, he knew she had her bottom lip stuck out like a little kid's. He sighed and grabbed another pair. "These are perfect. Put them on."

"Hey! They ARE perfect!" She took them and bent to step into them, almost losing her balance in the process. "Whoo -ooops! I can't do this. Stuff hurts when I bend over. Stupid stuff, hurting like that."

Seth knelt with his back to her. "Grab my shoulder and steady yourself." He felt her hand on his back and in a minute she was done. He handed her the jeans over his shoulder and waited until she had them on. Her shirt came next, then he heard her gasp in pain behind him. "Are you ok? What happened?"

She draped herself across his back, arms around his neck from behind, her mouth beside his ear. "My big, sweet Sethy-bear. You're so good to me, even after I'm mean to you." She kissed him on the cheek. "It hurts when I lift my arms so I guess I'm just gonna have to go shirt free. It's such a shame, cuz I really like that one you picked out."

"Summer, as much as the world would enjoy the sight of you wandering around without a top on, that's not gonna happen. Not on my watch, anyway." He untangled himself from her and stood up, grabbing the top. "We'll just find one that buttons."

"Noooo! I want thaaaat one! It's my favorite!" She wailed.

He sighed again. "Of course you do. And of course it is." He pulled it over her head, then stretched one side so she could get an arm in the hole. When that was accomplished, they did the other side. She patted the wrinkles out of it, and tried to put it back in shape.

"Do I look ok? I feel reeeally good, but I'm not sure if I look ok." She stared at herself in the mirror critically, reaching up to touch her battered face, her expression turning sad. "Who am I kidding? I'm ultra heinous. People are gonna stare at me and make fun of me and little kids will scream and run away. I'm like – a monster." She turned to him, beginning to get upset. "What if it never goes away? What if I look like this forever? What will happen to me then? I'll be all alone and no will want me."

"Stop it, Summer. You know it's going to fade, just like it did before. You're not a monster in any way." After grabbing her comb from the bathroom, he stood behind her at the mirror.

"But what if it didn't go away? Would you still talk to me?" She was suddenly so serious, looking at his reflection gravely in the mirror.

"Yes, I'd always talk to you." He didn't understand where this was coming from, but he'd play along. He quickly combed out her hair and pulled it back into a low ponytail.

"Would you want to hang out with me? I'm pretty scary." She seemed almost frightened of his answer.

He realized what she was thinking in her Demerol-induced haze. "Summer, if you looked like this forever, I would still love you. I love you now, with bruises on your face and all over your body. You don't repulse me, and I still want you as much as I ever did. I would have zero problemo taking you to bed. Is that what you want to hear? Oh Hey. I'm sensing déjà vu. Haven't we discussed this before? Like 10 times?"

She nodded slowly. "That doesn't mean I believed you before."

He stared at her, hurt, then realized it didn't matter much since she wouldn't remember this conversation later anyway. He certainly would, though.

"Look, as much as I'd like to prove it to you, it's really a moot point since you broke up with me. You don't want me around anyway, so why does it matter? I'll take you home and then I'll stay away from you, like you told me to." He turned and walked to the bed, gathering up the two horses and dropping them in the suitcase. He cleaned all her things out of the bathroom and looked around, making sure he hadn't forgotten anything before he closed the bag. "Here's your shoes." He pretended like he didn't see her trembling lower lip and miserable expression. "I'm going to take your stuff down to the truck. Dr. Mead should be in with the paperwork by the time I get back."

* * *

Seth had signed the paperwork, and gone down to get the truck while an aide brought Summer down to the exit in a wheelchair. They were waiting, talking animatedly as he pulled around to the door. He got out and joined them on the sidewalk. "You ready?"

Summer nodded and stood unsteadily. The aide quickly grabbed her elbow. "Thanks, Alice. And good luck with your man; I hope things work out." She looked over at Seth. "Hey! I know! Maybe you should have him talk to Seth. He was the best boyfriend EVER; maybe he could give Jeff some pointers!" She giggled. "What do you think?"

Alice laughed. "If he pulls any more crazy stuff I will definitely be dialing your number and having you set it up." She shook her finger at the girl. "I don't want to see you in here again, Miss Summer, unless it's for a visit. Do you hear me?"

Summer saluted. "Heard and understood, ma'am. I will not return in an ambulance ever again, so help me God." She erupted into fit of giggles again. "Oh, wait. That's the hand on the bible thingy, isn't it? Got a bible?"

"I'll take your word for it." Alice hugged her. "All right then. Take care, honey. Come back and visit us." She looked at Seth. "You're up, Best Boyfriend. Take care of my friend here, ok?"

"I do my best." He waved to her, then opened the passenger door and took Summer by the arm. "Time to load. Can you reach it?"

She snorted. "The seat's taller than my head."

"There's a step right here."

"Which is so tall I'll have to high kick like a freakin' Rockette to get to it. You're gonna have to help me. I hurt, remember?"

"I'd truly be shocked if you felt anything right now, but whatever." He bent and clasped his hands together, making a step for her.

"Christ, Cohen, just pick me up! I promise not to bite or drool on your shirt. Jeez!"

"You used to be sweet and funny when you're playing junkie. What happened? Where'd the sweet and funny go?" He picked her up.

"You bring out the very worst in me, I guess." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "But thank you for taking me home."

"You're welcome." He tried to put her in the seat but she wouldn't let go. "Uh, Summer? I can't drive from out here."

Her voice was very quiet. "I know, but this feels nice. People touching me has been really scary since I got to the hospital, so just let me do this for a minute, ok? Please?"

Seth felt terrible for her. "It scares you when anybody touches you now?" He positioned her on the floor of the truck, so he didn't have to support her weight, but could still hold her.

She nodded against his shoulder.

"That must suck. Just, just let me know if you feel uncomfortable, or if I remind you of, uh, him, and I'll let go right away, ok?"

"'Kay." She tightened her arms around his neck.

They'd been like that for a minute or two when she began laughing.

"What?"

"I just have this feeling if we turned around, there'd be a whole crowd of hospital employees looking out the door, wondering what the hell we're doing."

"Or maybe starting another betting pool. You want to look?"

"Nope. I don't care. Let's just go. Home, James!"

"You know, uh, my name is Seth, right? Not James. Or Orlando." He was only half joking.

"Seth who? … From now on, while driving me around, you shall be known as James. James, the chauffeur."

"Sure thing, Miss Daisy."

He maneuvered her into the seat and went around to his side. She was checking out the inside of the H2 with awe.

"I don't remember it being this big before! It's like…"

"An apartment Ryan's family once lived in." He started it up and took off.

"That is just so sad … or was that a joke?"

Seth shook his head.

"Poor Ryan. He's had a really sucky life, hasn't he?"

"Pretty much."

"Remind me to hug him when I see him again. I'm feeling lots of new bonds with him …… OhMyGod! I forgot to tell you. I LOVE love LOVE my little baby car so much. It's the perfect "me" vehicle and if it were a man I'd marry it. Tomorrow. "Summer Porsche". Or would it be 'Summer Boxster'? Anyway, how did you know I'd like it?"

"You are the classy, low-to-the-ground, sleek equivalent. It defines you. I hate to say 'I told you so", but – That's totally a lie. I'm gonna love this! Ha, ha, told you so!" He smiled smugly while pointing at her, happy that she'd liked it.

"Jerk. Hey! Let's go get it! I want to take it for a ride! Please? That would be soooo awesome!"

"Slow down, there, Dale, Jr.. You are under the influence, not allowed to drive, and are under orders to go straight home to bed. End of story."

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"THAT'S something else I like about you. You're so mature." He smiled in spite of himself.

"Shut up, Cohen. Your next birthday will be your 13th, right? How's it feel to be hangin' out with an older woman? Ew! Ick! I just had a mental picture of Luke and Mrs. Coop." She was suddenly interested in the rows of buttons on the dash. "What's this do? And that one?" She kept punching buttons until he had to slap her hand away.

"Stop! You're going so fast you can't appreciate the wondrous phenomenon that is the Hummer!"

She sat back, arms crossed and lip stuck out.

He pulled into the closest lot and parked. "Suck in your lip and pay attention. This one? Is the CD player, and thank you very much for the CD collection, by the way. Very cool and, and extremely thoughtful. This one? Look behind you."

She turned slowly, finally hanging over the back of the seat, and Seth pushed the buttons. The back seats folded down and the tiny lights twinkled on the insides of the truck. He made the moon roof slide back.

"Oooooh. Look! It's so cool! It's kinda like……" She turned to him, glassy eyes wide; mouth open. Her voice dropped to an awed whisper. "It's the 'Bat Cave'."

He had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. She was so serious he was afraid he'd hurt her feelings. "Why yes. Yes it is. And you're the only person that knows. The mobile Bat Cave. Because nobody can really have their own cave anymore. They're all protected under this law or that ordinance. And just think of the damp and musty smell."

She sucked in a breath. "Ohmygosh. I won't tell anyone. I swear."

"Good…You want some music?"

She shook her head.

He pulled out of the lot just as she found the switches that control the windows. Soon she had all four side windows going up and down - simultaneously, one at a time, two at a time, one-by-one in order around the truck; completely fascinated and giggling hysterically. Laughing with her, and of course AT her, Seth wished fervently that he had a video cam to record her antics. What a good time THAT would be to play it for her later, when the drugs wore off. Later, when she didn't want him around again. He'd been having such a good time with her he'd almost forgotten their "new" relationship. He decided right then that he wasn't going to let her have her way on this one. Yeah, his pride was hurt that she'd even mentioned breaking up, and his heart a little bruised, but after really thinking about it and trying to imagine himself in something similar to her position, with all that she'd been through; he had no idea how he would react. Maybe just like her. For all he knew banishing loved ones from your life after an attack like that was normal. But she was gonna have to get over it. He refused to let her go.

She'd stopped playing with the windows and was looking at him curiously. "Hey! You look funny. What's up?"

He shook his head. "You want to see something else really cool?"

"Yes! Show me, show me, show me!"

He pointed at the dash. "Press that button."

She did and looked at him expectantly. The DVD player flickered to life above her and she turned to watch it, entranced. "Oooh! DVD…Total. Coolness. What is it?"

"Return of the King". You can watch it, or, I got you something else earlier today. It was for when you get home, but we can put it in now if you want."

"Wait! Wait! How do I stop it?"

He pulled up the console and handed her a remote.

She clicked the movie off. "You got me a present? I love presents!" She clapped her hands in excitement.

He reached under his seat and handed her a bag.

She ripped it open, paper flying all around her. "Cohen! You got me the second season of "The Valley"!"

"You don't have it yet, do you?"

"No!" She gave him a long look. "You're so sweet. Thank you."

"No problem. Wanna put it in?"

"No, I'm gonna save it for home."

"Good idea, since we're almost there." A few minutes later they pulled into the driveway. He hopped out and went to her side, opening the door. Getting her out was much easier than putting her in the truck, and he grabbed the suitcase and her arm.

"Welcome to "Casa Cohen". Let me show you to your room, senorita." At the bottom of the stairs to the second floor he stopped. "Are you gonna be able to do this? Maybe we could see if Ryan would switch and you take the pool house."

"No. Absolutely not. He's got a broken ankle. I'll just need a little help for a while." She yawned. "I'm getting so sleepy."

"Ok, then. Up we go." Once he'd helped her struggle to the second floor, he opened the door directly across from his own. After setting her suitcase down, he crossed the room and opened the curtains. "Here we are. Summer's place."

The huge room had been decorated in cream and soft green colors. Besides the bed, there was a small reading area with a sofa and coffee table in one corner. A stereo, TV and DVD player were hiding behind the doors of an armoire, and a huge walk-in closet could be seen through a slightly opened door.

Summer sat gingerly on the bed, still clutching her new DVD.

"You like it?" She nodded, but he could tell she was troubled. "What's wrong?" He sat beside her.

"It's beautiful, Seth. It just… it just feels like I don't have a home. I was happy there in our guest suite, but I don't know if I can ever go back there."

"Hey, you don't need to worry about that right now. Our Casa e su Casa, as far as any of us are concerned. It'll just take a little while to get used to it. Until then, you can pretend like you're on vacation in a strange hotel."

She half-smiled. "Ok. I'll try that."

"Good. Now. What do you need?"

"I just want to lie down. The stairs sucked all the fun out of my buzz so now I'm just tired and sore."

He put her suitcase on the coffee table and opened it, throwing her pajamas to her. Grabbing her DVD, he slid the first disc into the player, and made sure everything was working. He turned to give her the remote and found her struggling to pull her shirt off. She'd managed to shuck her jeans and kick them off, so she was wearing only panties and her top was no longer covering her stomach. He saw fresh dark marks on her hip-bones and what he swore was a partial handprint bruised into her inner thigh. She caught him looking her over and froze.

Determined not to dwell on the evidence of her attack, and equally determined not to upset her, he forced his gaze slowly up the rest of her body to her face. "I'm sorry. You're so beautiful, I couldn't help but look." He smiled, speaking softly. "Can I help you get that off?"

She visibly relaxed, and nodded, never taking her eyes off of him.

As he crossed the room to her, he found himself truly NOT able to help looking her over again. This time he saw no bruises; just tanned, toned legs; slim hips, a flat belly and tiny waist. He reached her and slowly moved his hands to her waist, fingers holding the shirt and sliding ever so lightly up her sides. Their eyes still locked, she shivered a little at his touch and he instantly stopped. She smiled a little and placed her hand on one of his, caressing it. He stretched the side of her shirt until she could pull her arm out, and then did the other side. After pulling it off over her head, he dropped it and took a step closer to her. He ran his hands slowly up and down her arms, then pulled her gently into a hug, being careful not to hold her too tightly. He felt her arms slide around his back and her head resting on his chest and the pain that had been digging away at his insides lessened a little. It felt good to finally be able to give and take comfort from each other after the long separation since her attack. "Hey. I – uh - I was an ass earlier at the hospital. I made everything about me and right now the only thing that matters is you, after the nightmare you've been through."

She looked up at him. "I didn't mean to make you so mad, I just feel like I need to … protect you, until I stop acting like I did around you today. All jumpy … and pushy and bitchy. I'm weird, and it worries me."

"Summer, you're not weird. I'm guessing that jumpy, bitchy, and pushing people away are just part of the aftermath of your attack. Just remember that you're safe now, and the whole family is here for you." He kissed the top of her head. "I talked to Dr. Mead today. She told me your reaction to our hug was a reflex from your body that you didn't even plan. After a trauma, if your subconscious feels like you're at risk of being hurt again, it triggers your defense mechanism. You have no control over it."

"Really? How bizarre." She looked down at herself. "Hey! Subconscious! I'M in control. ME. Up here! Not you!" She narrowed her eyes and looked up at him. "You talked to Dr. Mead about us?"

"Well, yeah. I'm not giving up on you just because you told me to. I really love you, dumbass."

She giggled and rolled her eyes, her tone sarcastic. "Nice, Cohen. Give me the warm fuzzies, why don't you?" Laughing, she continued "You call me a dumbass and all I want to do is hug you tighter. What's wrong with me? I really AM weird."

"Would it help if I told you that it always warms my heart when you call me an ass-face? They're just our versions of 'pet names', I guess."

"We definitely need therapy, Cohen."

"Speak for yourself, crazy lady. When's your appointment anyway?"

"Not until 4:00." She yawned.

"Into the bed with you, then, my sanity-impaired friend. You've got time for a long nap." He pulled down the covers for her. "You want your jammies?"

She shook her head. "Cohen? It's too early for the nut-job jokes. Give me at least two days, ok? Then you can make fun of me all you want."

"Got it. Sometimes I'm over-eager, and my usual tact and discretion leave me."

"Tact? Uh huh. Whatever." She ran her hand across the sheet. "Ahhhh. Now, these? THESE are real sheets …Are you gonna take a nap too?"

"I was up all night and that sounds so good, buuut, I have some homework to do, so no." He helped her into bed and pulled the covers up over her. "The remote works for the stereo too, if you like to fall asleep to music. Sleep well."

She suddenly sat up as he turned to leave. "Where are you going?" She sounded a little panicked.

"Right across the hall to my room. I'll be able to hear you if you need something."

She relaxed and laid back on the pillows. "Ok." Looking uncomfortable, she cleared her throat. "Um, Seth? I'm still not sure, uh, if it's a good idea for us – to be us. I need to be on my own with this. For a while. But thank you for wanting to help. It means alot."

Seth couldn't see the point in arguing and upsetting her again. He sat on the side of her bed. "I told you just a minute ago I'm not giving up on you, and I meant it. But if you feel like you need to be on your own, then I'll respect that. What I want … is for you to feel comfortable and be able to deal with this. I just want you to be ok again."

"Thank you." Searching his eyes, she slid her hand on top of his. "Be my friend, still? Or am I being selfish by asking? I'll understand if you don't –"

"I'll be whatever you want, Summer. Pen pal, stylist, personal chauffeur, I don't care. Just don't shut me out of your life while you recover from this."

She squeezed his hand. "I won't."

"Then I'm your best friend, starting now. And I should get to my homework. Get some rest, ok?"

She nodded.

He left quietly. In his room, he sat at the computer and began searching for information on victims of violent crimes.


	38. Lies38

A/N – Summer is experiencing after effects typical of a victim of violent trauma. Not every person reacts this way, but I'm trying to show the confusion and panic that can overwhelm a victim long after their attacker is gone. Sometimes life after a violent crime can be as bad as the crime itself.

A/N – Thank you SO much for all the long, detailed reviews. I'm grateful to anyone that just takes the time to read, and thrilled with any review, but it's so cool to hear all your thoughts, pro or con, in detail. Said it before, but it's still true: You guys rock!

Goodbye  
is this how you want it  
I'll leave but I don't want to go  
And I'll wait but I can't wait forever  
For you to say goodbye

Well maybe I'm just dreaming  
But I know dreams come true  
And I'm still here believing  
That God made me for you

If we could just start over  
Get back where we began  
We're better off together  
It doesn't have to end

Jonny Lang

Lies-38

"Ryan, how are you, my man'?" Seth walked into the pool house and promptly flopped onto his back on Ryan's bed.

"I'm ok. You? You get anywhere with Summer?" He put down the book he was reading, stretching in the chair.

"I was all the way back in, then totally out, and now I'm in there on a friend only basis." He began throwing Ryan's pillow in the air and catching it.

Ryan looked at his watch. "Seth, it's only 11am. All that happened today?"

"Sadly enough, yes. And while I'm not even close to where I want to be, I'd rather be 'in' on any basis than 'out' completely, and I can thank you for my marginal 'in-ness", in any case." He stuffed the pillow under his head and sighed. "I'm so tired it feels like my eyeballs will fall out and bounce across the floor if I open them too far."

"Uh huh. I saw you leave again last night. And why are you thanking me, again?"

"I remembered your sermon, er, advice on the fact that everything isn't about my feelings, as much as I'd like it to be, and I need to do what she wants, even if it sucks. I'm discovering that being mature has a lot of drawbacks."

"Meaning…?"

"I apologized for making it all about me when she dumped me this morning, thus winning back enough respect and affection to be offered friendship, to which I gritted my teeth and jumped on like it was my precious; the one, true ring to rule them all."

"Give her some time. She's been through a lot.

"I am aware of this. And I am prepared do whatever it takes, no matter how much it distresses me, to help her. The problem is – she doesn't want any help. She thinks she doesn't need any, because if she accepts help from anyone she'll morph into Marissa and never get well." He closed his eyes. "Have I told you that I love this bed? I love all beds, cuz you get to sleep when you're in them, except for when your girlfriend's beat up and almost raped by her father. Beds are good."

Ryan sighed. "Why don't you get some sleep, then?"

Seth yawned loudly. "Because I'm so tired I'm afraid if I fall asleep I won't ever wake up again, and I have to get Summer up and take her to an appointment at 4:00."

"She's here?" Ryan wasn't aware that she'd been released from the hospital.

"Yes, safely asleep in the guest room across from mine."

"Seth, go to bed. Take the house phone with you and put it on the pillow next to your ear. I'll get you up at 2:30."

"It might ring a hundred times." Seth warned.

"I got nowhere to go and nothing else to do today. I won't hang up until you answer it."

Seth heaved himself off the bed and headed for the door. "Thanks, bro. You're the best; I don't care what my parents say."

Ryan just smirked. "You KNOW Kirsten likes me best."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mama's boy, you're the golden child now. But seriously, Ryan? I think she really does." Seth smiled at a grinning Ryan and headed for the house.

* * *

_Summer opened her eyes, wanting to see Seth as they made love in her bed. He was in turn watching her, his hazel eyes dark with desire and pleasure. Behind the sexual gratification, she could see a sweet luminosity in his gaze; an unwavering glow that proved without question this man's heart was hers completely. She was filled with him, he was all over and around her and he was pure, untainted love like she'd never believed possible. She wanted to live in this slow, exquisite rhythm with him forever, never seeing anything but him and his soulful eyes – never feeling anything beyond what he gave her. Closing her eyes, passion building into fire, smoldering with need until sanity fled, taking her breath, slow descent back into that exquisite rhythm, ascending to the heights of beautiful torture but never, never allowing the end, the entire world was just the two of them clinging to one another in constant motion. He whispered but she didn't understand, his lips on her neck, sucking harder and the boards of the deck beneath her groaned, splintering into her back with the force of his forward motion, his teeth in her flesh now as she cried out in agony, the pain everywhere. She looked up at him, shocked and heartbroken, and her father slapped her, yelling that she was his whore now. She struggled against him, trying to get him off and he laughed, saying he could tell his whore liked it rough his fingers digging into her shoulder and when he lowered his head his teeth sank into - _

Summer sat up in bed screaming, her body seizing in pain from the sudden movement. Terrified, she looked around, not recognizing the room, which only added to her panic. From far away she heard a Door open, and Footsteps below had her out of the bed, looking for somewhere to hide. The Footsteps were pounding up the stairs now and she was confused and lost, not knowing where to go so she crouched beside the bed, trying to curl into a ball and make herself invisible. The Feet stopped at her door and she was so scared she couldn't breathe, waiting for her dad to appear and the worst to happen. Someone said her name and she began to cry because she wasn't invisible and she was trapped. A calm voice that wasn't her father's told her she was safe and no one could hurt her here and she was ok and she wanted to believe him but she was still so very frightened. She managed to take a deep breath and then another one when he told her to because it seemed like she'd done this before and it had helped. Music she recognized began playing and the voice told her to remember she'd come from the hospital to his house and it was Seth so she raised her head and looked at him very quickly to make sure, then hid her head again. He was sitting on the floor too, but in the middle of the room and she didn't feel threatened because he wasn't too close and he told her again that she was safe and no one could hurt her and this time she believed him, uncurling to sit up, remembering that he had helped into bed and starting to feel a lot less insane. He didn't say anything or try to touch her while her heart rate slowed and the panic ebbed, he just softly sang along to the song on the stereo.

"You had a bad dream." It wasn't a question, he just knew. "It was just a dream, Summer. You're safe."

She finally was able to look at him again and he was holding her robe. Remembering she'd gone to bed without pajamas and suddenly cold, she held out her hand and he slowly got up to bring it to her.

"You feel any better?"

She nodded, staring at the floor. She could only whisper. "Embarrassed."

"This is normal. Nothing to feel weird about." He stretched a hand down to her, and she took it, needing his help to stand again. He held open the robe and she slid an arm in, then shivered as he pulled the rest of the warm terrycloth around her. He sat on the bed, patting the spot next to him. His voice was soft, words carefully chosen. "Was it like a really vivid flashback? That is, uh, if you want to talk, or - or you're ready to. Hey, you love this CD, right? I remember you wore out your first one, and you brought the new one over that day, uh, that day …never mind." That day had been the last time she'd been here with him before the whole mess with Anna and choosing to not choose but ultimately ending up with …Anna. Shut up, Mouth.

She sat next to him, still staring at the floor. "How do you know?"

He could barely hear her. "Know what?"

"That it's normal."

"Wee-e-ell, I've been doing a little research on the internet. There's a wealth of information on what someone with your, um, someone that's been in your situation, well, what they might experience afterwards." He cringed, waiting to see if she'd be mad. She'd been very clear about her intentions to deal alone, and he wasn't sure if his research crossed that line for her.

"Why?" She sounded worn out and a little sad.

"Summer, I know you want me to butt out, but I just think, that since you're staying here, and we're friends after all, that it could only help if someone here kind of understood what was happening to you, just in case, you know, if you have problems. I mean - I know I can never understand how you're feeling but see – like in this particular case? I can assure you that if you had a horrible, realistic nightmare or flashback about …that …and woke up wigged beyond comprehension, it's not uncommon and you have no reason to be embarrassed or think you're going crazy. The dream was a sign that your body and mind are trying to come to terms with what happened. It's been in shock until now. Nightmares are simply a tool your subconscious is using to deal."

"It didn't feel simple or tool-like in any way, Cohen." She snapped.

"I'm sure it didn't, Summer, and – and I didn't mean to imply that – "

"You didn't." She laid her hand on his knee and finally looked up at him.

He wanted so badly to touch her, to hug her, but kept his hands where they were. "I'm sorry. About your dream, I mean. That all this is happening."

She didn't answer, but withdrew her hand while looking away and crossed her arms over her stomach, rocking forward and back very slightly.

Feeling uncomfortable, Seth got up and went to the sofa, retrieving the throw that was folded on a pillow. Returning to Summer, he carefully draped it around her shoulders and sat next to her again.

Her voice was very quiet. "It was worse." She looked quickly at his confused face and away again. "Worse than a flashback – than what really happened."

His expression cleared as understanding hit him in the gut. "Oh. ……God. Summer, I'm – I'm …It will get better. I promise. You're doing everything right, seeing your Dr. and just by being determined to take care of yourself. It will get better for you. Really …… Am I helping at all or would it be better if I just shut up? Because whatever you want is – is what I'll do. Just say the word. Or words if uh, there are more than one. Word, that is."

"You're helping, Seth." She half-smiled. "Would you mind finding my pain medication?"

"Not at all." He went to her suitcase and opened it, grabbing the bottle and the two horses. "Princess Sparkle is here to keep you company, and Captain Oats would like to hang with the both of you, on a friendly basis of course, if that's all right." He got a real smile from her with that.

"I don't think Princess Sparkle would be too happy if he left." She held out a hand for them. After placing the pony on the nightstand, she gave Captain Oats a kiss, then set him down by the Princess. "Thanks for the flowers after the car wreck, buddy."

"You know horses are rumored to keep away bad dreams. They chew them up before they can get in your head. Just think, you have two sets of big, scary horse teeth here to keep you safe."

"Princess Sparkle does not have big scary horse teeth! She's all dainty and delicate and so are her teeth! Say you're sorry!"

Seth rolled his eyes. "My apologies, P.S.. Just make sure you chomp on Summer's bad dreams with your dainty, delicate teeth, then." He tapped the pony lightly on the nose.

He got a glass of water for her pills, straightened the disheveled covers on the bed and motioned with his head for her to get back under them.

Yawning, she asked the time.

"A little after 11."

"Ok." She suddenly sat up in the bed. "My flowers! You brought my flowers!" Looking around the room, she saw all of her bouquets - on the coffee table, shelves, and in the windowsill.

"I thought they might, well maybe, make this feel more like home for you. I saw that you'd taken them to the guest suite, and – and I – They looked nice." Not sure why his face felt hot, he continued. "It just took a minute to run over to your house and grab them. No big deal." He felt faint and grabbed the nightstand next to him for support.

Summer threw off her covers and was beside him in an instant. "Seth! You ok? Here, sit down." She grabbed his arm and guided him the short distance to the edge of the bed, where he gratefully sat.

"I just felt hot and dizzy. I'm ok now." He moved to get up but she wouldn't let go of his arm.

"Just wait a minute and make sure." Narrowing her eyes, she pointed at him. "Stay." She returned in a minute with another glass of water. "Drink this."

"I'll obey a 'lie down' command, but don't ask me to roll over, cuz I might throw up."

"Shut up. You haven't slept, have you?" She crawled back onto the bed as he shook his head, water glass still at his mouth. "When's the last time you ate?" He shrugged.

She hesitantly reached out, afraid that touching would feel as creepy as being touched. Her fingers lightly made contact and it was ok, then her palm slowly rubbed his back.

His shoulders sagging, he leaned into her hand, groaning. "That feels so nice."

She was glad it felt nice for him, because she was feeling nothing but guilt. Since the accident with Coop, he'd been so busy taking care of her, worrying about her, making sure she had everything she needed, everything she wanted, trying so hard to make her feel better and feel comfortable and at home - but just who was taking care of him through all this? Nobody, that's who. He certainly wasn't, and she'd been a poor excuse for a girlfriend OR friend. Sliding directly behind him, she began using both hands to massage his shoulders and back.

"God, thank you. That feels awesome."

"Good. Just relax for a little while." She found it fairly easy to say what she needed to since she didn't have to look him in the eyes. "Look, Seth. I, uh, I really need to thank you. You've been, like, the only thing keeping me sane since the car wreck and Coop, and everything after that, and I'm sorry that I didn't see how much this has affected you, too."

"Hey. Summer, it's -"

"Quiet! Hello? I'm talking!" She began working on his lower back. "Are you still feeling like whatever I want; that's what you'll do? Don't speak! Just nod or shake your head no." He nodded. "Then I want you to stop running yourself ragged for me, and start taking better care of yourself. And if you don't, I will be extremely unhappy. You don't want that, do you?"

He shook his head. "Can I talk now?"

"If you must."

"One word. Huh?"

She concentrated on his shoulders again. "I'm talking about using perfectly good sleeping time to run and get my flowers, and Googling to find out why I end up on the floor beside the bed trying to be invisible after my subconscious attempts to cope with my attack. Going for days without eating or Playstation or comic books or porn because all of your attention is on taking care of me."

"You were trying to be invisible?"

"Yes!" She smacked him on the side of the head. "This is serious!"

"It didn't work. I saw you right away."

"Cohen!"

"I don't watch porn."

"Not caring…"

"I may have read some, though."

She ended the massage, lifting her hands into the air.

"So you don't like the flowers? I thought you loved flowers."

Summer heaved a sigh. "Close. That's fairly close to the subject." She started rubbing his back again. "I DO love the flowers and it's totally sweet of you to go get them and I SO appreciate everything you do to make things nicer or easier for me – I really do and I don't thank you enough. But I would RATHER see you getting some sleep than making yourself sick for me. Do you think I would rather watch you almost pass out from exhaustion, or have flowers in my room? Honestly."

He was quiet.

"OhMyGod. You seriously think I'm that shallow."

"That's not it." Now he was staring at the floor, speaking quietly. "I want to do that stuff, it makes ME feel better if I think something I've done has helped you a little. And – and doing things for you? Is a way to ………"

"To what, Seth?"

"……Prove that I love you."

"Oh God, sweetie. Turn around here." She waited while he stood, then crawled on the bed, sitting cross-legged facing her. She raised her hand, sliding it across his cheek and holding it there. "You don't have to prove how big your heart is, Seth, because I KNOW." She grabbed both his hands with hers. "I get scared sometimes, maybe insecure, that you won't keep up with my endless problems, that it'll be too much for you, but at the end of the day all you have to do is look at me, and it's obvious. Cohen, I put the brakes on our PRE-ENGAGEMENT this morning, and look where you are right now, and how you spent your day so far instead of sleeping. You have NOTHING to prove."

"Then why – never mind …"

"Why what?"

"Forget it. I know the answer; it's fine. I was actually on my way up here to pass out for a while when I heard you yell. Do I get any points for that?" He yawned loudly.

She smiled at him. "Yeah. You get points for that."

Seth fell on his side and stretched out his legs. "Just give me a sec and I'll get up. You need to lie down and rest."

Summer pushed one of her pillows up against the headboard, and moved around to lean back against it. "Well, after THAT dream? I'm not planning on EVER going to sleep again, so I'll just be sitting up and resting, thank you very much. Hey, is there an alarm clock in here? I can't miss my Dr.'s appointment. Just in case I pass out against my will."

"Hang on, I'll get it." Seth slowly rolled off the bed and went to his room, grabbing the phone then returning to Summer. "How about if I lay down on the couch over there? Would that make you feel safer, maybe, so you can sleep? You really need to get as much rest as you can." He realized she was staring at the phone.

"Who's on drugs here? That's a phone, NOT an alarm clock, idiot."

He sighed. "I can tell the difference, thanks. Ryan's giving me a wake-up call." He rubbed his eyes.

She looked at him standing there, worn out and finally beaten down by her criticism. She mentally smacked herself. He'd just offered to stay on the couch so she'd feel more comfortable and what had she done? Sniped at him about the phone. She was trying hard to keep her heart cold toward him, but he looked so pathetic and sad, she couldn't help trying to make him feel better. "You look wiped out, Cohen. Come here." She placed her hand on the bed next to her.

"I, um …here's the thing …I'm not sure that's such a good idea. It was real progress to be able to hug you, and I'm afraid sharing a bed for a nap might be moving too fast for you. Not that we're doing anything, or planning to, you know -I mean, just, in general. I might scare your subconscious."

"Seth, shut up and lay down. I'll handle my stupid subconscious."

"Yes, ma'am." He crawled on the bed and collapsed on his side, facing her as she sat against the headboard. She pulled the pillow out from under his head and positioned it on her lap, patting it. He gazed up at her, cautious, and she nodded, so he curled around, resting his head on the soft pillow.

She took off the throw he'd given her and shook it out over him as he sighed contentedly.

"You're really not sleeping?" He was warm and so comfortable, but felt guilty because she wasn't.

"I can't do another nightmare."

"Maybe you won't have one – maybe you'll have good dreams."

She smiled down at him and combed her fingers gently through his thick hair. "Maybe I will. But you? Be quiet and go to sleep now."

Almost purring while her fingers lightly stroked his hair, he mumbled to her, wondering why he was being spoiled like this. "Not arguing." He felt her fingers moving along his cheek, then her hand running along his shoulder and arm, then nothing.

* * *

"Fine! It won't be my fault if you keel over in the hallway and miss your appointment because you're too stubborn to accept any help! Go ahead and walk! See if I care!" 

"Fine! I will! That's what I wanted anyway!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Seth put the truck in 'park' and hit the steering wheel in frustration. He watched as she carefully climbed down out of the passenger seat, grabbed her handbag and slammed the door shut, giving him one last venomous glare. She'd been quiet after waking him up, distant and preoccupied, and his attempts to get her to open up on the ride to her doctor's had started an argument, which had escalated into something close to war. She didn't want to talk; it was none of his business what she was thinking; she didn't want to talk about plans for the evening; she didn't need him to see the doctor with her, walk her into the doctor's office, or even drop her off in front of the doctors' building. She would damn well walk from the parking lot like normal people did, and when he'd pointed out she'd just been released from the hospital after a beating that would keep grown men down for a week, thus making her not a normal person, she'd told him, seething, that he should not be anywhere around when she got done and she'd find another way home. Insisting that he was not about to leave her there without transportation and pulling up to the front of the building had set her off in a way he'd never seen before. He'd lost his temper and the last 3 minutes had been spent in a shouting match, with ugly accusations flying thick and fast between them. He was ashamed of some of the things he'd said to her, and in shock at the things she'd accused him of. He slumped forward with his head on the steering wheel, still reeling from the argument. After flipping on the stereo, he sat back in the seat and tried to get a grip.

Thinking back to the research he'd done on the Web earlier, it slowly dawned on him that he'd played right into Summer's hands. It was normal for victims to be moody, and also to use any scenario they could to drive a wedge into relationships. She could be having trust issues, or a sense of unworthiness, or a need to be in control. Then what the hell was the nap on her lap complete with hair petting about? He pulled out his wallet and found a paper he'd written times and meeting places on. This situation warranted more action than online reading. Looking up at the nearest building, he discovered he was within a block of where he needed to be in 10 minutes.


	39. Lies39

A/N – The show is depressing me. Not only Seth and Summer, but Sandy and Kirsten? Damn. Damn!

Try every single day  
I know you're worth the wait  
Am I getting closer or further away  
Somewhere behind your eyes  
I know my answer lies  
But you won't release it  
I wish you would try  
To open up and let me see inside

Down deep in your heart I want to be  
Down where you hide your love for me  
Cause I've got to go, I've got to be  
Let me inside down where  
you hide your love for me

Lies 39

"It's like a roller coaster sometimes," the girl sighed.

Seth nodded absently. "Right. Without the giddy fun part. But with the occasional vomiting." He was standing outside appreciating the fresh air after the close quarters in the meeting room. It had been very informative and hearing others talk about how they were helping their 'survivor' of violence had been encouraging, to say the least. Realizing the girl was speaking to him again, he snapped out of his thoughts. "What? I'm sorry, I was thinking."

"It's sweet of you to come to support meetings. A lot of people don't feel comfortable."

"Oh. Well, I've read what I can in a short amount of time, but some of the things my 'survivor' does is confusing the hell out of me, and I wanted to find out more. This seemed like a good way."

She smiled at him. "You really want to help, don't you?"

"Well, yeah. Isn't that the point?" Why else would people go to support meetings?

"This meeting was about supporting others that have a victimized person in their life, not about helping the 'survivor'. Of course it all goes back to that, but we have this group because it's not an easy job, dealing with the ups and downs."

"And that's why I want to know more about what's happening to her, so I can do a better job. Is there a different meeting I should have gone to?" Seth was confused.

The girl laughed. "No, I didn't mean it like that. It's just easy to see that you're here for answers, not to complain, like some." She put her hand on his arm.

Seth suddenly noticed that she was very pretty, a blonde with big blue eyes. She was about his age, probably a little older. He wondered who her 'survivor' was.

"There's a book store with killer coffee up the street. I could answer some questions for you, if you want."

Seth looked down at her hand, which was still on his arm, then back up at her open smile, wondering if she was hitting on him and instantly flustered. "I – uh – I can't, but thanks very much for the – yeah. I need to see if –"

Summer walked up beside them, her voice curious and friendly. "Excuse me, is this your boyfriend?" She had on huge sunglasses to hide some of her bruises, which also hid her expression.

Seth's companion looked at her quizzically. "Well, no, but –"

Summer's friendly tone vanished. "But nothing, Blondie. He's NOT, so you need to get your hooker nails off of him. You 'look, but don't touch' the boy if he's not yours – no one ever taught you that rule? And by the way, red nail polish is SO last fall."

"Um, Summer…"

"I'm starving, Cohen. I just talked to Sandy, he wants us to bring home dinner for everyone."

Seth looked helplessly at the blonde girl, who suddenly nodded knowingly after seeing Summer's ring.

"Oh, I get it. Can't possibly be your sister, so she must be your – "

He cut in, quickly shaking his head. "Used to be. Survivor." He cleared his throat.

Summer turned back to the girl. "WHO are you again and WHY are your paws still on him?"

The girl smiled and grabbed Summer by the arm, walking her down the street. "I'm Julie, your new friend who's gonna tell you how stupid you are for breaking up with that guy."

Summer couldn't believe her ears. "Excuse me? You don't know – "

"Just listen. I don't know exactly what happened to you, but something just as bad happened to me."

Summer stopped trying to get her arm away and stood still, searching Julie's face. She crossed her arms. "So what?"

"So MY boyfriend loved me, but he just couldn't get past my attack. We were together 2 years before it happened. This guy Cohen, he's doing everything to find out how to help you. I just met him at a group meeting about people like you and me, who've been hurt in a violent crime. I know your first instinct is to go it alone for whatever reason, and I know they seem like GOOD reasons, but you have to fight that instinct. If you keep pushing him, one of these times he won't come back." Her voice softened. "Look at him." They both turned and looked, while Seth self-consciously stared at his shoes, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Summer had no idea who this girl was, but felt an instant connection with her. Julie was the first person she'd met that had experienced the same horror, and she felt strangely comfortable telling her about Seth. "He's been trying so hard, and he's so sweet. I just keep hurting him, though. He's better off without me."

Julie shook her head. "If HE thought that was true, he'd have taken any opportunity to run, like my ex did. Haven't you given him several chances to by now?"

Summer nodded slowly. "I totally can't believe he went to a group meeting. We just had the worst fight ever, thanks to me, right before he dropped me off. I've been so horrible to him, and he just keeps trying. "

"Look, I've seen this happen to couples too often. Like I said before, if you keep pushing him, at some point he'll go. And take it from me, doing this alone sucks like you have no idea. I wish you understood how lucky you are that he still wants to be with you."

"Why are you doing this?" Summer looked at her thoughtfully.

She laughed. "Why am I sticking my unwanted nose into your personal business, you mean? For you? I guess I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was so interested during the meeting wanting to know all about what you were going through and how he could help. Then you were obviously jealous and when he said you weren't his girlfriend anymore, I knew exactly what was happening. It just hit too close to home for me, I guess." Julie pulled a small notebook from her bag and wrote for a minute, tearing a page from it and holding it out. "Here's a list of meetings and times for you. They really do help; trust me. I put my number at the bottom. If you ever want someone to talk to that's been right where you are, call me."

Summer stared at her, astonished. "You don't even know me!"

She shrugged. "I know you better than anyone, in a way. Listen; I'm serious. I can help you and I really want to. Talk to me."

Summer took the paper and folded it into her bag. "Thanks. And uh, sorry about the 'hooker' thing."

Julie grinned. "Just what color IS in right now, Summer?"

"Oh. Pastels are huge. Or sherbet colors." Summer blushed, embarrassed.

"I'll shop this afternoon. You'd better get back to uh – "

"Seth."

"Better get back to him. He looks lost. And call me." She walked away, waving.

Summer waved, then walked back to Seth.

He watched her move toward him cautiously. "We're not fighting anymore, are we? Because I'd rather not talk at all if it's going to be an argument. That last one went way past the PG-13 limit that I try to adhere to, in real life combat ratings, anyway. Playstation's a whole different deal."

"No, I'm done fighting. And I should apologize, because I was pretty much trying to start one the entire way here."

"I know! You did a good job, too. I went right along with your evil plan and gave you the argument you wanted. I'm sorry, as well." They smiled at each other and he extended an elbow. She slid her hand through and they started back to the truck.

"So what's the deal with that girl? I kept waiting for the catfight, but it never happened. What gives?"

"You sound disappointed."

"Well see, beautiful women snarling, hissing and clawing each other over me could be rather ego-enlarging. Among other things."

"Get over yourself, Cohen. We weren't fighting over you."

"Damn. You could have at least lied to me." Seth was dying of curiosity. "So what did she say?" He helped her up into the passenger seat.

"Nothing, really. Just a pep talk on going to group meetings. The same crap the doctor just told me." Summer stared out the window as he started the truck. "What should we get to eat?"

* * *

Summer and Seth quietly cleaned up the table after dinner. 

"You feeling ok? You've been quiet since we got home." He laid a hand on her shoulder, and she quickly squeezed it.

"I'm just achy and tired. Help me up the stairs? I want to lie down for a while."

Seth grabbed a glass and a can of soda out of the refrigerator, pausing. "Can I talk you into an after-dinner drink?"

She smiled. "Sure. I need to take my drugs anyway."

He got another soda, then took her arm, and they slowly made their way up the staircase.

Summer sat on the bed in her room with a sigh. "It's been a long day."

"Not to state the obvious or anything, but you've only been up for maybe, uh, two and a half hours." He put the glass on her nightstand and poured her soda, then sat next to her on the bed.

"And that was two and a half hours too many. I'm SO tired." She opened her bottle of medication and took some, then stretched out on top of the covers.

There was a knock on the door and Sandy stuck his head in. "Ok to come in? I need to talk to you for a minute."

"Oh, hey, Sandy. Sure." She got up, making room for him on the bed. He sat down.

"What's up, Dad?"

"Paul, the detective you talked to, just called me. Summer, your father was moved from the hospital to the jail this morning, and this afternoon, well, he was charged with battery and attempted rape. There will be new charges brought against him probably tomorrow." Sandy took a breath and looked from Summer to Seth.

"What new charges?" Summer whispered, already knowing the answer.

"There's just no easy way to say this. I'm sorry, Summer. They found your mother's remains today."

Seth winced. "In the – in the canyon?" He looked quickly to Summer, who's face had gone white.

Sandy nodded. "Based on what you told them, and other evidence found, Mr. Roberts will be charged with murder, and your attempted murder." He took Summer's hand and patted it. "I'm so sorry. Do you have any questions, or is there anything I can do to help make this easier?"

Summer shook her head, staring into space. "No. I uh, guess I expected this. Thanks, though. I just – I just need some time alone."

Sandy stood, watching her sadly. "Kirsten and I will be home all night. If you change your mind, we're just downstairs."

She looked up at him, and nodded. "I know. Thank you so much." He left, closing the door behind him.

Seth slid his arm around her, waiting for her reaction, and when she leaned into his shoulder, he turned and gathered her close with both arms. "I'm sorry, Summer. I know you were hoping it wasn't true."

He could hear her voice, muffled against his chest. "I always hoped she'd change her mind and decide she didn't hate me and wanted a daughter. I thought - One day I'd turn around and she'd be standing there smiling, and I'd know it was her because she'd look just like me, and she'd open her arms like we were in some movie and ………… that's never going to happen ……"

He stroked her hair. "But listen, she DIDN'T hate you. And she didn't leave because she didn't want you - those were just lies your father told you. Now you know that she DID love you, just like you always hoped for."

She put both arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"And – and don't forget, I love you." He held her for a very long time, not feeling the need to speak, just wanting to make her feel like she wasn't alone.

She finally murmured to him. "I'm sleepy now."

Using one hand, he pulled down her covers. "Go ahead and lie down then. Do you want to change?" She shook her head and quickly unbuttoned her jeans, sliding them off beside the bed. After she crawled under the covers, he pulled them up for her. "Do you want me to stay with you?" She shook her head again, eyes closed.

"I'll be ok - I need some time by myself. Go get some sleep, Seth. But thanks." She gave him a little smile.

"I'm just right over there." He pointed across the hall, anxious about leaving her alone.

"Quit worrying about me. I want you to go get some rest. If you do that, then maybe I'll let you baby-sit me some more tomorrow."

Frustrated, he raised his voice. "It's not babysitting! I'm worried about you!"

Summer sat up in the bed. "Cohen! You're ruining my placid aura here! Listen to me. We may not be together, but I still care and I'M worried about YOU! So get your skinny exhausted ass into your own bedroom and into your own bed - NOT on the computer chair - and get some freaking sleep for a change. Don't MAKE me get up and put you in there myself!"

Seth opened his mouth to respond to her angry tone, but then what she'd actually said sunk in. "Oh… Well, when you put it like that…."

"Goodnight, Seth. And don't be surprised if I need more alone time tomorrow."

He sighed. "Whatever helps you. Night, Summer."

* * *

Seth sat on the side of his bed and stretched, feeling deliciously rested. It had still been relatively early when Summer sent him to bed last night, but after stripping and crawling under his covers, he'd been out almost immediately. Glancing at his clock, he saw that he'd been asleep for almost 12 hours. He grabbed his robe and went across the hall, tapping on Summer's door. There was no answer, so he stuck his head in. He was surprised to see the room empty and the bed neatly made. Her suitcase was nowhere in sight, and it appeared that she'd unpacked, as her makeup was organized on the vanity. "Huh." 

He went downstairs and slid onto a stool at the kitchen island next to Ryan. "Morning." After grabbing a bagel, he had it halfway to his mouth when Ryan looked up from his comic book.

"Hey. Don't eat that. There's breakfast casserole in the oven." He went back to reading.

"I'm sorry? Do you mean that someone in this house put ingredients into a dish that miraculously turned into edible breakfast food before the ungodly hour of 8 am?"

"Yep."

"Was it you?"

"Nope."

"So you're telling me that Summer has already not only unpacked and organized her room, but fixed breakfast for five people?"

"Not exactly. Kirsten took another pan of casserole to work with her to share with the office staff. You want some juice?" Still not looking up from his comic, Ryan grabbed the last clean glass sitting next to a pitcher of orange juice and placed it in front of Seth.

Seth grabbed the pitcher and filled his glass, then topped off Ryan's. He went to the stove and opened the oven door, pulling out the casserole dish. Plates were stacked on top of the stove, next to a bowl of fruit and a covered basket of biscuits. He filled his plate and took it to the island, where Ryan was holding out his own empty dish, still reading.

"Just the casserole, please."

"Seconds?"

"Thirds. That stuff's better than anything I've eaten for breakfast in about 5 years." He looked up. "Did you know Summer …… cooked?"

Seth filled Ryan's plate and put the dish back in the oven. "It boggles one's mind, doesn't it? She's done the culinary thing a couple of times now. And listen to this, dude … I got breakfast - IN BED the other day." He sat down next to Ryan, sliding his plate back in front of him.

Ryan's eyes widened. "Nii-ii-ice."

"Yeah. You'd think after going to all that trouble, she'd stop breaking up with me, but no. So just where is my little "Martha"-in-training?" He took a bite. "Oh, man. This is good."

"She left with your dad a little while ago. Something about the police station, and making arrangements fora "service". I was just coming in as they left, and I didn't hear the whole conversation, so I don't know exactly what's going on."

Seth sat up, dropping his fork. "She went to the Jail? Without me? She can't do that! She needs me!"

"Seth. Chill. She told you she wants to do this by herself."

"Well, yes, but she wasn't supposed to mean it! Or actually DO it by herself. Not without me!" He felt miserable now.

"What's going on?"

"They moved her dad to jail and charged him with battery and attempted raa … you know, yesterday. They also found, um, her mom."

Ryan closed his comic book and put down his fork. "I thought she hasn't been heard from since Summer was little?"

"Correct. Probably because she's been dead since PsychoDad pushed her off their patio when Summer was little. While he was trying to raa … beating the hell out of her, he told her that she was going to learn to fly, just like her mom did."

Ryan closed his eyes and pushed his plate away, sickened. "You should have hit the bastard when you had the chance."

"I said the same thing! And you know – every 2 hours or so? I want to hunt him down and choke him till his face turns blue or blow his brains out or Wolverine him into little bloody fucking cubes all over the ground. I scare myself. A lot."

"Ok, Seth? Don't tell me things like that again. You're scaring me now."

"I can't help it, man! After everything ELSE he did to Summer, he lied that her mom hated her and didn't want her, when he knew all long she was dead! Hell, he probably killed her because she found out what he was doing to Summer, and she tried to protect her little girl! I mean, Ryan, obviously the man's sick, but where does the line cross over to just plain evil? Can you really separate the two?"

"You're asking the wrong person. After my father, and my mom's boyfriends knocking us around, I'm not able to see that kind of behavior as a sickness. Unless you're so bad you can't function in the world and need to be in an institution, I see it as a choice. Evil."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up painful memories for you." Seth felt terrible. Ryan wasn't exactly having the best month either. "It just makes me insane. And now she's shutting me out."

"You don't need to apologize."

"I'm doing it anyway. You're having enough problems without listening to me whining all the time." Seth put his elbows on the table and his head in his hands.

"It's not whining - this is some serious shit, Seth. And I'm worried about Summer, too, so I get how you must feel."

"Me too. This must be so hard." Anna closed the door behind her. "Hi, guys. You might want to think about locking the door to your house. You never know who might just breeze on in."

"Hey! Grab a plate. There's breakfast." Ryan grinned at her as she walked up to him and gave him a short kiss.

"Hey. Who cooked?" She sniffed the air. "Smells awesome."

"Summer." The boys answered in unison.

"Summer cooks?" Anna was shocked.

They both nodded.

"I'm … I'm … "

"Boggled?" Seth suggested.

She pointed at him. "That's the word. So how is she?"

Seth shrugged. "She goes back and forth. Up and down. Sweet and tart."

Anna went to the stove and got a serving of casserole. "And how are you?" She settled on a stool next to Ryan.

Seth shrugged again. "I'm fine."

"Except for every 2 hours when he's homicidal, and every 3rd hour when he's depressed and confused." Ryan dryly informed Anna.

"That really cuts back on the normal time in a day, doesn't it? Wow. This is yummy."

Ryan nodded. "Don't you think it would be a good idea …?" He looked from Anna quickly to Seth, then back at her again.

"Oh, definitely! I was thinking about that last night. I didn't know if I should say anything, though. It's a …"

"Touchy subject. Right. But I think it would help him." Ryan smiled and took a bite of food off of her fork as Anna held it out to him. "Thanks."

Seth rolled his eyes. "Whenever you two are done reading each other's minds and finishing each other's sentences you might want to notice that I'm SITTING RIGHT HERE." He fixed Ryan with a disgusted and confused glare. "What's wrong with you? You're eating off her fork! Couplehood for you guys has gone from cute to gag-worthy in a record amount of time."

Ryan snorted. "This from the boyfriend that became Fashion Island's bitch after one shopping trip."

Anna put a hand over her slack-jawed mouth. "No way!"

"He said…'shopping is good' and didn't even put up a fight when she suggested they go again. Can you believe that?"

"Dude. Lots of guys like shopping." Seth tried to play it off.

"Yeah. For comic books and CD's!"

"I slept in the truck while she shopped!"

Sarcastically, Ryan nodded. "Sure you did."

"I did! Ask her!" Seth looked at both of them. Obviously neither one believed him. "So what were you guys channeling between your brains before the conversation went south, again?"

"Oh. We think it might be a good idea if you … talked to someone." Ryan shared a look with Anna.

"Besides us, we mean." She smiled softly at Seth. "We're worried about you."

"Me? You think I need a shrink?" Seth shook his head. "Contrary to what I've been told my entire life; I'm fine. Nothing happened to me worse than breaking my arm. Why would I possibly need a shrink?"

"Not necessarily a shrink, just a qualified professional that has some experience with Summer's type of problems, too. You're in love with someone that severely bad things have happened to - they affect you, too."

Ryan nodded in agreement.

"I told her THAT the other day when she dumped me. But that was because she doesn't want any help. And, and I went to a support group meeting yesterday. And I've read a bunch of stuff about how to help her, and why she does the … weird stuff that she does. I'm good. Fine. It's all gravy." Seth pushed his plate away. "I can't eat anymore."

Anna and Ryan exchanged another look. She elbowed him, and Ryan spoke this time. "Listen. I know I told you that it's all about her, but I mean when it's about decisions she's made. Like handling things alone. You have to let her. If you throw a fit about her going without you today, she's gonna feel like you think she CAN'T handle it, or maybe don't really respect her decisions. She won't feel comfortable with you, and she'll end your 'in-ness' completely again."

"Point taken. But what does that have to do with me seeing a shrink? I don't throw fits, by the way. I've matured."

Ryan gave him a look. "Maybe. Maturity doesn't happen overnight. Look, group meetings are good. That's cool that you went, but you did it to help her. You've read stuff so you know what's happening to her so you can help her. This is all happening to YOU, too. Talk to someone about how YOU feel about Summer's past and what her dad did to her the other day."

Anna nodded. "It might help you resist becoming a serial murderer."

"Yeah. Cuz I want to be JUST like Summer's dad." Seth finished his orange juice.

"What?" Anna was confused.

"Oh. Sorry. They found Summer's mom yesterday. Dead at the bottom of a very deep ravine directly below a patio at their house."

Her eyes widened. "He killed her?"

"Yep. Then made Summer believe her entire life that her mom had left them because she didn't want the baby daughter she'd had. He planned… uh, uh… to kill Summer, too."

Near tears, she moved closer to Ryan as he put an arm around her. "That man is a MONSTER."

"Uh huh. But I have different names for him, myself."

"I'll bet. Is Summer still asleep, then? I swear I would have lost my mind by now if I was her."

"She's tough. So far. In a Wonder Woman-ish way. And she's already left for a full day of -" He made finger quotes in the air. " – 'handling things herself'. Also known as 'freezing Seth out'."

"C'mon Seth. Maybe she just needs to feel like she's in control of something. The rest of her life just keeps blowing up around her."

"I know, I know, I know. And I'm not going to harass her about it. It just – sucks. Not to mention – hurts." He looked from Anna to Ryan and quickly plastered on a fake smile. "But I've matured, and I know that at a time like this it's not about me or how I feel."

Ryan smiled. "I'm proud of you, man. Hey, Anna and I are gonna drive up the coast today. You want to go?"

"And witness an entire day of young love in bloom which is exactly what I don't have? I'm depressed enough already, but thanks."

"What are you going to do, then?"

Seth thought about it for a minute. "Maybe I'll get back to Seth Cohen basics. Playstation, comic books, and po - uuuh…maybe I'll go sailing. Really clears the mind and cleanses the soul."

Ryan fixed him with a piercing look. "You're not just saying that? While you're REALLY planning to lay around the house eating ice cream and depressing yourself more by watching soap operas?"

"Naw. Sailing sounds good. It's been a while since I've been out."

"And you'll think about finding a professional to talk to?" Anna laid her hand on his arm.

Seth rolled his eyes. "I'll think about it."

She smiled at him. "Good. In a way, that would be helping Summer, too. Consider it like that."

Seth threw his hands up in the air. "Now you're just twisting my arm. All right. I'll find someone. Happy?"

Anna went around to Seth's side while Ryan picked up their plates and put them in the dishwasher. She kissed him on the cheek. "Yes. Now I'm happy."

"Me too. Just try to relax today, Seth." Ryan squeezed his shoulder.

"Hey, you guys too. Have a good time. And – uh – thanks. For – you know." Seth looked down at the tabletop.

Anna called back from the doorway. "We have our cell phones if you need anything, Seth. Just call, ok?"

He waved in reply. When he heard the door close behind them, he sighed heavily. After cleaning the kitchen, he went upstairs to shower and get ready to go sailing.


	40. Lies 40

A/N – Yay! Thank you "O.C. writers", for Seth and Summer back together again! And don't EVER do that 'Zach and Alex' crap to me again!

A/N – Yes. "Snuck" IS a word. 

Lies 40

"You ok, kiddo?" Sandy quickly put his arm around Summer as she stumbled on the stairs beside him. They'd gone to the police station to see if there was any more information on the new murder charges, and because Summer had insisted on seeing her father. Sandy hadn't thought it was such a great idea, but soon learned the strength of her will. Seth hadn't been kidding about the girl being as stubborn as a spoiled mule.

At the last minute she'd decided she wasn't ready to face him, but still wanted to see him somehow, if that was possible. Sandy had hoped to talk to Paul but he was already out on a call, and he'd watched in amused silence as Summer took control and worked her wiles on the young detective helping them. The damage to her face was still visible after skillfully applied makeup, and she used it to her advantage. A shaky half-smile and a hand on the young man's arm as she explained her sad situation had hooked him, and he'd ushered her to a seat in his office and offered to get her coffee, soda, donut, danish. Dinner? She'd favored him with a brilliant high-beam smile for his efforts, which Sandy acknowledged as the equivalent of reeling him in. Flustered, he'd headed out of the office, then reappeared asking if she liked it with cream or sugar. Her response of "However you like it" had sent him off grinning like a fool. Sandy had called after him, "Thanks for asking! Make mine black!" and they'd shared a smile before the detective had quickly reappeared, apologizing. Sandy was positive that the young man would hand her the key to the evidence room if she asked.

Summer had soon become increasingly tense while they waited for Mr. Roberts to be moved to an interrogation room. While observing him through the one-way glass, she'd stood straight and proud, the only evidence of her inner turmoil seen in her trembling hands.

"Fine. I'm fine." Sandy's touch as he put his arm around her caused her to shudder and she grabbed the railing for support. Concentrating hard, she pushed away the creeped-out feeling. She suddenly felt faint and dizzy, sagging against the railing, and he supported her from the other side.

"You don't look fine. I don't think seeing your father did you any good." Sandy wondered if she'd slept much last night. She'd made breakfast and coffee and was dressed and ready to go when he and Kirsten had first sleepwalked into the kitchen this morning. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

"I slept. And can we please not call him 'my father'?" She didn't want to tell him that she'd fallen asleep only to have another nightmare and had awakened panicked and in a cold sweat. It had so unnerved her that she'd spent the rest of the night unpacking and watching the DVD Seth had bought her. Sleep was becoming her enemy. "And I think seeing _that man_ in handcuffs and an orange jump suit, locked away where he can't get to me will help me feel a little less paranoid. I hope. " Maybe it would end her awful life-like dreams, too. "I just didn't expect … all the emotions to hit me again like that." She stood up straight and took a deep breath. "I'm ok, now."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm good." They walked to his car and got in. "You know, if you need to get to work, you could drop me by my house and I'll pick up my little car. I've been dying to drive it, anyway."

"I don't feel very good about you driving right now. You almost fainted a minute ago and you're on pain medication. Besides, you're my top priority; work can wait. My assistant is handling everything and he can call if he has any questions." He looked over at her, catching her making a face. "I'm sorry, I just don't think it's a good idea."

"I didn't take my medication this morning. I'm trying to get by with regular Tylenol. That other stuff makes me feel so … well, fabulous, actually. But it's like I'm missing real life when I'm on it." There were too many things she needed to be aware of and working on, and they wouldn't get done if she was stoned out of her mind.

Sandy started the car and turned to her. "How about this? Let me go with you to make the funeral arrangements. I'm afraid it might be pretty tough for you, and I'd like to be there in case it is. After that, we'll go get your car and I'll go to work."

Summer considered it for a moment.

Sandy spoke softly. "I know you want to take care of things yourself, Summer, and I respect that. I won't say a word; I'll just hang out in the background in case you faint. Do an old man a favor, ok? Seth and Kirsten and Ryan will ban me from the house if you end up in the emergency room again on my watch. Please don't make me sleep in my car."

She smiled and gave in. "Well, we can't have that. But I'm really not trying to be difficult, you know."

"It never crossed my mind. I just think this might be harder than you're imagining."

Summer sighed. "You're probably right." She gave him a shy smile. "Thanks for watching out for me."

"I got your back, girl." Sandy grinned at her and put the car in 'drive'. "I said that right, right?"

* * *

As soon as she was out of Sandy's sight, Summer ran for the ladies room. Supporting herself with both hands on the sink, she took several deep breaths. Her stomach lurched and she felt her way around the metal partition into a stall, barely making it to the toilet in time. When she finished, she sat back on her heels. There were a million decisions to be made regarding the funeral service, and she'd only thought about two or three of them beforehand. The man with the appropriately hushed voice had begun asking questions, and she'd quickly become confused and lost her composure. The sad fact was that she didn't know a thing about her own mother - her likes and dislikes, her friends, or even what she looked like. She'd spent her life thinking the woman had hated and abandoned her, and her fa – that man – had removed every piece of evidence that showed she'd lived in the same house Summer had grown up in. After standing and excusing herself, she'd walked calmly out of the office while visions of her insane father and guilt at not knowing her mom swirled in her head, overwhelming her. Once in the hallway, she'd run. 

"Damn it. Now I have to fix my eye make-up." She pulled herself up on her feet and went back to the sink, rinsing her mouth and dabbing at her watery eyes with a tissue. Obviously Sandy had been right. This was just a little too much to deal with right now, as much as she hated to admit it. She went back to the office and apologized, telling the funeral director that she needed to get some more information and would come back at a later time. As they walked back to the car she glanced over at Sandy. "I just realized I don't know anything about her. It was like she'd never lived in our house … and I never wanted to know anything, anyway."

"No pictures, even?"

She shook her head. "Did you and Kirsten know her? Maybe see her at social functions?"

"No, I'm sorry. We moved here right around the time they're saying she died."

"It was just a thought." They reached the car and left, driving in silence for a while. "I guess I should just make it a private service."

"You don't have to make any decisions today, Summer. The CSI's won't release her for a while, anyway. Are you sure you feel well enough to drive?"

"I'm fine. I'll probably just go back to your house anyway. It's not very far." She glanced over and found him looking skeptical. "Really. I'm ok. Look." She held up a non-shaking hand. "I promise I won't road trip to party in Mexico, or head to Portland to see Luke. Just your house or maybe some therapeutic shopping at the most. Need anything?"

He laughed. "I got more than I'll ever need, thanks to Kirsten's shopping addiction." He pulled into her driveway and whistled. "Wow. Now that's a car. No wonder you wanted to drive it."

"I know! Isn't it amazing! Seth –" The thought of Seth made her sad. "Seth said it 'defined' me, so that's what I said I wanted. I didn't even know what it would look like." She smiled at the memory. "As soon as I saw it I fell in love. It's perfect."

"Well, I'd have to agree with Seth. It suits you." He watched as she fished for her keys in her bag.

She finally found them and looked over to him. "Thank you so much for taking me today."

"The pleasure was mine, hon. You call if you need anything, ok?"

She held up her phone. "You're on speed-dial. #2."

"Well, I'm honored to be so high on the list!"

Summer smiled and got out of the car. "See you tonight."

* * *

She parked her car and got out, looking back at the driveway entrance. No other vehicles were here, and it seemed strange to be walking into the Cohen house by herself. She picked up the paper off the porch on her way in, closing the door behind her and dropped exhausted onto the couch in the living room. 

She unrolled the paper and sat up in shock. _That man _was staring at her from the front page, looking nothing at all like a child molester, rapist, or murderer with his 3000 dollar suit and smug businessman's expression. There was another picture beside his and she quickly scanned the caption underneath, enraged that the press would stoop so low as to put her own 17-year-old image in the paper. As it turned out, they hadn't. She ran a finger lightly over the woman's face in the photo. "Mom?" The resemblance was uncanny, and Summer was suddenly warm with happiness that she looked so much like her mother. Sadness and guilt swiftly followed. She whispered, staring at the picture. "I'm so sorry he did that to you. And that I thought all those terrible things about you."

Her cell phone rang, making her jump in fright. She grabbed it from her bag. "Hello?"

"Miss Roberts? Summer?"

"Yes?" The voice was familiar.

"This is Dr. Mead. I'm sorry to call out of the blue like this."

"Oh, hey, Doc! It's no problem. Is everything all right?"

"Yes, this is a personal call, actually. I wasn't sure if I should bother you with everything going on, but I thought this might be important for you. First, let me say how sorry I am to hear about your mother."

"Thank you. It's – it's a shock, to put it mildly."

"I'm sure, and I hope you're ok. From what I read in the paper, I understand that you were told she'd left the family?"

"OhMyGod. Is all that in the article?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"Well, not much I can do about it, huh? But yeah. I'd always been told she – uh – wasn't into kids, and she left."

"How horrible for you. I'm so sorry that all this is happening to you. Listen, Summer, my mother just called me. She read the paper too and was quite upset, because it seems she knew your mom. I asked if she'd talk to you, only if you wanted, of course, and she'd really like to."

Summer was stunned. "Are you serious? That is like the freakiest thing – I was just – never mind. That would be SO awesome. I don't know anything about my mom; I'd love to talk to someone who knew her."

"Well, I wasn't sure, but I thought I should at least ask you. I'm so glad I could help. This must be incredibly hard for you."

"I'm getting by. I'm staying with the Cohen's. They're such good people."

"I'm happy to hear that. I know Seth loves you very much."

"He does." She sighed, not wanting to think about that. "Thank you so much, Dr. Mead. I can't wait to talk to your mom."

"You're welcome. Oh, Summer, I almost forgot. The nurses found something belonging to you in your room after you left. They're keeping it for you at the nurse's station by the room you were in. Here's my Mom's number………"

* * *

Summer was laying the wrong way across the bed, staring at the ceiling after the phone call to Dr. Mead's mother. Mrs. Wesley had been about 10 years older than Summer's mom, but they had planned many events together and become good friends. She'd been heartbroken when she read the paper today, as she, like Summer, had always hoped Autumn would come back home someday. It had never made sense to her that she would just leave her little family like that. She'd known there were problems in the marriage, but Autumn had absolutely adored Summer, and Mrs. Wesley never believed Summer's father's story that she left on her own. She'd always suspected that Mr. Roberts forced Autumn to leave somehow, but had never guessed he was capable of killing her. They'd arranged to meet tomorrow, and the older lady had promised to go through her photo albums today and bring Summer all the pictures she had of her mother. 

'Absolutely adored'. The words kept ringing in her head, and she unconsciously smiled. Her mother had 'absolutely adored' her. It felt like her heart would burst, she was so moved by solid verification of her mom's love for her. Now there were three people in the world that had loved her. Coop, her mother, and Seth.

Seth. He'd been in the back of her mind since her nightmare last night. It had taken all of her strength not to call out for him or run to his room when she woke up frightened and panicked. She'd gotten through seeing that man at the jail without giving in, but the entire time she'd been at the funeral home, she couldn't help wishing he was there with her. And as soon as she'd hung up the phone after talking with Mrs. Wesley she'd wanted so badly to push #1 on her speed dial and tell him all about it. The only time they'd been apart since Coop's meltdown was the night of her attack when she'd been in the hospital, and that didn't really count because she'd been asleep most of the time. Today had felt completely wrong without him. She was surprised at how quickly she'd lost her independence and how much she'd come to rely on him. Just like Coop had relied on Ryan? Sighing, she rolled over onto her stomach and felt around beside the bed for her bag. The main thing was – she had managed by herself today. And to prove she was controlling her future, she'd call Julie. Maybe go to one of those meetings everyone had been yapping at her about. She found the paper Julie had given her and dialed.

* * *

After locking the front door, Summer turned to walk to her car just as the H2 pulled in. She'd been dreading this moment all day; sure that Seth would be resentful or hurt that she'd left him home this morning. The last thing she needed today was another fight with him. He hopped out of the truck and greeted her with her a happy smile. 

"Hey. You got your car! How's it drive?"

She looked at him skeptically, not sure if it was a joke. "It corners like it's on rails. Drives like a dream," she deadpanned.

He rolled his eyes. "You stole that from 'Pretty Woman'. Is it fast?"

She nodded. "I buried the speedometer on the freeway, outrunning the O.C.'s finest, so I guess that's fast enough."

"You did not."

She just stared.

"I almost believe you. But MY vehicle is made for rough road and is all attitude, whereas YOURS is all high performance and beauty. So it doesn't matter if yours is faster. They have different applications and strengths."

"Whatever. But you know, Cohen, you really DID look like a bad-ass driving up in that big ol' thing."

It was his turn to look skeptical. "I'll need that in writing, please."

She finally smiled. "Later. I've got a thing to go to right now."

"Cool. Cool … …" He looked at the ground, then sideways up at her. "A meeting?"

She could tell he was fishing, but she didn't mind. "Yep. I'm going with Julie."

"Hooker Nails Julie?"

"Hey! I apologized to her for that. And yes, Hooker Nails Julie."

Seth laughed. "That's awesome, Summer. I'm glad – I really got a lot out of the one I went to."

She nodded, feeling a little awkward. "So … how was your day?" Here was his chance to be mad at her. She prepared herself for his fit.

"Great! I went sailing, and then, uh, I had a thing to go to. You?"

He didn't appear to be hurt or upset at all, which made her both relieved and a little mad at the same time. "Well, it wasn't great, but I didn't get beat up or hit by a car, so I'll go with 'better that usual' for 500, Alex."

"Wow. Joking, even. Funny, in a morbid kind of way." He looked at her closely. "Was it that bad?"

She finally felt normal, at ease again, with him staring at her like that. Obvious concern on his face. Then she felt dumb, wondering what? Just because she spent one day away from him, he wouldn't love her anymore? What was she? Twelve? "There was one highlight that I'd love to tell you about, but I really have to go or I'll be late. Are you gonna be home later?"

"Yes. I will be getting reacquainted with my Playstation, if you'd care to have your ass kicked when you come home. Huh? A little 'Halo II', maybe? New Gran Turismo 4? Huh? Huh?"

"You're on."

"Really? Sweet. I didn't know you played." He started to walk away and she called out to him. "Seth?"

He stopped and turned back to her. "Summer?"

"I'm really glad you had a good day." She smiled fondly at him.

It clearly wasn't what he'd expected her to say. "Uh - thanks. I'm glad you had … um … a highlight. See you in a bit."

* * *

Summer slid into her car, thrilled to sit down again. The regular pain-killers had stopped working long ago, and all she wanted to do was get back to the Cohen's, put on some Juicy sweats, and relax. If only she HAD her sweats in the suitcase. She looked at the manila envelope in her lap, debating whether to open it now or wait until she got home. Glancing up at the hospital entrance, curiosity got the best of her and she decided there was no time like the present. She didn't remember much about leaving this last time, surely due to a 'happy' shot, so she had no idea what might have been left behind. After sliding a finger under the flap, she reached in and pulled out a greeting card. The front said "Get Well Soon" with cartoon people on both ends of a rope, playing tug of war, and while opening it, something fell out. She immediately recognized the card that Seth had put in her flowers when she was first hospitalized - the same little card that had accompanied Captain Oats and Princess Sparkle when they'd snuck into her room this last time. "OhMyGod! I put it under my pillow!" With everything else going on - new room in a new house, newly dead mom, among other life changing events, she hadn't realized it was missing, but she was instantly so grateful to have it again tears came to her eyes. It would always mean the world to her, pinpointing the moment in time when she'd begun to understand how much he might truly care. His sweet hopes and deep feelings captured in his own handwriting, words that crossed the line from thoughts too personal to share with someone whose feelings you're not sure of – to an offer of an honest friendship that scared the hell out of him, but he'd been brave enough to make anyway. Trust, honesty, love and commitment -The pact that they'd made. 

She glanced up again at the card in her hand and found something else lying inside it. A photo - the passenger side of the H2 with the front door wide open, a side view of a lanky Seth while he bent to hold her, her arms around his neck as she sat up on the floorboard in the truck. She was leaning into him, as if to stop him from standing up and letting go, and her head was nestled into his shoulder and arm, looking toward the camera. Through the swelling and bruising, her face glowed with an unmistakable look of peace, contentment - happiness. The little background that showed was obviously the same parking lot she was sitting in. Not sure what to think, she let the picture slide into her lap and looked over the rest of the card. "We're pulling for you" was the original caption, and the words "both of" had been written in between 'for' and 'you'. The card had been signed; names were all over it - one section of ER staff, another of floor nurses and orderlies. "Dave & Dr. Mead" was prominently placed in the middle. Not sure whether to laugh or cry, Summer sat back in the seat, leaning her head against the plush headrest. She held the photo up again, struck by the expression on her own face, and the complete trust she obviously had in Seth at that moment. From the time she'd awakened in the ambulance after her attack, every EMT, doctor, and nurse, no matter how gentle they'd been while examining her, had made her feel drastically ill at ease, even terrifying her at times, and she'd always tried to get away from those hands. Sandy's touch, someone she was already thinking of as a sort of father figure, had made her cringe today still. But there she was in the picture, a flash of frozen time that showed her blissfully relaxed and happy in Seth's arms, clutching him around the neck and snuggling into his shoulder.

Her thoughts went back to the meeting she'd just been to with Julie. It had been both frightening and exhilarating to be in the company of people just like herself who knew exactly how her life had been transformed into something unrecognizable. Some still showed their bruises, all had deep scars that were invisible to any eye. Julie had turned out to be really cool and not at all a man burglar, just a person that liked to touch when they talk to someone. She'd told the group that when she met someone new, for her, touching that person first was one way to gain control of her own fear of being touched. Several people had spoken, some telling their entire stories, some just talking about a new situation that they'd handled well, and how they'd done it, and some hoping to find help for things they were having trouble dealing with.

Summer was sure that everyone knew who she was and what her father had done, thanks to the newspaper, but no one had mentioned it, or even been caught whispering to the person seated next to them. Julie had introduced her, and everyone had been warm, friendly, and welcoming. Period. It was a very comfortable place to be, once she realized no one was there to point fingers or gossip. She and Julie had talked for a while afterward, finding that they had a lot more in common besides the obvious. She'd given the blonde her number and they'd planned to get together in a few days. Summer had left the meeting room feeling much less like an alien inside her own body. Being with these people had made her realize that the weird things happening to her physically and mentally were to be expected, could be survived, could be conquered, and that she wasn't insane and the only one trying to survive and conquer. The new friendship with Julie was nice, too.

Realizing she'd been sitting for about 10 minutes now, she carefully put the photo in the envelope and started the car. She was so tired – it would be good to get back to the Cohen's. Checking her watch, she saw that she still had enough time to throw something together for dinner before Sandy and Kirsten got home.

* * *

"Hey." 

Looking back over his shoulder, Seth smiled. "Summer! You're a braver woman than I thought. Small armies have fled in terror at the thought of doing battle with 'The Playstation Master'. Yet there you stand, not even quivering in fright."

"I'm quivering on the inside, Cohen," she deadpanned. "Feel like helping me with dinner?"

"Dinner? There was real food for breakfast! I'm fairly certain that civilization as we know it would end if two meals were prepared in this house all in the span of a mere 24 hours."

"I'll take my chances. Chinese take-out sounds nauseating today." She turned and headed to the kitchen.

"I'm warning you! Take heed! The sun's nurturing rays of light will be blocked and, and the sky will fall, and volcanic ash will cover the – the everything!" He eagerly followed her into the kitchen.

"And which movie did you borrow those scenarios from?" She spoke with her head in the refrigerator.

"Ah. Not all movies. That would be an episode of 'Angel', the movie 'Volcano' or 'Dante's Peak' which is decided by whether you prefer Anne Heche pre-born again straight woman or Pierce Brosnan as SO not 'Bond, James Bond', and um, the Chicken Little saga. Not respectively, of course. Because Chicken Little has never to my knowledge made an appearance in any disaster films regarding volcanoes or volcanic ash."

"That would probably be kinda rough on his little feathers, huh?" Summer began throwing ingredients out of the refrigerator onto the counter. "Can you make salad?"

"As in chopping tomatoes and shredding lettuce and such kind of salad?"

"Yes."

"I am capable."

She tossed him a head of lettuce that he barely caught. He grabbed a large bowl and a knife, then went back to the fridge for tomatoes and some eggs to boil. "So. How'd it go? Or would you rather not talk about it. With me. Cuz that's totally cool."

"It was good. I'm really glad I went, because I learned some things." She stood still, hands motionless over the ground beef as she debated whether to show him the card from their friends at the hospital.

"You ok? Or is that some kind of magical thing you're doing with your hands over the hamburger?"

"Seth, I went to see that man this morning. I don't want to call him by his title because he's dead to me." She turned to look at him.

He'd stopped washing the lettuce was staring at her, wide eyed. " 'That man'. Got it. So how – how did uh, how did that go? Did you talk to him?"

She shook her head. "I was going to, but then I decided that would probably be what he wants. I just saw him through one-way glass."

"Was he in handcuffs?"

"And a lovely orange jumpsuit, with – what are they called? – feetcuffs?"

Seth refused to laugh. "Uuuuh, no. Those would be 'shackles'. Do you feel, like, safer, somehow now?"

"I do."

"Then I'm glad you went. And I think you're incredibly brave, by the way."

She made a wry face. "Not really. I couldn't handle the funeral home. Mainly because I didn't know anything about my mother."

"You – you went to the FUNERAL home by yourself? Good Lord, Summer, you must be made of steel! Walking through that door is no easy task for anyone, let alone someone who's seen as much pain as you have lately." He shook his head admiringly. "I'm really proud of you."

She smiled shyly, unsure. "Really? I had to leave – it was just too much. Plus I couldn't answer any questions about her!"

"That doesn't matter. You'll find out some things somehow, I'm sure."

"Well, that brings me to the highlight of my day. You are NEVER gonna believe this, Cohen. Dr. Mead called me today? And her mom called her after she saw the paper today? –"

"Wait. What about the paper?" Seth had a bad feeling.

"Oh. That man is front page news."

"Oh geez. I'm sorry, that's - harsh." Just what she needed.

"Yeah, but kind of not. Because Dr. Mead's mom? Was friends with my mom! Isn't that the craziest! I talked to her today and we're gonna meet tomorrow and she's going to bring pictures and stuff that she has. And you know what she said?" Summer broke into a smile.

Seth smiled too, just happy to see her so happy. "Tell me."

"Mrs. Wesley said that my mom adored me. That she absolutely adored me. Isn't that amazing?"

Seth walked over and hugged her gently. "That is so cool, Summer. Didn't I tell you? Anyway, how could she not adore you?"

Summer hugged him back, waiting for the bad feelings to hit, but they didn't. She just felt … good, with his hands on her back and her forehead against his chest.

The phone rang and he reluctantly let go of her to pick it up off the counter. "Hello?… Hey, Mom …… Why not?…………… I see. Well, that's just more meatloaf for me, I guess …… Yes, she did …… Oh, all right. I'll save you guys some ………… I'll tell her. See ya later on, then." He disconnected and set the phone down, turning back to her. "You, Miss Roberts, have been ordered to get off your feet and rest, because you had a rough day. Mom says also that you are not required to cook at every meal, however much Dad and Ryan and I may wheedle, cajole, bribe, or browbeat you about it."

"Nobody's asked me to cook. I like to. It's the least I can do - "

"Stop right there. You're not to do anything around here except relax and feel better. And trust me, it won't be long be long before the begging and bribing begins." He pointed at a stool at the island. "Park it."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

He put a hand on one hip and perfectly imitated one of her threatening poses. "Do it, Roberts. Don't MAKE me put you there myself."

"If you think imitating me is going to help your case – " She let out a shriek as he picked her up and quickly sat her on the stool.

"Never let it be said that Seth Cohen is full of empty threats." He got a soda out the fridge, grabbed a glass and set it in front of her, pouring the soda into it. "How are you feeling? You weren't getting around very well – do you need some meds?"

She'd had her mouth open to yell at him, but his thoughtfulness stopped her. "Dammit, Cohen. I can't stay mad at you! This could develop into a serious problem, if I'm not careful."

"Ah ha! You can't deny your feelings! I am making progress. Now, what do I do with this unappealing mass of … cow?" He stared curiously at the stuff in the bowl.

Realizing he might be right, she decided to ignore his statement. "Rip up the bread into crumbs and throw it in there. And I'd like some Advil, please. I'm trying to stay away from the hard stuff."

"Be right back." He left the room and was back in a minute with the bottle. "Does this stuff work for you?"

"A little. But I can't think straight on the other stuff. Now wash your hands and mush the breadcrumbs into the meat. I already put everything else it needs in there."

"You want me to … MUSH it together? With my fingers?" He looked at it doubtfully while washing his hands.

"Yep. Then just smoosh in the meatloaf dish and stick it in the oven."

"Huh. Mushing and smooshing. Sounds like I shouldbe kissingsled dogs, not makingmeatloaf." He finished it and slid it in the oven. "Now what?"

"Well, if I'm allowed to walk, we can go in the living room and do the Playstation thing."

"Awesome!" He picked her up again and carried her into the living room. "You're not allowed to walk."

He nodded. "Ok.


	41. Lies41

Lies – 41

"So what'll it be? You probably like Gran Turismo better, huh? I've never seen your Playstation; where is it at your house?" Seth put Summer down on the couch and settled in next to her. "It's getting much easier to shlep you around." He flexed his arms, checking out each bicep. "Either I'm getting buff, or you're losing weight. Just - don't tell me if it's the latter. Let me have this moment, ok?"

"Deal." Summer smiled. "I don't have a Playstation, and I've never played."

Seth appeared to be crushed. "What? I thought – "

"I want to learn, though, if you want to teach me." She gazed up at him hopefully.

Seth stared at her, perplexed. "Wait a minute. You've never played, and now all of a sudden you want to learn how? Why?"

"Why not? It's one of your favorite things." She rubbed her arm, wincing.

Seth watched her for a minute, then made a decision. "Summer, as thrilled as I am that you're interested in learning about my extracurricular activities, I think you've had enough for one day. Why don't we just relax?" He sniffed the air. "Smells good already. We can have dinner and you can go to bed. You look beat."

She shook her head. "I am tired, but I want to stay up like a big girl, and do something fun for a change. I feel like I'm on a toddler's schedule, or – a nursing home's. I know! You go ahead and play until dinner's ready, and I'll watch and try to get the hang of it."

"You got it. One tutorial coming up." He showed her the game controller, explaining what each button did, then started a solo game, talking her through it as he played. She leaned her head on his shoulder to see the controller in his hands better. Seth played a while, then looked down to find her eyes closed, fast asleep. Smiling, he ended the game and slipped his arm around her, resting his head on top of hers. She snuggled into his chest and sighed contentedly.

* * *

"Hey!" Summer raised her head and looked around, speaking sleepily. "What happened to Grand Halo?" 

Seth looked up from his comic book. "It appears that your big girl plan went geriatric on you. And it's Gran Turismo."

"That's what I said. Did I learn how to play before I passed out?"

"Not sure. I'm planning on quizzing you later. Are you hungry?"

"Are you kidding?" Summer headed for the kitchen. "You DID take out the meatloaf, right?"

"You think I would let the precious non-take-out, home-made-by-you-and-me dinner burn? That's just crazy talk. And it's very tasty." He got up and followed her.

Summer caught sight of her purse on the island, with the edge of the manila envelope sticking up out of it. She stopped in her tracks, and Seth ran into the back of her.

"Whoa! Sorry! You must have pulled your emergency brake." He stepped from behind her to her side, curious when she didn't move. "What's up? Did I hurt you? Or - crap! Did I scare you?"

She finally turned to look at him, shaking her head. "No." A slow smile grew on her face. "You don't scare me at all." Instead of going to the stove, she walked to the island and grabbed the envelope out of her purse, her hunger completely forgotten. "Come here and look at this."

Seth, not hearing her, was already pulling the meatloaf pan out of the oven with his back to her. "How much do you want?"

Summer looked from the envelope to him uncertainly. "I know it's asking a lot after ……"

"Not really, after all, you made it. You can have as much as you want." He picked up the spatula and held it over the pan, waiting for her reply.

She was very quiet. "I want it all, Cohen."

Her tone of voice and hesitant delivery sent a tingle up his spine. He slowly laid the spatula down and turned to her. "I think I missed a hairpin curve in the conversation. Just to make sure, though - are we, uh, discussing food here?"

She mutely shook her head, staring at him with huge eyes.

Not sure exactly what was happening, Seth literally bit his tongue to stop the usual, nervous long-winded chatter from spilling out of his mouth. He intuitively sensed that he should shut up and listen, and let her take her time with whatever she had to say. He leaned back with his elbows against the counter, trying to look casual and not even a little bit hopeful.

After taking a deep breath and looking down at the envelope in her hand, she lifted her eyes to his again. "I'm sorry. I let the damage 'that man' did scare me away from you, and honestly, Seth, what we have together is what I need most right now. All of this stuff going on – Coop, and worrying about ending up like her, and her being … gone, and the things that happened when I was little, and my mom, and what he did to me the other day; it's all been wrapped up in a huge, like, knot – that I couldn't unravel. Then Julie told me her boyfriend of 2 years left after she was raped. I heard things at the meeting today that made me see how lucky I am to have someone like you in my life." She pulled the cards and photo from the envelope. "And I got these at the hospital today." She slid the picture and the card the employees had signed across the island toward him.

He quickly scanned the card and then scrutinized the picture, smiling as he realized what their friends at the hospital were up to.

Summer slid the tiny card from the flowers at him. "We forgot this. And I – I forgot what it meant."

He glanced at his own handwriting, then back up to her brown eyes, a question in his own.

She pointed to the photo. "Look at my face there. I had to see this to feel it. I wouldn't let myself trust you like I promised I would. But my expression when this was taken says it all, doesn't it?"

"You look relaxed – happy, even," he agreed with her.

"You know, as much as I like your dad, and I've actually been thinking of him as sort of a dad-like person? When he grabbed my elbow today it made my skin crawl. And I felt really bad about it."

"That's normal, Summer. It should pass in time."

"I know, but still. What I mean - is you? All I feel is good when you – touch me." They shared a quick smile before she turned serious again. She looked down at her ring. "I'm so sorry. I didn't trust you – or us – and I haven't been honest with you." She looked up, as if scared to see his reaction.

"I know it's been very hard for you, and, and really confusing. Apology accepted, even though I'm not quite sure if you even need to. Apologize, I mean." Not able to hold the question back a second longer, he finally said it. "So what are you telling me, Summer? Just in case I'm jumping to a conclusion that shouldn't be - jumped on."

"I shouldn't have pushed you away, Cohen, or broke up with you. I'm saying I need you." Her voice softened. "I love you."

Seth closed his eyes for a moment and let the words carried on that amazing voice wash over him. He wanted to inhale them and somehow hold them prisoner, letting them echo around inside his head forever. He quickly decided, however, that a few seconds would be fine, as there were far more important things to do now. After circling the end of the island, he reached out for her.

She quickly put up a hand, stopping him cold. "Wait. I have to tell you something first - I've been afraid to tell you."

"Ok … Afraid because …?"

She squirmed uncomfortably. "Because you might not want to - um, be my boyfriend."

"I'm sorry, have you met me? Because apparently you missed the part where I've wanted to be your boyfriend since I was six." He smiled, trying to ease her tension.

She ignored his joke, still looking anxious. "Look, Cohen. I'm scared. I'm scared of… Um … Sex." She hadn't yet met his gaze. "Which – really doesn't make me much of a girlfriend."

He was quiet.

She felt the need to explain herself further. "Because I don't know if it'll ever be ok, and – and, you've been so patient and tried so hard and I don't think it's fair that you should have to wait around for something that might never happen. Something – important like that, I mean." She waited and he still didn't speak. "Look, I had to tell you; I couldn't let us get back together without you knowing that." She finally looked up at him. "Cohen! Say something!"

He watched her gravely. "I'm glad you told me. And I'm pretty sure it's up to ME if I want to hang around and wait, not you. And considering my actions so far, what do you suppose I want to do?" He crossed his arms.

Her voice was very small, but full of hope. "You – you want to hang around?"

"Ding, ding, ding, ding! You win! Um… Me."

She smiled, and it grew into a big grin.

"Summer, I can assure you that, while it may take time, we can work through the sex thing. It may be much easier than you think it will, even."

She looked at him doubtfully. "How?"

"Well, believe it or not, this very thing, the sex issue, I mean, was mentioned in several of the websites I researched. And, being the very thorough sort of investigator that I am, I felt that I should learn everything I could about your situation, whether it pertained to OUR situation or not. As it were." He couldn't stop staring at her lips. The swelling and small cuts from the beating looked much less pronounced today, and the urge to finally kiss her again was overwhelming.

She nodded knowingly. "Uh huh. Because you're thorough."

"Exactly. Summer?"

"Yes, Cohen?"

"I, uh, I really want to – " He leaned forward to kiss her and they bumped noses. He immediately straightened up. "Sorry, sorry. I just – maybe I'm a little overeager. I'd hate for our first kiss after getting back together to be as off the mark as THAT just was. It's probably not a good idea anyway, I might hurt your - lips." He tore his eyes away and went back to the stove. "You haven't eaten yet." After cutting a slice of meatloaf, he went to the refrigerator and opened the door, grabbing the salad bowl. A warm hand touched his back and he froze, watching the racks inside disappear as the refrigerator slowly swung closed. He looked over his shoulder at her, then turned, locking on her eyes as she gently pushed him back against the door he'd just shut. Anticipation had him feeling like a kid on Christmukka morning, waiting for the best present ever. Summer placed both hands on his chest and stood on her tiptoes while he slid lower against the refrigerator to meet her. When her lips touched his, there were no fireworks, just warmth spreading through his chest and a huge lump in his throat. It was a tentative kiss, short and light but devastatingly sweet. He groaned in frustration when she pulled away, so far gone that the salad bowl he'd been awkwardly holding out to the side was completely forgotten, beginning to slip towards the floor. She took it out of his hand and set it on the counter, quickly looking back up at him with a smile. "That didn't hurt."

"Are you sure? I'd hate to put you in any pain. So maybe - maybe you should check it out again, just to be safe." He nodded vigorously in encouragement.

She was already moving closer, murmuring to him. "What a good idea …"

She kissed him a little harder this time, slowly exploring until his lips parted and he began kissing her back as gently as he could. The warm flush spread through his body and one hand strayed to the hair behind her ear, his fingers tangling through it. Her hand went to his cheek, and she pulled back just far enough to whisper to him. "Doesn't hurt yet." Without answering, he wrapped both arms around her and pulled her close, relishing the feel of her against him, warm and familiar. He bent his head and kissed her, gentleness becoming difficult with his every nerve ending suddenly highly aware of her lush curves in such close proximity.

The dining room door slid open, with neither of them registering it.

"Hey, gu – OhMyGod. Sorry. We'll just be – um, somewhere else." Anna averted her eyes as she and Ryan went through the kitchen.

Seth raised his head and sighed deeply. "There's meatloaf."

Ryan stopped in his tracks. "Did you say meatloaf?"

Summer and Seth smiled at each other. Seth answered. "Yes, my friend, I did. It's the beginning of good times in Casa Cohen. A new, wonderful era with much fewer bagels and take-out and more deliciousness than this kitchen has ever seen."

Summer reluctantly turned away from Seth, having to tug against his hold as he was unwilling to let her go yet. "I'll get more plates." She finally turned back and leveled a stare at him. "Later, Cohen."

He looked at her with a mixture of hope and anxiety. "Promise?"

She immediately lost her harsh expression, kissing him quickly on the cheek and whispering in his ear. "I promise, sweetie. I swear I won't change my mind about us." She raised her left hand, showing him the ring she still wore.

He laced his fingers through hers, and kissed her again.

Ryan cleared his throat. "Plates? Please? I'd get them, but you're kind of standing in front of them."

Summer pulled away from Seth and he let her go this time. She grabbed two more plates out of the cabinet next to the refrigerator, setting them on the stove. "I haven't eaten yet, either." She finished fixing her plate and sat at the table in the dining room, motioning to Seth. "I know you'll eat more. Come her and help me."

He slid into a chair next to her as Ryan and Anna joined them. "So how was your excursion?" He explained to Summer that the other couple had driven along the coast all day.

Ryan and Anna exchanged a quick glance, grinning. "It was good." Ryan took a bite and looked at Summer. "So's this!"

"Thanks. Seth actually made it, though. I just supervised."

Ryan looked from her to Seth, then back at Summer. "You're kidding."

She shook her head.

"Completely true, Ryan. There's sm… smu… something like sled dogs involved? But in reality, the mystery that has always been meatloaf is quite simply solved." He took a bite off of Summer's fork.

Anna glanced at Ryan, then back to Seth. "Sled dogs? I don't think I want to know. But it's really good."

Seth gave a guilty start as he turned from Summer to look at Ryan and found him pointing a finger, head cocked to one side. "Dude, that raised eyebrow is fairly screaming at the irony of it all." He rolled his eyes. "All right. I apologize for giving you a hard time about Anna feeding you this morning. I was in a highly bitter and completely jaded place back then. I'm better now." He kissed Summer quickly.

Ryan nodded. "I see that. I guess I don't need to ask how your day went."

Seth shook his head. "Anything that happened before … " He checked his watch. "… 45 minutes ago is irrelevant. So the drive was good?" He turned to Anna.

"Oh yes. We stopped whenever we felt like it and looked in shops and sat at the beaches and then drove some more until we found someplace new that looked interesting."

"That sounds really fun! Something different. Different places." Summer sounded wistful.

"It felt good to get away from here." Ryan looked quickly at Seth. "I don't mean "here" here."

"No need to explain, bro. Maybe we could all go sometime soon. Summer could certainly use a day away from all this. And I'm always up for a road trip." He slid his arm along the back of Summer's chair.

"Oh! Oh! And we could all go in the Hummer!" Summer was enthusiastic, remembering why she'd wanted it in the first place. "If we got tired and didn't want to drive home, we could just sleep in it. There's so much room!" She turned to Seth. "Right?"

"We certainly could. It's like a 2 bedroom double-wide sitting out there in our very own driveway. Complete with DVD - and a cooler? Becomes the kitchen."

"But no bathrooms," Ryan pointed out.

"Sure there is. That's why the windows roll down."

Ryan looked exasperated. "For us. What are the girls supposed to do?"

"Hmmn. I guess they hold it until we find a gas station." He shrugged. "Bushes by the side of the road?"

Anna and Summer rolled their eyes at each other. "Don't worry about us; we'll manage." Summer looked around the table. "Ok then. Who's up for a game of Gran … Tur… ismo!" She finished triumphantly, looking to Seth for confirmation.

"I'm impressed, Summer. You got the name right."

Ryan seemed slightly shocked. "You have a PlayStation?"

Summer shook her head. "No. But I'm determined to learn." She kissed Seth on the cheek as he beamed at Anna and Ryan.

"You are?" Anna looked dubious.

"Yep. Looks like fun." Summer stood and began gathering plates.

Shrugging, Anna helped with the dishes, carrying them to the sink. "Then I am too."

"What do ya say, Ryan? Shall we pass our superior skills with the controller on to the girls?"

Ryan shrugged. "Sure. But girls can never play as well as men, for some reason."

Anna bristled. "Excuse me?"

He flashed her a smile. "You really want to prove me wrong now, don't you?"

"Yes. Is that your idea of motivation, Atwood?"

"Seemed to work pretty well." He grinned.

"Just remember this moment in a few weeks when I'm kicking your ass up one side of the Playstation and down the other."

There was a chorus of "Oooooooh's".

Seth nudged Ryan. "Dude. I think you over-motivated her."

Ryan just smiled. "She's right where I want her."

* * *

Seth kept trying to stare at the ceiling over his bed, wanting to relive certain key moments of the day, but his eyes kept closing on him. Quite the turn of events since the last time he'd tried to sleep in his own bed. They'd spent the rest of the evening teaching the girls to play, and they'd both caught on pretty well. Anna was determined to learn and beat Ryan as soon as she could, but Summer just appeared to really have fun and enjoy the competition and companionship. Either way, both he and Ryan had been impressed with both girls. Ryan had finally claimed exhaustion from the day of traveling, and he and Anna headed out to the pool house. Summer was tired, too, and obviously hurting so he'd helped her up to her room and fed her pain medication. He grinned, remembering how excited and happy she'd been when she saw that he'd gone to her house today and brought back a lot more of her clothes. He'd taken over half of her closet, several things from each drawer in her dressers, and of course, many, many pairs of shoes, folding it all into her luggage, then unpacking it again in her new room after driving home. He'd helped her into bed, and then sat with her for a while, just talking. He was quietly elated that she'd changed her mind about their relationship, and found himself stealing shy looks at her during silent moments, feeling as though he was dreaming. Or in 7th grade again. He'd kissed her goodnight – and oh yeah, what a perfect ending to any day. Just as good, if not better, than their interrupted kiss in the kitchen earlier, certainly longer; he finally had to force his lips off of her and let her go to sleep. Knowing she was just across the hall and still in love with him left him content and happy; all the stress from the past few weeks seemed to have been sucked out of him and shot into space, maybe. It was somewhere else now, anyway. Realizing his eyes had closed again, he opened them, studying the lines in the paint on the ceiling that could only be seen at night with the dim light coming through the window. Hearing a faint noise, he slowly rolled his head on the pillow, and now he was imagining Summer standing in his room, wearing a lavender negligee, smiling shyly. Her hair was no longer in the loose ponytail it was in earlier - of course he would imagine her with it down; long dark silk reflecting moonlight in sort of an aura around her head, accenting those breathtaking facial features of hers. And Good. Lord … did she EVER look smokin' in her barely-there nightwear; if he was really awake and she'd showed up looking like that he'd probably have a heart attack or a stroke. His visual senses were overloading right now in this dream, nerve endings throughout his body snapping to attention and saluting Queen Summer of the Lavender Negligee clan. He felt sweat popping out on his forehead. 

"Seth?"

The vision was talking to him. Whoa. Why didn't he dream like this every night?

"Are you awake, sweetie?"

Now why would his dream vision want to know if he was awake? That was just weird ……

Seth sat straight up in bed.

Summer jumped back with a little scream.

"Am I awake?"

She grabbed the closest thing to her hand, and threw the CD at him. "You'd better be after scaring the hell out of me!"

Seth was out of the bed in an instant, hugging her. "I'm sorry! I thought you were just another dream – a recurring dream, that I uh, I have a lot. Often. Sometimes. Fantasy, actually, but I'm just going to stop talking now, because you really don't need to know about that, and ohmygod Summer, you look so – Holy "Stuff" model… There are no words." Quickly letting go of her, he took a step back, as if he'd been touching fire. "Why, uh … why are you in my room, again?" He nervously cleared his throat. "Wearing that?"

"You pretty much ruined the moment, Cohen," she replied dryly.

"Ah, yes, of course I did." He brightened suddenly. "I am more than willing to start over, however, and NOT think you're a product of my overactive imagination when I realize you're standing in my room. You have no idea how well I could play that scene, if you'd only give me another chance."

She crossed her arms, considering it, then smiled and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

Seth lay back on his pillow, attempting to not grin from ear-to-ear. He finally composed himself, closing his eyes. In a few minutes he sensed her presence, never hearing her, and turned his head to look. She was there, closer this time, gloriously gorgeous and once again appearing quite shy when his gaze caught hers.

She gave him an awkward little wave. "Hey. Cohen."

Seth rolled on his side, looking her up and down. He didn't have to pretend to be overwhelmed by her. He could barely speak. "Summer, you are … just… breathtaking." Without even realizing it, he'd stood up and now was being drawn to her like a magnet. He reached out, his fingers gentle on her bruised cheek. She covered his hand with her own. "Summer, I have to tell you one thing. Just one."

She smiled. "Go ahead."

"I want you to be very sure of what you're doing, because I'm no longer going to second guess your decisions or assume I know how bad your aches and pains are. I thought I was taking care of you, but I see that I was probably undermining your confidence by being overly protective of you. I want you to know – I trust that you know what's best for you."

Her eyes widened. "Huh! You mean you won't be asking me if this or that hurts all the time and try to talk me out of sex?"

"There's not one chance in hell, Summer, that I'm going to try to talk you out of sex. Ever." He let his fingers slide slowly down the sides of her neck, then shoulders, and reached around her, pulling her to him. He kissed her forehead. "But. I think we need to talk for a little while." He grabbed his robe and draped it over her shoulders. "I'm confused. You said you were scared earlier." He couldn't stop his hands, they were like somebody else's and he had no control over them – someone else's hands were making their way down her sides and over her hips, back up to the curve of her waist, and down her back now. Feeling soft skin and silky material, and the smell of her hair was intoxicating. Somebody else's hands were almost out of control. He pulled the robe closed and tied it. "Sorry. It's not possible to think with my brain when you look like that."

She looked up at him, her expression anxious. "I am scared. But you said it might not be so bad and I thought maybe you could tell me what you found in your research."

He stepped back. "Wait a minute. You came in here dressed like that to find out research information?"

She had the good grace to look a little ashamed. "Well, it was kind of a test. I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it REALLY, I mean, he almost … and he did things …"

Seth shook his head. "You stopped him … and I don't care. None of it was your fault." He took her hand and led her over to the bed, where they both sat. "Were you afraid that I was just going through the motions, and I'd end up leaving when it came down to this, like Julie's ex did?"

She looked down at the carpet. "Well, maybe. It's understandable, really. Julie said that's what made it so hard for her, because she couldn't be mad at him. It's just – too much for some people to deal with. No one's fault, other than the creep that attacked her."

Seth shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere, Summer. You're stuck with me. And I'm fairly certain that I passed your test." He looked quickly at his hands, not sure if they were trustworthy yet. "Would it help to know that I saw a counselor today?"

"You went to another meeting?" She lay down and stretched out on the bed, patting a spot beside her. He followed and they lay on their sides, facing each other.

"Not a meeting, a counselor for me. Because rape and beatings affect me, too, because – well, for obvious reasons. I can help you better if I've got my own head straight. "

"Oh, I'm so glad, Seth. I've been totally worried about how all mydramahas been affecting you. But he didn't rape me. I was lucky."

Seth voice was soft. "He raped you when you were a child."

"And I'm dealing with that, and I refuse to let what he did the other day take away my progress. If I do, then he wins. I want to have a normal life with you." She laughed as Seth made a wry face.

"If you're with me, normal is not going to be in our vocabulary, Summer."

"You know what I mean." She reached over and touched his chest, running her hand over hard muscle. "What do I do? How can we do this? I'm afraid I'll have flashbacks and go all panic-stricken-freak-out-girl in the middle of it. I could scar you psychologically for life!"

"Too late. Elementary school and my parents already took care of that. But seriously Summer, there are things we can do to make it easier for you. When you feel like you're ready." He took her hand. "It doesn't have to be tonight – or – or next week, even, or a month from now. I really don't care – I mean I care; I care a whole lot, but not like that, about that. So don't feel like you're on a countdown clock to sexual liftoff or that I might be harboring resentment or something totally absurd like that. Cuz, just, no."

Summer was afraid if she said anything, she'd cry. Seth had just addressed her worst fear and she was deeply touched by how well he understood her current state of mind. She wanted him more than ever, enough to convince herself to come to his room wearing a negligee, but as much as she loved him, the thought of actually having sex had been a little disturbing. "You are … the sweetest man alive."

Seth laughed. "Yeah, I'll remind you about that the next time you throw something at me. Thank God we weren't in the kitchen; instead of a CD it might have been a small appliance, for instance the blender or toaster. Ouch. And more important - how would we toast bagels?"

"Shut up, Cohen. You want to just make out like high school kids and see how that goes? Would that be too, um –?"

"Summer, we ARE high school kids."

"Oh, no. I think in terms of life experience? We're WAY into our mid-thirties by now. We've both lost our innocence after all this, in a way." Her expression was sad. "Sorry about that."

Seth shook his head. "I'm not… Listen. I hope you know I'm here; I mean, if you want to talk about what happened the other day. If you – whatever you want. I'm here. Right? Ok?"

She smiled fondly. "Aw, baby, I know. But you're my, like, happy place. I'll talk to the shrink about that crap."

"Ok… Huh… I've never been anyone's 'happy place' before. Sounds very "Sound of Music'-ish. In a much cooler and masculine way, of course." He scooted closer and pulled her against him. "I'm in for a make-out session. If anything makes you feel uncomfortable, just let me know. But try not to use violence. Please. If you could just push me away - lightly, or TELL me, that would be completely acceptable, that is, if that's ok with you. No bashing of the head with the lamp or clock radio - "

Summer sighed impatiently and moved in for a kiss, effectively shutting him up.


	42. Lies42

A/N – Awww. I love you guys. Thanks for pointing out my errors and also all the support. Y'all are the coolest. Also to answer a question: Seth decided not to decide between Summer and Anna at Christmukka. He had identical gifts for them ('Seth Cohen starter packs' that neither of them accepted). He had dated both up until then. Anna wandered into his driveway and they started going out on New Year's Eve.

Lies-42

"Seth. Wake up."

Seth opened his eyes and looked over Summer's head to see his father standing by the bed, looking decidedly pained. Immediately realizing it was morning and Summer had fallen asleep in his bed instead of going back to her room, he took a half second to enjoy waking up with her before forcing himself to gently untangle his arms and legs from hers and get out of bed. He kept his voice low. "It's not what you think, Dad. See? I have on pajamas and so does she. She has terrible nightmares and she's been afraid to go to sleep by herself is all. She wakes up in a panic and it's really, really scary for her and I'm the only person that can touch her without making her freak out."

"Shhh, before you wake her up." Sandy motioned Seth out into the hall. "It could have easily been your mother instead of me coming up here this morning. You're going to have to be more careful."

Seth closed his bedroom door and shook his head slowly, sure that he was dreaming. "Did you just tell me to be more careful? And did you just NOT read me the riot act about sleeping with Summer?"

"Look, kid. I know Summer's having a rough time, and I know sex is probably the last thing on her mind after what happened to her. She's been walking around like a zombie for days, so if you can somehow help her get some rest, then I'm all for it." He raised one finger as Seth began to smile. "BUT. Do not plan on sleeping together on a regular basis. You can sit with her until she goes to sleep, then get back to your own room. If your mother had come up here …? I think you know just how ugly it would have been."

"Yeah, I know."

Sandy put a hand on Seth's shoulder. "So you're back together?"

Seth nodded. "Yeah. She saw the light, finally. Somehow."

"I'm glad, son. Now either get her up, or get her back to her own room before your mom gets enough coffee in her to wonder why you're still in bed."

Looking confused, Seth checked his father's watch. "It's almost 10:00! I didn't realize it was so late."

"You can thank me for keeping your mother out very late last night. Now get dressed."

"Right." Seth opened the door to his room and paused, looking back at his dad. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

After closing the door behind him, he walked far enough into the room to look at her lying in his bed. How many times had he imagined that happening in the past? It was so weird to see another fantasy come to life - her spending the night in his room. Sadly, he had always imagined a different beginning to this fantasy day - one that did NOT include being awakened by his father. He sighed. Summer stretched without sitting and opened her eyes, smiling sleepily at him. He went over and sat next to her.

"Hey, handsome." She reached up, wiggling her fingers in an attempt to get him to lie down with her again.

"We just got busted, you know." Knowing he shouldn't, yet unable to resist her, he found himself lying on his side with her arms around him, his head on her shoulder.

"I heard - your dad is the best. I need kisses, Cohen."

"Actually? You need to get in your own room. Summer." She pouted at him, sticking out her bottom lip, and he rolled up onto his elbows, lowering his head to hers, gently biting her lower lip. She giggled, making him smile as he kissed her. "Did you sleep ok?"

"SO good. No bad dreams at all." She kissed him, pulling him down to her. "So the making out went well, don't you think?"

Seth grinned. "I would have to agree, yes." They'd spent hours kissing without her having a flashback or feeling uncomfortable, finally falling asleep savoring the physical contact. He was surprised that he didn't want or need more, but he truly hadn't. Just holding her was enough. "So what's on your agenda today?"

"I'm meeting Mrs. Wesley at 2:00, then I have an appointment at 4:00. That's it. What about you?"

"I'm completely free today. So… Comics, Playstation, and porn. Not necessarily in that order."

She smacked him lightly. "You don't need porn. Would you like to be James today?"

"Who's James and does he get porn?"

Rolling her eyes, she pushed him away. "Absolutely not. James is my driver, remember? And he waits on me hand and foot, so naturally he doesn't have time for such disgusting things."

"Hey!" Seth regained his balance on the edge of the bed and lay on his side, supporting his head with his hand. "This James guy sounds suspiciously like a boyfriend. Are you cheating on me already?"

"Cohen, I'm asking if you want to BE James!"

"Ok. So theoretically, I'd be the OTHER man today. You'd actually be cheating on me with another version of me."

"Which is totally double the fun for you," Summer pointed out.

"But there's no porn."

"Nope. None. Take it or leave it." She crossed her arms and looked away, feigning indifference. "If you do a good job … there might POSSIBLY be a bonus of some sort in your pay… which WON'T be money, if you get my drift."

"Ah haaa … I'm getting paid non-monetarily to cheat on myself with you? Plus bonuses? I am SO there. Is there a signing bonus? Perhaps?" He smiled eagerly.

"As a matter of fact, there is. Come here." Summer grabbed his shoulder and pulled him down on top of her again, kissing him enthusiastically. She maneuvered him onto his side and abruptly ended the kiss, sitting up and stretching.

"Um …"

"Time to get up, Cohen. That was just an incentive." She stood, opening the robe to show him the negligee she was still wearing beneath it. "Think 'bonuses', Baby."

Seth rolled onto his back, groaning. "What's the word for 'beyond whipped'?"

Summer walked around the bed toward the door, pausing to lean down and kiss him on the forehead. "Besides 'Cohen'? I think it's 'slave', sweetie. You don't mind if shower first, do you?"

Seth shook his head, silently mouthing "slave".

* * *

"That's your Mom?" Seth was incredulous. 

Summer nodded happily.

"She was … hot! I mean – wow … She looked just like you except, except a little older, and uh …" He took the photo of Autumn with baby Summer from her hand, inspecting it closely. "Of course, you were adorable too." He looked from the photo up to Summer, then back at the photo again. "Except for the drool. But – is this what you're gonna look like in 10 years? You'll be like a – supermodel or something." He handed her the picture.

"Aw, Cohen, you're so sweet." She leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Isn't it incredible how much I look like her?" She opened a folder and placed the photo inside with others that Mrs. Wesley had given her. Their meeting had been a surreal experience, with the older woman telling her story after story about her mother, slowly bringing her into focus in Summer's mind. She had described Autumn as a bubbly, outgoing woman, with a huge sense of humor, sometimes goofy, but underneath it all as strong as iron. After having nothing but a blank slate, these new, vibrant images of her mom gave Summer a sense of comfort and real familiarity.

"It's uncanny, the resemblance. Did Dad say why he wanted us to come here?" Seth looked around his father's office, as usual wanting desperately to take the picture of himself down off the wall. His dad loved the photo taken of Seth the day he'd bought his boat, posing self-consciously on it at 14, hands and feet way too big for his rail thin body.

Summer followed his gaze. "Oh, look at that! Is that when you first got "Summer Breeze"?

"Yeah. So - Dad? Did he say why?" Seth wanted nothing more than to change the subject.

Summer got up and walked over to the picture. "You're so cute! How long ago was this?"

Seth snorted. "Cute. Right. Two and a half years. Are you purposely avoiding my question?"

"No, Cohen, I'm not. He didn't say. He didn't sound very happy, though." She watched him thoughtfully. "You've filled out a lot since then. Gotten taller, more muscular. Cuter."

"Uh huh. So where is my father, then?"

Summer walked up behind him and bent to whisper in his ear, sliding her hands over his shoulders and down his chest. "Sexier."

Seth blushed, never having heard that before in his life. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." She moved around to kiss him, then sat back down in the chair next to him.

"But when you're a supermodel, you'll forget all about me and go out with actors and rock stars."

"Stop pouting, Cohen. I'm too short to be a supermodel, and I don't care how hot actors and rock stars are, they could never deal with me like you do. You're the only person in the world that knows the real me, and all this crap with my past has only made us stronger. And I love you more than anything so shut up and quit being so insecure."

Seth stared at her for a minute. "I really like it when you put me in my place like that. I think."

She smiled sweetly. "I know."

Sandy came into the room apologizing. "Sorry, things went long with the lawyer."

"What's going on, Dad?"

"Something has gone wrong, and I'm not sure what, but I have a good idea. I got a call earlier, and the police want you to come down to the station."

"Me? Why?" Seth exchanged a puzzled look with Summer.

"They say they want to get a statement from you about the confrontation Summer had with – Mr. Roberts. Which shouldn't be necessary since Summer already gave her statement about the attack that happened later."

"Then why do they want Seth?" Summer had a sinking feeling.

"My guess is that Mr. Roberts is claiming something different happened than your version of the events." He sat back in his chair behind the desk, rubbing his forehead.

"So you're saying the police don't believe me? They think I made it all up?" Summer was quickly becoming unnerved.

"I'm not saying that, hon. Just keep in mind that Mr. Roberts is a very wealthy and influential man with an equally powerful and influential attorney, and the cops have to investigate his claims. The judge may even grant him bail, so be prepared for that."

"He – he could get out? He killed my mother! They can't let him out!" She stood, losing her composure. "He tried to rape me! He hit me a million times - !"

Seth went to her and put his arm around her. "You're safe with us, Summer. He can't hurt you, even if they do let him out. It's going to be ok."

She wasn't convinced. "And now they want to drag you into it! No. This is not going to happen. You're not going to talk to the cops. They can just talk to me instead. Come on, Sandy. Let's go." She tried to pull away from Seth, but he wouldn't let her go.

"Summer, it's ok. I'll just go and tell them what happened, and then I'll come home. It's no big deal."

Sandy stood, heaving a sigh. "Unfortunately, Seth does have to go, Summer. I've arranged for one of my co-workers to be there with him as legal counsel, and I'll be there also because he's a minor."

Summer looked from Seth to Sandy, and pulled away from Seth. "I'm going, too."

"There's no need for you to go; they won't let you in the room. We'll take you home, then – "

"No. I'm going." Her voice was firm, her mind made up. "I'll wait outside if I have to, but I'm going."

"Are you sure you want to go back there?" Sandy was worried. "You didn't do so well last time – "

"I'm going." She took Seth's hand. "Let's go. Let's get this over with."

"You might as well give up, Dad." Seth was really very worried, but smiled at his dad so Summer wouldn't see it.

"I know better than to argue, son." Sandy walked across the room and opened the door, ushering Summer and his son out.

Kirsten was sitting in a chair in the lounge next to Ryan and Anna, trying to look unconcerned.

"Oh, I see, it's a party." Seth commented dryly.

Ryan got to his feet. "We're just here for moral support. I'm sort of – familiar with police stations, you know."

"Yeah, I heard that somewhere." Seth put his hand on Ryan shoulder. "Thanks for coming, man. I'm sure this is no big deal, though."

"Oh, yeah. I know. I uh, just thought you might want me to go with you."

"I'm going." Kirsten had the same tone in her voice that Summer had, and Seth and his dad shared a look.

Sandy looked around. "So we've got how many cars here now?"

Ryan held up 4 fingers.

"Really Ryan, I appreciate the thought, but I know how much you love the cops. I'll be ok if you just want to head home." Seth nodded for emphasis.

"You sure?"

"Yep. Start up Halo, and I'll be there in a while to kick your ass."

Ryan smiled and put an arm around Anna.

"Good luck, Seth, or whatever you say at a time like this."

"Thanks, Anna. I'll see you guys soon." Seth waved as they left, then turned to his dad. "Ok. We'll meet you."

* * *

Summer and Kirsten stood as the office door opened finally. They'd been in the waiting area for an hour and a half, squirming on uncomfortable wooden chairs and trying to guess what was going on in the room down the hall, taking turns shooting down each other's increasingly paranoid theories. Summer grabbed Kirsten's arm as she saw Seth's face, white and shocked, followed by Sandy, looking grim and determined. His co-worker was a moment later in coming out, but appeared equally stoic. Sandy stopped and took a minute to quietly speak to him, then shook his hand. The other man left the police station, and Sandy headed off another lawyer as he came from the room they'd all just left.

"Not now, Will. It's late and she's still recovering."

Will sidestepped Sandy and approached Summer, who was busy trying to find out what happened from Seth. "Maybe she'd like to talk now, instead of making another trip here, Sandy. It can't hurt to ask, now can it?"

"Damn it, Will, I said not now!" Sandy moved quickly past Will, putting an arm around Summer and taking Kirsten's elbow. "You girls go on out to the car. Seth and I will be right behind you."

Summer stared from one man to the other. "Talk about what? What's going on?"

Will saw his chance and took it. "We'd just like to talk a little more about the day of your attack. It won't take long - ."

"No." Everyone turned to look at Seth, who until now had kept a dazed silence. "Leave her alone. Does she have to, Dad?" He checked hastily with his father, and after receiving a curt 'No', stared down Will. "She's been through enough."

"We'll still have to do it sometime, young man," the other attorney warned.

"Whatever. We're leaving. Come on, Summer." Seth threw a protective arm around her and guided her towards the door.

"What he said." Sandy ushered Kirsten after the younger couple.

* * *

"You're not serious. This is a joke, right?" Ryan sat back in his chair, looking around the table at the rest of the family, plus Anna. 

"Oh, how I wish it were." Sandy stared into his wine glass.

"So let me get this straight. This jerk is saying that after Summer confronted him, Seth was mad at Summer for not telling him everything about her past, and HE beat her up?"

"Very basically, yes."

"But that's ridiculous! Seth has never hit anyone in his life! And she's living here; why would she do that if Seth knocked her around? I mean, I know he didn't, just – how can they justify even claiming something so stupid?" Anna wanted to know.

"Mr. Roberts says that by the time he went back to the house later Seth and Summer had made up and decided to accuse him of the beating."

"But he tried to rape her!"

Summer, who'd been sitting quietly, suddenly rose from her chair. "Excuse me. I have to – I can't do this right now." She turned and walked through the hall to the stairs, pulling herself up with help from the railing.

"I'm sorry. Maybe I should learn to be quiet." Anna seemed ashamed.

"It's ok." Seth spoke, lifting his head from his hands. "We're all thinking the same thing. I asked the asshole the very same questions tonight." He looked around, then got up, pointing after his girlfriend. "I'm going to make sure she's ok. Good night."

Sandy quickly filled them in on the remainder of Summer's father's story. "As for the rest of it, I'll tell you this much – Mr. Roberts is denying the attempted rape and saying that Seth and Summer framed him for it."

"What! That's crazy!"

"Agreed, but that's the story. He's saying Seth went back to the house, Seth and Summer made up, and when he then arrived at the house and started to call the police after seeing Summer's injuries, the kids attacked him and set it up to look like – well, how the police found it."

"But I was here when Seth came home. It was way before the hospital called you about Summer!" Ryan couldn't believe this was happening.

"I know. But Seth told the police that he came home and went upstairs to lie down, leaving a large amount of time with his whereabouts unaccounted for."

"I saw him go up the stairs!" Ryan argued.

"Did you actually see him in bed?" Sandy asked gently.

Ryan shook his head.

"Is it possible that he could have left without you knowing it?"

Ryan, frustrated, just looked at him, knowing the answer was yes.

"These are questions you would be asked if you were to testify, Ryan. All they have to do is put the seed of doubt in the judge or jury's minds. And who do you think has more believability, a wealthy businessman with worldwide holdings, or a high school couple?"

"A wealthy businessman that sexually abused his daughter? They would believe him?" Anna was astounded.

"He denies that also. Says Summer made it up and threatened to expose him if he didn't give her a Hummer and a Porsche."

Anna and Ryan both sat back in their chairs, stunned. "He's twisted everything around."

Ryan snorted. "I suppose Summer's mom 'fell', too."

"Yep. Fell." Sandy shook his head.

* * *

"Hey." Seth opened the door the Summer's room. "You in here?"

Receiving no response, he stuck his head through the doorway. "You're not lying on the floor in here having a panic attack and trying to be invisible again, are you?" He checked carefully on the other side of the bed. "Cuz it's working this time, if you are." He waved at the bare carpeting.

"I'm right here, Cohen."

He turned quickly, and she was right behind him, rolling her eyes.

"Oh. Hey. I didn't really think, you know, that…" He pointed to the floor.

"Whatever." She grabbed his arm, and led him across her room, sinking gratefully into the couch.

"You ok?" Seth took a seat beside her, surprised when she motioned for him to lie down. She leaned into the corner end of the couch, and he stretched out on his back with his head on her lap.

"The question is – are you ok?"

"I'm – well, yeah. No. I'm completely freaked out." No sense denying it. She'd had to drive the Hummer home, he'd been so stunned by the accusations. His hands were still shaking.

She stroked his hair back off of his forehead. "How bad was it?"

"It was freakishly bad. I seriously kept looking around, waiting for Ashton to pop up and tell me I was being Punk'd. I wanted so badly to laugh out loud at the funny, funny joke, but the moron of a lawyer was all red-faced and irate at the GALL of my actions, and the pervert was sitting there looking all outraged at the mere THOUGHT of me beating the hell out of you, his precious, precious daughter. So noble and righteous – he actually said he still loves you dearly even after your betrayal, and he's far more worried about getting justice for you than the fact that he's sitting in jail for something he didn't do. I almost puked." He made a face and shuddered, remembering it.

"OhMyGod. He was IN there?" She was consumed with guilt, sure that she should have seen this kind of thing coming from her devious father. "I'm sorry, Cohen."

"Don't even, Summer. It's his fault."

A tap sounded on the door, and Sandy came in, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "You guys doin' all right?"

"Oh, hey. Just fabulous." Seth pulled himself upright, preparing to pepper his dad with questions, now that the shock had worn off. "Wha -?"

Summer beat him to it. "Bottom line; can he actually get away with this?"

Seth looked from her to his dad. "Yeah. That."

"Maybe. Probably not. There are details he doesn't know that can easily throw suspicion back on him. But … I'm guessing that his story will be leaked to the press, by someone in his camp of course, and you two will come out looking like Bonnie and Clyde."

Seth shook his head. "I can't do a fedora or a newsboy. I don't look good in hats." He took a quick look at Summer. "You, however? Hot. Totally."

"Shut up, Cohen. Sandy, this will help the business aspect like, a lot, won't it?"

"I suppose it will. His company will probably stay stable if the public has the option to believe he's not a rapist/murderer. By blaming someone else, he gives them that option. Of course, neither of your names have been or will be mentioned because it's a rape case and because you're under age, but this is Newport Beach. Everyone knows, and it will get out."

Seth snorted. "And since we're just rich, supposedly spoiled, teenaged kids, and he's a respected businessman, most people will assume his version is what really happened. Another of the top ten reasons why being in high school sucks; everyone believes a lying, sicko pervert before they'd believe a kid. This is just – ridiculous."

"Listen, guys, I'll talk to some people tomorrow and see if I can't come up with enough solid evidence against him to make him recant. They haven't charged you with anything yet, so just relax. I'm sure you'll be required to speak with Will tomorrow, Summer, so be prepared. I'll make sure it's late in the day so I can go in there with you fully prepared to invalidate the bastard's story."

"Ok. Thanks." Summer gave him a weak smile.

"Yeah, dad, thanks. I'm –uh – really glad you're … you know."

"I know, son. Both of you try to get some rest tonight. Everything's gonna be ok." Sandy left, closing the door softly behind him.

"Hey, dad!" Seth yelled at the door.

It opened again. "What, Seth?"

He lowered his voice. "Can you make sure Mom doesn't come up? I mean, please?"

There was a moment of silence. "Son, you're putting me in a terrible position."

"C'mon, please, Dad?"

More silence.

"Ok, how about this? We'll stay dressed. Even if she does come up, she shouldn't lose it too badly."

"Yeah, yeah, ok. But if she does come up, my name is NOT mentioned. I am not sanctioning your sleeping together, clothed or not." Sandy sighed.

"Deal. Night, Dad."

The door closed again.

Summer shook her head. "You're terrible."

"I knew that already. Do you really want to be by yourself tonight?"

She stared at him.

"Ok, I'll admit it. I don't want to be by MYSELF tonight. Is that so bad, that I – uh, kinda need you?"

She half-smiled and shook her head, touched by his honesty.

"Good. Now I'd do something romantic, like carry you over to the bed, but shlepping you around so much has got my arm hurting."

"Told you so."

"It's annoying when you're right."

"I'm always right. Learn it, live it, love it." She smiled sweetly.

"How about if you carry me to the bed?"

"In your dreams, Cohen."

"Speaking of dreams, let me tell you about this one I had. We were in the mountains at a ski lodge –"

"Eww. Snow. Cold. New dream."

"Must you deny me my own dream at a time like this?"

"Yes. Cold makes me all tense and I'm already tense enough. How about a dream about the ocean and a tropical island, where it's all warm and lovely and none of this stuff ever happened and we can lie around in a hammock big enough for both of us under palm trees sipping drinks with little umbrellas in them like lazy, normal people without a care in the world?"

"Can I not have a little umbrella in my drink in this dream? It's kinda frou-frou."

"I think I can edit out a tiny umbrella." She sighed. "The sacrifices I make for you…"

"And yet they show me how much you really care." He kissed her. "I appreciate the sacrifices, Summer."

"You too." She looked away, still feeling the guilt of the situation.

"Hey, let's watch a movie or something. Get our minds off stuff."

"Good idea. You pick."

Seth got up and went to his room, looking through his collection of DVD's. He heard her in the doorway and turned, curious. "You think of one you want to see?"

"No. Actually, um…" She crossed her arms, seeming a bit shy. "Did you print out any of that stuff you've been finding online? I mean, about me?"

"About abuse and violent attacks? Yeah, I've got it all here." He opened a drawer in his computer desk and sorted out several stacks of papers, going through them and stapling the pages of different articles together. "I'm, uh, not all that organized sometimes. But they're all together in the right order now." He held them out her, watching as she just stared at them. "You look as though you may be sick. You don't HAVE to read these, you know."

Her voice was soft. "I know. It's just - it's easier to shove it out of my thoughts. Denial, I suppose is what I've been doing. At the meeting I could pretend it was all about everyone else. Reading this stuff will make it like it really happened. I mean, it happened, I KNOW that, but …."

" … confronting it is hard, Summer. If you're not ready, it's ok. This is all on your time schedule, not anyone's else's."

She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them, drinking in the concern and affection radiating from him. "I think I owe it to myself, and you, to do whatever I can to get past this." She held out her hand, and he gently dropped the stack of articles into it. Her voice lowered to a whisper. "I couldn't do this without you. Any of it."

"I know for a fact that you can do anything you want to, with or without anyone else. I'm just glad you'll accept my help." He smiled softly. "So I'm on my own with the movie?"

"I'll keep one eye on it with you."


	43. Lies43

Lies 43

Seth turned over for what felt like the hundredth time, trying to get comfortable.

A sad voice came out of the darkness. "You're not dreaming about our tropical island, are you?"

"No."

"Spill it, then. What's on your mind?"

"Well, actually, prison. And how badly I don't care to go there. And I can't get the image of that jerk staring at me like I'd actually HIT you out of my brain. No matter what I think about, I end up back at one of those two places."

"I wish I'd been there."

"No you don't. They were so convincing I almost believed it after a while. Was that man ever an actor?"

"All his life, Seth. He probably believes it WAS you that did it. There's something wrong with the wiring in his brain …" She yawned. "Wanna know what I can't stop thinking about?"

"Yeah."

"You in an orange jumpsuit with handcuffs and those shackles thingies. I want to scream every time it pops back into my head."

Seth thought about it for a second. "Not an ideal color choice for me, is it?"

"Not really. Especially the silver stuff."

It was quiet while they both considered it.

"I'm not going to think that far ahead anymore. I just can't." Seth yawned loudly. "So you wanna watch another movie? We're obviously not going to sleep like this. Maybe a really boring movie, like, some chick flick with romance and heartbreak."

"Are you trying to start a fight?"

"No. Honest. I'm just so tired things are coming out of my mouth before my brain can process them."

"So what's different about that?"

"Ha ha."

There was an endless silence and Seth was sure she had finally fallen asleep. He held off on rolling over again as long as he could, not wanting to wake her. Memories of her slimy father pretending to be outraged, staring at him with accusing eyes while the attorney read his statement of lies whirled through his head until he finally couldn't take it any more and turned, at the same time realizing she wasn't even in the bed anymore. He sat up and looked past her side of the bed, trying to make out her figure in the dark, but didn't see anything.

"Seth."

Her voice was right beside him, startling him. He swiftly swung around and found her standing next to him on his side of the bed. "Summer! You scared the …Wha – what are you doing? You, uh – wow. You're – whoa." He felt her hand slide down his arm until it reached his wrist, and she gently pulled his hand and fingers slowly down over her naked hip, and back up to her waist again. He gulped.

"I thought of something we can do that might make us sleepy. Get our minds off things for a while."

Warm hands lifted his t-shirt, sliding up his stomach to his chest, fingers skimming over his skin.

"Let's take this off. I don't think you need it right now."

He obediently raised his arms as she pulled it over his head, not sure what to say. He wasn't expecting anything like this for a long time, and was worried that she might be rushing things.

"Are you - ? You're not suggesting …? Of course you're not, we're just gonna make out for a while, right?"

A shiver ran through him as her lips grazed over his ear.

Her voice was barely a whisper. "Wrong."

She crawled onto the bed and sat in his lap facing him, trailing kisses down his neck to his chest. His hands went involuntarily to her lower back and followed the curves up her sides and around her back again. He started to speak but she kissed him with both arms around his neck, pressing her chest into his and suddenly he lost the ability to talk. Which was ok because he really didn't want to talk at all; he just wanted to feel every inch of her body against his, soft skin and wonderful abundant curves and toned muscle and fragrant hair and Good. Lord she was so sexy and yet … He pulled away from her searching lips, feeling on the nightstand for the remote to the stereo. He turned it on and lowered the volume a little, really only wanting the soft glow of light from it to see her better with. "Are you sure about this?"

Instead of answering she pushed him back into the pillows, and then unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. He saw her hesitate, and helped by shimmying quickly out of his pants. She was lying on her side, watching him when he turned back to her, and he couldn't place the expression in her eyes. He stretched out on his back, wanting her to move at her own speed. "We don't have to –"

"Quiet. You said you wouldn't second guess me anymore."

"I did say that, didn't I? Ok. Then let me just assure you that if for some reason at any point, now isn't the right time, I'm totally good with that."

She sat up, suddenly anxious. "It should be ok, right? I read all that stuff – I know I need to feel like I'm in control, maybe keep my eyes open, so on and so forth and whatever… I mean; it's not like it's a deadly weapon or something!"

"It? Oh. No. Definitely not! You should just think of – it … as a friendly, happy, um, buddy – that only wants to make you think of nice things and, and - and have fun. Big fun. Happy fun. Your uh, pal. Definitely."

"Right." She whispered as her hand moved across his chest and slowly down his stomach.

Seth held his breath as she reached the waistband of his boxers, his skin on fire from her touch. He watched as she stopped and raised her hand, noticing that it was shaking badly. He grabbed it and pulled it up to his chest, turning toward her. "Summer, don't." Her entire body shook and tears welled up in her eyes.

"I can't. I'm … sorry."

"It doesn't matter." He smiled gently, and rubbed her arm. "Come here." She scooted over and he held her close. After a few moments, her tremors subsided and she spoke. Seth didn't need to see her face to know it was her stubborn voice.

"Yes, it does."

"Huh?"

"It DOES matter." She sat up, pulling the covers over her lap.

"It's just sex. I mean, neither of us is gonna die without it. Well, maybe in like, a year or so, but - Quit worrying."

"You don't understand, Cohen. You have to help me with this, it's important."

Seth sat up, leaning back against the headboard. "Why? This is normal after what happened to you. Just give it some time."

"I don't want to give it time. I don't want to be normal. Nothing about us or this relationship is even close to normal. If I can't do this, then he's winning. He's even putting you through hell now, which is so not acceptable." She was speaking intently, trying hard to tell him how she felt, but the words weren't coming out right. Frustrated, she hit her leg with her fist.

His eyes widened, and he reached for her hand. "Hey. It's ok." He'd seen her aggravated like this before, talking quickly, her body tense with the effort of speaking her mind. He flashed back to the letter she'd written in her journal thing, never intended for his eyes. The pages she's written, explaining how hard it was for her to say things to him, things that really mattered. He thought they'd gotten beyond all that, but maybe he was wrong. "Summer, just relax. Take your time, and the right words will come to you. And hey. I'm not going anywhere."

She let out a breath, almost a laugh, immensely relieved that he understood. "You – you're amazing. You remembered."

He nodded. "Want something to drink? Midnight snack, perhaps? How about a meatloaf sandwich? I'll make a kitchen run while you think about things."

She shook her head. "Go ahead if you want something, though."

"I'm good." He settled back against the headboard and she leaned against his shoulder. "Now. What were you saying? Why is this so important?"

She didn't say anything for a while. "Mostly, for you. I want it for you, for us."

"Summer, I don't –"

"I'm still talking here."

"Right. I knew that."

She thought for a second. "It's the one thing I can do for you that means everything, in this case."

Seth bit his tongue, wanting to tell her it wasn't necessary, but knowing better than to open his mouth again.

"Not because I think I need to prove anything to you, but because I care – I care about you. And it's like, kind of a symbolic thing. The thing that scares me most, I want to be for you, give to you. Now. Because you've done so much for me, and mean so much to me, and …"

" … it's what he wanted." Seth finished softly.

She whispered. "Yes." Summer looked up at him earnestly. "I hope it doesn't sound like I think I'm a big deal and wow, like bestowing a gift of sex on you, because while that would be totally like me? It's so not how I mean this to sound. Am I making any sense, Cohen?"

"I – I – Well. What I'm hearing is that, uh - you love me, which is really good. And that this is important to you, which makes it important to me. Because I love you. And I'm truly - touched."

She kissed his cheek. "So now what?"

He thought for a minute. "It seems to me, that instead of going straight for the brass ring again, so to speak, maybe we should ease you into this. Slowly." He motioned for her to lie down. "You're already all tense again. Stop thinking about sex and just relax. Roll over and I'll rub your back for a while."

She complied and groaned as his hands worked the muscles in her shoulders. "That is SO nice. I feel like I've been tied up like a pretzel for a month."

"That's an – interesting visual, to say the least. But you probably HAVE been all tensed up for days, you just didn't realize it." His hands worked lower, under her shoulder blades and down her spine.

A realization hit her. "Hey! How'd you do that? How'd you get me to say what I wanted to say to you before?"

"You were just thinking too hard about it. I distracted you and made you think about something completely different, like snacks, and when you thought about what you wanted to say again, the words were right there for you."

"Sneaky."

"I think 'brilliant' is a better word, but anyway, it worked."

"Mmmmm. I love your hands, Cohen. You have great hands."

"Uh, thank you." He continued rubbing her back for several more minutes, then lay down beside her, still running one hand over her soft skin. "How're you feeling now?"

"Really good." She rolled onto her back. "You want a back rub, too?"

"If you wish. That might be a good way for you to get comfortable with – uh – "

"The male form?"

"Exactly."

"Roll over, then, puppy."

He rolled, laughing, and quickly fell silent as her fingers kneaded him. She was strong on his shoulders, but more hesitant the further down his back she traveled. He heard her take a deep breath, and was surprised when he felt her slide over his legs and butt, sitting on him. She continued his back rub, losing her fear and massaging hard into his knotted muscles. "You have no idea how good that feels."

"Yes I do, silly. You just did this to me."

"I know, but I mean it's better – with you, uh, on me."

"Oh… Really?"

"Not a lie."

"Ok." She slid off to the side of him and then crawled back over, this time stretching out carefully and lying on her stomach along the back of his body. "You like that? Am I hurting you?"

"Definitely yes, and definitely no."

She settled onto him, lying her head down just below his neck. "This is nice. You're warm."

"As are you." Seth could feel her breasts pushing against his back, and all the wonderful, naked, skin of her sleek body against his own, and it was making him insane. Just the sensation of her lying on him like this was simple but surprisingly powerful foreplay. He was hoping it was having the same effect on her. He felt her hands run up his sides and then along his shoulders, feeling their way across his biceps and back up to his shoulders again. Her mouth was moving along his neck now, slowly kissing down to his shoulder, then she slid down a few inches and began kissing his back. "Um, Summer."

"Hmmn?"

"While that is SO awesome, what you're doing there? Really awesome? It's torture not being able to touch you. Are you – would that be ok?"

She slid off one side of him and he turned to face her, reaching for her cheek, unable to stop himself from kissing her. She kissed back, and he slowly ran his hand down her side, trying to be aware of any sort of fear the movement might cause her. She only kissed him harder and he brought his hand back up, running his fingers softly over her breast, playing with her. She moaned into his mouth and he pulled away, lowering his head to her chest as she rolled onto her back to give him better access. She took in a sharp breath as his tongue and lips make contact, and he looked up at her quickly, afraid he'd frightened her. He found her watching him, her eyes soft and barely focused, obviously enjoying his touch. Encouraged, he continued for a while, then began a slow descent with his mouth across her flat stomach. He felt her tense up as he moved even lower so he stopped, shifting around to lie next to her again. He smiled and kissed her, making it long and sweet.

"You're not mad?"

"Mad about what? You're doing great. Do you want to stop?" Seth propped his head up on his hand.

She shook her head slowly. "I'm not sure how to get past this, though."

"You're thinking too hard again. Just concentrate on how you feel, not what we're doing."

Nodding, she finally smiled. "You read A LOT online about this, didn't you?"

Seth looked away. "Just a couple hundred websites ... Some of it's just basic AP Psychology, though."

"Right." She rolled her eyes.

He grinned. "Feel like dancing with me?" He reached for the remote to the stereo and started a slow CD.

"Dancing?"

"Yes. Dancing." He got up and stood by the side of the bed, staring at her expectantly.

She sighed. "Why not?" She got out of bed and put her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder as he held her. "I've never danced naked before. It's weird."

"It's – no – it's very cool, trust me. From where I'm standing, anyway." He gathered her a little tighter, and they both got lost in the music, moving together slowly in rhythm. He felt her hands exploring his back and kissed her, for a moment feeling like a normal teenager in love. They both moved closer, wanting the contact, but when she felt him through his shorts, hard against her hip, she froze, pulled away from his kiss and took a step back. "Summer - friendly buddy, remember?" She didn't answer, so he took her face in both of his hands. "Talk to me. Did you have a flashback?"

She refocused on him, and nodded. "It was like I was right back there on the deck, trying to breathe with him on top of me." She swallowed hard, obviously sickened by the memory.

Seth was too, even though he hadn't seen it. The mental picture was horrifying, especially after seeing the aftermath: the cuts on her face, bruises on her body and inner thighs, and understanding how hard she'd had to fight against the much bigger, stronger man. He pushed his own nausea down, realizing that if she saw it, his reaction would send her down the path of guilt and shame again. "Remember the first time we, uh – made love? I was terrified that I'd disappoint you, but you were nice and pretended like it was really, really good? And the second time, it was different but so awesome – slower, and …" He couldn't think of a word that got close to describing how he'd felt.

"…sweet. And you were so tender and careful I knew you really loved me –" She smiled up at him.

" – and you realized you were stuck with me then and it made you cry. A lot. BIG boo-hooing." Seth teased her, taking her hand.

"Whatever. That ISN'T why I cried, and you know it. I'd never been so - adored, and you felt sooo good and it was so different and when I – when it was over it was like being in heaven, not just having some orgasm." Her expression softened with the memory. She let go of his hand and reached toward his chest, fingers coming to rest over his heart.

He covered her hand with his own. "You remember that first time, I had scored at getting your top off – and oh, what an extraordinary moment that was – and I finally got to, um, play with you however I wanted and remember what you did? That surprised me?"

With her eyes locked on his, she began moving her hand lower, over his stomach. "It was so cute, because you swore you were having fun even though I was getting all the attention."

"I was. Getting to touch you was all I'd been focusing on ever since we'd starting dating the first time."

She gave him a cynical look.

"Well, ok, I'd thought about other things, but in order to be realistic – I mean, look at you. Then look at me. It wasn't very long ago I revolted you, so I kept myself very single minded about what might actually happen between us, so as to avoid frustration or, or the ultimate letdown. So to speak."

"Aww. Cohen. No wonder you weren't expecting anything." She moved a little closer and got on her tip-toes to give him a fast peck on the cheek. She left one hand on his stomach and slid the other around his neck, pulling him down into a long, searching kiss. When it ended she whispered. "Dance some more?"

Seth held her loosely while she dropped her forehead against his chest, and they began dancing slowly again.

"I love this song," she sighed.

"I love you. You're my favorite song." He kissed her forehead and she looked up at him, seeing the emotion from his expressive eyes backed up his words. He bent to kiss her again and felt her hand slide around from his stomach to his back. As he explored her lips with his tongue she leaned into him and moved closer, bringing their hips into contact. She held still for a split second, then went back to their kiss. He couldn't help but smile when she did, breaking their lip lock.

"He's my buddy," she murmured against his lips.

He whispered back. "… that gets perky every time I think of you, were it not for endless amounts of self-control."

She giggled. "I'm not sure if I should slap you or kiss you."

"Tough choice. Try kissing me. It'll make all three of us happy. Uh, happier."

Summer smiled and kissed him again as he backed them up to the bed and sat down.

Summer sat next to him, pulling out of the kiss. "You should – I suppose you need to lose your boxers."

"Hey. I'm the guy here, and this is MY seduction of you. Let me worry about that stuff, ok?"

Surprisingly, she nodded meekly.

Seth looked around the dimly lit room, then stood. "I'll be right back."

"Noo! Where are you going?"

"I'll be back in less than a minute." True to his word, he went out the door then returned quickly, holding a book of matches. Summer had several candles in her bedroom at home that he had brought here, remembering her once saying that aroma-therapy helped her find "positive vibrations". He went around the room, lighting them. "There's no fireplace, but this is close."

"Very romantic, Cohen."

He turned to look, his eyes sweeping over her nude body, once again lying on her side on the bed. "You're so beautiful…"

She became uncomfortable at his gaze and reached for the sheet, beginning to draw it over herself.

"Please don't." Seth pulled a daisy out of one her flower arrangements, shaking the water off of the stem. He went to the bed and handed it to her. "This pales in comparison to you."

She gave him a suspicious look. "What are you doing?"

"Well, Summer, I'm romancing you. I'm thinking that this is possibly the equivalent of your first time, and I'm trying to make it special for you." He sighed heavily. "But apparently failing."

She immediately became remorseful. "Oh, honey, no. That's so sweet. Come here." She took the flower from him as he sat next to her. "It will always be special with you."

Encouraged, Seth kissed her again, and was hopeful when things quickly became heated between them. Once again, his hands were out of control, and the feel of her under his fingers was intoxicating. Rational thought was becoming difficult and he was shocked by his need for her. Ending the kiss and resting his forehead against hers, he fought for clarity in his head. He tried to speak, but it came out more like a groan. "Summer…"

"I know, baby. How do we …?"

He pulled away, finding her face full of uncertainty. She mustered a hesitant half-smile, so he maneuvered her around to sit on the side of the bed. He shucked his boxers, and dropped to his knees on the floor in front of her. "Like this. I think the standard position would make you feel, um, trapped maybe? This way I'm not - pinning you down. If you still -"

"I do." She held his face with her hands. "Thanks. For being so patient, I mean. And thoughtful."

Seth looked down. " Just remember this when I regress back to an insufferable assclown."

"I promise I'll take it into consideration." She kissed him, still smiling, and ran her hands down his sides, then up to his shoulder blades. Breaking the kiss, she lay back on the bed.

He moved between her legs and she immediately tensed up, so he backed away from her.

"What? Keep going."

"I can't really um, do this, when you look like you're waiting for a 747 to fall out of the sky onto your head."

"I do not."

"Yes you do. Your face is all scrunched up, and your shoulders are way up next to your ears –"

"Never mind what I look like, just keep going."

He sighed. "Summer. Come here. Sit up." He extended his hand and pulled her up. "I'm just gonna go right in here and kiss you, so relax." As his lips met hers he grabbed each of her knees moved in between them. He gathered her in his arms and they kissed for a long time, exploring lips and tongues taking her mind off what was ahead. His hands went to her lower back and he slowly pulled her closer, waiting for her to object. When she didn't, he continued the kisses and prepared to enter her, applying the gentlest of pressure. She pulled away from his mouth with a sharp intake of breath. "Should I stop?" He whispered.

"I'm scared." She looked up at him, feeling miserable and not wanting to test his endless patience.

"Honestly? So am I." He smiled softly. "See, it's like this. You mean everything to me and I'll do whatever you tell me right now without regret, whether it's stop or continue."

She had never thought about how this moment might affect him, and hearing him admit his fear made her realize this was no picnic for him, either. Obviously, he still wanted her after everything that had happened, but how much fun could it be anticipating having sex with someone who could have a flashback and possibly claw your eyes out at any given second in time? His words made her feel secure and established that they were totally together in this. Consequently, any thoughts of backing out she'd had were gone now. Her focus had changed to loving him back as much as he loved her. "I adore you."

"And I you."

"Show me." She locked eyes with him as he slid in, concentrating on the way his expression changed and how much she loved bringing him such intense gratification. He was gentle, just like she knew he'd be, and very gradually the tight grip she'd had on his arms loosened. She leaned back, propping herself up with her hands. "Is that better?"

Seth hastily shook his head. "You're too far away." Sensing her confusion, he smiled. "I want to hold you. Although – it's really cool to – look at you like this." He nodded. "The visual is definitely awesome. I must remember this - for another time."

"Then what should I -?"

"Grab my neck. Hold on tight." When she slid her arms around his neck and locked her ankles behind him he kissed her, and while holding her tightly, stood up and turned around, then sat on the bed. He moved back to the middle of the bed and finally crossed his legs behind her. He began a gentle rocking motion and broke their kiss to nibble down her neck. "Is this ok? Not scary?" He whispered.

"I like this. Is it – do you?" Summer felt her face heat up, realizing she was embarrassed to ask him if it felt good. It was such a simple question, yet before Seth she'd never cared enough to even think about the other person's experience. She wondered if he was on edge, like herself, or if this was more of a chore for him than anything else. "I mean, is this as good as if – before?" She rested her head on his chest, defeated, wondering if he understood.

His hands had been roaming up and down her back, but now he pulled her close to him. "Better." Dropping his head on her shoulder, he continued their languid rhythm. She was very quiet, clinging to him tightly with her head buried in his chest, and he wasn't sure if she was feeling any pleasure. He realized that maybe he shouldn't draw this out; she might just be dying to get it over with. He picked up speed and pulled away to look at her, making sure she was ok. Velvet brown eyes gazed back with warmth, full of trust and affection and he was surprised at her total concentration on him. On HIM. "You –"

"No, you." She smiled softly. "Let go, honey. I want you to stop being careful now. I'm ok."

"But –"

"Shhh. Quit thinking about me and concentrate on how you feel for once." Summer shifted her position slightly, drawing a gasp from him. "Ooh, right there." She began to move with him, leading him into a faster, harderpace.When she was surehe was close, she doubled her efforts, soon sending him over the edge. He cried out as he came and she swiftly kissed him, trying to quiet his outburst as he finished.

He pulled away finally and leaned back on his hands while he caught his breath. "You ok?"

She giggled. "Me? I'm not the one waking up people in Chino."

He colored slightly. "Couldn't help it."

"I'm glad it was good, baby." She carefully got off of him, crawling up to the pillows.

Seth stretched out his legs and fell back on the bed. He rolled onto his side, grinning at her.

They shared a long look, with her breaking the silence. "I did it."

"That would be an understatement, in my opinion." He reached for her hand.

"I thought I was broke, but you fixed me, Cohen."

"You fixed you. I was merely along for the uh, ride." He still wasn't sure about something. "Was it – did you – enjoy it at all? Because if you didn't that's cool, not that it's good, like THAT, but they say it might take a little while before it's – good. For you. Maybe. Was it good for you? The next time could be much better. I mean, if it was bad. Was it?"

She looked at him thoughtfully for a minute.

"Honesty, Summer. You're not gonna hurt my feelings. This is not a normal situation."

She nudged under his arm and rested her head on his shoulder. "It wasn't horrible. I just focused on you and after a while I wasn't as scared anymore."

"But you weren't really – into it."

She could tell, despite his saying otherwise, he was now doubting his skills as a lover. "Listen, get that tone out of your voice right now. I'm just glad we got through it without you losing any important appendages or internal organs, ok? This was actually for you, and us, remember, and I'm very content with the outcome."

"I just wish it had been like, awesome for you."

She hugged him as hard as she could. "It will be…In time, sweetie."

They were quiet for a few moments, listening to the music.

"Seth?"

"Hmmm?"

"We need to put our clothes back on before we fall asleep."

"You're ruining my afterglow, Summer."

"You promised your dad."

"But that was before."

She poked him in the side with a long nail. "Move it."

Seth got up slowly, whining. "If I'd known sex was happening, I never would have said anything about clothing. Sex and clothing? Very obviously not compatible. "

"Just put your jeans on." Summer got up, stretching. "I'll race you back to bed."

"Ah. A challenge." He stood watching as she pulled shorts and a tank top out of her drawer, quickly slipping them on.

She got back into bed, disgusted with him. "You didn't even try!"

He bent down for his pants, pulling them on slowly. "I think I like watching you get dressed as much as I like seeing you get naked. Hmmm …… after further consideration – I like it ALMOST as much. It was worth being a race loser, anyway." After blowing out all the candles, he returned to bed.

"You're hopeless, Cohen." She reached out for him and he eagerly went back into her arms, both lying on their sides facing each other.

"More like helpless, where you're concerned. I'm really not proud of the fact, but I'm man enough to admit it."

"I won't tell anyone, if that will help."

Seth snorted. "I think all of Newport is up to date on who's whipped here."

Summer kissed his forehead. "I'm helpless, too."

He didn't know what to say to that, and as luck would have it, a lump formed his throat, preventing him from speaking anyway.

"Do you feel more relaxed now?"

Nodding mutely, he hugged her tightly.

"Good. Get some sleep now, baby. It's late."

He gave her one last long kiss, then sighed happily and closed his eyes.

Summer lay awake thinking for a long time, her head nestled against his chest, softly running her fingers over his back as she listened to his heart beat.


	44. Chapter 44

Lies - Chapter 44

"Summer, I can't let you do this. It's a terrible idea at this point! I doubt if they can come up with enough to actually bring charges against Seth, anyway. Just tell them what happened -"

She angrily shoved the morning newspaper across the table at him, interrupting him. "They've already done enough damage with this! I will NOT let this go any further!"

Sandy glanced at the front page again, shaking his head. "I know it looks bad, but we already knew this would happen. I explained it last night to you both. Look, kid, think of the consequences if you do this. Your -"

Summer grabbed his hand across the table, her voice softening. "I know you have my best interests in mind, Sandy, and I appreciate it so much, but you're not going to talk me out of this. You're just not. Let me explain something to you. You and Kirsten have NO idea what it's been like for Seth at school, or anywhere else he goes, for that matter. He's been outcast, to put it WAY mildly, because he's a decent human being with offbeat interests instead of a snobby, spoiled Orange County typecast. Life got a little better for him when Ryan came, but the bullshit continues wherever he goes. After this?" She pointed to the newspaper. "You're going to have to home-school him, because the irresponsible, lying media just gave the water-polo, football, baseball, and soccer teams at Harbor a good excuse to try to kill him."

"C'mon, Summer. It can't be that bad at school. He's got friends. The Comic Book –"

"Oh, please. The members of the Club will have to vote him out in order to keep themselves alive after this." She shook her head. "I won't let the psycho that happens to be my father drag him down any further. Seth's done nothing to deserve any of this – the only thing he's done is care about me, and look what that's gotten him." Her tone was bitter. "A life of infamy in the scandal rags."

"I'm sure he doesn't see it like that. And where is he, anyway?"

"I don't know. He was gone when I got up." In spite of her outrage at the truth-impaired article in the newspaper, she smiled at the memory. She'd opened her eyes this morning to two long-stemmed red roses lying next to her on the pillow, and the CD they'd danced and made love to last night playing softly. She'd found his clothes on the floor in his room, his bed still made from the day before, but Seth was nowhere to be found. She'd headed to the bathroom for a shower, discovering a huge "Seth loves Summer" written inside a heart with soap on the mirror. While admittedly childish, it had delighted her, sending her into a rare fit of giggles. She'd still been smiling when she came downstairs later and seen the front page of the paper, instantly deflating her happy mood.

Her cell phone rang, bringing her out of her reverie. Seth's picture popped up on the phone, so she answered it quickly. "Hey."

"Bonnie? It's Clyde."

"Cohen, where are you? Where've you been?"

"Hmmm. Judging from your tone of voice, I'm either in big trouble or you are seriously missing my charismatic, charming self. Maybe you could give me just a little hint about which way you're leaning."

"Did you see the paper?" Summer was becoming impatient.

"See, Summer, that doesn't help me very much. But, since I haven't been accused of any nefarious misbehavior, I'm going to venture a guess that waking up without your lover by your side has put you in a less than stellar mood. Which translates to you missing me, in which case I might tell you where I am."

In spite of her worry, she smiled and turned away from Sandy, lowering her voice. "There's a slight possibility that someone here in the house may have randomly wondered where you were this morning."

Sandy rolled his eyes and got up from the table, heading to his office.

Seth was determined to hear her say the words. "Aha! And could this person wondering randomly have been the same person that was, upon waking, further assured of my devotion even in my absence?"

Her smile grew bigger. "The roses were beautiful and the mirror was so very cute, Seth."

"… and she caves in already. You obviously missed me ALOT. Admit it, and I'll tell you where I am."

"You win. This time." She added quickly, sighing. "I missed you, and I was worried about you after I saw the paper. Now tell me where you are, damn it."

"I'm down on the beach behind the house, and I think you should join me."

"At the beach? What are you doing there? Never mind - it sounds wonderful. Are we swimming? Soaking up some rays? What should I wear?"

"Summer, it goes without saying that I enjoy seeing you in as little as public decency allows, but clothing options are completely up to you. I'm not coordinating a social event, I just want to hang out with you for a while."

"Coincidentally enough? I have the perfect outfit for that. I'll be down in a few minutes."

* * *

Summer dropped down onto the blanket next to him. "Hey."

Seth looked her over appraisingly. "As usual, you look – wow." She had on a bikini, but, self-conscious about all the scrapes and bruises on her body, she'd worn a long, semi-sheer caftan over it, simple and floaty. His hand went to her cheek, gently touching it. "Your face is healing really well."

She threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Surprised, he set down his soda and hugged her back.

"Hey, what's up? Not that I don't like the attention, but …"

"I was scared! I didn't know where you were, and I knew everyone would figure out who we were in the paper and I was afraid something bad happened to you!"

"Whoa! Chill, Summer, I'm fine! I just had to go out and I didn't want to wake you up is all. I didn't mean to scare you. I'll leave a note next time, ok?" Seth pulled out of their hug to look at her, bewildered at her worry. And secretly pleased.

"Look, Cohen, our life is all weird and totally abnormal, just like ME these days. Could you try to be more psychic about how I'll react to stuff? I DON'T think it's too much to ask! Geez!" She smiled, realizing she'd over-reacted.

He squelched a laugh, and answered her mock seriously, slapping his forehead. "You're right. Forgive my thoughtlessness. I should have known you'd lose your tenuous grasp on sanity after a morning without me!"

She gave him a kiss. "You're forgiven. But don't let it happen again." She looked over his shoulder at the cooler next to him. "Whatcha got in there?"

"Why, cold refreshing beverages for us, and of course - snacks." He opened the lid to show her.

"Of course! Grapes, Little Debbie cakes, and Doritos - the lunch of champions!" Her sarcasm was obvious.

"Listen, Miss Hater, there are sandwiches UNDER the snacks."

"Why, again, are the Doritos in the cooler, Cohen?"

"Because they're Cool Ranch." He gave her a scathing, you're-so-stupid look.

Pursing her lips, she nodded thoughtfully. "Yep. That explains it." She rolled her eyes and reached across him for a soda. "Seriously, Seth, this is nice."

"Yeah. It is. It's good to have a change of scenery. I didn't realize how much I missed the ocean until I went sailing. It's so peaceful and, and calming. Just sitting here looking at it, even." He dropped onto his side, head propped up by his hand. "Remember when we were dating the first time?"

"You mean when we went fun places together and laughed all the time and there weren't any hospitals or childhood incest or perverted dads trying to pin their heinous crimes on you? Hmm. Vaguely. Why do you ask?"

Seth blinked. "Yeah… well. About that, first. Has dad said when today's round of festivities begins?"

"Yes. There's a preliminary hearing at 3:00, which I will be attending, in case the judge would like to hear why my attacker should learn to enjoy his ratty gray blanket and lumpy, uncomfortable cot for the rest of his stupid, miserable life." She ignored Seth's look of dismay. "He shouldn't even be given a hearing, as far as I'm concerned. It should work something like, you know, three separate charges and you're out regarding bail. It works great for baseball, why not court?"

"Are you sure you want to - ?"

"Stop right there. I'm going."

"Okay, I – I respect your decision, and it's yours to make obviously, but you couldn't even – "

"You're right. I couldn't face him the other day, but I'm past that now. Oh, trust me. Waaaay past it. I'm going." She cocked her head slightly, smiling a little. "That's kind of funny. Your dad spilled his coffee when we had this conversation earlier."

"Huh?"

She pointed beside him on the blanket, where he'd spilled his can of soda while sitting up in alarm.

"Crap. Now you see where I got my graceful gene. And just for the record, I think if he was getting out on bond it would have happened before this. Do you have to talk to the police again, too?"

"I already did."

"What! When? Why didn't you tell me? Why wasn't I there?"

"Um, you were gone. It wasn't a big deal. I told the cops, the attorneys, and the DA what happened from the minute that man came into the guest suite to the time I woke up in the hospital."

"Summer! It wasn't a big deal? Talking about all that again?"

"Well, your dad was there. They tried to twist my words all around to fit the asshat's lies, but your dad helped and I managed not to budge on the story or even have a rage blackout."

"Fun times."

"Not really. It pretty much sucked."

He made a face and she nodded in agreement.

"So. Back to dating." After checking his watch, he got to his feet, extending a hand down to her. "For the next four hours, we're not going to talk about any of this garbage. I would like for us to be on a date, like the old days. I mean, just being good company for each other while making a serious attempt to forget all this other suck-assed shit."

Summer raised an eyebrow. "You're asking me on a date."

"Correct. A date at the beach - just you and me and a cooler full of snacks."

She smiled up at him, taking his hand. "That's all I need in the world. I'd love to go on a date with you."

He helped her up and they began walking down the sand toward the water, still holding hands. "Awesome. We can talk about, um, music. Actually, I don't really know if you're just a Top 40 girl or into other things, too. This is important information, and I can't believe I don't already know."

"True. O-o-or – we could talk about comic books. I know you're like, an addict, but I don't know which ones are your faves. Or why you like them so much." She looked honestly confused.

Seth broke into a grin. "YOU want to talk about COMICS? Now I'm one hundred percent positive that you love me." He lifted their joined hands and kissed hers.

"Well, I won't commit to becoming a fangirl, but I'm interested." They stopped at the water's edge and let the waves rolling in cool their feet.

He looked at her intently. "Speaking of you loving me, incidentally? Last night was - well, I know how hard it must have been for you, and the fact that you – that you uh, trusted me with something so – personal, and difficult? I just want you to know – see, I realize I can be dense about relationship stuff and how you feel and sometimes things you say go right over my head, but Summer, in this case I know exactly what a - a huge thing you gave me and what it really meant." He looked away, lowering his voice. "I just thought you should know that. Just in case."

Summer wasn't sure what to say. Overwhelmed, she blinked back tears and smiled softly. "I never doubted you, Seth. But it means so much that you made sure to tell me. Thank you."

He nodded and finally looked back to her, hooking an arm around her neck. They resumed walking slowly along the shoreline. "You know, I really like my ring. I've never been one for jewelry, but this just kind of … feels right."

"Well, good. I'm glad you don't hate wearing it." Summer held up her left hand, admiring her own ring. "I love mine."

Seth studied it thoughtfully for a minute. "I think it would look better on your right hand."

"Why!" She was instantly confused and more than a little hurt, quickly shrugging out from under his arm. "You said I could wear it wherever I wanted!"

"I know I did, but it just doesn't feel right to me there. It doesn't seem appropriate that you're wearing a friendship ring with an upgrade on that hand. I really think it would be better on your right one."

Bewildered, she took it off and moved it to the other hand. "Ok … I guess … if it bothers you." She stared at him with a furrowed brow. "Does that mean you're having second thoughts about us – about our upgrade? I thought - "

He kissed her, further confusing her. "It means …" He fished in his pocket, finally dredging up something that sparkled brilliantly in the sun. He held it out for her to see as she gasped.

"CohenOhmyGod! You got me another ring!"

He nodded. "I feel very strongly that you deserve better than one piece of upgraded jewelry. This?… Is your pre-engagement ring. That – " He pointed to the other diamond. " - is your friendship ring. Besides, you don't have one on the right hand and, and I thought it might be jealous of your left hand. So this way they both get one. It's only fair."

She continued staring at the new ring in his hand, then looked up at him, still dumbstruck. "You got me another ring?"

He nodded again, wondering if he was going to have to explain it all over to her.

She began jumping up and down in excitement, splashing water all over them both. "You got me another ring! You got me another ring! Cohen! It's so pretty!" This one was 'vintage' style, with a flowered pattern cut into the wide shank all the way around, a large center radiant cut diamond, with small sapphires and beading framing it. Summer was blown away. "But you have to stop –"

He quickly put his hand over her mouth. "Don't say it. I'll spend as much as I want to on you, and while it's none of your business, I got a very good deal from the lady I bought the other one from. She seems to understand that I'm going to be an excellent client. So. Do you like it?"

"Are you crazy! It's beautiful and so - different, like perfect and elegant – it's – it's stunning and gorgeous and ohmyGod, Cohen, I can't. BELIEVE. You got me another RING!" She couldn't take her eyes off it. "What's it say inside? Did you have it engraved, Seth? What does it say?"

"'Disaster-proof'. Not terribly romantic, I know, but it seemed rather appropriate." He slid the ring on her finger and kissed her, fully knowing that she was kissing him with her eyes open, left hand held up behind his back.

She broke the kiss and hugged him tightly. "Wow, Cohen, you sure know how to show a girl a good time on a date."

Seth started laughing. "I just wish I'd had a camera. You were jumpin' up and down and squealing like you'd been tasered! It was freakin' hilarious! I never would have guessed you were the jumping up and down and squealing type."

"Shut up. I was excited. I AM excited. Seriously, baby, thank you! I was completely fine with just the other one, but this? Makes me feel really special. And by the way? It's scary how well you pick out jewelry for me."

He shrugged. "It just looked like a "Summer" ring. The saleslady brought me like, three to look at that were pretty nice, but when I saw this, I was done shopping. And by the way? You are special."

"No, YOU are."

"Nuh uh, YOU are."

"No, really, YOU are. Cohen, right now I feel like going back to the blanket and giving you a nice long back rub. Then we could have a sandwich, and after that you could lie with your head in my lap while I feed you grapes and Doritos. And then we could sneak back into the house, slip quietly into my room and give that sex thing another whirl."

Seth stared at her. "I, uh … I am really quite special, aren't I?"

"Hah. I win." She grinned in victory.

"It doesn't have to be quietly."

"Excuse me?"

"You said slip quietly into your room. By now no one's home. Nothing has to be done – quietly."

"Do you remember anything else I just said we could do, Cohen?"

His brow wrinkled in concentration. " …………………………… ………………………………………………………………Doritos?"

She rolled her eyes. "You wanna just skip the backrub and lunch and go to my room?"

"Yes." He nodded for emphasis.

Summer grabbed his hand and led him up the beach toward the blanket and cooler, suddenly unsure of his expectations. "Seth? I do feel more relaxed about this since last night, you know? But I can't promise it will – "

Immediately knowing what she was about to say, he interrupted her. "Look, you don't need to warn me. I know it's probably going to be a long road for you, for us, still. But listen, Summer, I hereby vow to do everything in my power to make sex better for you. I'll make it a priority to help you find your way back to where you enjoy it as much as you once did. See, for me? Every time I've had sex – No. Forget that. I definitely mean - every time I've _made love_ with you has been the new highlight of my life, and if you ever feel like you have to stop, or need to freak out, or just can't do it at the last second? I assure you again – I will understand. And it will still be the newest highlight of my life. Not – not because it's sex, I don't mean it like that, but because - Because it's you, Summer. Wanting to be with me."

She stared at him, openmouthed. "God, Seth. You are the sweetest – " She grabbed his face and kissed him soundly. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"I ask myself that same question pretty much every day – about you, I mean. Obviously."

They both smiled, sharing a long look, then packed up the picnic and started for the house.

"Summer? Just out of curiosity, how come we can't go to my room?"

"Because, Cohen, my bed is king sized. Yours isn't."

"That's true. But, um, why does that matter? It's not like we're gonna be taking up a lot of space, if you know what I mean and I think you do. It's like, uh, two people taking up one person's space. Basically."

"Uh huh." Summer laughed. "Oh yeah, I see right through you, Invisible Man. Don't think I've forgotten how you made a huge point to show me your bed that first time I went to your room and met Captain Oats. This isn't about 'space' – it's about fantasy fulfillment, isn't it?"

"Oh, Pshhtt." He threw a hand in the air, dismissing the thought. "Of course not! I'm simply making a statement about … about … yeah. Something other than - that." He glanced away from her, embarrassed.

"Sure you are." She put a hand on his chest, stopping him and got on her tiptoes to kiss him, then whispered in his ear. "Today, Cohen? I want you to make me a list of a-a-all the places you've ever dreamed about. Right after we take care of number one on that list – spending some quality time in your room. In your bed." After kissing his cheek, she walked away humming, leaving him standing there with a startled look on his face.

She looked back several seconds later to check on his progress. There was none. "Coming, sweetie?"

Seth opened his mouth, and after realizing that nothing was forthcoming, promptly closed it again, nodding vigorously. He stumbled, almost losing his footing completely in his haste to catch up with her.

* * *

Seth looked around his room contemplatively, hands behind his head. "It looks different – more mature, now that it's a sexually experienced bedroom. It has a manly feel to it."

Summer nodded. "There's sensual subtext everywhere, right down to the folds in the curtains and the knobs on your dresser drawers."

He looked from the windows to the dresser quickly, then back at her anxiously. "Do you think my mom will be able to tell?"

Summer laughed, shaking her head. "I think you're safe, Cohen. Your mom doesn't WANT to know, so she'll never pick up on the new vibe."

He relaxed back into the pillow. "You're very smart about people. I like that about you. Among many other things. Not the least of which is that you look totally smokin' lying there like that. Now I understand why artists try so hard to portray beauty and love in their paintings and songs, yet they very rarely capture it in a way that's equal to what the heart sees." His eyes swept over her as she lay on her side next to him, long dark hair tousled and cheeks still flushed from exertion, gently stroking his chest and stomach. "It would be impossible to duplicate what my heart is seeing, but if I were an artistic person - you, Summer, would inspire me to try."

"You are so adorable!" She shook her head. "But Cohen, the guy is supposed to use smooth lines like that to GET the girl into bed, not AFTER the sex."

"I know." He shrugged. "But this way you know for sure it's not just a line."

"My face is completely messed up and I'm covered with bruises. I'm hardly beautiful, although I appreciate the attempt to compliment me." She looked away from him, suddenly ashamed of her appearance again.

Seth rolled onto his side and softly kissed her forehead, then each of her bruised cheeks, her healing split lips, and then her black-and-blue jaw. "I don't see anything messed up. As far as I'm concerned, you're perfect."

She hugged him tightly as his cell phone rang, muffled from somewhere on the floor.

They both sat up to look, with Seth finally realizing it was still in the pocket of his jeans. He reached down and snagged his pants, finally maneuvering the phone out and up to his ear. "Hey Dad …… We're, um, close by …… She met me at the beach …… I didn't know you wanted to talk to me, or I would have come home. What's up? …… I'm what! Why? …… All right, if that's what it takes …… We'll be there soon." He hung up the phone with a sigh, speaking patiently. " Summer? Did you know I'd be taking the stand today?"

"Uh huh. I did."

"And you didn't think maybe it would be good to tell me about that?"

"YOU said we weren't talking about that stuff for the next four hours. Four hours isn't up yet." She pouted. "I'm still on my date. Besides, all you have to do is tell the truth and not let the bad attorney trick you into saying something stupid."

"I really like how you put things into perspective." He stood up, staring at his jeans.

"Are you mad at me now?"

He bent to kiss her. "I couldn't be if I tried. Anyway, Dad wants to go over this testimony stuff pronto, so I think, in order to save time of course, and hot water, we should take a quick shower together."

"Yay! That's still date stuff! I didn't want it to be over yet." She smiled happily at him. "You give good date, Cohen."

"I'm very glad you're having a nice time, Summer. Because so am I."

"Good. Go ahead and start the water, I just have to check and make sure I have something to wear that color coordinates with my new ring." She stood up on the bed and hugged him. "I love you. Hey. I'm taller than you like this. It's really – weird."

He looked up at her. "I think I like you in your compact, low to the ground version better. Now that I would, uh, kick you out of bed or anything this way."

"Aren't we supposed to be hurrying? Your hands seem to be a little out of control again."

Seth stepped away from her grudgingly. "I cannot be held responsible for my actions when you are standing naked on a bed in front of me and I'm eye to eye with – those - wonderful things." He walked away, slapping her on the butt. "Hurry up. I'll scrub the back of anyone who joins me in the shower in the next 3 minutes."

Summer leveled a glare at him.

"As long as it's you, my little love muffin."

"That's better. Don't make the water too hot, either– my hair will frizz."

"Yes, ma'am. One tepid shower, coming right up."

* * *

Summer smoothed her skirt for the 10th time. "Are you sure this looks ok?"

"It's fine." Seth and Sandy spoke in unison. Ryan chimed in, a little late. "Fine."

Anna gave her a quick hug. "You're gonna be brilliant. Don't worry."

"Thanks." She made a face. "This seemed like, really different in my head. Now that I'm here, I'm kinda nervous."

Kirsten squeezed her hand. "We're all here for you, Summer."

Summer looked around at them, standing by the first row of seats in the courtroom. "I know. Thank you all so much." She squeezed Seth's hand a little tighter and looked up at him. "Are you sure you're ok with everything, Cohen?"

"I'm good. Just tell the truth, right? No big deal."

"Yeah. No big deal," she echoed sadly. The courtroom buzzed with conversation and was filled to capacity with a multitude of her father's business associates, journalists, and most of Orange County's elite. She idly figured there were at least 20 million dollars worth of designer suits and dresses in the room, and suddenly felt like passing out. Sandy had reminded her that probably no one knew her identity as the victim in this case against her father, but she still felt as though everyone in the room were staring at her with contempt, waiting for her to break down and confess that she'd made it all up. No one accused fine O.C. businessmen of these types of sordid things and got away with it. What was she thinking?

"Hey!"

Focusing, she looked at Seth. "What?"

"It's time. You're going to be ok, Summer. Trust me."

She looked over to find Sandy standing up at the prosecution's table, eyeing her worriedly.

"I'm right here behind you. You'll be fine." Seth kissed her quickly and gave her a hug while whispering in her ear. "Stay mad. Don't let him get to you."

She nodded and turned to join Sandy, stopping with a jolt as her eyes met her father's across the aisle. If looks could kill, she and Seth might as well be on a cold slab in the morgue instead of the courthouse; so pure was the rage on his face. His attorney spoke, and just as quickly he morphed back into a normal, everyday businessman, an upstanding pillar of society talking quietly with the man next to him. Summer shivered despite herself and forced her feet to move, hastily joining Sandy.


	45. Chapter 45

A/N – Sorry, sorry, sorry! Um…serious illness, surgery, promotion, moving… Forgiveness? Please? Here's a little for now. Thanks for liking this so much!

Lies - Chapter 45

Summer felt the eyes of every person in the room boring into her back as she separated herself from the crowd and walked to the prosecution's table to join Sandy. When she reached it, he pulled out a chair and helped her into it, seating himself next to her. Then the whispering began. The police had yet to charge Seth or her with anything, but the paper had detailed her father's ridiculous story without naming names, since they weren't of age, and the entire county had been speculating all day on the identity of the person accusing Mr. Roberts of assault. She'd met almost every person packed into the courtroom at one fundraiser or another throughout the years, and as the spectators got a good look at her, low tones of shocked recognition filled the air. She took a deep breath.

"You still want to do this?" Sandy's voice was concerned.

"Definitely not. But I'm going to." She looked past him as his co-worker took a seat at their table. "Do I look ok?"

He checked her out critically. "You look battered, which is good. We want the judge to see that. But rest assured, kid, your beauty shines through."

She managed a small smile. "I know you think I shouldn't go up there and talk, but I have to."

"Hey." Sandy held both palms up in surrender. "I know who's in charge here." He turned to confer with his partner as the DA joined them.

Feeling quite alone, Summer glanced back at the first row. Kirsten was talking with Julie and Caleb, who'd finally arrived yesterday from Italy. Funny how Kirsten and Julie had actually become friends of a sort. Ryan and Anna were deep in conversation, holding hands, and she was thrilled for both of them. They seemed to compliment each other, kind of even the other out, and while she'd never have guessed THAT pairing would work, it made perfect sense now. Jimmy was here, looking haggard and ten years older; she hadn't known he was coming. Seth was talking quietly to him, and from the look on Mr. Coop's face, he was saying all the right things. Sure, Cohen had a habit of putting his foot in his mouth, but he also could be eloquent and thoughtful, and his heart was always in the right place. He looked so handsome in his suit and tie, older and a lot more confident, somehow. Not surprising, considering the things he'd heard and seen and done in the past few weeks. The amount of responsibility he'd shouldered for her was immeasurable, and it showed in his face and the way he carried himself these days. He glanced up, catching her loving look, and smiled at her - saying everything she needed to know with his eyes. When he turned back to Jimmy, she gazed down at the ring on her left hand, newly determined to do everything in her power to protect him.

An hour earlier she'd faced her enemy over a cold gray table.

_Summer shivered, telling herself the air conditioning was the cause. She stood, nervously twisting her ring around on her finger while waiting for the guard to bring her father into the room. Glancing quickly at the dark glass wall, she was momentarily comforted by the fact that Seth and Sandy were on the other side watching her. It would be nice to be able to see THEM right now. Seth had been beyond wigged when he'd learned that she wanted to come here, even going so far as to flat out forbid her to go anywhere but the courthouse with him. That grand display of authority had lasted almost ten minutes, until he realized she was out in her Porsche, about to leave without him. Face grim, he'd opened her car door and abruptly motioned her to scoot over, not saying a word while he drove her to the police station. She sat down again, placed her hands palms down on the table in front of her and pushed her anxiety away, concentrating on keeping her head in control, not her emotions. The doorknob turned and Satan entered the room, briefly showing surprise to see her. He was followed by a burly guard who immediately locked the door and stood in position next to it._

"_Hello Angel. You couldn't stay away from me, could you? How sweet. Have you come to your senses and decided to drop these charges you made up against me?"_

_His voice was smooth, words flowing like oil tainted with venom. Summer fought a hot flash and the urge to throw up, managing to maintain a stone face. "The general public isn't aware that you molested me when I was a child. Retract your story blaming Seth or I'll tell everyone in the courtroom AND the press about it. I'll go on every talk show and every radio station in LA and New York and give very specific details. I'll talk to every magazine and every newspaper from 'Cosmopolitan' to the 'Wall Street Journal'. I will ruin you."_

_He inexplicably beamed at her, momentarily throwing her off guard._

"_Wow! Look who inherited Daddy's cutthroat business sense! Now THAT'S how you broker a deal. Very impressive, Summer."_

_She watched him cautiously. "So you'll leave Seth alone?"_

_He was fully aware that their conversation was being monitored. "Of course not. I couldn't lie just because you have a misguided crush on one of your many conquests! The little nerd framed me; I can't let him get away with that. Unless of course you drop the charges against me, then we never have to see him again, and you and I can go back to being a loving family. Just like when you were little." _

_He winked at her, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up. She knew exactly what 'just like when you were little' meant._

"_I don't know how we grew so far apart, Angel. I suppose I spent too much time away from home on business. But we can change all that. You could come to live with me in LA, with your stepmother, too. We can get you the help you need after that… boy – tried to rape you and beat you up so badly. Looks like he really lost his temper. Does it hurt?" He reached across the table towards her face. _

_The chair legs screeched as she pushed it back from the table, standing quickly. "Don't you ever try to touch me again."_

_He sighed dramatically. "Oh, it pains me to see you so traumatized. I'm sure it will be a while before you're able to let anyone touch you, after what you've been through. It makes me so sad to see you like this."_

_She leaned forward with her hands on the table, staring him straight in the eyes. " Funny you should say that. More like hilarious since you're the one that did this to me. Look, I'm not here to listen to your bullshit. Drop the lies against Seth or I go public with detailed stories about my perverted father."_

"_Think of it, Summer. Your friends at school would stop talking to you, stop including you in their little cliques. People will take sides, most calling you a lying whore; a few calling you vengeful or misguided. But all will look at you with pity or scorn and simply avoid you." He shook his head. "I just don't know why you'd want to say that. It will just show the world that you're a pathetic child willing to lie about her family in order to get her own way. It's time to grow up, my girl. No one will BELIEVE you."_

_She ignored the very real possibilities he'd brought up of how she'd be perceived by the general public and concentrated on his words that had literally made her stomach roll. "I'm NOT your girl OR your family. The sight of you makes me want to puke." Realization dawned on her face. "Speaking of family? There've been times while growing up that knowing I was created by shit like you made me want to kill myself. But now? I understand now that I must have more of my mother in me than you, because all along Seth has seen it and never given up on me."_

_His face grew red. "Seth." He spit the name out like it was rotten milk. "That –"_

_Summer flatly interrupted him. "He loves me, and I'm going to have a kick-ass, happy life in spite of all your efforts to ruin it. I'm going to be a whole person – a woman able to love and trust completely in spite of how YOU raised me. In spite of you AND to spite you. THAT, Father? Is a promise." Her eyes narrowed. "You will plead guilty to the hell you put me through and recant your lies against Cohen by the time the hearing begins or I swear I'll tell the world about my 'very special' childhood. Believe THAT." _

_She looked up at the guard. "Let me out. Now."_

_She quickly walked to the door, not looking back._


End file.
